The Littlest VIKING @thelittlestviking - Tumblr Blog

i’m sorry but there is no way you could have stopped me from standing on my chair and screeching like a banshee if i saw this live…

What

how

HOW

“ballet isn’t a sport”

bubblegumjetpack

The thing about this is, you can barely see their muscles straining from effort. The effort to keep each other and themselves balanced, definitely, but that guy’s hand is barely shaking. The amount of training and strength and balance to go into this is fucking insane.

time-lordd

Ballet is raw AF

cracked

Why Everything You Know About Vikings Is A Lie

werebearbearbar

True story - There are historical accounts (well, there’s at least one historical account) in which English people whine about how the Norse men bathe so often they’re able to seduce the local women away from their husbands.

systlin

^^^ Yep. Turns out the women were way more into the hot well groomed muscular dudes who liked to smell nice.

nerdyydragon

Well not much has changed, has it.

hogwartscastle

THANK YOU JO ❤️

killyouranxiety

hobbies masterpost!

a really excellent way to reduce anxiety is to pick up a new hobby. find something you’re interested in, learn it, then use it as a healthy and productive way to cope.

learn to play guitar

learn how to make interactive stories with the free program Twine

learn how to make pixel art

learn another language

learn how to build a ship in a bottle

learn how to develop your own film

learn how to embroider

learn how to make chiptunes (8-bit music)

learn how to make origami (the art of paper folding)

learn how to make tumblr themes

learn how to make jewelry

learn how to make candy

learn how to make terrariums

learn how to make your own perfume

learn how to make your own tea

learn how to build birdhouses

learn how to read tarot cards

learn how to make zines

learn how to code

learn how to whittle (wood carving)

learn how to make candles

learn how to make clay figurines

learn how to knit scarves

learn how to become an amateur astronomer

learn some yoyo tricks

learn how to start a collection

learn how to start body building

learn how to edit wikipedia articles

learn how to decorate iphone cases

learn how to do freelance writing

learn how to make your own cards and

learn how to make your own envelopes

learn how to play the ukulele

learn how to make gifs

learn how to play chess

learn how to juggle

learn how to guerrilla garden

learn how to chart your family history

learn how to keep chickens

learn how to do yoga

learn how to do magic tricks

learn how to raise and breed butterflies

learn how to play dungeons & dragons

learn how to skateboard

learn how to do parkour

learn how to surf

learn how to arrange flowers

learn how to make stuffed animals

sonatagreen

A tradition

In peacetime, the ruler grows their hair long. In war, they cut it short. A ruler with long hair is held in great esteem, for defending the peace. The traditional declaration of war is for the ruler to send their cut-off hair to the enemy ruler. The statement carries greater weight the longer the hair: to receive long hair says that you have angered one who is slow to anger, that you have incurred a wrath not easily woken.

wakor-rising

Violent war-mongering leader frantically and aggressively tries to shave just a LITTLE hair off the top of their head into an envelope.

A faraway king receives a heavy wooden crate filled with a coil of the longest hair he has ever seen.

A despised ruler finds hundreds of pounds of cut-off ponytails at her castle entrance, each one belonging to her own people.

A young emperor refuses to cut their hair and insists on trying to make peace with invaders. The enemy leader steps forward, draws their blade, and cuts the emperor’s hair themselves.

Hellen cuts her hair off and throws it in Cathy’s face at her son’s soccer scrimmage.

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

The Things We Give Welsh Learners: y Babi Sinsir

So I was going through our bookshelf yesterday, because we’re fast approaching the point where we need a clear-out, and I came across one of my all-time favourite creations ever, probably even beating shit like the wheel and penicillin. Years back, before leaving The Man to pursue his dreams of being a sort of professional clown-thing, my husband used to be a translator for Neath Port Talbot Council; as is often the way with Welsh councils, though, owing to a lack of money and also everywhere is really close to each other (this country is 150 miles wide at its widest point, and about 47 miles at the thin bit. Ver ver small), NPT Council’s translating department was shared by Swansea Council. Thus it was that, in the halcyon days of circa 2009, the two decided to team up and produce a new Welsh language book for learners between them, and thus it got sent through to Steffan to proof read it.

