Many tales to tell

My name is Dan, 25, he/him Professional magician, comedian, beatboxer Feel free to ask about any of those

[chaoticneutralwife]

*mumbling and grumbling* maybe i wanted to win stupid prizes *kicks dirt*

[orange-catsidy]

wow you have dogshit taste (remembers im trying to be nicer to people who like different things) uh i mean, it's beautiful how the breadth of human experience is so wide it encompasses those with good taste and those with dogshit taste

[parkayquarts]

"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs

[i-am-a-fish]

stretching feels so so so so good I just did it and it was so good. I might indulge myself with another stretch and quite soon

[vaguely-human-i-swear]

My fish started stretching!

[i-am-a-fish]

FISH STRETCHING GIF

[pukicho]

The nude beach has the best seashells. This fucking sucks. I love seashells but I hate penis.

[smute]

i think the most upsetting thing about american-flavor puritanism is how fucking patronizing it is. it's 2026 but the whole world still has to deal with a cultural hegemony grown from the gnarled vestiges of victorian-era paternalism. tax-paying adults with passports and the right to vote are treated like wayward children because of the antiquated idea that authorities must protect the weak minds of the unwashed masses from depravity and corruption. the average american can send a fellow citizen to the chair, but they can't piss in a ditch without being declared an outlaw. american entertainment media is saturated with sex, but you can't talk about it online without getting your account suspended. it's such blatant censorship at a universal scale, but because sexual content is framed as inherently dangerous, this restriction on basic adult autonomy, this blanket denial of moral and intellectual adulthood, can be reframed as protection, an expression of care, a moral duty. "won't someone think of the children!" I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN!

[smute]

thank god that the video game that features slow motion animations of graphic gunshot wounds and is rated 18+ has a profanity filter in single player offline mode. thank you for protecting this 33 year old mind from the corrupting influence that is a horse named apple slut

[redhairandpronouns]

yall are so fucking weird about gnc people. a woman wears a suit and she's "conforming to the patriarchy". a man wears a skirt and he's Secretly A Trans Egg. have you considered It's Fabric

[vinterfeminism]

You would not believe the things I have heard as a transfem butch.

[dumbdogdiscourse]

I once said something along the lines of "why does everyone assume that every gnc cis man is an egg" and was harassed for it and sarcastically told that obviously the treatment of cis men should be our biggest concern and that I didn't know anything about egg culture (I do). You do realize that gnc people are queer too, right? You realize I can concern myself with "smaller" problems, because I love gnc people and am concerned about their well-being? You realize that telling people they must be trans because of their presentation is just as bad as telling someone must be cis for the same reasons?

I'm never going to shut up about how shitty the queer community treats gender non-conforming people, especially gender non-conforming men.

[redhairandpronouns]

also the treatment of gnc cis men tells me a lot about how you'd treat gnc trans men. like, you think that if a man likes feminine clothing he's secretly a woman? do you know how many people have told me i'm not "actually trans" because i like feminine clothing? stop reinforcing gender norms i am Begging

[femmeberlin]

Me, fourteen and making OCs: okay she can’t be a Mary Sue! I can’t make her too cool or everyone will think she’s unbelievable and hate her :((

Me, thirty-two and making OCs: Every person I think is hot in this video game is into this OC and also she gets to be a Special Princess. I’ll commission a propaganda portrait of her as an imperial saint.

[lindleland]

the problem millennials + older have with trying to understand the 67 meme is that they keep trying to compare it to past funny numbers.

listen. 67 is not 69. it's not 420, or 21, or 42.

it's E.

you remember this shit?

it's this. 67 is E.

[yellow-cat]

the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt

[podcastwizard]

saw a comment that misspelled “kind gesture” as “kind jester” and am now imagining a beautiful world where we praise good samaritans by calling them kind jesters. good on you, you gentle fool. you’ve made the world a sweeter and sillier place.

[innerchildabortionclinic]

also I don't think parents "these days" are uniquely terrible, I just think neglect is showing up in new ways as technology progresses. today's ipad kid would've been wandering around in a ditch alone all day and night before. parents not wanting to have to deal with children is not a new phenomenon.

[thundergrace]

Oh my God! 😭 You dropped this queen 👑

[thundergrace]

To think I thought I knew what ethereal beauty was before now. Laughable.

[lymeandcoconut]

she’s so beautiful i had to include a few more photos

[happibeans]

Her instagram is @queennyakimofficial !

Support Black Women!!! Support Black Womens Art!!! Support Dark Skinned Black Women!!! Support Dark Skinned Black Womens Art!!!

🖤🤎🖤🤎🖤🤎🖤🤎🖤🤎🖤🤎🖤🤎🖤

[thesaltofcarthage]

I’ve reblogged her before, but really, you can’t have too many dark-skinned Black queens on your dash. 

[theforcekeepers]

she is beautiful and gorgeous and I absolutely adore her but she does not hold a Guinness World Record for darkest skin tone. that's not a real thing

[razzmothazz]

still caring about internet friends you lost touch with years ago is so embarrassing. yeah i had a deam we met up irl recently. the last time we spoke was maybe 7-8 years ago. i still wear the laces we randomly decided was a sign of our friendship. i dont know what any of your socials are or if youre even active on any. sometimes i see someones art resemble yours and i wonder for hours. do you still go by that name you chose? whenever i see it i wonder if its you. we couldve passed each other in this vastness a thousand times and not have a clue.

[barikonen]

when ozymandias king of kings tells u to look upon his works and despair but, boundless and bare, the lone and level sands stretch far away

[i-am-a-fish]

I love polyamory, tater tots, chicken strips, and a large ice cold drink

[contemptible-scoundrel]

UNSTOPPABLE OGRE sent you a message ✉️