[willgrahamscock]

not now kitten, daddy's about to have a mental breakdown from seeing the prices at the grocery store

[willgrahamscock]

this getting 20 notes in under a minute... we need to start killing the government

[kendallroyvevo]

scrunching my face real hard rn

[deathwarlock]

agemaxing by working 5 jobs and looking 60 by 25

[sno-fitzroy-the-85th]

Aging is *literally* the process of your body breaking down like an ancient and damaged machine. It's the epitome of the REAL definition of "degeneration" and people act like it's some sort of "beautiful natural process" no bitch it's literally a disease. It's a built-in kill switch your body has and science has proven this kill switch can be turned off with the right treatments.

Same goes for death itself. "Natural" body death can also be stopped with the right treatments - in fact, there's a lot of overlap between anti-aging treatments that could exist in the next couple decades and the anti-death treatments that could show up in a similar amount of time.

[drew-dopamine]

Ok I guess. But it happens to everyone, it’s inevitable, and trying to stop it only cause self-hate. Might as well embrace it

[sno-fitzroy-the-85th]

Can people actually fucking do some research before replying with dumbass shit like this? Seriously HOW ARE YOU THIS MOTHERFRUCKING STUPID?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

IT IS SPECIFICALL:Y NOT NATURAL

AGING IS YOUR BODY LITERALLY BREAKING DOWN AND FALLING APART YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT! IT CAN BE PREVENTED VIA TREATMENTS THAT YOUR BODY ALREADY DOES!!!!!

Do your fucking research before you tell me I'm wrong about something. Because I didd o my research and I'm sick of stupid people like you saying stupid fucking buillshit like this. KYS, cunt

[drew-dopamine]

great job telling someone to kill themselves over a harmless post! Maybe you should go touch grass!

[sno-fitzroy-the-85th]

ITS NOIT HARMLESS TO SAY THAT AGING IS NATURAL YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKING BITCH

YOU ARE LITERALLY GOING OUT OF YOUR WAY TO SPREAD MISINFORMATION YOU STUPID WORTHLESS SACK OF SHIT

[junejasprose-addict]

Cranky because you can't stop the concept of linear time, aren't you?

[sno-fitzroy-the-85th]

HOW CAN YOU BE THIS MOTHERFUCKING STUPID DO SOME MOTHERFUCKING RESEARCH YOU DUMB FUCKING CUNT INSTEAD OF SPREADING REACTIONARY BULLSHIT I HAVE PROVIDED SOURCES NOW LOOK AT THEM OR GO FUCK YOURSELF BITCH

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

hey dude

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

they didn’t take the chill pill

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

22 years old and you're like this? smh no but fr put on sunscreen. that's it. that's the only "anti-aging" shit that matters and honestly it's there to prevent skin cancer. fuck looking young, i just don't want cancer. for me or for you

[headspace-hotel]

Thank you all for a fantastic post-reading experience, wasn't expecting to see someone saying "kys" in reply to being told humans are mortal

[spacelazarwolf]

IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND WHAT IS THIS??????????????????????????????????????????

[clarissamansplainsitall]

[dragongirltongue]

fert couldn't even achieve tumblr immortality, how the fuck does fert expect to escape the fascism of natural aging lmao

[nineprotons]

I like the person's "dogpile a queer person" bit there, as if queer folks can't also be absolute numpties on (now deleted) main and have weird-ass takes questioned

[charlesoberonn]

It's gonna be such a funny mess when Donald Trump dies of a stroke on April 1st, 2024.

Naturally everybody will think it's fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it's real

There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable "don't speak ill of the dead" discourse about those celebrations

Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that

The Republicans (after they're done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They'll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.

There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)

The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.

Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.

Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.

[rivkann]

[gay-mooshrooms]

LIKE TO CHARGE REGLOG TO CAST

[67thsheepscientist]

if he stops ww3 with his death i'm willing to believe he was some sort of messiah or whatever idc

[lizluvscupcakes]

I would be willing to believe he was the equivalent of a code tester put into the universe by god to show us what’s wrong with everything

[chicagoeggwhisperer]

If King Charles dies on or before March 25th, 2024, he will technically be the shortest-reigning king in English history.

Anyway, like to charge, reblog to cast.

