What is validation, anyway?

Validate. Vibe. Revive.

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

Soulmates

Sometimes we connect with people who are on different paths in life than us. We get denied access to the brains of those people and it hurts because it seemed like something meant to happen. In my experiences I’ve learned that what’s meant to be will truly be. We like to use timing as an excuse but there never really is a right time for a soulmate. The people who were meant to grow with you, will. Those that are meant to grow away from you, will. It is not in our hands. What we do have control over, though, is how we treat the people who stay. The ones who never let time take away a connection.

The world is buzzing about bullying and yeah, there’s a problem, people are mean but has there ever been a world where everyone was nice to everyone? The people who are not for you are just not for you. It’s as simple as that. Pay no mind to the people who are dragging you beneath your full potential .We choose who we shine lights on, we choose where our attention is and we choose our intentions. Sometimes situations don’t go the intended way but if the outcome was meant to be good, was it really that bad? So the connection was lost and you never meant to hurt that person, life goes on. You can cause a scene, live in stress, or you can accept that it wasn’t meant to be and carry on. Shine the light on the people who make you happy and want a genuine lasting relationship with you whether it be a friend or lover and leave the others in the past. You may have to see them again, sure, but who controls the way you present yourself? You. Don’t compromise the way you feel about yourself. Keep the peace for you and those you live in it with.

The younger me would have rolled her eyes at that.

I’m just rambling now, venting out some things I want to say out loud. Here I am, watching Hercules by myself. Content with everything in my life. Confident in the way I project myself. Sharing my thought with people who don’t care, or do, they read it either way. The ones who feel it feel it and that’s comforting. Soulmates. People who’s souls match. How are we ever to find them if we never show anyone our own.

-A

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

Taking innocent lives.

Waking up this morning I got myself ready for work as my sweet innocent 4 year old got himself ready for preschool. It was a normal day. Same routine. Same morning rush. Once we got to his school, I signed him in and followed him to the restroom so he can wash the germs off of his tiny hands before going to class and having breakfast with his classmates. I gave him a million smooches and told him how handsome he looked and how precious he was. I squeezed him tight and told him I would be back soon to pick him up. Once I got to work (15 minutes after walking out of my child’s school) I received a terrifying phone call from the school district informing me (and all other parents) that every school was on lockdown do to an incident at a nearby high school... first thought... What happened? ... second thought... i hope everyone is okay... third thought... MY SON.

A moment later I leaned from fellow employees that it was an active shooting and students were shot and killed. The rumors started to flow rapidly. Phone calls were coming in and calls were being made. All I could think about was the fact that children were dead. My heart was broken. People were already posting rumors on social media saying shooters were on the loose and not in custody. My heart was not only BROKEN but my fear and sadness overpowered my strength for a moment. My heart cried because I couldn’t fathom the thought of my TINY 4 year old being apart of such a horrific and terrifying incident. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes praying that he was not outdoors playing when this happened. PLEASE keep whoever is doing this AWAY from my child and his school. Please stop whoever is doing this before more children get hurt. PLEASE stop before anyone else gets hurt. What is wrong with people?! Why innocent children?!

When it came time to pick up my son, I raced through town with nothing more than anxiety and happiness to know that he would be with me in less than 5 minutes and safe in my arms. I have never in my life felt so emotional and terrified and happy at the same time. My heart goes out to the parents who lost their children in this shooting today. Hold your babies close and prove your love to them and for them every. single. day. because you never know when it will be the last time you see them. Tragedies like this are happening every day and I’m completely disgusted with the world. These children do not deserve to grow up in fear of their life when being sent off to what is supposed to be the safest place for them to go, grow, and learn. I do not understand how any human can take the life or lives of another... let alone the life of a child. I don’t know the story behind why this incident took place but I do know that the children who lost their lives DID NOT deserve this. I’m so sorry for this town/community. I couldn’t imagine being the parent receiving the horrid call that my child was involved/injured or killed in a school shooting. Today... my heart will swell with love and gratitude in hopes that it leaks and spreads to those hurting right now and forever. Today... I am forever grateful that my son will be coming home to me so I can hold him tight.

