down the devils road

mcr 🖤 number one lestat groupie 🖤 hannigram enjoyer 🖤 aftg 🖤 |-/

[todomodo1976]

[hannigramislife]

*7 yo Tim dressed as Robin for Halloween going trick or treating and knocking on Wayne Manor*

Bruce: And who might you be?

Tim: I'm Robin! The Boy Wonder!

Bruce: Wow! The Boy Wonder deserves two pieces of candy, don't you think?

Tim, hugging him: Thanks, Batman! You're the best, I love you!

Bruce: ...

Bruce: Here, you can have all the candy.

*Bruce walks inside*

Bruce: Alfred, we need more candy.

Alfred: Pardon me, sir, but weren't there only about 4 kids to have come by?

Bruce: Yes, I know, but one of them was dressed as Robin and he said he loved me, so I gave him everything.

[mkarchin713]

Idea.

Bruce wasn’t dressed as Batman.

He does not realize this detail until the next morning.

[hypersensationalism]

how did it take this long for a sane person to enter hollywood

[one-time-i-dreamt]

“She was married to Keith Urban and had to listen to him sing live” 🫢

[evernightterrae]

[snoopyzuku]

0 exaggeration this is what happened

[everfaye]

I’ve actually been fucking your son for 10 years. Thank you for pasta

[beybuniki]

tgchk for eishiariyo on twt!

[beybuniki]

and happy bday ochako!!!!

[beybuniki]

the “this doesn’t mean anything” to “let’s have yaoi babies” pipeline

[harborfreight]

sickos hahaha yes

[theblackparadeisdead]

My little brother got a copy of the art of war by sun tzu for Christmas and I'll never know peace again

[theblackparadeisdead]

He flipped it open and said "let me read you the introduction: (record scratch) Yep, that's me. I bet you're wondering how I ended up in this situation-"

[theblackparadeisdead]

He keeps opening it and pretending to read quotes that are definitely not from the art of war he just hit me with "was that the bite of '87??? Sun Tzu said that."

[theblackparadeisdead]

"Road work ahead? Uh yeah, sure hope it does. Sun Tzu said that."

"If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down. If it's blue, I don't know what to do. Sun Tzu said that."

"There's 104 days of summer vacation and school comes along just to end it. Sun Tzu said that."

"When i was a young boy my father took me into the city to see a marching band. Sun Tzu said that."

All day.

[radawaycuntt]

Well let me ask you this: if we were two little green aliens would we touch antennas yes or no

[amazoogle]

if tumblr shuts down you can find me on tumblr. ill still be here. they cant make me leave

[were--ralph]

Set off the Weirdo Alarm at work again and now im weird its so over

[were--ralph]

I was eating a plain baguette and a guy asked me "why are you just eating plain bread" and i was like "idk ive just been craving bread" then, without thinking I said "im probably just pregnant again" which prompted complete silence from the break room followed by the entire break room (only 7 people bc we work overnight) asking me "what do you mean again?" Among just general wtf's And ending up with people asking me if I was transsexual or if I have a vagina and after denying everything it got kind of Serious and people were getting mad (mostly at each other?) And the conversation devolved into transphobic conversations so I left and now im pretty sure there will be rumors about me being a weird gay guy or trans by tomorrow

[were--ralph]

Basically straight people don't want to hear about mpreg and I think its unreasonable

[threedollarsdotcom]

gets corrupted and unsaveable like a text file

[homunculus-argument]

Between the nothingburger and the everything bagel, there is the somewhat sandwich.

[twinkhole-destroyer]

wish you could smoke water. I would be hydrated af

[inconsistent-rodent]

It’s called steam

[twinkhole-destroyer]

they should make a healthy bong

[goorehaus]

and cigarettes that give u vitamins n hrt

[tooquirkytolose]

‘The Magic of Jingle Sleigh Heights’

Or: Hallmark Christmas movie turned horror lol