The Parched Chronicles

-- Chef, Photographer, Liberal, Progressive, Feminist, Lesbian, Fangirl -- This blog is really just a shrine to beautiful women and whatever interests me at the moment.

[warrior-of-storms]

Very stupid that I can't take the muscles out of my neck & upper back & beat them with a meat tenderizer. I think that would fix me

[kremblor]

Just want to remind everyone that Janeway is so ride or die for Tuvok that when he missed a check in "twice in the last six days" she had an entire plan - which including getting permission to get a criminal out of jail - in order to go and retrieve him ..... Despite her ship not yet even being out of space dock.

Tuvok: missing a check on

Starfleet Intelligence: alright, he's got another one coming soon. Let's start preparing the various -

Kathryn Janeway: *slams open the automatic door* Here is my list of potential dangers he could be facing, my multiple contingency plans for each of them, and my multipart rescue plan to go return Lt. Tuvok.

Starfleet Intelligence: that... That door was automatic Captain.

Admiral Paris: YOU WANT TO GET MY SON OUT OF PRISON?!

Kathryn: I leave tomorrow.

Starfleet Intelligence: we haven't even approved it yet.

Kathryn: I'ma bring you the Maquis he's with as a treat

Starfleet Intelligence: So, what was your plan again?

[stra-tek]

[westernwitchy75]

[rosspadalecki]

Funnily enough, a Star Trek economy would eliminate billionaires. So yes, both.

[stars-bean]

Hocus Pocus (1993) dir. Kenny Ortega

[fir-fireweed]

Y’all! The Em Dash has finally delivered a public statement regarding the AI allegations.

And it’s glorious!

Read the full article on the McSweeney’s website here!

[i-believe-that-we-are-many]

THE EN DASH RESPONDED!!!!

[angrywarrior69]

Great now im shipping the em dash and the en dash

[holyblanchett]

Love of my life actually

[maliwart]

What if Mon had a different crash out at her daughter's wedding? Still got the Monkleya brainrot don't worry

Print and cropped version

Image ID in alt

[runawaymarbles]

There should be a fanfic writing game called the showrunners challenge where someone writes a story and partway through someone else can play things like "actor leaves after 4000 more words" or "topic now too politically sensitive due to unforeseen world events" or "lost rights to that reference"

[copperbadge]

I need this to be a real game right the hell now

[sprintingowl]

I do not have the energy do do a full layout right now b/c it is kickstarter season and I am under water, but here's a prototype that can be solo-played (you can also have a friend just pick from the lists if you want that pvp feeling.)

Showrunner's Challenge By Runawaymarbles (also sorta by sprintingowl)

Begin writing a fanfic. It is a feature length television program being watched every week by thousands. There is no plan. The industry is in shambles. The writer's room is barely hanging on.

At the end of each chapter, roll a d12.

1 Everything at once. Roll twice, use both. If you get this again, keep rolling. Your only way out is to stop getting 1s. 2 Product placement! The next chapter must center (and subtly promote the features of) a product belonging to the most recent brand you've seen. 3 Fan favorite. Your most recently mentioned character (or named object) is now beloved by the audience. You must give it a bigger part in the story, a special destiny, or an important new romance or friendship. If you get this twice for the same character or object, the adoration cools and you must go back to treating the character or object normally. 4 Executive meddling. You must change to a different genre. You cannot go back to a genre until you have changed genres three times since then. 5 Audiences are craving more coziness. The next chapter must be completely low stakes and set you at ease. 6 Audiences are craving more suspense. The next chapter must take place entirely in a single location, ideally just a single room, and build tension with every exchange of dialog. 7 Audiences are craving more action. The next chapter needs to involve at least one extended fight scene, and the weapons must be the last three objects mentioned. 8 Audiences are craving more romance. The next chapter needs to involve a deep, sappy confession of either love or admiration between two characters that have not previously been romantically involved. 9 Go to the most recent line in your fic that references a brand. Due to ongoing legal action, that brand cannot be mentioned again, but you score 1 audience point every time you allude to it in a way that paints it in a negative light. 10 The two most recently mentioned characters' actors have, IRL, gone through a VERY messy divorce or friend breakup. You cannot put them in the same scene, but they must both remain relevant parts of the show. If you get this with the same two characters again, they reconcile. 11 The most recent negative event (stabbing, poisoning, banishment to jupiter) is now the center of a very real IRL news story. You must immediately pivot away from all plotlines involving it and, if possible, also find away to apologize for even thinking to include it without breaking character. 12 The most recently mentioned character's actor has decided to leave the show. You must write them out in the next chapter. If you are brave, also roll a d12. 1--6, they were well loved and their sendoff must be as flowery as possible. 7--12, they were despised by the cast and crew. Mulch them.

