One Nice Bug Per Day
oozey mess
Show & Tell
taylor price
#extradirty
Color Me Curious
Not today Justin
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Phantogram Three
almost home
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ojovivo
The Bright Sessions
occasionally subtle
tannertan36
ellievsbear
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@the-shadowhunters-tribute
French senator Claude Malhuret sums up the world made by the current American administration, 5 March 2025
"We were at war with a dictator, we are now fighting a dictator backed by a traitor."
Hearing one of our centre-right Senators matter-of-factly call Elon Musk a buffoon on ketamine and compare Trump to Emperor Nero was satisfying.
Alright letâs get this over with
AHAHAA, GOTTEM
Every year the notes on this post make me so happy
I am yet again fueled by outrage for another year
M O R E
>:o)
this is genuinely breathtaking lmao
Yeah look the weird smut comments are totally out of pocket but I really can't get over "im more into dr.seus or self help books lol"
I spent a lot of time handcuffed and in a cage in high school, for a charity bit the grocery store I worked at would do
the bit was that I was "put in jail for having too big a heart" and customers could donate to my bail to get me out (and the money would go to a children's hospital or something)
now. I was very clearly a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a large cage. and I would honestly tell people that I had been in there for hours. and people would say, that's terrible! that's awful! and I would show them my wrists red from the tight handcuffs, and say but I'm sooooooo close to making bail.
and then they would dump some cash in the basket, I'd thank them, and they'd walk away.
and every so often, one of the managers would come by and collect some of the cash, so I could keep being soooooo close to making bail.
I was very good with this bit. Parents with small kids would pay $5-10 if I told their children I had been placed in jail for not cleaning my room/doing my homework, etc. For people in their 20s, I'd threaten that I was very bad at playing the harmonica, but I WOULD play it and we'd all suffer unless they paid me. and for the most amount of money, older men in suits would almost always pay $20s if I avoided eye contact and stammered a lot.
eventually, the managers started to feel bad because I was in the cage so fucking long and often, that I'd need someone to brace me when I got out because I'd have no feeling in my legs. wobbling like a newborn giraffe.
but I would also rake in at LEAST $100 an hour in charity.
so they were like, hey champ. can we, uh, give you a pillow to sit on. in the cage. would you like a pillow so you're not just sitting on a cold metal slab. can we give you a pillow.
and I had to explain to them that if they gave me a pillow, people would think I was more comfortable, so they wouldn't feel as bad, so I'd bring in less money.
the compromise was that they'd bring me a nice coffee every couple hours, which I would have to try to block with my body from the customers.
all this money went to charity. that's what the money was for. it's what was on the sign. but how much they were willing to pay was very contingent on how comfortable I looked, never mind the fact that I was still a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a cage.
and out of the dozens of shifts I did this on, not ONCE did ANYONE say, hey kid I'm going to go talk to your manager because what the fuck is going on here. they would just drop money in the basket, and I'd thank them and sip from my secret drink.
I actually had people get MAD at me that I told them I was far away from bail, they donated like $15, and then 20 minutes I got let out because my shift ended.
again. the money was for charity. it was on the sign that was very clearly placed on the upper half of my cage.
so yeah. even when people think they mean well. people can be really, really fucking stupid.
took me a bit but this is roughly what the cage looked like, without the middle platform
It was something that was originally used in the back for carting boxes, but was repurposed into a teenager cage
they'd wheel it out and the one open side would be backed against either a wall or a large display (like very tall rows of soda boxes or something)
Then I'd get in, they'd push the thing so it would be as flush as possible against the wall, and then I'd stick my hands through the bars for them to handcuff me. there'd be a sign up top explaining the bit, and then a shopping basket tied on front for people to drop the money into.
the handcuffs were fake, and I could unlock them myself for obvious safety reasons. I would get more donations if they were tight, though.
