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catchymemes

atlinmerrick

(Will never not reblog this beauty. What genius.)

dduane

Same. :)

I liked the Fifty Shades films...

#latetotheparty #sorrynotsorry

That unexpected feeling when you’re watching a funny film and then something hits close to home and kicks you in the soft parts.

#everythinghurts #alzheimerssucks #friendswithbenefits

beautifulrosy

So, yeah

Christmas has been weird.

A couple of years ago, my mum was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. It sucks. Like, so much. My sis and I noticed things but shrugged them off for a while. Then recently my mum got shingles. Knocked her sideways and rapidly accelerated her decline.

Cut to Christmas Eve. Dad says he’s had a call from the docs about a DNR for mum. Said he’d have to talk to us. So, we’ve talked. We think we know what he wants to do, but he just wants our blessing? Permission? I don’t know.

We’ve agreed that whilst it’s not pleasant nor what we ultimately want, that we’re okay. If anything should happen, what sort of life would we be bringing her back to? There’s no cure. She’s going downhill fast. It’s not like we’re okaying euthanasia. It’s just if something happens, we don’t want to bring her back for selfish reasons. Hell, at this point there is little to no semblance of our mum left. She doesn’t know who I am.

hunterize

Tell me. What makes you so special? I like to think it’s because of my perky nipples.

popsunner

So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”

To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”

I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.

popsunner

Oh! I forgot to mention! I saw him at lunch the same day, and he ran up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at this super sweet girl who comes to GSA and asked if she’s gay. I told him he should ask her because that’s not my place and he said he would.

I thought that would be the end of it.

Except ten minutes later he came back and told me he found out (she’s bi) and that both of us have a shot. I said “You more than me.” because he’s attractive and popular.

But this wholesome dumbass looked really confused and asked, “Because I’m tall?’

popsunner

So this isn’t lesbian/jock solidarity but I thought you guys would want to know-

My math teacher was trying to fix the rolling whiteboard and he just offhand said “This would be easier with a wrench”

And deadass, dudebro said “Hang on” and then proceeded to pull a fucking wrench out of his backpack

popsunner

Update- after school today he saw me in the library and he didn’t say anything? He just pointed at the book he was holding and I gave him a thumbs up because it’s a pretty good book, and he went “Yes!” Really quiet and pumped his fist and then left

popsunner

Okay so today he asked me if I know how to help people having a panic attack and I was like yeah? And he smiled at me and then went “cool I think I’m having one”

And I was like what the fuck Colin we’re in the middle of Tech class sit down and we went out in the hall and sat there for a while and he told me about the test he’s stressed about so we kind of went over his study guide and when he was feeling better he kind of like… smacked his head against mine gently? And I helped him up even though he’s almost a foot taller than me and yeah

popsunner

Today at lunch we walked to the football field and laid in the grass and I told him thank you for being my friend (because I don’t have that many) and fistbumped me and said, “You always looked so nice and chill, how could I not want to be your friend?”

And honestly y’all, I would’ve started crying if he hadn’t sneezed and accidentally smacked me

freetobesamanddean

thelady1468

#dead

usermeggy

Dean + shirtless || for deansabs

hunenka

Bloodied and beautiful

marsixm

some gay bantz from eddie izzard & alan carr

marsixm

#i LOVE when famous gay ppl talk exactly like me and my gay friends

thelady1468

To watch later

marvellegends

#let him rest

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) || Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)

thelady1468

This is exactly how tense all teachers feel on a school trip. Or maybe it’s just me...

bobertlutece

this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it

lizatonix

There are so many things that are TOP quality about this. The business with the mic rope. The bounding across the stage like an excited puppy or a newsie. The Voice™️ that is so synonymous with John, you know, the voice of a guy who sells ice cream at the soda fountain in the 50’s. The analogy itself.

It’s all so beautiful, such peak humor and content.

mulaneysbutt

Emmy Award Winning™️

pharaohamunsadji

I FOUND IT AGAIN.

pomrania

Here’s the “horse loose in a hospital” bit. Good news, it has closed captioning.

callmesero

IVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR LITERAL MONTHS HOLY SHIT

najitoe

beggars-opera

It’s been a while since I’ve looked at any Egyptian iconography so my brain malfunctioned upon seeing the falcon and I spent a couple of minutes trying to figure out what “Horus Horus Rasputin” means

thelady1468

Hail to the sun god, he’s a real fun god,

weatheredlaw

i taught swim lessons and preschool, do y’all wanna hear the most ridiculous white kid names i’ve ever seen?

