A Series of Unfortunate Life Choices

28, USA, metaphorical party animal, metaphysical slacker, Disney and Harry Potter fan, and a down-right bookworm.

[ayeforscotland]

And with your help we can make it 100%.

[hatchetfield-scarecrow]

I hope Barbie is so good and successful it makes every executive that’s turned everything bright and fun made for young girls into edgy boring teen dramas for the last ten years spontaneously combust into flames

[neotrances-deactivated]

this is one of my favorite videos in the world

[jezifster2]

Violence set to happy music will never get old to me. Blood splattering to an 80s pop song is like a sister to me because I'm not allergic to fun.

[memeclassheroes]

[darkladynyara]

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again- watch ravens with wolves if you want to find out how few fucks your average scavenger gives about your place on the food chain.

[disneybound]

Hi Barbie!

[katestewartt]

SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE (2023)

[volturialice]

esme sure loves art 

vampire twitter 4/?

[saturnsupremacy]

Why did you leave out the best bit ??

[darthmauls]

ken is just ken.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

"Occupational Hazards" Barbie: Life In The Dreamhouse (Season 3: Episode 6)

Summary: Ryan convinces Ken that he needs to get a job to fully provide for Barbie, however nothing seems to work due to his innate ability to predict when she's in need. In the end, Ken discovers that being Barbie's boyfriend is his job.

[kleefkruid]

My dad was dealing with some mixed feelings so I told him "In therapy when something is too complicated to do a simple 'pro and contra list' we sometimes do an excercise where you imagine all these mixed feelings around a table in some kind of conference, letting each tell their bit and you leading the debate."

and my dad didn't really respond and just stared ahead so I kept preparing lunch. Until a few minutes later when he suddenly piped up: "I am having a bad time at the conference"

[humandisastersquad]

[animentality]

[urfavesarelesbian-deactivated20]

[ID: A tweet by @/joblessthursday that says, "u guys think death is the worst thing to happen to a fictional character. the worst thing is actually becoming a cop after a timeskip." Then, in a reply to the original tweet, the original poster adds, "'you would rather someone die than become a cop?' what is difficult to understand here." End ID]

[sawasawako-archived]

thinking about how orpheus turning to look back at eurydice isn’t a sign of mortal frailness but a sign of love

[meduseld]

“Eurydice, dying now a second time, uttered no complaint against her husband. What was there to complain of, but that she had been loved?” ― Ovid, Metamorphoses

[dean-winchesters-clit]

This is true no matter the version you're reading.

1. Eurydice trips and Orpheus turns to help her because he loves her.

2. Orpheus cannot hear Eurydice behind him, and fearing that he's been tricked, turns to make sure she's there.

3. Orpheus makes it out of the Underworld, and so full of love and excitement to be with Eurydice, turns to embrace her, forgetting that they both need to be out of the Underworld.

No matter what happens in the story, Orpheus loses Eurydice because his love for her compels him to look.

[wildefluorescent]

Orpheus, I can forgive you, then, There’s not a soul alive who wouldn’t have looked back

The Descent, by Tyler King

[princesssarisa]

Don’t forget Gluck’s opera, where Eurydice doesn’t know Orpheus is forbidden to look back, Orpheus is also forbidden to tell her, she assumes he must not love her anymore, and Orpheus finally looks back to reassure her of his love because he can’t bear her anguish.

In that version in particular, but possibly in all retellings, a part of us wants Orpheus to look back, because his failure proves his love.

[commandtower-solring-go]

The tiktok cult is gonna be the new dashcon

[commandtower-solring-go]

YOU DON'T GET COYOTE TIME ON THE FUTURE, ELLA!!

[zombieella]

‘from our lips to gods ears’ feels like more like a threat these days

[eijiroukiriot]

this is the funniest tweet i’ve seen in months bye

[bigratbastard]

[fxr-yxur-amusement]

[chaos-storm]

[aaawunder]

[nomuru2d]

these are all the geek equivalents of Lovecraft’s Cat’s Name

[official-lucifers-child]

his cats name couldn’t be that bad!!!! it’s a cat, what’s the worst name?

[official-lucifers-child]

i am wrong, what the fuck

[mjalti]

not to be dramatic but life is feeling a lot like that time Edward broke up with Bella in twilight and Stephenie made all the chapters during the break up empty pages with just “September.” “October.” “November.” written at the top

[normal-horoscopes]

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: Get ready Aries, you’re about to invent tetanus for white women.

Taurus: The stars and I are so, so sorry. You will never be the world’s largest rodent.

Gemini: Your naturally chipper demeanor and vulnerability to poison will combine to create an afternoon you’ll never forget.

Cancer: See, you say you’re fine but it would be accurate to describe you as a haunted Russian Nesting Doll of anxiety.

Leo: Whoops! Looks like the ancient deity trapped in the arctic ice shelf has escaped! Better light a fire!

Virgo: The stage magician you made fun of at the town fair back in 2004 will finally come back for revenge. Keep away from decks of playing cards.

Libra: Just because you could saw your hands off to prevent yourself from sinning, that doesn’t mean you should. There is probably a simpler solution here.

Scorpio: Prepare to experience terraforming as no human ever has before.

Ophiuchus: The KGB have formed a file on you which is weird because the KGB dissolved in 1991.

Sagittarius: Today your fortune is baring slightly to the left. Take your destiny to the shop and get it realigned.

Capricorn: Its time to relish your personal ability to eat drywall. Don’t actually eat drywall, just revel in the possibility.

Aquarius: Flattery will get you nearly everywhere. For the places it can’t get you, that what the gun is for.

Pisces: There is a tendency to find the relationship you want the moment you make peace with not wanting a relationship. This is because god hates us.

[katiebishop]

[texnessa]

“When I was a student at Cambridge I remember an anthropology professor holding up a picture of a bone with 28 incisions carved in it. ‘This is often considered to be man’s first attempt at a calendar’ she explained. She paused as we dutifully wrote this down. ‘My question to you is this – what man needs to mark 28 days? I would suggest to you that this is woman’s first attempt at a calendar.’ It was a moment that changed my life. In that second I stopped to question almost everything I had been taught about the past. How often had I overlooked women’s contributions?” ― Sandi Toksvig