Waluigi, Unraveled (2019), has greater cinematic artistry, story structure, and cultural impact than any other film released this year, and is therefore most deserving of an Oscar nomination. In this essay I will

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Waluigi, Unraveled (2019), has greater cinematic artistry, story structure, and cultural impact than any other film released this year, and is therefore most deserving of an Oscar nomination. In this essay I will
god today i IDād an old dude buyin booze and he pulled out a fake ID with an elvis pic, then laughed and pulled out a matching one but with curly from three stooges on it, and im like okay please and he finally pulled out his real license and his legal name was steve sinner
that was the devil
Cappy sure loves his NAPpuccinos and Costco rotisserie chickens
The separation of Rotisserie Chicken and Connoisseur keep making me think theyāre two separate things
the reason healthcare is free in the Pokemon world is because every time some corporation starts hoarding all the wealth some 13 year old comes in with a team of literal gods to stop them
whats the point of having a cat if it doesnāt commit crimes
Walks into the shelter like āgive me the biggest bastard hereā
kitten needs constant attention
Imma start yelling then
The pure delight on his face
HEREāS THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello youād get connected to them, so I just launch right into my āHarvard University and NPR blah blah blahā thing and then thereās this long pause and I think the personās hung up even though I didnāt hear a click
And then I hear āyou shouldnāt be able to call this number.ā
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we arenāt selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
āNo, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.ā
I explain that itās randomly generated and Iām very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
āMaāam, this is a matter of national security.ā
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.
This is my new favourite story.
When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.
There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.Ā
The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.Ā
During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. āThis is a holdover from the cold war.ā They said. āIt isnāt going to come up, but hereās the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.ā
So my third night there, itās around 2am and thereās a ringing sound.Ā
I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.
So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken byā¦
āUh⦠Is Shantavia there?ā
It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporationās command center in the mid-west United States.
Thereās another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying āI think you have the wrong number, maāam.ā and Iām standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.
The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.Ā
Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that Iām sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so Iām reblogging it again where I swear Iāve reblogged it before.
But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.
Seriously, this is legit.
In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline.Ā Hereās the ad they posted.
Only problem is, they misprinted the number.Ā And the number they printed?Ā It went straight through to fucking NORAD.Ā This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay.Ā NORAD was the front line.
And it wasnāt just any number at NORAD.Ā Oh no no no.
Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. āOnly a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,ā she says.
āThis was the ā50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,ā Rick says.
The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. āAnd then there was a small voice that just asked, āIs this Santa Claus?ā ā
His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke ā but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying.
āAnd Dad realized that it wasnāt a joke,ā her sister says. āSo he talked to him, ho-ho-hoād and asked if he had been a good boy and, āMay I talk to your mother?ā And the mother got on and said, āYou havenāt seen the paper yet? Thereās a phone number to call Santa. Itās in the Sears ad.ā Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.ā
āIt got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, āThe old manās really flipped his lid this time. Weāre answering Santa calls,ā ā Terri says.
And then, it got better.
āThe airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,ā Pam says.
āAnd Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,ā Rick says.
āDad said, āWhat is that?ā They say, āColonel, weāre sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?ā Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, āThis is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.ā Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, āWhereās Santa now?ā ā Terri says.
For real.
āAnd later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, āThank you, Colonel,ā for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,ā she says. āYou know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing heās known for.ā
āYeah,ā Rick [his son] says, āitās probably the thing he was proudest of, too.ā
So yeah.Ā I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.
Source:Ā http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport
OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS.
Iāve seen the first post a bunch of times, but never the story of How The Santa Tracker Started.
Broke: Barbie's many different careers are a way to sell dolls and accessories to little kids.
Woke: Barbie had every single one of those careers and is an immortal timeless being.
Bespoke: Barbie's different careers are different versions of Barbie from across the multiverse who occasionally swap place with each other or combine into one Barbie.
SO THEREāS SOMETHING YāALL SHOULD KNOW ABOUT...
Attack of the clones
I have often used Barbie to explain Greek mythology, and people laugh until I explain it, and then they get really serious and thoughtful.Ā
I say,Ā āThe Greeks ascribed aspects to gods. Apollo had many aspects, but all were Apollo. Heās like Barbie that way. Sheās an astronaut, a veterinarian, and a rollerskater, but no matter which of those things she is in the moment, she is always still Barbie. She is Barbie in her aspect as.āĀ
Then people get not only the idea ofĀ āaspectsā of godhood, but also, well, the changeable yet eternal nature of Barbie.Ā
the illusion was always that we just had to doĀ it. justĀ ādoā the homework. the meal prep. the college application. just write the email, send the homework, follow up with that interview, clean your room. these are easy things, one-click things, two-hours-max things.Ā we had so many people in our lives shout it at us.Ā āwhy didnāt you just doĀ it!āĀ
often my answer was a soft i donāt know.Ā an i-got-tired when actually it was more like - i couldnāt. i just couldnāt. it feels like everything is covered in snow. donāt you know that iām mad at myself too? i want this stuff just as much as you do. i want to live in a clean house with good food and have an okay job and know iām not disappointing the people iām coming home to. i donāt likeĀ missing opportunities and having to scramble in a panic about last-minute things.
iām a fully grown adult. she is posing for a pic on insta. if you want a life like this, go out and get it.Ā itās 2pm and i havenāt eaten breakfast. i am staring at the space where i should be working.Ā
her video has a laugh. ājust do it!ā
1 month post-op
Woah you used to be a mushroom??
yeah dude iām trans, ftm (fungus to man)
iām a simple person; anything happens, i cry
Tl;Dr chic fil a funds the National Christian Foundation. The National Christian Foundation paid a preacher to help with a bill to pass in Uganda. That bill gives the right for folks to kill gay people. People's lives > sandwich.
guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way
wait whatās the difference?
one you can use in the oven safely and the other you can also use in the oven if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire
Angus, looking at the 3 upper lip hairs he has managed to grow in the past year:Ā I am Angus McDonald
Angus:
Angus: *whispers* man detective