Gotham’s Most Tired Civilian

Do I want to deal with these idiot villains and somehow more idiot “heroes” and vigilantes? No. And yet! (Although, I do love my job, so it’s alright I guess.)

[thefateofgotham]

Hi Gotham! It’s your favorite resident unofficial vigilante therapist here, with a blog to recount the absurdities I run into on a daily basis :D

Name: Tamara | Gotham’s Most Tired Civilian | Resident Vigilante Therapist

Pronouns: she/her

Age: 20-25 (young adult)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Asks and interactions welcome! Encouraged, in fact! Everyone needs therapy around here, so I’m more than happy to take on new clients. This is a fairly new blog, so do whatever and we can have fun. Or more likely, laugh and sigh at the idiocy of Gotham’s most powerful. Seriously, look at our saviors dawg, we are not being saved X.X

Mod here! Quick facts:

This is a rp blog, but I’ll also just post random shit. I’m mostly looking for interaction and absurdity lol, so whether you have a Gotham related rp blog or not, feel free to join in the fun!

Although my character is an adult, I am still 16 so let’s keep it SFW, ok? That said, shipping is allowed and encouraged for the chaos!

Also, my main blog is actually @magicallyamaniac so that’s why you’ll see liking and following!

Tag plans:

#TamaraCantTakeIt : character interaction absurdity

#TamaraTherapy : Answering asks and asking for trouble

#VigilanteShitButWhy : art and hcs of our faves (including reblogs)

#TamaraYells : PSAs

And probably more to come!

[theoriginal-robin-ofgotham]

Hey baby bat, your siblings are in therapy. Are you going too? You should (to scout). Don’t you think?

I don’t need therapy. I’m completely fine.

[thefateofgotham]

Our next session is next week. Whether you’re “fine” or not.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

Since when do you do fucking therapy?? What happened to “therapists suck”??

THEY DO SUCK OKAY but Bernard wanted me to try it and I love him so I did

And Tamara’s not that bad

[thefateofgotham]

Truly a testament for therapy if I ever saw one.

*raises cup of tea in mock salute* Not that bad. *faintly amused smile*

[the-spleenless-wonder]

It was bearable

[thefateofgotham]

:)

[the-spleenless-wonder]

You’re cruel but thank you

[thefateofgotham]

Aww, that’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me. You’re welcome, come back soon.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

Since when do you do fucking therapy?? What happened to “therapists suck”??

THEY DO SUCK OKAY but Bernard wanted me to try it and I love him so I did

And Tamara’s not that bad

[thefateofgotham]

Truly a testament for therapy if I ever saw one.

*raises cup of tea in mock salute* Not that bad. *faintly amused smile*

[the-spleenless-wonder]

It was bearable

[thefateofgotham]

:)

[the-spleenless-wonder]

Since when do you do fucking therapy?? What happened to “therapists suck”??

THEY DO SUCK OKAY but Bernard wanted me to try it and I love him so I did

And Tamara’s not that bad

[thefateofgotham]

Truly a testament for therapy if I ever saw one.

*raises cup of tea in mock salute* Not that bad. *faintly amused smile*

[thefateofgotham]

"Uhm....so do you have a client right now or?...."

Cue akward feet shuffle.

@gothamslocalstraycat

I do not :)

Have a cookie and take a seat.

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"Um..cool"

[thefateofgotham]

*tuts* Put the vase down.

So how are you today, kitty? And what should I call you- no put that down too.

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"....I dunno....you can call me Salem also.."

He slid the vase away from him slowly.

[thefateofgotham]

Hello Salem. *gently pushes the vase back to its corner*

Do you know why we’re here today? Because I get the feeling you have something in particular you want to talk about.

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"...no not really...I just didn't want you to tell my mom I've been ditching..."

[thefateofgotham]

Smart kitty. Well then, we can start like normal. What do you like to do, Salem? Other than stealing, of course.

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"Um...I like listening to music"

[thefateofgotham]

Hmm. How often do you leave your house for something other than stealing?

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"Um, well, Selina sometimes and I go out and do stuff.. Sometimes it's Galas I leave for, like school also...or work.

[thefateofgotham]

Do “stuff” and “work” also translate to versions of stealing? I meant what you do for fun outside of that.

Your mother some people believe just doing that all the time is perfectly fine, but variety is important. Especially for children.

I can suggest some hobbies you might like if you want?

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"I'm not a child...I have a paying job outside my...nighttime one. I just alternate between the two...a lot...and then I do whatever public thing Selina needs with her...and then when I'm not doing any of that it's listening to music..."

[thefateofgotham]

I would like to reiterate, I asked “what do you do for fun?”

The “fun” is key there.

Work can be enjoyable, but tell me something you do just for sheer joy. Hmm?

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"...I don't know. I think everything I like I kinda have turned it into a benefit of some kind:

[thefateofgotham]

Hm. Ok, then I have an assignment for you. A prescription, if you will.

Go do something stupid (and legal, please). Something that has no measurable benefit other than joy. That’s it.

Find a new hobby, make a new friend, or go exploring. Just do something.