After maybe a month or two, I asked for a harmonica to sell the bit. they also tried giving me a mug, but it was too awkward with the handcuffs. I got kind of okay at playing the harmonica, but the main point was just to do one sharp blast to startle people into looking down, and then I'd threaten that I had no idea how to play, but would do so anyway unless they donated to my bail. managers actually got me a prison jumpsuit to throw over my uniform, but it was really fucking awkward so we stopped eventually. I also got a metric fuckton of mardi gras beads so I could lure small children over, to then mournfully tell them of my imprisonment due to not cleaning my room, etc. parents would be moderately irritated that I'd lured their children over with beads, but would respect the game that I'd given their kids a whole new fear. I had some parents even ad lib what I could have been thrown in prison for. guaranteed donations.
obviously, the prison bit worked best with younger girls. my roughly 50-60 year old manager once congratulated me on doing so well with the donations because I "looked like a cute sad little puppy in one of those RSPCA commercials. like a helpless puppy or a kitten." wearing makeup and earrings also increased the rate of donations.
had to explain to another girl how I regularly got $20s, which was when an older guy in a suit walked by I'd rattle my handcuffs slightly to draw attention. 10/10 times the guy would walk over, and I had to tell this girl like. If you avoid eye contact and sound uncertain you will get at least $20. I am sorry. this is for children's cancer research.
cannot stress enough that the other employees fought to get to be in the cage. customers were so awful and the weather was so shitty. jail meant sitting down with very few expectations, talking and joking with people.
Anyway. Shit was definitely not an allegory, though it could be used as one for about 11 different things.
Still better than customer service.
Tumblr is super big on the "I didn't say it was good, I said I liked it" but really need to discover the value in its opposite of "I didn't say it was bad, I said I hated it".
You can acknowledge that something is good, great, a masterpiece even, and just straight-up not enjoy it.
i just need a break from everything for a year or a century
target spotted
you are free to engage
forehead kiss in bound
Thank youâŚ
they call me the cello the way they're all spreading their legs for me
It would be more accurate to say "they call me the cello the way a select few weirdos are spreading their legs for me," as the cello is not a widely played instrument, nor am I a widely liked person.
they call me the cello the way I go SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH
I saw some weird ass conspiracy video thing today of like 'we were never meant to have access to yeast, that was cultivated in a lab and it harms us' bullshit and I was like well first off there's no such thing as 'meant to' and second of all um? the long history of acquiring yeast from beer foam stretching so far back ??????
....you can acquire yeast FROM THE AIR.
If you want to make sourdough started from scratch, the process is 'mix water, flour, and maybe sugar if you've got it, then WHIP IN AS MUCH AIR AS YOU CAN' and let it sit. And this works. Because there's yeast there. In the air.
Not only is there yeast in the air, it's on a bunch of fruits, too. Ever rubbed a blueberry, plum, or grape, and it was slightly darker underneath? That thin film is wild yeasts. There is also yeasts that live on human skin (and not just pathogenic ones!). We are never without yeasts.
You do not have access to yeast; yeast has access to you.
The haunting ancient Celtic carnyx being played for an audience. This is the sound Roman soldiers would have heard their Celtic enemies make.
Man if I heard that shit while descending upon a strange land with my brethren I'd straight up dig a hole to die in right the and there, fuck the emperor fuck the gods that's a warning straight from the bones of an older evil and whatever is coming is worse than death
Wasting away again in Tumblrinaville
recently came across some plates and bowls that would be perfect for a children's hospital
ONE
SINGLE
JOKE
why r callouts always like "please dont harass this person and dont go after them. anyway heres every single detail of their life gathered by stalking and their private profiles for all to see"
"please don't go after this person! now let me post this document for every single one of my followers and list every single one of their usernames"
the thing that bothers me with 7 deadly sin based characters is when they cant decide if they embody the sin by suffering from it or by drawing it out of others. ie. if your gluttony demon is a guy who loves eating then your lust demon should be a gooner sex pest. and if your lust demon is a seductive girlboss then your gluttony demon should be a 5 star chef. does this make sense.
ânever kill yourselfâ is such a funny phrase to me that i think itâs accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ânever kill yourselfâ enough times as a joke and maybe you wonât try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore
Vampires when they sip on your blood and catch extra strength Tylenol, at least two psychiatric meds, two cups of coffee, weed, and microplasticsÂ
