The Time Lady Victorious

Kelsey | 30s | aro & gray-ace | she/her (icon & header by me)

[fleebites]

trying very hard to see clearly

junicorn day 02

[ros-sauce]

Kitty Kitty was begging me to turn the sink on, but I was running so hard on autopilot that I didn't register that she wanted the sink to be Just A Little On, and I ended up turning it on full blast while her head was right under the faucet. Luckily she, like me, only possesses 3 brain cells, so she didn't consider getting upset, and instead just stared at me while purring as her forehead became increasingly drenched and I realized what I had done.

[ros-sauce]

artistic rendition

[akashicrecord]

starting a foundation that gives disadvantaged children one wild ass night at the club

[overturned-toybox-of-thoughts]

Why the fuck are you suggesting putting CHILDREN in a club?

[akashicrecord]

So they can sip grey goose, maybe have a cig, and feel the rhythm? Are you the fun police?

[bef0re-i-sleep]

One kind of funny thing about Tumblr culture is that it's a universally unspoken rule that if you meet another tumblr user irl and you don't know them super well it's a little odd to ask for their Tumblr, even though youd do that with pretty much any other social platform. Like I was chatting with this person in one of my classes and they were like "oh yeah I have tumblr!" And I was like "oh cool me too!" Then we both just paused for a second, and just. Moved on with the conversation without asking for each other's Tumblr cuz You Don't Do That?? Your tumblr is a personal place. You dont share that shit with strangers. And tbh?? I love that

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

the tumblr accent is so real. my friend offered me strawberries yesterday and instead of saying anything normal I looked her in the eyes and said “strawberries my beloved.” she looked at me like I was insane

[important-animal-images]

[mrhealyourgirl]

the ghoulish grabber

[whoviandoodler]

[ID: a picture of a black cat staring and reaching through a gap in headboard boars. its nails are extended and one of its paws is gripping the pillow while the other reaches forward menacingly. End ID]

[everyluxoziatonce]

i let him hit cause. uh. well i’m gonna be honest it’s cause i fucked up my parry timing

[aromantic-diaries]

Ooooooooh you wanna interpret that fictional character as aromantic because there is subtext that would actually back that up and aromanticism would also add another layer to their character and would make so much more sense oooooooooooooooooh🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥

[despazito]

I want to be a house un-flipper. I want to buy expensive houses and make them look so shitty it devalues the entire neighbourhood

[wolverinequeen]

I did this. I wouldnt call it making it shitty, but some people have scoffed and said I “Redneck’ified” the neighborhood. I moved to a suburb in 2009, it’s not HOA thankfully but older people acted like it was. I got cops called on me for my lawn being too tall the week I moved in, like 8 inches and such and they continued to do this often for my grass and my dogs being “too stinky and an eye sore to their view”

I have asthma and can’t use a push mower. I don’t own a riding mower. I can’t mow my lawn timely. I’m also not gonna pay a company to mow here 2x a week. I have a relative mow the front portion of my yard a few times a summer and we call it good. I then rewilded the property so the native plants manage themselves, my backyard is a meadow now. I have lots of trees.

People stopped fussing about the lawn eventually and these old huffy folks eventually moved away. I got chickens, turkeys, quail, rabbits in the meantime. My place is a hobby farm. I planted crops and gardens. My yard isn’t immaculate but it’s okay. I have corn and watermelons growing in my front lawn. 

From then on, a neighbor turned a spare acreage across the street into pasture and got a pair of donkeys. A herd of feral guineas roams the whole neighborhood. I’m the poultry lady here. A guy talked to me about turning his property for pigs recently. Someone on another street turned extra lots they bought into a meadow for their herd of goats right in the middle of the suburb. On the other side of the neighborhood someone has horses in a nice big field. At the road entrance to the neighborhood, the first house you see is another hobby farm of a couple dogs, a 4 wheeler,  some really happy kids and chickens. And their house is really beautiful too.  

All of this because I stopped mowing my lawn regularly when I moved in.  

It’s truly a thing of beauty and the homes are getting more affordable! Because someone in a local fb group complained a few months ago about it “I can’t sell a house here for the highest I want to because of all these places here! This used to be a decent neighborhood!” 

You don’t have to make things downright shitty. You just have to stop mowing your lawn regularly. 

[explorerrowan]

Lawns are the worst

[weirdness-is-good]

[bumblebeebats]

God what i wouldn't give to have the sheer stamina and work ethic of my next door neighbor. Every morning, 8am, the hammers and drills come out. he's putting up shelves. he's feeding cables through walls 6 inches from my pillow. He's putting together furniture. He's making smoothies. He's 74 years old. Does it piss me off? of course. But i have to admit that he is clearly also the superior being. I need The Substance but to turn me (anemic 20-something with the constitution of a consumptive Victorian child) into this absolute beast of a man

[bumblebeebats]

Met this same neighbor today as he was effortlessly hauling his bike up 4 flights of stairs having just finished a 20 mile bike ride and i (masked and bedraggled) explained that I'm on the tail end of a cold but venturing out as I've run out of food, and he was like "Aww no!! 🥺🥺 If you ever need me to pop down to the shops and do some shopping for you just let me know!!" like Steven, that is SO kind, truly, but I have to draw the line at you doing Meals on Wheels for me right now. what i actually need is for you to come with me on a Back To The Future style adventure and somehow make you my biological grandpa because my current genes are simply not pulling their weight. can you leave me your zest for life in your will, Steven. Steven please

[fragranticareviewers]

[fragranticareviewers]

[claie171art]

Petrova line

[dailynarnia]

is jake gyllenhaal gay??

why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this

[helloitsbees]

happy pride month to this post specifically

[whirlybot]

"i hate to say it, but you were right"

[homunculus-argument]

A proper salad consists of three divine components:

ingredience (vegitable of all kin)

indulgence (dressing, oil, salt, croutons, cheese, etc)

violence (chopp and shred that shit asunder)