Then come back and tell me how it feels.

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"....you said you had some suggestions?"

[thefateofgotham]

I did. For more stationary activities, I suggest crochet, crafts, or collecting (cards, games, etc). For more physical activities, try out sports like running, biking, and golf.

Or, just to start, find a friend and go exploring. Just anything, really.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

I don’t need therapy what are you talking about it’s completely normal to still be mourning people who aren’t gone anymore

[bernard-dowd-not-down]

I'm pretty sure that's very much not normal. Therapy isn't that bad

[the-spleenless-wonder]

It’s the normalest actually. Therapy absolutely IS that bad, tried it once, never again.

You’re supposed to be on my side Bern

[bernard-dowd-not-down]

Maybe I just had luck with the my ex therapist.

Anyway, I am on your side and I'll support your decisions

[the-spleenless-wonder]

Thank you

…I’ll consider it. For you

[bernard-dowd-not-down]

Thank you for considering it :]

[the-spleenless-wonder]

Yeah, yeah, you’re lucky I love you

[thefateofgotham]

Thanks for that, @bernard-dowd-not-down

You are also welcome to come for your own session(s) anytime.

Sharing is healing :)

[thefateofgotham]

Hey so uh. I really don’t wanna be doing this but. My boyfriend told me to at least attempt therapy and I love him so..I’m trying. Are you busy?

- @the-spleenless-wonder

*amused smirk* Hello Tim. Kon-el recommended me? I’m very proud.

Starting therapy is a big step, and a good sign of progress!

I’m always busy, but I definitely have time for you.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

The other boyfriend actually, but yeah.

So. I don’t. Really know how this goes? What do I..what do I do? Are there rules?

[thefateofgotham]

Ah, Bernard. That makes more sense. He’s smart, you should listen to him more often.

Rule number one of therapy: don’t kill the therapist.

Rule number two: there are no other rules.

That’s it.

So Tim, what do you think prompted your boyfriend to suggest therapy?

[the-spleenless-wonder]

I’m not allowed to kill anyone anyways, so I think I can do that.

Uhhhhmm [visibly cringing at the prospect of actually talking about his feelings] I..well there’s..this trend. In my life, I guess. Where people I love will, uh…die. And then they come back.

But I don’t know, it..it’s like my brain hasn’t registered that they’re back? Because I feel like I’m still mourning. Like I’m..stuck there. I mean I know the five stages of grief and all, but there’s not really a stage for ‘your dead boyfriend comes back to life all of a sudden’. And I don’t know how to..fix it.

[thefateofgotham]

Not killing is generally good, or so Batman says.

I can understand why experiencing losing numerous loved ones has taken a toll on you, it’s only normal. Whether they came back or not, you still lost them. The grief is a direct result of that.

People coming back to life is an unusual situation, yes, but the underlying emotions are not. You are allowed to mourn, and you have to accept that. Trying to force yourself to stop mourning just because the “problem” is “solved” won’t help.

You have to let yourself go through every stage and let yourself be weak and vulnerable with those you love so you can then begin to heal. There isn’t really anything to fix, these are things you need to feel.

The feelings suck, I will admit, but they are necessary. Pick one person to talk about first, and tell me how you feel.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

..Okay. That…I’m not gonna pretend that’s not scary [nervous laughter]

I mean, when the topic came up, I was thinking about Kon. I guess I could start there.

When he died, I…it was just a breaking point, you know? I mean it was right in the middle of all the..other stuff. I mean I’m sure you heard, I kind of went off the fucking rails. I just wanted him back—I wanted to..see him, at least, one more time.

But I got him back, that’s the thing. I have him. Except, y’know, it wasn’t even me that got him back. I tried everything, and it still wasn’t…

Ahem. And. I know you’re saying I need to let myself feel the grief, and stuff, but that’s…kind of hard to do when the person you’re grieving practically lives in your apartment. I mean, if I cry about it, what am I supposed to tell him? I can’t put my grief on his shoulders like that.

[thefateofgotham]

It is scary. I’m sorry, but it is. A lot. But that’s ok, sometimes you have to be scared.

Loosing someone you care about can elicit extreme reactions no matter the situation. The fact that you can look back and understand that reaction already means you’re getting better.

That extreme reaction, and the pent up emotions that caused it, don’t just go away. He’s back, yes. He’s safe, sure. But you’re still feeling.

You did what you could. And then some. Take a second and think about that. Stop thinking about in the context of “I didn’t bring him back” and think instead, for a minute, “I tried.” Because you did. You tried so hard, and did so much.

That’s what you’re feeling. When you put so much effort into something, it makes perfect sense for it to have an effect on you. That effect, again, doesn’t just go away.

You said he’s living with you, right? Have you taken time to just, think about that? Look at him, be close to him, and just relax. Take a second to breathe and forget about everything else and just… sit with him. Let yourself go through the phases while he’s there in front of you. In arm’s reach. I’m sure he’ll be fine, because he loves you.

It will feel weird, nothing’s gonna fix that. But you have him now. Let it be weird for a bit, so it can become better. You’re not “putting grief on his shoulders,” you’re recovering from a traumatic experience. You’re allowed to do that. Talk to him about it, and I promise he’ll understand. Ok?