A Thing You May Not Know: Welsh is one of ten indigenous languages to Britain, arguably the oldest, and has been viciously oppressed over the last millennium and a half as part of England’s big If You Destroy Their Culture They’ll Be Glad To Be Ruled By You policy. These days, it’s nonetheless still spoken by approximately a fifth of the Welsh population; a hell of a feat, considering, but the suppression of it continues to this day (just in cleverer, sneakier ways now than whipping people’s children if they’re heard.) But it is classified as Endangered. Thanks to Welsh-language schools now being a thing (though supply is much lower than demand), transmission rates to the younger generation are pretty good; but, Welsh is peculiarly dependent on adult learners.

This means that learner books might have to appeal to both children and adults while using very simple language, which I explain in case it in some way justifies the bewildering weirdness of what I’m about to show you; because at first glance, this book is simply for children. But it’s… Well.

Well.

I present to you, with translations in bold and commentary by me, Y Babi Sinsir.

Literally, “the Ginger Baby”, but they mean ‘ginger’ as in ‘gingerbread’. Literal ginger. Not the colour.

This is Mr Jones. This is Mrs Jones.

What’s wrong, Mrs Jones? I want a baby.

Note: there will be some confusion in this book about whether the narrator is speaking, or anyone else. It might seem cut and dried here, but there are no speech marks around “Dw i eisiau babi”, whereas later speech marks are used, and also in two pages’ time the narrator will actively pass a value judgement using first person, so… Well.

But, so far so good.

Mrs Jones is making a Babi Sinsir.

… okay, so I like this page because of the capitalisation of Babi Sinsir and the lack of definite article. She’s just making a Babi Sinsir. You know, a Babi Sinsir? Magical baby made of gingerbread that you make if you can’t conceive but can’t afford IVF? Yeah. A Babi Sinsir. That’s right.

Let it be known that this is Not A Thing in Welsh folklore or mythology. What the fuck. How does this work. Where does the magic come from? Do you need a faerie ingredient? Will the next page tell us?

This is the Babi Sinsir. I like the Babi Sinsir.

Nope.

But it is apparently shit-capable and needs a nappy. It’s good that the narrator likes it anyway.

The Babi Sinsir is bad. He’s running.

Uh oh.

“Come back, Babi Sinsir.”

Look how Worried the Joneses are. Funny how they don’t seem to be calling that enthusiastically, though. I’d have expected an exclamation mark at least. Did Mrs Jones always have a massive left arm? I can’t remember.

“Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Yeah, okay, so that’s the Welsh for “Run! Run! As fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man!”, but once again, I’m going to have to draw attention to the lack of expressive punctuation here. It really feels like this naughty Babi Sinsir’s heart is just not in this.

“Come and help, Mr Horse.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Cool, look, a floating horse has come to help.

The pen there, incidentally, was an attempt by the translators to work out who was talking. I can’t imagine why. This dialogue is on fire, everyone can tell.

“Come and help, Mrs Cow.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Now they have been joined in their high-speed zombie shuffle by a married floating cow who is, if I’m not much mistaken, high as shit.

“Come and help, Mr Goat.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

I’m starting to suspect the artist only knew how to draw the legs on animals in one way.

“Come and help, Mr Dog.” “Run, run, Catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Yes, that dog is definitely here to ‘help’. Also… the Babi Sinsir is literally within reach of Mrs Jones’ massive left arm now. Why is she not just picking him up?

“Come and help, Miss Cat.” “Run, run, Catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

You may be wondering at this point if this is just… the whole book. An ever-increasing flock of floating zombie creatures shuffling after a naughty gingerbread baby in a nappy who is committing the cardinal sin of running. I mean… where can they go from here, amirite? A sheep? A squirrel? A chicken? We can hit a hundred pages this way, easy. The concern is the artist, whom I think was stretched a bit beyond their means on this project anyway.

BUT WORRY NOT! Shit’s about to go down, guys.

Oh no! Here comes Mr Wolf. Mr Wolf runs and catches the Babi Sinsir.