-T

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

These biffs have been buzzin’ since kindergarten ❤️ happy birthday biff. -T

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

SELF esteem.

SELF. Not his, ours, hers or their esteem. Mine. Myself. Me.

It took me a very long time to realize that my self esteem was low because I was caring too much about what the he’s and she’s and they’s thought about me.

I work with children. I see a lot of different kids from different home lives who act differently in different ways and now that I’ve seen this for so long I truly believe we gather our habits with self love and confidence from childhood. 

LET THAT SHIT GO.

So your parents worked all the time and didn’t hype you up. You weren’t the cool kid. You might have had a mullet or a bowl cut at some point in your life. OKAY. You don’t need a babysitter anymore and nobody’s schedule is more important than that of those you choose SO, make your agenda about surrounding yourself with the things that bring out the best in you.

Listen to the music that makes you feel sexy. Wear the overall’s your friend found for you at a yard sale. Dance like a goof ball until you’re dripping sweat. BE A GOOFBALL. Dream. Post pictures because YOU like them. Be excited for that new movie you’ve been dying to watch. Geek out over that video game. Leave your heart on the basketball court, soccer field, track or in the stadium. Get the tattoo, or don’t. Eat a donut every morning. Drink your coffee with cream and sugar, or drink it black WHO CARES.

Self esteem, self love, self confidence. DO IT FOR YOURSELF.

Everyone who knows me, knows I love myself so much it comes off as cocky at times. I dress a little odd to the outside viewer but to ME, I dress fab. I wear my hair however I want. I don’t fit in to my friend group appearance wise. I wear a lot of black but my soul is turning into this shade of pretty pink. It’s like I finally figured out that when you love who you are regardless of what other people see, NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.

PSA: If you’re a serial murderer or creepy stalker I am not saying you should continue this behavior because you love what you are… seek help.

As for the rest of you, I know what you’re thinking. “It’s not that easy”

Except it is. IT IS EASY. You need a reminder of who you are? Ask yourself. You don’t  know who you are? ENJOY THE JOURNEY. Freak it all the way up.

EVERYONE is going to have bad days. I’m literally crying as I type this, trying to figure out why some of the things happening in my life are happening to me and what I did to deserve being overlooked by others so often BUT, after I’m done crying, I’m going to be just as fine as I was before I started. SO ARE YOU.

We need to stop treating tantrums as lifestyles. We all throw them. So does my five year old but that doesn’t mean she’s going to be sad she has a bedtime for the rest of her life. Maybe this doesn’t make sense to you, sometimes it doesn’t even make sense to me. (’: CREATE YOURSELF AS AN ART FORM YOU WOULD DISPLAY IN YOUR LIVING ROOM. If someone doesn’t like it ask yourself, what are they doing in my living room? That is all. You’re beautiful.

-A

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

Being Cheated On

It’s funny how it works. You find yourself at a time where you want to feel something but you won’t allow yourself to. Every time you start to think you’re finally ready, you aren’t. It is almost impossible for you to try again.

That’s how I feel.

Some people look at cheating as something that just happens. They think that it’s just something you go through when you’re young and the love of your life is going to stick it out, right? They’re going to deal with it and if they don’t; no big deal because the next person will.

It’s not such a bad life for the cheater. They don’t have to feel bad because they knew what they were doing. I didn’t know though. I didn’t know that I was making plans for the rest of my life with someone who was keeping their options open. I wasn’t preparing for an alternative. I wasn’t ready for this life. Thank you for giving it to me, though.

I think people forget that a relationship means caring about other people. They think that if someone doesn’t make them happy anymore they can just throw them away as if it’s nothing. .Why is ghosting even a thing? It’s funny to me because people openly, publicly display their acts of unfaithfulness and disrespect yet people still glorify them.

I’m not mad that I was cheated on, it didn’t feel good though. It doesn’t feel good that something that destroyed me, had no effect on the person who did it. Some of you are probably thinking I’m being a crybaby and need to get over it. It’s funny because it’s true. What age rendered me unable of expressing my feelings? When did it stop being okay to actually be sad when something bad happens to you? I don’t even hate him. I wish the best for him and hope he gets everything he deserves because to me, he was the best person in the world.