[the-spleenless-wonder]

I know I tried, as hard as I could, that’s the problem. I did my absolute best, pushed myself to my limit, and it still wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough. Except for Bruce, I didn’t bring any of them back. I couldn’t stop them from dying and I couldn’t be the one to bring them back, either, it—things are just happening around me, and I have no say in any of it, and it…I don’t even know how to name how it makes me feel except for bad.

How can you be so sure he’ll understand? And I still—he’s the one who died, he has his own trauma to work through, I don’t need to make his death all about me.

[thefateofgotham]

Hey, Tim? Tim, listen for a second. You tried.

You were tired and battered and bruised and broken, but you tried.

You pushed yourself to your limit, but you tried.

It doesn’t really matter that it wasn’t you that finally brought them back, you fucking tried.

You don’t get a say in what the universe does. You don’t get a say in who lives or dies. You can try, but you don’t. You know what you do get a say in? What you do about it. And you know what you did? You tried.

That, more than anything else, makes you a part of their return. Think about what might have happened in nobody tried. Wait, you won’t ever have to, because you tried.

It’s ok to feel bad. It’s ok to feel guilt. It’s a consequence of the fact that you gave it your all. But Tim, you did help them. You did bring them back, in a way. They’re back now. And you tried.

Have you ever heard the phrase “suffering shared is suffering halved”? It’s one of the most painful things to do, but it’s true. Both you and Kon have trauma, yes, but it’ll be so much easier to deal with if you can work through it together. Trying to hold back and be “good” for each other will only end up making both of you feel worse.

You’re not making his death about you. You’re just not.

Tim? You’re not.

Maybe it’s not ok right now, but it can -and will- be eventually. So talk to him. Hold him. Let him hold you. He died. You tried to bring him back. Now you’re both here. Let the tears burn your eyes so that when they stop, you can say you cried too. And then, slowly but surely, you’ll be fine. Together.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

I know I don’t get a say, Tamara, it just—it feels wrong. That there’s nothing I can do. I fix things, that’s what I do, that’s my job.

…I guess maybe it made a little tiny bit of a difference. Maybe they possibly would’ve been sadder if they came back and nobody tried to get them back. Maybe.

I’m still scared. How do I even…bring it up to him? How do you talk about that?

[thefateofgotham]

Darling, you can’t fix everything. I know you know this, but it’s a good reminder.

Death and loss are deep, emotional experiences. They feel wrong and bad and horrible and every other negative emotion you can possibly name. Nothing either of us can do will ever change that.

I wish you didn’t have to go through these things, but you did. Never forget that you’ve come out on the other side despite it all. Alive. That in itself is an accomplishment you should give yourself more credit for.

I’m going to say this, and I know you’ll hate it, but you have to hear it: It is not your job to fix things. At least, not things like this. It can’t be, Tim. Because that’s not possible.

And you did make a difference. It’s not a “maybe,” it’s a fact. Please believe that. If nothing else, believe me when I say that.

The conversation will be difficult and awkward, but the best way to have it is usually the most straightforward. Just do it. Some variation of “Hey Kon, I need to talk about this. Just so we can both get it off our chests.” will do, and you’ll both feel better afterwords.

You can’t fix everything, but you don’t need to. Just feel, Tim. It’ll be alright.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

You’re an annoyingly good therapist.

…Still feels like my job. But okay.

I guess I can try talking to Kon. It might be a complete disaster, but the alternative might be even worse.

I don’t…think I can talk about myself anymore today. It’s a lot. Maybe I’ll come back, though. Thanks Tamara.

[thefateofgotham]

Lucky for us, that’s my job :)

It can feel like fixing is yours, but it’s not. You’ll understand that eventually.

Good luck, and thanks for coming today Tim. I look forward to seeing you again soon.

*waves him off with a soft smile*

[thefateofgotham]

Hey so uh. I really don’t wanna be doing this but. My boyfriend told me to at least attempt therapy and I love him so..I’m trying. Are you busy?

- @the-spleenless-wonder

*amused smirk* Hello Tim. Kon-el recommended me? I’m very proud.

Starting therapy is a big step, and a good sign of progress!

I’m always busy, but I definitely have time for you.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

The other boyfriend actually, but yeah.

So. I don’t. Really know how this goes? What do I..what do I do? Are there rules?

[thefateofgotham]

Ah, Bernard. That makes more sense. He’s smart, you should listen to him more often.

Rule number one of therapy: don’t kill the therapist.

Rule number two: there are no other rules.

That’s it.

So Tim, what do you think prompted your boyfriend to suggest therapy?

[the-spleenless-wonder]

I’m not allowed to kill anyone anyways, so I think I can do that.

Uhhhhmm [visibly cringing at the prospect of actually talking about his feelings] I..well there’s..this trend. In my life, I guess. Where people I love will, uh…die. And then they come back.

