Reject The Freak-Machine

let there not be a genesis, for beginnings are false and I am a consummate liar.

[kittydealer]

u/godfather_wanderlust

[the-big-mood]

Hey, did you know archive.org has a bunch of free 90s shows you can stream?

The problem is finding them, since no one's organized them all in one place with covers and episode info. I'm trying to fix that with my new website.

It's in BETA right now, and all the content was just added today, so I've barely scratched the surface of what's out there.

Let me know what you think and what kind of shows/movies you want to see!

http://90sKid.com

[the-big-mood]

We now have a Watch Party with chat feature now live HERE

You can create a live tv channel with our existing library. The channel is time syned so whoever is watching with you will share the moment!

It also works with youtube links and archive.org links.

[mtfautoandrophile]

it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.

[catsuggest]

[gatheringkeepsakes]

I’ve seen this post easily 12 times now and EVERY TIME it’s just a different cat looking at a different door. 

[sycamorality]

collected as many as i could from the notes until tumblr unloaded the post and wouldnt let me look further ……

[haveyoureadthisbook-poll]

Have you read Blood, Bones and Body Bits by Nick Arnold (1996)?

yes

no

I've read parts of it

I've never heard of it

Voting ended onJul 10

[kittydealer]

u/Sarah_Puddin

[little-bisexual-gargoyle]

manifesting season 6 with this meme

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[the-quasar-hero]

>“Unintelligible words”

>Shows the most smumfy dog that’s ever existed.

Make it make sense

[infiniteoreos]

undiagnosed autistic people will be like "I don't get upset when my routine changes though!!" and it's because they've built a set of if-then loops in their head to pick from one of 6 different strict routines and they do get incredibly upset when they're unable to keep to any of the 6 scripts. I'm john normal

[thundercrackfic]

This is called a fault tree. You will always know how to act if your fault tree captures all possible scenarios. In NASA Mission Control during mission critical events like landings there are huge binders with fault tree protocols, kind of like choose your own adventure books except you’re not the one making the choices, the universe is making them for you and you’re just trying to keep up.

The engineers who develop fault trees, I am told, often imagine new ways for their precious spacecraft to die (new branches on the fault trees) either while in the shower or lying awake at 3am, because human

[toothpaste-footlocker]

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

Was just thinking about this the other day. Yeah I have a favorite seat on the bus (middle of the bus, near the back doors, slightly elevated, facing forward), but I don’t get upset if someone is already sitting there, I just pick one of my other favorite spots. Then I realized that most people probably don’t have a favorite bus seat, let alone a series of backup favorites.

[panpteryx]

[nettlewildfairy]

quick question why does your cat command you to print something on the printer

he really likes to watch the printer print. It seems like he thinks there’s some kind of creature in there that I have the mysterious power to summon that he can then hunt for sport?

he sticks his entire arm inside the printer and breaks it if I don’t put some kind of physical burrier between him and the printer but like he purrs so loud when it starts printing and will beg harder for people to print things than he will for treats.

he just loves hunting the printer so much. he even tried to climb inside the place the paper comes out of the printer when he was a kitten.

No matter where he is in the apartment if the printer makes a noise he sprints full speed. He also knows which button to press to get the printer to print like the ink levels info and alignment sheet, so you have to make sure it’s off or locked up or he will print nonstop himself and then attack the printer and jam it.

is it inconvenient that my cat is obsessed with the printer? yes, but damn if it’s not also adorable.

I don’t actually have a ton of photos of him sticking his whole arm in there though because stopping him from jamming the printer is usually a task that involves all of my arms and also all of my roommates arms.

[nettlewildfairy]

Thinking about the post because I had to unplug the printer today because he broke into the closet and printed the info sheet 3 times in a row and did bite me when I tried to stop him

The face of a boy who is sulking because I expelled him from the printer closet.

[nettlewildfairy]

the good news is that my cat is so happy, the bad news is that my sticker cutting machine that I got recently instils the same curiosity and lust for violence in my cat that my printer does so no matter what I do I will not know a moments peace.

[playwrongs]

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

[moghedien]

it is so funny when you realize that by drow standards, especially drow noble house and ESPECIALLY Baenre standards, Minthara is the woke liberal

She is willing to work with men in leadership positions even post-mind control and she will actually compliment and admire their tyrannical prowess

She will argue that the refugees in Baldur’s Gate should be enslaved because it’s practical and better for them that way, not because they’re weak lesser races that deserve to be subjugated

Like she probably gets called a libtard at Spider Thanksgiving every year while all her relatives are trying to poison each other

[baldurdashe]

I apologize, I needed to draw an image to this.

[welele]

[funeralprocessor]

GLORIOUS AMERICAN BEVERAGE, RECARBONATED OVER TEN THOUSAND TIMES

[edgar-allan-possum]

That is just an atrocious sword, huh?

[lobo-cansado-de-ojos-rojos]

Or maybe we should think twice about what we put in our bodies

[crittizen]

[official-graveyard-posts]

Official graveyard post

[abigailspinach]

[celestial-fang]

How did my cute kitten turn into a middle aged Chinese uncle

[kedreeva]

Someone is learning to ask for pets

[nerdicornthetrekkie]

[gamechangershow]

Sorry but it's not complete without...

[sunderwight]

Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.

From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.

Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.

[great-art-and-a-purple-tongue]

Ling: Hey man, what's up— you've got boobs?!?!

Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?

Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!

[scribeofchaos]

Chi-Fu: SHE'S A WOMAN LI SHANG!

Mulan: Look-

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: WE CAN EXPLAIN!!

[One convoluted, chaotic explanation later]

Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.

Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.

Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.

Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?

Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.

Shang: are women better at fighting than us.

Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.

Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.

Chien Po: Real shortage of men.

Ling: Lots of women, though.

Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.

Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.

Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.

Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?

Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.

Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?

Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?

BONUS:

Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].

Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.

Mulan: Thanks, Chien Po.