addie baker-miller

~ i used to be on fire, but i'm still an angel ~

[the-undoll]

🧸☁️🌸 addie’s intro post 🌸☁️🧸

about me:

basics: addie, she/her/hers, 20yrs old, aspiring writer and english teacher, and uni student.

formerly: dreamytiara5547, audrey baker-miller.

archetypes: ENFP-T, scorpio sun/aries moon/virgo rising, enneagram 4w5, 🌸🌑🍄 (style roots).

favourite fictional characters/kins (kff): imogen heaney (heartstopper tv series), sarah lynn (bojack horseman), shira schwooper (long story short), fluttershy (mlp:fim), elle woods (legally blonde).

other fun facts: i'm bisexual, and have diagnosed autism and ocd, and potential adhd. i also have medically recognized PDA.

hard lines and boundaries

i do not welcome any sexual comments, images, or messages. if you send me any of these, i will block you, and i may report you if i see fit.

i do not get involved in discourse. i find that due to the nature of the internet, online discourse often devolves into hurt-fueled generalizations about specific groups, which does more harm that it has ever done good. i also believe it’s best to educate myself by finding resources and living my life outside of the internet.

[paradoxspaceheater]

the thing about misogyny is that femininity is both devalued AND forced on women (and those misgendered as women). if you fail to meet the arbitrary standard of Womanly Charm you're ugly and unwanted and hate yourself and if you succeed you're shallow and brainless and weak. if you don't try to conform you're lazy and if you do you're vain. it is not possible to beat this system. feminism needs both "feminine doesn't mean weak or less-than" AND "women don't have to be feminine to have value", and if you are fighting for one of these the people fighting for the other are not your enemies, nor are they privileged over you.

this post is inclusive of trans people, including but not limited to trans women and transfeminine people. exclusionary sentiment is not welcome.

[newlyy]

Not that I think all marriages are doomed but when deciding who to marry you should ask yourself “is this someone I’d want to divorce?” As in, is this someone I believe would be mature and fair, even when they’re upset and don’t particularly like me at the moment. Is this someone I could continue to trust while going through an adversarial process? And if the answer is no, don’t marry them.

[djglory]

realizing nothing can fill my void other than doing everything i said i would do for myself

[stuckinapril]

most freeing thing ever is practicing the phrase “they do it to themself” like as someone who used to bend over backward to keep people comfortable, and who literally felt guilty establishing boundaries around people’s behavior, it’s a new ball game being able to admit that they literally cause you to distance yourself and that if they just tweaked a few things you wouldn’t need to establish the boundaries you did. like it’s okay to admit people play a hand in your reaction to them that they can change if they really wanted you around. there’s no reason why the brunt of understanding and empathizing should be on you. never lose your empathy by any means (people these days are too caustic) but it’s also okay not to have to put yourself through the wringer for someone who’s not willing to go through the discomfort of self reflection for you

[the-undoll]

taken from vicolorico on pinterest, edited by me.

[wsabe-deactivated20150709]

if you’re reading this, i hope you’re okay

[tordenvejr]

you have to love the world more than you're afraid of it

[the-undoll]

found on pinterest below, user unknown: https://ca.pinterest.com/pin/2181499817062943/

[aoiui]

love people who allow their grace of not knowing to become brilliance. an openness for everything to exist

[gailynovelry]

I think it might be useful if we viewed representation as an imperfect community effort rather than a big, heavy weight that every writer, artist, animator, etc needs to bear by themselves.

[the-undoll]

[the-undoll]

if you are creating exemplar palettes for the colour seasons, and your options for light season hair are all blonde, you have a narrow and limited view of what you're talking about, and no one should use the resource you're making. you need to make changes or replacements as soon as possible.

[the-undoll]

i’m falling more and more in love with my looks every day.

[bebsi-cola]

when i made a post for people with psychosis. which, let's be honest, barely counts as a positivity post when I'm just demanding you include them in your activism. i got a slew of dedicated anons trying to trigger a psychotic episode in me (which i deleted). there was backlash against such a mild, lukewarm post even in the notes. and most of the people agreeing with it also generalised it to include other stigmatized conditions. which, i agree that people with other conditions also need to be included, but it is in some respects somewhat frustrating. because it feels like people aren't really addressing the ableism and saneism that people with psychosis face. that including them becomes another checklist on being a good disability advocate and that there hasn't been sincere introspection about psychotic disabled people and how we can protect them in our community. do you understand. i asked for an iota of respect for people with psychosis and instead i got anons trying to trigger a psychotic break in me, assuming that it's a condition i have. that can be so dangerous for people with psychosis. they're vulnerable to being triggered by malicious actors and, like many disabled people, their symptoms can easily be used to relentless abuse them. and for what? merely mentioning the existence of psychosis and someone wanted to trigger something that could seriously harm or kill a person? with the comfort of their anonymity people online are relentlessly cruel to people with psychosis. actually consider how we can protect our fellow disabled people, understand their reality, and include them in our communities and try not to just pay lip service to it. next time you think unreality warnings are silly or someone should get the obvious joke (which is straight up saying things contradictory to reality) without someone giving up the bit to reassure them, remember that a mere mention of this condition was enough for someone to try and destabilise my entire worldview and mental health. because they thought that they could.

[fromthemouthofkings]

Just, take it from an ex-trad Catholic who has been abused by a woman. If you have a friend, a self-contained community, someone you look up to, an elder or an authority or a lover, who tells you that the rest of the world is out to get you, that they're the only ally you can rely on, that the outside world wants to kill you and you'll only ever be safe with them, RUN. They are setting you up to be isolated and abused. RUN. There is no magical gender or sexual relationship or group of people that is free from all abuse. The best protective factors against abuse are transparency and accountability around relationships and power dynamics, and maintaining a wide variety of safe connections outside of the group or relationship. Even when you really are marginalized and vulnerable. Even when some of Them really are out to get you. Anyone trying to get you to cut off connections with the outside world and put yourself under their exclusive control DOES NOT HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART.

[the-undoll]

source: @dbsbfkkksj on Pinterest