But I don’t know, it..it’s like my brain hasn’t registered that they’re back? Because I feel like I’m still mourning. Like I’m..stuck there. I mean I know the five stages of grief and all, but there’s not really a stage for ‘your dead boyfriend comes back to life all of a sudden’. And I don’t know how to..fix it.

[thefateofgotham]

Not killing is generally good, or so Batman says.

I can understand why experiencing losing numerous loved ones has taken a toll on you, it’s only normal. Whether they came back or not, you still lost them. The grief is a direct result of that.

People coming back to life is an unusual situation, yes, but the underlying emotions are not. You are allowed to mourn, and you have to accept that. Trying to force yourself to stop mourning just because the “problem” is “solved” won’t help.

You have to let yourself go through every stage and let yourself be weak and vulnerable with those you love so you can then begin to heal. There isn’t really anything to fix, these are things you need to feel.

The feelings suck, I will admit, but they are necessary. Pick one person to talk about first, and tell me how you feel.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

..Okay. That…I’m not gonna pretend that’s not scary [nervous laughter]

I mean, when the topic came up, I was thinking about Kon. I guess I could start there.

When he died, I…it was just a breaking point, you know? I mean it was right in the middle of all the..other stuff. I mean I’m sure you heard, I kind of went off the fucking rails. I just wanted him back—I wanted to..see him, at least, one more time.

But I got him back, that’s the thing. I have him. Except, y’know, it wasn’t even me that got him back. I tried everything, and it still wasn’t…

Ahem. And. I know you’re saying I need to let myself feel the grief, and stuff, but that’s…kind of hard to do when the person you’re grieving practically lives in your apartment. I mean, if I cry about it, what am I supposed to tell him? I can’t put my grief on his shoulders like that.

[thefateofgotham]

It is scary. I’m sorry, but it is. A lot. But that’s ok, sometimes you have to be scared.

Loosing someone you care about can elicit extreme reactions no matter the situation. The fact that you can look back and understand that reaction already means you’re getting better.

That extreme reaction, and the pent up emotions that caused it, don’t just go away. He’s back, yes. He’s safe, sure. But you’re still feeling.

You did what you could. And then some. Take a second and think about that. Stop thinking about in the context of “I didn’t bring him back” and think instead, for a minute, “I tried.” Because you did. You tried so hard, and did so much.

That’s what you’re feeling. When you put so much effort into something, it makes perfect sense for it to have an effect on you. That effect, again, doesn’t just go away.

You said he’s living with you, right? Have you taken time to just, think about that? Look at him, be close to him, and just relax. Take a second to breathe and forget about everything else and just… sit with him. Let yourself go through the phases while he’s there in front of you. In arm’s reach. I’m sure he’ll be fine, because he loves you.

It will feel weird, nothing’s gonna fix that. But you have him now. Let it be weird for a bit, so it can become better. You’re not “putting grief on his shoulders,” you’re recovering from a traumatic experience. You’re allowed to do that. Talk to him about it, and I promise he’ll understand. Ok?

[the-spleenless-wonder]

I know I tried, as hard as I could, that’s the problem. I did my absolute best, pushed myself to my limit, and it still wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough. Except for Bruce, I didn’t bring any of them back. I couldn’t stop them from dying and I couldn’t be the one to bring them back, either, it—things are just happening around me, and I have no say in any of it, and it…I don’t even know how to name how it makes me feel except for bad.

How can you be so sure he’ll understand? And I still—he’s the one who died, he has his own trauma to work through, I don’t need to make his death all about me.

[thefateofgotham]

Hey, Tim? Tim, listen for a second. You tried.

You were tired and battered and bruised and broken, but you tried.

You pushed yourself to your limit, but you tried.

It doesn’t really matter that it wasn’t you that finally brought them back, you fucking tried.

You don’t get a say in what the universe does. You don’t get a say in who lives or dies. You can try, but you don’t. You know what you do get a say in? What you do about it. And you know what you did? You tried.

That, more than anything else, makes you a part of their return. Think about what might have happened in nobody tried. Wait, you won’t ever have to, because you tried.

It’s ok to feel bad. It’s ok to feel guilt. It’s a consequence of the fact that you gave it your all. But Tim, you did help them. You did bring them back, in a way. They’re back now. And you tried.

Have you ever heard the phrase “suffering shared is suffering halved”? It’s one of the most painful things to do, but it’s true. Both you and Kon have trauma, yes, but it’ll be so much easier to deal with if you can work through it together. Trying to hold back and be “good” for each other will only end up making both of you feel worse.

You’re not making his death about you. You’re just not.

Tim? You’re not.

Maybe it’s not ok right now, but it can -and will- be eventually. So talk to him. Hold him. Let him hold you. He died. You tried to bring him back. Now you’re both here. Let the tears burn your eyes so that when they stop, you can say you cried too. And then, slowly but surely, you’ll be fine. Together.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

I know I don’t get a say, Tamara, it just—it feels wrong. That there’s nothing I can do. I fix things, that’s what I do, that’s my job.

…I guess maybe it made a little tiny bit of a difference. Maybe they possibly would’ve been sadder if they came back and nobody tried to get them back. Maybe.

I’m still scared. How do I even…bring it up to him? How do you talk about that?