You win if you can complete the fic in a state of relative coherency.

Alternate Game Mode: TV Digest Version

Don't write full chapters, just summaries of what happens in each chapter.

Alternate Game Mode: Realism Edition

Start your fanfic with your own telling of the first episode of an existing show, then proceed from there.

[patrick-stewart]

STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION | 2.09

[babyfoxcollectionthings]

[sabertoothwalrus]

[thatdisasterauthor]

Somehow this video captures the scale of whales better than any other video or photo I have ever seen.

[cam-oak-corg]

That is a humpback. If you think they are huge, I have some news for you…

[may-the-nerds-be-with-you]

Me watching this video

[foone]

Fun fact: the blue whale is the biggest animal to ever live on earth. And they’re alive today.

The biggest isn’t some dinosaur or weird devonian fish, nope. It’s the blue whale, and you share a planet with them. How lucky is that?

[risingchaos]

Being lost in the delta quadrant with low amounts of resources and replicator credits causes some issues on board. The most suddenly pressing concern is everyone’s uniforms.

Most of them have run washing machines before, of course. A couple here and there, specifically the Maquis members, have hand washed. But almost all of them are very, very used to being able to replicate new uniforms when one gets damaged, and now, you’re kinda stuck with what you have. Everyone has to wash their uniforms, and more importantly, repair their uniforms.

Problem is, basically no one on board knows how to hand sew. Some of the Maquis members know how to fix stuff in a pinch, and a couple who are into old crafts do, but basically no one has. With one notable exception, of course.

Suddenly, home ec classes are being held. Tuvok is the main instructor. Neelix is, oftentimes, his assistant, generally because they’re held in the mess hall.

They both become the most dreaded part of everyone’s week, having their little stitch lines scrutinized by one and then complimented by the other. There’s tutorials on everything from how to patch up your uniforms to how to hand wash and properly dry them (Chakotay takes the place of Neelix for this one) to minor repairs on material goods in their quarters. Tuvok has many people come up to him over the course of their trip, holding out a beloved item from home in need of repair, and he takes the time to show them how to fix it.

It reminds him of his children. It reminds him of home, getting his hands busy again. It’s annoying dealing with everyone, it’s fulfilling in a way he hasn’t had in a while, and it ends up building rapport with the crew, so Janeway never lets it die out, and gives him a smile in return to every single unimpressed stare he sends her upon seeing another fully registered class on his schedule.

[pian-ran]

BLACK SAILS XXVII dir. Steve Boyum

[lonely-night]

continue the ‘seven made a holo!janeway’ au:

- maybe you should go see her.

- we will stop for repairing. nothing more.

- don’t you wish to see her? even for a microsecond? you designed me based on her, seven. it’s ok to admit you miss her.

[lonely-night]

#watched that da vinci goes rogue episode yesterday and now it’s got me thinking about this but janeway in da vinci’s study #the firelight…the pottery…the angry italians yelling at them from the street #ya know. ambiance (via @queerofdenial)

OH MY GOD DO NOT PUT IDEAS INTO MY HEAD

[thegloriousrevolution]

Captain Janeway narrates the journey of the Voyager 1 spacecraft in Elio (better with headphones)

I about fucking cried and it's only a minute in. Don't come at me with your bullshit takes on this absolute beauty of a movie. And please go see it in theaters. It deserves to be viewed and loved.

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

she once laughed and i wanted to frame the sound in stained glass.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

has anyone else ever had a fanfic that just... haunts them? like it's been months and maybe even years since you read it, but it just lingers with you and you can never truly leave behind the imprint it made on you? and maybe it's just a single line, one sentence that you can't shake off, that takes up residence in your mind and stays there, feeding into your psyche and subtly influencing your brainspace and maybe even your writing or other works?

[nondelphic]

"just write a little every day" ok but what if i write nothing for 3 weeks and then suddenly type like i’m being hunted by god