[breelandwalker]

PREPARE THE CABBAGE

[raingerr]

ooouuuugghhh i could not stop thinking about the two headed calf poem in the context of a little baby t rex so i have done what i must.

while we have only found one fossil of a two-headed organism (a Hyphalosaurus) there is no doubt that there had to have been at least one two-headed dino born at some point (especially with how common polycephaly is in reptiles).

if you dont know the poem, it's "The Two-Headed Calf" by Laura Gilpin

[foogriffy]

would you still love me if i was a worm?

[yourscreechingruinscollector]

@wearepaladin

[memewhore]

[technofeudalism]

“you can disagree with mitch mcconnell and still wish him well” i wish he would have died right there on camera in front of america that shit would have been fire and i think what the country really needs right now for healing

[inkskinned]

we were the liminal kids. alive before the internet, just long enough we remember when things really were different.

when i work in preschools, the hand signal kids make for phone is a flat palm, their fingers like brackets. i still make the pinky-and-thumb octave stretch when i "pick up" to respond to them.

the symbol to save a file is a floppy disc. the other day while cleaning out my parents' house, i found a collection of over a hundred CDs, my mom's handwriting on each of them. first day of kindergarten. playlist for beach trip '94. i don't have a device that can play any of these anymore - none of my electronics are compatible. there are pieces of my childhood buried under these, and i cannot access them. but they do exist, which feels special.

my siblings and i recently spent hours digitizing our family's photos as a present for my mom's birthday. there's a year where the pictures just. stop. cameras on phones got to be too good. it didn't make sense to keep getting them developed. and there are a quite a few years that are lost to us. when we were younger, mementos were lost to floods. and again, while i was in middle school, google drive wasn't "a thing". somewhere out there, there are lost memories on dead laptops. which is to say - i lost it to the flood twice, kind of.

when i teach undergrad, i always feel kind of slapped-in-the-face. they're over 18, and they don't remember a classroom without laptops. i remember when my school put in the first smartboard, and how it was a huge privilege. i used the word walkman once, and had to explain myself. we are only separated by a decade. it feels like we are separated by so much more than that.

and something about ... being half-in half-out of the world after. it marks you. i don't know why. but "real adults" see us as lost children, even though many of us are old enough to have a mortgage. my little sister grew up with more access to the internet than i did - and she's only got 4 years of difference. i know how to write cursive, and i actually think it's good practice for kids to learn too - it helps their motor development. but i also know they have to be able to touch-type way faster than was ever required from me.

in between, i guess. i still like to hand-write most things, even though typing is way faster and more accessible for me. i still wear a pj shirt from when i was like 18. i don't really understand how to operate my parents' smart tv. the other day when i got seriously injured, i used hey siri to call my brother. but if you asked me - honestly, i prefer calling to texting. a life in anachronisms. in being a little out-of-phase. never quite in synchronicity.

[professional-rat-eater-deactiva]

The entire bad batch: come with us

Crosshair: no

32 Rotations Later…

Crosshair:

[headspace-hotel]

Annoying that dairy products are demonized as Unnatural and Disgusting when it's actually kinda neat that humans figured out a way to fulfill omnivorous nutritional requirements without killing any animals (and populations historically dependent on dairy even evolved lactase persistence!). This is biopunk to me

[headspace-hotel]

I've seen weird memes and stuff like "Milk is BODILY FLUID that came from a COW" and the fact that people exist that would find this distressing concerns me.

Y'all are not going to like learning what fruits are...

[headspace-hotel]

A fruit is an OVARY that because SWOLLEN AND ENLARGED after PLANT GENITALS were rubbed in PLANT SPERM by a BUG

[shirtsthatgohard]

[rollerskate2theface]

Sooo this happened on tiktok

And the comments are gold

(+Extra)

[lunnefisk]

YOU THERE! RECENT FOLLOWER WITH NO PROFILE PICTURE. CAN YOU PASS THE TURING TEST

[lunnefisk]

[lostinhistory]

[curlicuetruth]

found this in one of the news articles

I can’t decide whether seven bushmaster bites means you should stay away from bushmasters or declare yourself bushmaster king

[funnytwittertweets]

[drunkwhenimadethis]

It’s literally dark by 4pm. Do you think that’s good for me? Do you think I am loving that