[thefateofgotham]

Darling, you can’t fix everything. I know you know this, but it’s a good reminder.

Death and loss are deep, emotional experiences. They feel wrong and bad and horrible and every other negative emotion you can possibly name. Nothing either of us can do will ever change that.

I wish you didn’t have to go through these things, but you did. Never forget that you’ve come out on the other side despite it all. Alive. That in itself is an accomplishment you should give yourself more credit for.

I’m going to say this, and I know you’ll hate it, but you have to hear it: It is not your job to fix things. At least, not things like this. It can’t be, Tim. Because that’s not possible.

And you did make a difference. It’s not a “maybe,” it’s a fact. Please believe that. If nothing else, believe me when I say that.

The conversation will be difficult and awkward, but the best way to have it is usually the most straightforward. Just do it. Some variation of “Hey Kon, I need to talk about this. Just so we can both get it off our chests.” will do, and you’ll both feel better afterwords.

You can’t fix everything, but you don’t need to. Just feel, Tim. It’ll be alright.

[thefateofgotham]

"Uhm....so do you have a client right now or?...."

Cue akward feet shuffle.

@gothamslocalstraycat

I do not :)

Have a cookie and take a seat.

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"Um..cool"

[thefateofgotham]

*tuts* Put the vase down.

So how are you today, kitty? And what should I call you- no put that down too.

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"....I dunno....you can call me Salem also.."

He slid the vase away from him slowly.

[thefateofgotham]

Hello Salem. *gently pushes the vase back to its corner*

Do you know why we’re here today? Because I get the feeling you have something in particular you want to talk about.

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"...no not really...I just didn't want you to tell my mom I've been ditching..."

[thefateofgotham]

Smart kitty. Well then, we can start like normal. What do you like to do, Salem? Other than stealing, of course.

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"Um...I like listening to music"

[thefateofgotham]

Hmm. How often do you leave your house for something other than stealing?

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"Um, well, Selina sometimes and I go out and do stuff.. Sometimes it's Galas I leave for, like school also...or work.

[thefateofgotham]

Do “stuff” and “work” also translate to versions of stealing? I meant what you do for fun outside of that.

Your mother some people believe just doing that all the time is perfectly fine, but variety is important. Especially for children.

I can suggest some hobbies you might like if you want?

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"I'm not a child...I have a paying job outside my...nighttime one. I just alternate between the two...a lot...and then I do whatever public thing Selina needs with her...and then when I'm not doing any of that it's listening to music..."

[thefateofgotham]

I would like to reiterate, I asked “what do you do for fun?”

The “fun” is key there.

Work can be enjoyable, but tell me something you do just for sheer joy. Hmm?

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"...I don't know. I think everything I like I kinda have turned it into a benefit of some kind:

[thefateofgotham]

Hm. Ok, then I have an assignment for you. A prescription, if you will.

Go do something stupid (and legal, please). Something that has no measurable benefit other than joy. That’s it.

Find a new hobby, make a new friend, or go exploring. Just do something.

Then come back and tell me how it feels.

[batmanasks]

Batman, can I tell you a story? No? That’s too bad. I had to deal with it, so now so do you. I was having a nice day, you see, until I ran into a very sulky flash. You know what happened after that. *cough* his boyfriend Nightwing was ignoring him *cough* but then! Before NW could get there, the flash in all his infinite stupidity, decided alcohol was his best friend. Being the good person with far too many older sister instincts that I am, I followed him to the sleazy club he decided on. Right as I was trying to knock some sense into him, he started leaning toward and flirting(?) with some random civilian. Which is when, of course, Nightwing burst in and dragged the flash away with shouts resembling “I WASN’T IGNORING YOU” and “YOU CAN’T JUST FLIRT WITH CIVILIANS- OR ANYONE THAT’S NOT ME” and listen. Listen. I love them lots. But REALLY?? Anyway, all of this to say, get Alfred to give them couple’s therapy or something because otherwise I’m just going to bang their heads together next time. Ok? Ok thank you!

...

@supermans-fave-vigilante

[thefateofgotham]

Batman, you’re never going to believe this. Apparently, your son @supermans-fave-vigilante is being mature. He says he’s actually going to clearly communicate. Jury’s still out on whether he’ll manage it but hey! Progress!

I’m giving them therapy either way but I’d be more proud if they, you know, figured it out first.

[supermans-fave-vigilante]

WHY DOES EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP DRAMA AND

WHY DO YOU KEEP TELLING MY DAD!!!!

[thefateofgotham]

At least I didn’t tell him about the other thing. *shrug*

[thefateofgotham]

Hey so uh. I really don’t wanna be doing this but. My boyfriend told me to at least attempt therapy and I love him so..I’m trying. Are you busy?

- @the-spleenless-wonder

*amused smirk* Hello Tim. Kon-el recommended me? I’m very proud.

Starting therapy is a big step, and a good sign of progress!

I’m always busy, but I definitely have time for you.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

The other boyfriend actually, but yeah.

So. I don’t. Really know how this goes? What do I..what do I do? Are there rules?