THAT IS A FOX

THAT IS A GODDAMN FOX YOU HEATHEN FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

AND WHY THE FUCK IS IT WEARING CLOTHES WHEN NONE OF THE OTHER ANIMALS WERE

WHY IS IT DRESSED IN DUNGAREES LIKE A LAZY FARMHAND ON AN AMERICAN RANCH IN THE 1800S

This doesn’t bode well for the -

Half of the Babi Sinsir is left.

WHAT THE

Quarter of the Babi Sinsir is left.

WHY DOES IT STILL LOOK SAD AND HORRIFIED WHY IS IT STILL ALIVE OH MY GOD

The Babi Sinsir has gone! There’s tasty.

What the

Wha

I realise this is not the main point to make here, but two pages ago it had eaten half of that nappy, and now it’s whole again and delicately discarded to one side, I just want

I mean

It’s okay, right? This happens in fairytales? Little Red Riding Hood? Someone will eviscerate the fox and out will come the Babi Sinsir…’s pieces, and they can be baked back together…?

No one cares!

Mrs Jones is making another Babi Sinsir.

The new Babi Sinsir loves Mrs Jones.

…

…okay, so there’s a lot for us all to take in right now, and we’re all going to get through it at different speeds. But I’m just going to draw attention to the fact that Mr Jones is now merely depicted as a picture on the wall, and the new Babi Sinsir apparently only loves Mrs Jones, and…

Okay so they just lost their beloved baby gingerbread son because he got eaten alive by a fox in dungarees calling itself a wolf, right? Mrs Jones apparently couldn’t give less of a fuck if she tried, as long as she has some flour and ginger left over to make another. This one she made to love her.

Mr Jones, I presume, had a total mental breakdown and drank himself to death. At the very least, he’s left her, look. All she has left is the photo.

But does dim ots! Mae’r Babi Sinsir newydd yn caru Mrs Jones.

And that is the story of Y Babi Sinsir, aka the greatest work of literature ever written.

skullmoss

…does OP not know of the gingerbread man fairy tale?

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

Me: quotes the Gingerbread Man in the post

This guy: omg this is just like the Gingerbread Man, have you heard of it?

skullmoss

buddy this wouldn’t be the first or last time someone in all seriousness thought they discovered something unheard of & gave a ~~quirky synopsis on this hellsite. that’s what I thought this was.

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

Buddy this won’t be the first or last time someone in all seriousness realises they’ve Heard Of A Thing & completely ignores what’s written in the actual text in order to smugly feel they’re cleverer than the person who wrote it on this hellsite. That’s what this is.

teashoesandhair

Ie ond wyt ti wedi clywed am ‘Y Babi Sinsir’ achos dw i ddim eisiau darllen y text ond mae rhaid i fi swn yn glyfar

just-shower-thoughts

Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. “I killed your friend, here hold him.”

unclebeanbag

“Friend”

Its more of I killed a potential enemy. Hold his dismembered corpse in victory.

ulysseus

Plants don’t wage war

unclebeanbag

Ever heard of blackberries?

Yes, plants do wage war

kasaron

Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else.

systlin

I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago.

It’s currently fighting a bitter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio.

Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, I take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries.

And anyone wondering if a blowtorch is overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint.

moirakatson

This post did not go where I expected it to.

burntcopper

Kromlau bridge, Germany, during all four seasons.

greyhyms-deactivated20220506

i love prince eric. from the little mermaid. he’s hilarious. because he seems like one of the most mild-mannered and unassuming princes in the disney canon, but he is also one of the few to actively kill the bad guy. most disney villains die by consequence of the final battle but are not directly killed by the hero/heroine. most of them fall to their deaths or cause their own demise, and sometimes the hero is indirectly responsible because they’ll launch them into that direction or something, but they still don’t bring knife to heart directly.

but then a couple do. and prince eric is my fave out of those few because up until the final act, he is the most chill motherfucker u ever seen. like he is quick to spring to action during the storm scene n stuff, but otherwise? he’s really quiet n sensitive and runs along the beach playing the flute for his big shaggy dog n he smiles like a lil nerd and gets all cute around ariel and he’s so sweet n everything.