Being cheated on feels like being let down by your favorite person in the world. I may have gotten over the guy, but it doesn’t take away the constant fear of ever feeling like that again.

-A

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

What is Toxic?

So I realized that I am basically writing a diary in this blog and sharing my opinions about things with people even when they don’t ask. That’s so weird when I think about it like that but in a different perspective I enjoy making myself vulnerable by being honest and not knowing who cares to listen to my truths.

I have asked people who follow my other social media accounts to help inspire me on what to talk about and this week the topic chose was toxic friendships and relationships. Please keep in mind that everything I am about to say is all my own opinions and you are all entitled to believe differently. I’m not sure I am even qualified to give advice so please don’t take it. I’m just sharing my thoughts.

What is toxic? I think that everyone has their own poison.

None of us are the same and I think sometimes we forget that. We project our emotions as if they are permanent when they are actually temporary. When we say something sad, people call us sad as if it is a label. When we look happy, people assume that everything is alright. Whenever we look like we are in love, we are pictured as in love. We tend to be friends with the people who have the same labels as us.

We have cliques who call themselves the burnouts as if they all have no future because they openly hate themselves. We have groups of happy people who post a million happy photos on the internet but are spending too much time editing pictures for other people to see, that they neglect themselves. There are also some of us who do mundane things all day just to look normal but we can’t function properly without caffeine and cigarettes.

I believe the people who are toxic to us are the ones who put labels on us. If you are my friend I should be able to have a deep conversation with you about what I believe and who I am and who I want to be. My friends should feel like family. I should be able to be whoever I want to be and wear whatever I want to wear around someone that I consider a friend.

I believe that in a relationship I should be able to express my emotions. I need someone who is going to talk to me when I am depressed. I am a lot to handle and I need someone who is going to understand that when I feel something I really feel it. I need someone who is going to care about me and let me care about them without feeling annoying. I want a relationship with someone who looks at my skills not my ass. I want someone who loves the way I love my daughter and makes me feel validated without calling me crazy for needing a little attention. I need forward movement and progression. I need a motivator.I am in no way shape or form ready for something like this but I felt I needed to explain what I look for in a serious relationship in order for me to figure out what type of person is toxic for me.

I live in a town that is a toxic waste dump. Every person you meet here is afraid of new things and no one knows how to be nice to everyone just because it’s the right thing to do. Once you get past the cautious part of meeting someone and start to open up with them, you learn whether they are toxic for you or not. We have the power to bring positive energy to them but not give them all of ours. Anybody who makes you feel like you aren’t yourself or happy with who you are, is probably someone you should just smile back at but not invest too much time in. Just because someones toxic doesn’t mean you have to hate them. You’re allowed to let people grow without you. Maybe you guys will be better for each other later. The most toxic person to me, is myself because I don’t know how to release people who would grow better without me. Friendships and relationships are never forced or demanding, they just flow. Clean the litter out of your stream. You’re blocking your third eye.

-A

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

I love this blog

Thank you, glad you are enjoying it! Feel free to leave your input or suggest topics you are curious about!-T&A

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

What’s really disappointing is how much i see it. I watch my close friend cry as she speaks about her controlling boyfriend but then posts on twitter how wonderful he is. Watching these couples keep up their perfect relationship on Instagram but knowing them in person you see the dysfunction. How you see these people miserable together because they can’t bear to be alone. This fake idea that being in fake love is better than loving yourself & that finding the right partner is impossible. -D

I feel like until we understand it ourselves, we encourage our friends and when we get it before they do, we want to help but everyone has to figure it out themselves and we know that firsthand. I can’t count how many times people who were wiser than me tried to tell me to live but I was settling.

-A

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

Fake love.

I could not understand the expression of fake love. I could not comprehend why anyone would want to make someone feel so heavily for them, knowing that they were never planning on staying around. I didn’t think I would ever be able to grasp the reason behind fake love, but I do know what real love isn’t. I can not speak for everyone, but here’s my version of the truth behind it.