[thefateofgotham]

Ah, Bernard. That makes more sense. He’s smart, you should listen to him more often.

Rule number one of therapy: don’t kill the therapist.

Rule number two: there are no other rules.

That’s it.

So Tim, what do you think prompted your boyfriend to suggest therapy?

[the-spleenless-wonder]

I’m not allowed to kill anyone anyways, so I think I can do that.

Uhhhhmm [visibly cringing at the prospect of actually talking about his feelings] I..well there’s..this trend. In my life, I guess. Where people I love will, uh…die. And then they come back.

But I don’t know, it..it’s like my brain hasn’t registered that they’re back? Because I feel like I’m still mourning. Like I’m..stuck there. I mean I know the five stages of grief and all, but there’s not really a stage for ‘your dead boyfriend comes back to life all of a sudden’. And I don’t know how to..fix it.

[thefateofgotham]

Not killing is generally good, or so Batman says.

I can understand why experiencing losing numerous loved ones has taken a toll on you, it’s only normal. Whether they came back or not, you still lost them. The grief is a direct result of that.

People coming back to life is an unusual situation, yes, but the underlying emotions are not. You are allowed to mourn, and you have to accept that. Trying to force yourself to stop mourning just because the “problem” is “solved” won’t help.

You have to let yourself go through every stage and let yourself be weak and vulnerable with those you love so you can then begin to heal. There isn’t really anything to fix, these are things you need to feel.

The feelings suck, I will admit, but they are necessary. Pick one person to talk about first, and tell me how you feel.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

..Okay. That…I’m not gonna pretend that’s not scary [nervous laughter]

I mean, when the topic came up, I was thinking about Kon. I guess I could start there.

When he died, I…it was just a breaking point, you know? I mean it was right in the middle of all the..other stuff. I mean I’m sure you heard, I kind of went off the fucking rails. I just wanted him back—I wanted to..see him, at least, one more time.

But I got him back, that’s the thing. I have him. Except, y’know, it wasn’t even me that got him back. I tried everything, and it still wasn’t…

Ahem. And. I know you’re saying I need to let myself feel the grief, and stuff, but that’s…kind of hard to do when the person you’re grieving practically lives in your apartment. I mean, if I cry about it, what am I supposed to tell him? I can’t put my grief on his shoulders like that.

[thefateofgotham]

It is scary. I’m sorry, but it is. A lot. But that’s ok, sometimes you have to be scared.

Loosing someone you care about can elicit extreme reactions no matter the situation. The fact that you can look back and understand that reaction already means you’re getting better.

That extreme reaction, and the pent up emotions that caused it, don’t just go away. He’s back, yes. He’s safe, sure. But you’re still feeling.

You did what you could. And then some. Take a second and think about that. Stop thinking about in the context of “I didn’t bring him back” and think instead, for a minute, “I tried.” Because you did. You tried so hard, and did so much.

That’s what you’re feeling. When you put so much effort into something, it makes perfect sense for it to have an effect on you. That effect, again, doesn’t just go away.

You said he’s living with you, right? Have you taken time to just, think about that? Look at him, be close to him, and just relax. Take a second to breathe and forget about everything else and just… sit with him. Let yourself go through the phases while he’s there in front of you. In arm’s reach. I’m sure he’ll be fine, because he loves you.

It will feel weird, nothing’s gonna fix that. But you have him now. Let it be weird for a bit, so it can become better. You’re not “putting grief on his shoulders,” you’re recovering from a traumatic experience. You’re allowed to do that. Talk to him about it, and I promise he’ll understand. Ok?

[the-spleenless-wonder]

I know I tried, as hard as I could, that’s the problem. I did my absolute best, pushed myself to my limit, and it still wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough. Except for Bruce, I didn’t bring any of them back. I couldn’t stop them from dying and I couldn’t be the one to bring them back, either, it—things are just happening around me, and I have no say in any of it, and it…I don’t even know how to name how it makes me feel except for bad.

How can you be so sure he’ll understand? And I still—he’s the one who died, he has his own trauma to work through, I don’t need to make his death all about me.

[thefateofgotham]

Hey, Tim? Tim, listen for a second. You tried.

You were tired and battered and bruised and broken, but you tried.

You pushed yourself to your limit, but you tried.

It doesn’t really matter that it wasn’t you that finally brought them back, you fucking tried.

You don’t get a say in what the universe does. You don’t get a say in who lives or dies. You can try, but you don’t. You know what you do get a say in? What you do about it. And you know what you did? You tried.

That, more than anything else, makes you a part of their return. Think about what might have happened in nobody tried. Wait, you won’t ever have to, because you tried.

It’s ok to feel bad. It’s ok to feel guilt. It’s a consequence of the fact that you gave it your all. But Tim, you did help them. You did bring them back, in a way. They’re back now. And you tried.

Have you ever heard the phrase “suffering shared is suffering halved”? It’s one of the most painful things to do, but it’s true. Both you and Kon have trauma, yes, but it’ll be so much easier to deal with if you can work through it together. Trying to hold back and be “good” for each other will only end up making both of you feel worse.