AND THEN IN THE FINAL BATTLE THAT MOTHERFUCKER STRAIGHT UP DRIVES A SHIP THROUGH URSULA LIKE WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!! NO WONDER NO ONE IS TRYIN TO LAY SIEGE TO HIS KINGDOM!! ALL THE NEIGHBOURS ARE LIKE “HOLY SHIT DON’T GO THERE! PRINCE ERIC IS A BEAST! HE’LL STRAIGHT UP DRIVE A BOAT THROUGH YOUR BITCH!”

i love him

lainybunbuns

At the beginning of the movie Prince Eric, without hesitation, jumps into the ocean, in the middle of a storm, and climbs onto a ship that’s on fire, all to rescue his dog.

Then when he’s convinced some mystery woman saved him, he starts looking for her just to thank her. On his way, he meets some mute naked teenage girl who can’t even walk or dress herself, confirms that she’s not the girl he’s looking for, then brings her to stay at his castle anyway, for no particular reason.

No one questions this, just like they don’t question when he shows up three days later with a mysterious woman one morning and says he’s getting married that same day. At said wedding, several witnesses see his fiance turn into a sea monster, which he then murders by piloting a submerged ship pulled up from the bottom of the ocean straight into her.

A week later, he marries the mute girl and the god of the sea himself rises from the ocean to give his blessings. Again, no one questions this.

I’m convinced that Eric had to have done some crazy insane stunts on a regular basis, cause despite him being so chill and relaxed normally, no one bats an eyelash at any of his ridiculous decisions or incredible feats during the course of the film. Clearly they’re all used to it, and rumours of him marrying an ocean princess would only dissuade potential enemies of his country even further.

lovelydreamer77

sukvsa

so pure. so precious. ♡

gifak-net

ultravioletnights

i’m sorry but there is no way you could have stopped me from standing on my chair and screeching like a banshee if i saw this live…

What

how

HOW

“ballet isn’t a sport”

bubblegumjetpack

time-lordd

Ballet is raw AF

space-time-nomad-deactivated202

I think I just realized why Frozen isn’t as good as Moana. Frozen didn’t bother to incorporate Norwegian/Scandinavian/Norse culture into its story beyond some visuals while Moana did so with Polynesian culture. Wayfinding, an important part of Polynesian culture and identity, was central to the plot. Not only was it how the main characters physically got to where they were going it was used as a way to for Moana and Maui to bond and was an allegory for their relationship and character development, especially Moana’s. Polynesian singing styles and/or languages were incorporated into most of the songs while the only remotely traditional sounding song in Frozen was “Vuelie” and that wasn’t a main song at all. Traditional Polynesian cultural values of family and respect for elders and heritage are at the forefront of the story in Moana.

Personally I believe we really missed out when it came to Frozen. We could’ve had a Viking Disney Princess. A VIKING Disney Princess! We could’ve had a film with Norse gods. You could still incorporate the theme of sisterly love and the importance of family because the Norse valued clan membership above all else. Yes even more than romantic love at times. Family was everything in the Viking Age. You could’ve had a story about Elsa being a völva or Priestess who was loved and yet feared by her people. The völva was a figure who inspired both awe, respect and fear and was seen as a valuable member of society even she was on the fringes at times. Anna could’ve been a shieldmaiden who went on a quest to save her and teamed up with an outcast Sami man Kristoff to traverse the ancient Norwegian landscape. They could’ve fought trolls and no I’m not talking about the cutesy annoying ones in the film. I’m talking about flesh eating giants that look like demonic big foots with tails. Kristoff could’ve been a badass who was adopted by them instead of being eaten. Hans could’ve been a warrior of a rival clan that wanted to take over Anna and Elsa’s clan so that he could over throw the leader of his own and start a blood feud that would last generations. Anna herself could’ve learned the art of the völva as well from her sister since women in Norse society were seen as having a special affinity for magic. She could’ve gone through a spiritual initiation conducted by Odin. She could’ve been sent to find runes at the base of Yggsdrasil to gain the power to save her sister. She could’ve had visions of the gods that guide her to her destiny and sister. She could’ve FOUGHT Hans and his forces on the field of battle leading her own clan with the aid of battle magic from Elsa.

Really I could go on and on about what we could’ve had. Maybe one day I’ll write a fic or make a comic about my version of Frozen. But yeah it’s actually crucial incorporate the culture of the setting of the stories and the heritage of the characters.

thelittlestviking

YEEEEESSSSSS!