weatheredlaw

i’ve met at least a dozen children named some form of “jackson” but the best ones were “jaxon” and “jakson”

a parent who i really liked named her son “jaycob” because she was worried people wouldn’t pronounce it correctly. when someone accidentally spelled it “jacob” she would loudly and obnoxiously ask “WHO’S JAH-KOBE?”

two siblings named “thor” and “tiara”

i once had a classroom with four girls named “brooklyn”

if you sent me a list of popular boy names, i could guarantee i’ve met every single one of them

twin girls named paisley and brinley

a girl named reader

a boy named rocko

keighleey

kayde

kolten

if it can start with a “k” instead of a “c” i have met that child

brittalynn

i taught a swim class with three girls named “london” but only one of them was spelled “lundon” and i know my boss did that to me on purpose

a couple named all their kids after places in arizona: tatum, payson, and hayden

and speaking of hayden, i’ve seen: haydon, heighden, and heydon

according to some white people, there are sixteen different ways to spell mckenzie

lakelyn, blakelynn

a-daks

this is white culture

spamsterlady

I had a student named Branch.

curlicuecal

I once had pair of siblings named Hunter and Tanner. I really wanted them to have a sister named Fawn.

I had a Clark and Ophelia that were a bit unusual in the naming department.

And I had every single imaginable version of a girl’s name staring with “Mad-“ and every single imaginable version of a boy’s name ending in “-aden”

ceekari

Mom’s a teacher. So far her best/worst white kid names:

“Damion with a Y” according to the parent. Daymion? Damyon? Nope. Damiony. The Y is silent, said parent

A girl named Free. Maybe not that bad on its own, but the girl’s last name was Love

A boy named Calup because his mom couldn’t spell Caleb

curlicuecal

the y is silenty

bramblewing-deactivated20210119

please remember that it’s important not to shame or make fun of the children for their names. hate the parents for making shit decisions, but don’t make a child feel bad for something they had absolutely zero control over or say in. bullying children for their names can terrorize and traumatize them.

scold the parents though. just not in front of the kids.

dinosaurrainbowstarfish

Am I weird for not understanding why shame and scolding are necessary for parents choosing mildly amusing kids’ names? They’re not actually doing anything…..wrong? Are they? Why are we shaming people for something that’s not wrong?

thelady1468

All of this is true. But also, the looks on Muslim students faces when I, a white woman, correctly pronounce their names first try is something special. Like, bish, I was born and have lived for most of my life, in Bradford...

romelle-moved

no offense but two characters running from the authorities and then one of them pulls the other in a dark, small alley to shake them off and they’re both breathing hard and there’s not much space there and they’re looking at each other while trying to hold back chuckles and one of them brings their finger to their lips playfully in a ‘shhh’ motion while smirking and oh no now they’re looking at one another’s lips and one of them whispers “i think the coast is clear now. we could leave.” and the other says “yeah. we could.” but they’re still looking at the other person’s lips and neither make a move to go and they can feel each other’s breath against their skin and. y eah

beggars-opera

I’d like to introduce everyone to my new theme song

the-v-gees

fuckin MOOD

aninactivebloggfgfgf

I love the contrast between the lyrics and the melody this is art

cold-and-analytical

pfffffffft nooooo I didn’t just learn this song on ukulele… at midnight…

prridot

Lyrics:

I’ve tried, tried, tried And I’ve tried even more I’ve Cried, Cried, Cried And I can’t recall what for I’ve pressed, I’ve pushed, I’ve yelled, I’ve begged In hope of some success But the inevitable fact is that It never will impress

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have runneth dry, I’ve tried to go fuck shopping But there’s no fucks left to buy I’ve no more fucks to give, Though more fucks I’ve tried to get, I’m over my fuck budget and I’m now in fucking debt

I strive, strive, strive To get everything done I’ve played by all the rules But I’ve very rarely won, I’ve smiled, I’ve charmed, I’ve wooed I’ve laughed, Alas to no avail I’ve run round like a moron, To unequivocally fail!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fuck fuse has just blown, I’ve been hunting for my fucks all day, But they’ve upped and fucked off home, I’ve no more fucks to give, My fuck rations are depleted, I’ve rallied my fuck army but It’s been fucking defeated!

The effort has just not been worth The time or the expense I’ve exhausted all my energy For minimal recompense The complete lack of acknowledgement Has now begun to gall And I’ve come to realise that I Don’t give a fuck at all!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have flown away, My fucks are now so fucked off They’ve refused to fucking stay! I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have gone insane They’ve come back round and passed me While they’re fucking off again!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have all dissolved, I’ve planned many projects But my fucks won’t be involved! I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have all been spent, They’ve fucked off from the building And I don’t know where they went!

I’ve no more fucks to give, I’ve no more fucks to give, I’ve no more fucks, I’ve no more fucks, I’ve no more fucks to give!