You’re not making his death about you. You’re just not.

Tim? You’re not.

Maybe it’s not ok right now, but it can -and will- be eventually. So talk to him. Hold him. Let him hold you. He died. You tried to bring him back. Now you’re both here. Let the tears burn your eyes so that when they stop, you can say you cried too. And then, slowly but surely, you’ll be fine. Together.

[thefateofgotham]

"Uhm....so do you have a client right now or?...."

Cue akward feet shuffle.

@gothamslocalstraycat

I do not :)

Have a cookie and take a seat.

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"Um..cool"

[thefateofgotham]

*tuts* Put the vase down.

So how are you today, kitty? And what should I call you- no put that down too.

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"....I dunno....you can call me Salem also.."

He slid the vase away from him slowly.

[thefateofgotham]

Hello Salem. *gently pushes the vase back to its corner*

Do you know why we’re here today? Because I get the feeling you have something in particular you want to talk about.

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"...no not really...I just didn't want you to tell my mom I've been ditching..."

[thefateofgotham]

Smart kitty. Well then, we can start like normal. What do you like to do, Salem? Other than stealing, of course.

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"Um...I like listening to music"

[thefateofgotham]

Hmm. How often do you leave your house for something other than stealing?

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"Um, well, Selina sometimes and I go out and do stuff.. Sometimes it's Galas I leave for, like school also...or work.

[thefateofgotham]

Do “stuff” and “work” also translate to versions of stealing? I meant what you do for fun outside of that.

Your mother some people believe just doing that all the time is perfectly fine, but variety is important. Especially for children.

I can suggest some hobbies you might like if you want?

[gothamslocalstraycat]

"I'm not a child...I have a paying job outside my...nighttime one. I just alternate between the two...a lot...and then I do whatever public thing Selina needs with her...and then when I'm not doing any of that it's listening to music..."

[thefateofgotham]

I would like to reiterate, I asked “what do you do for fun?”

The “fun” is key there.

Work can be enjoyable, but tell me something you do just for sheer joy. Hmm?

[thefateofgotham]

Hey so uh. I really don’t wanna be doing this but. My boyfriend told me to at least attempt therapy and I love him so..I’m trying. Are you busy?

- @the-spleenless-wonder

*amused smirk* Hello Tim. Kon-el recommended me? I’m very proud.

Starting therapy is a big step, and a good sign of progress!

I’m always busy, but I definitely have time for you.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

The other boyfriend actually, but yeah.

So. I don’t. Really know how this goes? What do I..what do I do? Are there rules?

[thefateofgotham]

Ah, Bernard. That makes more sense. He’s smart, you should listen to him more often.

Rule number one of therapy: don’t kill the therapist.

Rule number two: there are no other rules.

That’s it.

So Tim, what do you think prompted your boyfriend to suggest therapy?

[the-spleenless-wonder]

I’m not allowed to kill anyone anyways, so I think I can do that.

Uhhhhmm [visibly cringing at the prospect of actually talking about his feelings] I..well there’s..this trend. In my life, I guess. Where people I love will, uh…die. And then they come back.

But I don’t know, it..it’s like my brain hasn’t registered that they’re back? Because I feel like I’m still mourning. Like I’m..stuck there. I mean I know the five stages of grief and all, but there’s not really a stage for ‘your dead boyfriend comes back to life all of a sudden’. And I don’t know how to..fix it.

[thefateofgotham]

Not killing is generally good, or so Batman says.

I can understand why experiencing losing numerous loved ones has taken a toll on you, it’s only normal. Whether they came back or not, you still lost them. The grief is a direct result of that.

People coming back to life is an unusual situation, yes, but the underlying emotions are not. You are allowed to mourn, and you have to accept that. Trying to force yourself to stop mourning just because the “problem” is “solved” won’t help.

You have to let yourself go through every stage and let yourself be weak and vulnerable with those you love so you can then begin to heal. There isn’t really anything to fix, these are things you need to feel.

The feelings suck, I will admit, but they are necessary. Pick one person to talk about first, and tell me how you feel.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

..Okay. That…I’m not gonna pretend that’s not scary [nervous laughter]

I mean, when the topic came up, I was thinking about Kon. I guess I could start there.

When he died, I…it was just a breaking point, you know? I mean it was right in the middle of all the..other stuff. I mean I’m sure you heard, I kind of went off the fucking rails. I just wanted him back—I wanted to..see him, at least, one more time.

But I got him back, that’s the thing. I have him. Except, y’know, it wasn’t even me that got him back. I tried everything, and it still wasn’t…

Ahem. And. I know you’re saying I need to let myself feel the grief, and stuff, but that’s…kind of hard to do when the person you’re grieving practically lives in your apartment. I mean, if I cry about it, what am I supposed to tell him? I can’t put my grief on his shoulders like that.

[thefateofgotham]

It is scary. I’m sorry, but it is. A lot. But that’s ok, sometimes you have to be scared.

Loosing someone you care about can elicit extreme reactions no matter the situation. The fact that you can look back and understand that reaction already means you’re getting better.