Everyone hears of love, and sees love differently as a child. There are broken homes and whole homes. There are whole homes that feel broken, and broken homes that feel whole. I don’t think that a solid parental marriage makes a house a home. I am convinced it is love. The families that have to hide from the public because they are so messy that they can’t even understand it, they’re lacking love. The families that support each other and get together, happily, from all over the country, they have love.

I’m not saying any family is more rewarding than the other because some of the greatest people come from families where love wasn’t surrounding them at all times. They figured it out by themselves and that’s just something beautiful in itself.

I’m not an expert but through my experiences I now believe that love does not just happen on a first date. Love isn’t found in a person who helps you financially, and starts building a home like life with you. Love isn’t something you acquire just because you’ve spent so much of your time with someone that you’ve gotten used to them. To me love is the complete opposite. Someone you went on a first date with and felt curious enough to go one the second, and third; getting so comfortable and happy with who that person makes you, that you wouldn’t mind being that version of yourself for the rest of your life; spending not enough time together even if you’re with them every single day. Molding each other into better people every day than we were before. Picking up the slack when the other is struggling. Love is your forever outlet of negativity and intake of positivity.

I’m in no position to call myself a love expert, believe me, I have nothing figured out. However, I have been completely ripped apart by love. My misunderstandings of how I was supposed to be loved caused me to seek a feeling from people that weren’t capable of understanding my definition of it. Maybe it’s just finding the person who listens to music you could lay in bed to every night. Or the person who dances with you no matter how silly they look. Writing about this type of bond between two people seems ridiculous because I feel like we all just look for someone to stop life with, instead of start it. Some people really think that you’re supposed to be the person you were when you were 19, forever. Some of us honestly look in the mirror and can’t believe why anyone would love us at all.

Every past relationship I’ve been in was a disaster. That’s not to be taken as an insult to them personally but we just weren’t right together. That wasn’t love. That was always me getting comfortable with someone else, and stopping myself from growing, for them, even though they didn’t ask. Is having to stop yourself from growing as an individual just to keep your relationship alive a fair trade?

I guess what I’m getting at is that my definition of love, although it is dreamy, seems a lot nicer than anything I’ve tried to force in the past. I want to be with a man that I look at with intentions of growing old. I want to keep surprises alive. I want to raise children and watch them love the man I love even more than I do. I want to support someone in whatever they want to do. I want someone else’s wants to matter to me. I want my wants to matter to someone else. I want to express myself fully without fear of judgment. I never wanted any of these things until I loved myself. I was selling an unfinished version of me, and others do the same. Fake love, to me, is unfinished people, looking for someone to make them whole, when they have to do it themselves.

I’ve never not been angry at people who have hurt my heart until this moment. I’ve also never loved myself so unconditionally. I’ve needed this.

-A

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

My Monday was eventful...

😐

I bailed a cat out of jail and brought him home just to find out ($70 dollars and a stray cat later) that he is not our missing cat ‘Jesse’.

.... I only know this because I let “Jesse” out of the box and he instantly ran and hid and meowed like a priss. (The real Jesse meows like a cow)...

I obviously went back to work second guessing my decision to bring this cat home and when I came home from work the cat was M.I.A. I freaked. I seriously thought I bailed a cat out of prison just for him to flee and pull the same crap that got him locked up to begin with. 🤦🏼‍♀️

(We later found him behind a bed, thank god)

Needless to say. Do NOT be so desperate and gullible when you think you’ve found your missing animals at the shelter...

These stray cats will trick you into thinking they are yours until you get them home where they can jump ship and go party on the streets again. Lesson learned! It’s a waste of hope and you end up with the wrong cat every time. 🤷🏼‍♀️

To top it off, I bought this cat a new collar and tag with ALL of Jesses info on it. 😳

Can’t believe I got suckered into handing over my cats identity so easily.

-T

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

Too Empathetic?

