chronically painful

lover of early morning light and wide open spaces

[leonkennedysprostate]

"don't assign human morality to non human things" is so true except when it comes to printers. they know what they are, they understand dilemmas and ethics and morality. they choose to be how they are, they choose to be evil, at their very core they are rotten

[ilya-sweetheart]

David ‘from McGill’ Hollander

Enforcer. Alternate captain. 7 concussions and counting. He only lost three teeth but he chipped two so he occasionally lisps

Yuna was their unofficial coach (she just kept showing up and telling them all the things they did wrong)

David fell in love at first sight. He scored twice and kissed his glove at her in the stands

Their first date was at the campus cafeteria where they shared chicken wings and a cigarette

Masters degree in finance. Worked briefly for the Irish mob as an auditor (if the police is reading this no he did not; he bought that rolex with legal money)

He proposed with a detailed laid out financial plan for their future, a house listing in a good neighbourhood, a silver ring he bought (gifted from the irish mob shhh) and a plan to volunteer as local a timbits coach

He’s an avid flight radar app user. This is the only app he has installed.

Occasional train spotter and designated family driver while Yuna reads the maps

Scrabble master. Kindle book reader (he has a wallet phone case for his kindle)

Positivity giddy that his son has a boyfriend and can experience something ‘normal’ outside of hockey <3

Excel spreadsheet lover. Don’t you dare mention powerpoint around this man. He’s a sudoku autism man. Numbers are his friends

Doesn’t keep in touch with his parents after he married Yuna, but he’s close with his cousin Tom who Shane calls ‘uncle tom’

Prefers email over texting and don’t even get him fucking started on zoom

Occasional shitstarter and ragebaiter (yuna likes it) “what is youtube?”

Hobby chef, but terrible baker. Still loves watching bake off though

[bugslibraryy]

Did you guys know what right now hollanov are cuddled up on the couch and Shane is curled into Ilya’s chest, back to the TV (he’d fallen asleep an hour into the movie), his socked feet pushed into the ankle of Ilya’s sweats. Shane fusses a little when the movie Ilya is watching has some loud explosions and he’s quickly grabbing the remote and turning it down.

His hand is smoothing down over the back of Shane’s head and he’s mumbling “shh sleep” as he’s leaning down to kiss kiss kisss the top of his head, rub his nose in a bit to smell Shane, lingering since Shane isn’t awake to swat him away. Ilya feels Shane’s hand fist into his tshirt where his hand was laying on his chest, and his thigh pushes in closer between Ilya’s before his boy is drawing in a big huge sigh and falling back to sleep. Ilya is smiling into Shane’s soft hair with his eyes sleepily watching the tv

[sin-eater]

“A SONG BIRD OF THE PECULIAR PARISH”

[theconcealedweapon]

[mo-mode]

Autistic Shane has echolalia which is why he likes to randomly switch to a Russian accent and repeat back all the little Russian phrases and accented words Ilya says. At first, Ilya thinks he’s making fun of him like some weird form of chirping, but he eventually realizes Shane is just Like That TM (being his cutie patootie self.)

Shane: *sounds progressively more Russian during a conversation*

Ilya, thinking Shane’s making fun of him: that fucking asshole?

Ilya: neveroyatnyy

Shane, whispering in a perfect Russian accent: ✨neveroyatnyy✨

Ilya, clearly wasn’t supposed to hear that: ????!!

Ilya drops several Russian curses while they fuck once, and Shane just moans them right back. (Maybe Ilya fucks Shane three ways to Sunday afterward, and maybe he starts speaking Russian more during sex, but that is NO ONE’S business!)

Shane speaking to JJ during warm-ups: *unconsciously copying his accent*

Ilya, eavesdropping: No, that’s our thing >:(

Shane has genuine difficulty staying quiet and not echoing when Ilya gives his monologue over the phone, but he thinks it would upset Ilya if he did. (And Ilya will never admit it, but each time he said “I love you” in Russian, he hoped Shane would say it back in his little echo, even if he knew Shane didn’t mean it. (He would.))

Shane in the hospital, high as a kite, in a Russian accent: bye bye :)

Ilya, heart eyes 15000%: fuck this, fuck you, nurse I am having heart attack

This is also why Ilya believes Shane could learn Russian in two weeks because SOMEHOW (with his echolalia) Shane is really good at replicating the proper pronunciation.

[polartss]

’tis heated I guess

[notahungrywish]

When Yuna has her “no son(in law) of mine will have inferior brand deals and management” takeover shortly after she learns about Shane and Ilya, how long do you think it takes her to figure out his money situation with his family?

I’m imagining her/maybe Shane playfully ribbing him about how he has no real financial manger or decent investments and what do you MEAN you just let a paycheck like that sit in your account while buying luxury cars every five minutes no wonder your net worth is shockingly low for your value, etc etc. and he’s not even offended he’s surprised and pleased that his new family is so invested in him and also enjoys watching where Shane gets some of his crazy. Like Ilya Mommy Issues Rozanov is “yes please ma’am optimize my finances and worry about my wellbeing harder” while he shovels whatever David made for dinner in his mouth.

But then at some point while she’s (lovingly) harping on his financial irresponsibility he just kind of quietly mentions that actually so much of his paycheck was going back home to his family when he was younger that he needed to blow shit on cars or whatever pretty quick if he didn’t want it to disappear. And she realizes that yeah he’s a little dummy who spent a concerning amount of money on VIP sections last year and thinks bank account interest is investing but he was also a child supporting his entire family in a foreign country with no one bothering to look out for his best interest or explain planning for a future.

David gets treated to impassioned rants every night about how “David I’m not convinced anyone even read that boy his contract in Russian”.

She starts managing him as well, obviously, and she’s kind of disturbed by how easily he just signs whatever she puts in front of him and doesn’t bother asking questions before agreeing to hand over all his management to her. He just seems thrilled she got him a Lamborghini partnership and an invite to fashion week.

The only time he puts up a fuss is when he realizes she’s not planning to take any significant cut of his money because “you’re family sweetheart” and he looks like he got smacked in the head with a shovel and has to go outside on the porch with Shane for a suspiciously long period of time.

Just to make sure it’s not suspicious that Yuna Hollander is now managing Ilya Rozanov she takes on a few more clients too. And if she specializes in managing rookies with no support network or active language barriers then that’s just a coincidence.

[himekokosu]

Hydrangea 

[anasabdin]

Night melt

[thelilacocean]

You can make desiccated coconut in a blender if you believe in yourself

[monstermonger]

Friend in an alleyway | my wife sent me this photo the other day and said "you HAVE to draw this." and I agreed completely <:

[monstermonger]

oops I was told you can only see the photo if you have a bsky account, so here's a screenshot of it!

[bornfreakdraws]

*heats your rivalry*

[mikerowave-writes]

some of the hottest buffest smartest women on the planet are playing primetime hockey and beating the shit out of each other for FREE on YOUTUBE DOT COM and you people are watching a bunch of illiterate misogynistic men play hockey because why? Because you think they might be fucking each other ? The women of the pwhl are MARRIED TO EACH OTHER

[ultimate-shipper-blog]

I got this notification and I am just picturing in another universe Ilya getting the same one on his secret hollanov fan account and just completely CRASHING TF OUT

[honeybeetlejuice]

every disabled person should get a free pass to jump one ableist medical professional of their choosing with absolutely no consequences

[thelilacocean]

Please tell me this number resets annually

[zombiezinmydreams]