That extreme reaction, and the pent up emotions that caused it, don’t just go away. He’s back, yes. He’s safe, sure. But you’re still feeling.

You did what you could. And then some. Take a second and think about that. Stop thinking about in the context of “I didn’t bring him back” and think instead, for a minute, “I tried.” Because you did. You tried so hard, and did so much.

That’s what you’re feeling. When you put so much effort into something, it makes perfect sense for it to have an effect on you. That effect, again, doesn’t just go away.

You said he’s living with you, right? Have you taken time to just, think about that? Look at him, be close to him, and just relax. Take a second to breathe and forget about everything else and just… sit with him. Let yourself go through the phases while he’s there in front of you. In arm’s reach. I’m sure he’ll be fine, because he loves you.

It will feel weird, nothing’s gonna fix that. But you have him now. Let it be weird for a bit, so it can become better. You’re not “putting grief on his shoulders,” you’re recovering from a traumatic experience. You’re allowed to do that. Talk to him about it, and I promise he’ll understand. Ok?

[thefateofgotham]

Hey so uh. I really don’t wanna be doing this but. My boyfriend told me to at least attempt therapy and I love him so..I’m trying. Are you busy?

- @the-spleenless-wonder

*amused smirk* Hello Tim. Kon-el recommended me? I’m very proud.

Starting therapy is a big step, and a good sign of progress!

I’m always busy, but I definitely have time for you.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

The other boyfriend actually, but yeah.

So. I don’t. Really know how this goes? What do I..what do I do? Are there rules?

[thefateofgotham]

Ah, Bernard. That makes more sense. He’s smart, you should listen to him more often.

Rule number one of therapy: don’t kill the therapist.

Rule number two: there are no other rules.

That’s it.

So Tim, what do you think prompted your boyfriend to suggest therapy?

[the-spleenless-wonder]

I’m not allowed to kill anyone anyways, so I think I can do that.

Uhhhhmm [visibly cringing at the prospect of actually talking about his feelings] I..well there’s..this trend. In my life, I guess. Where people I love will, uh…die. And then they come back.

But I don’t know, it..it’s like my brain hasn’t registered that they’re back? Because I feel like I’m still mourning. Like I’m..stuck there. I mean I know the five stages of grief and all, but there’s not really a stage for ‘your dead boyfriend comes back to life all of a sudden’. And I don’t know how to..fix it.

[thefateofgotham]

Not killing is generally good, or so Batman says.

I can understand why experiencing losing numerous loved ones has taken a toll on you, it’s only normal. Whether they came back or not, you still lost them. The grief is a direct result of that.

People coming back to life is an unusual situation, yes, but the underlying emotions are not. You are allowed to mourn, and you have to accept that. Trying to force yourself to stop mourning just because the “problem” is “solved” won’t help.

You have to let yourself go through every stage and let yourself be weak and vulnerable with those you love so you can then begin to heal. There isn’t really anything to fix, these are things you need to feel.

The feelings suck, I will admit, but they are necessary. Pick one person to talk about first, and tell me how you feel.

[batmanasks]

Batman, can I tell you a story? No? That’s too bad. I had to deal with it, so now so do you. I was having a nice day, you see, until I ran into a very sulky flash. You know what happened after that. *cough* his boyfriend Nightwing was ignoring him *cough* but then! Before NW could get there, the flash in all his infinite stupidity, decided alcohol was his best friend. Being the good person with far too many older sister instincts that I am, I followed him to the sleazy club he decided on. Right as I was trying to knock some sense into him, he started leaning toward and flirting(?) with some random civilian. Which is when, of course, Nightwing burst in and dragged the flash away with shouts resembling “I WASN’T IGNORING YOU” and “YOU CAN’T JUST FLIRT WITH CIVILIANS- OR ANYONE THAT’S NOT ME” and listen. Listen. I love them lots. But REALLY?? Anyway, all of this to say, get Alfred to give them couple’s therapy or something because otherwise I’m just going to bang their heads together next time. Ok? Ok thank you!

...

@supermans-fave-vigilante

[thefateofgotham]

Batman, you’re never going to believe this. Apparently, your son @supermans-fave-vigilante is being mature. He says he’s actually going to clearly communicate. Jury’s still out on whether he’ll manage it but hey! Progress!

I’m giving them therapy either way but I’d be more proud if they, you know, figured it out first.

[thefateofgotham]

Hey so uh. I really don’t wanna be doing this but. My boyfriend told me to at least attempt therapy and I love him so..I’m trying. Are you busy?

- @the-spleenless-wonder

*amused smirk* Hello Tim. Kon-el recommended me? I’m very proud.

Starting therapy is a big step, and a good sign of progress!

I’m always busy, but I definitely have time for you.

[the-spleenless-wonder]

The other boyfriend actually, but yeah.

So. I don’t. Really know how this goes? What do I..what do I do? Are there rules?

[thefateofgotham]

Ah, Bernard. That makes more sense. He’s smart, you should listen to him more often.

Rule number one of therapy: don’t kill the therapist.

Rule number two: there are no other rules.

That’s it.

So Tim, what do you think prompted your boyfriend to suggest therapy?