a friend of mine is a science educator. not a classroom teacher - he does the kind of programs you see in museums, fun experiments with lasers and dry ice and shit.
yesterday, a young girl asked him why he was allowed to pour liquid nitrogen all over his own arm but he didnāt want her doing it. I braced myself for some dumb āwell Iām an adult so Iām allowedā non-answer, but instead he surprised me by giving some of the best science (and life) advice I think you can give a young person:
āwell, itās one of those rules designed to keep you safe. and following the rules really can help you stay safe, but theyāre not perfect. sometimes, usually because theyāre too simple, the rules let you do things that arenāt safe, or donāt let you do things that are safe if you know how to do them. one of the reasons Iām good at what I do as a scientist is I try to understand how things work so I can figure out my own rules for keeping myself safe. and sometimes my rules are little more complicated than what I might hear from other people, but they work better for me. like, I let myself play with liquid nitrogen, but only in really specific ways that Iāve spent time practicing. you should follow the rules youāre given at first, but if you take the time to understand how things work, maybe you can make your own, better rules.ā
I loved this response. itās a great encapsulation of two really important things I think people need to learn and re-learn all the time: on the one hand, listen to genuine authority figures; when someone knows more than you about a subject, donāt treat their expertise as ājust another opinionā and act like your ignorance is just as good as their knowledge. but on the other hand, donāt obey anything or anyone blindly. recognize that rules and systems and established ideas are never perfect. question things, educate yourself, question things more.
and then, of course, a parent had to butt in and spoil this wonderful lesson by saying:
ābut not the rules mom comes up with!ā
everyone in the room laughed. except me. I gave her a death glare Iām pretty sure she didnāt notice.
because no. no. your rules are not above reproach if youāre a parent. the thing about the dictates of genuine authority figures - people who deserve to have power, and to have their positions respected - is that they are open to question. genuine authority figures are accountable. governments can be petitioned and protested and recalled. doctors must respect patientsā right to a second opinion. journalists have jobs terminated and credentials revoked if they fail to meet standards of integrity and diligence. scientists, to bring us back full circle, spend their entire careers trying to disprove their own hypotheses! you know who insists on being treated as infallible? megalomaniacal dictators, thatās who. oh, and parents.
Iām beyond sick and tired of this āmy house my rules, this family is not a democracy, I want my child to think critically and stand up for themselves except to me ha haā bullshit. my friend gave this kid the kind of advice that doesnāt just help people become good scientists - if enough people adopt the mentality he put forth to that girl, thatās the kind of advice that helps societies value knowledge and resist totalitarianism. and her mother shut it down because, what, she didnāt want to deal with the inconvenience of having someone question her edicts about whose job it is to wash the dishes on Mondays?
we already know youāre more likely to be a Trump supporter if youāre an authoritarian parent - and that this is a stronger predictor of your views on the current president than age, religiosity, gender, or race. Iāll say this another way in case you didnāt catch the full meaning: people who believe in the absolute, unquestionable authority of parents are more than two and a half times as likely to support Trump as people who donāt, and thatās just among Republicans. we canāt afford to treat the oppressive treatment of children or the injustice of ageist power structures in our society as a sideshow issue any longer. the mentality that parents should be treated by their children as beyond reproach and above dispute is a social cancer that has metastasized into the man currently trying to destroy the foundations of democracy in this country.
in short: parents, get the hell over yourselves before you get us all killed. and kids, learn as much as you can, and then make your own rules.