You know that girl in the movie “Mean Girls” who stands up in front of the girls in the gym and begs for rainbow cakes and butterfly nonsense?

That is me.

I am the girl who sits back in my own little world, watching people suffer and go through traumatic things and my emotions overwhelm me. I literally cry real tears at other peoples despair. I used to feel weak about it. I used to feel so uncomfortable because I would try to fix everyone and they don’t want me to.

Why am I like this?

I feel broken hearted for the broken hearted. I feel weak for the weak. I feel helpless for the helpless and tired for the tired.

I forgive easily because I feel the guilt for the guilty.

What’s a girl like me, who wants to help someone,  to do for a person who doesn’t want to be helped?

How do you get rid of empathy? Should I even want to?

Is this what makes me “too much”.

It’s funny because when you say too much it usually means more than enough, but the too much that I feel is not enough.

HELP ME HELP YOU.

-A

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

Spiritual art 💚

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

Surrender.

“Something amazing happens when we surrender and just love. We melt into another world, a realm of power already within us. The world changes when we change. The world softens when we soften. The world loves us when we choose to love the world.”

- T

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

listen

you hear people louder and clearer, when you keep your mouth closed.

what kind of day would you have if you didn’t say one world, all day.

i think it would be peaceful and probably answer a lot of the questions i forget to ask when i’m talking.

-A

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

Inspiration.

This past week has been phenomenal. I️ chose to explore and reveal the darkest memory of my past. I️ needed it more than I️ could have ever imagined. Telling my truth and releasing the lump in my throat that has been choking me for years, was electrifying (to say the least). I️ ugly cried several times while writing it all down. I smiled at the remembrance of my mother and cried harder. I️ took multiple breaks from writing just to roll over and hug my peacefully sleeping child so I️ wouldn’t feel alone during the hard parts. Im SO glad I️ didn’t give up or stop. I️ spent my entire night ALLOWING myself to do what I’ve purposely avoided for so long. I allowed myself to remember those terrible and sad moments in my life that were holding me back from being ME. Doing this gave me a PEACE that I️ cannot begin to explain to you guys.. If you’re suffering from a memory, regret, insecurity... etc. Please, LET IT OUT. Express yourself! I can promise that you will never find yourself in a happier place. A happy moment that will last a lifetime.

I realize now, that that time in my life has been slowly but surely DROWNING any chance at moving on and being completely and fully happy with who I️ am. Who I️ love. My life is finally MY life again. I’m not living for other people. I’m not living in regret or grief. I’ve learned that being in tune with my own self was a mandatory self healing requirement. I️ was so lost before revealing that part of me and my life for you all to see (or read). I️ finally feel like the luckiest girl alive. My friends are beautiful and supportive. My husband is BEYOND everything I️ never knew I️ needed until now. I didn’t realize how ‘far away’ I️ had let myself drift from everyone important in my life. I️ was so blinded and NUMB.

So thank you. ALL OF YOU. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for allowing me to walk this path openinly and freely. Thank you for everything.

I️ can finally say I️ did SOMETHING of high importance even if it meant nothing to anyone but myself. I️ hope my new found light reflects on all of you to help you and guide you through anything dark that you might be going through or have ever been through.

I’m seriously happier than I’ve EVER been and it all began here. Who would have thought...

- T

[thebiffbuzz-blog]

10 Things That Weaken the Life Giving Energy

So I started my Reiki 1 book today and I found this interesting and wanted to share it.

Ten Things That Weaken the Life Giving Energy

Too much alcohol (I have been guilty of this)

A poor diet (Who me? Never…)

A lack of exercise (hahahahaha…….)

Drugs

Tobacco (this is by far the hardest battle for me)

Negative habits (gossiping, passing judgment, skipping the gym)

Stress (my entire existence)

Poor breathing (how exactly does one breathe poorly?)

A lack of sleep and rest (Do not, I REPEAT, DO NOT, wake me up when I am snoozing)

Negative psychic activity

What is your take on these life giving energy sabotagers? Do any of these things lie in the center of the pit in your chest? Constricting your ability to be great and life without fear of failure? Tell me about it.

-A