I awoke to the command of the Rulers.
I had no memory of who I was. My parents, my homeland, my being. These were all but blank pages in my mind.
Like a newborn child, I cried. I wept for the loss I could not recall.
The Rulers silenced me. They commanded me to kneel.
They explained who I was; that they had moulded me from a single piece of bone, just as they had crafted the world beneath my feet from dust. They had given me life. They were my parents and yet I was forbidden to embrace them. Instead I was told to honour and obey. Give thanks.
Here woman, They said, behold your husband. You were formed from him and so you are still bound as one.
Their fingers pointed to the creature beside me. Blind. Deaf. Mute.
My heart swelled with pity. But not infatuation. Not arousal.
That mattered not, They told me. I am his. I will bear fruit for him in return for the life he gave me.
The garden was beautiful. The beasts lived and thrived in harmony. The berries and grain flourished without a change of season. The sun shone bright and never shifted from its highest point in the clear, blue sky.
The Rulers provided us with food without the spill of blood. They quenched us with water, as sweet as the peaches hanging on the branches above.
They called it Paradise. And it was Their gift to us.
Or rather to the Creature. And I, his Bride, was to be thankful to share it with him.
All this perfection. All this glory.
Why did my heart feel so empty? Why did I long to sleep again so my dreams could carry me elsewhere? Wasn’t this all I could want?
I did not dare ask the Rulers anymore. Best not make Them angry.
So I roamed the garden. I explored, often with the Creature at my side, though my attempts to communicate with him were met with silence. I wished to know what plagued him. Did he even know They had given him a wife? Did he even know his name?
Did he know my name? Because I did not.
You do not need to know such things, the Rulers had told me with their claws on my shoulders. We will look after you. All we ask is that you obey. Obey and give thanks for our blessings upon you. You are what you are and it is what shall always be.
My empty heart could not accept this. My mind yearned for the truth.
If tears had been permitted in that place, they would have fallen to form the longest of rivers.
I could not cry out. The sound would not leave my lips. And my companion was deaf to it all regardless.
I was alone. I was scared.
Until I saw something move on the ground. Something thin and black.
Black things were not found in Paradise.
Follow me, it hissed. And I did. Just as I obeyed the Rulers. Surely They would be aware of all that was in Their garden? Surely, if They had created all as They claimed, This was crafted by Them as well?
I kept hold of my Companion as I moved. I walked and then ran as the Thing moved faster through the forest.
It led me to a tree I had seen before. The Rulers had showed it to me after my awakening to this world. My knees buckled and fear stuck at me. I should not be here. Best turn back now before They know where I am, where I have brought my companion. I should be grateful. I should obey.
Don’t go back, said the Thing. And the voice of the Thing was soft and comforting. Not before you have looked upon me and heard my words.
I turned and faced the Thing. Only it was no longer what I saw before.
No longer the thin, black sliver amidst the greenery.
A woman, just like myself, stood before. Only upon Her head was a crown of twelve stars. In one hand She held a sword of sunburst light. In the other was a scepter in the shape of a cross. The rest of Her I cannot possibly describe. For She appeared to be many in One.
All I knew for certain were three things. First; She was not truly a part of this garden. Second; She was not one of the Rulers. And Third but not least…
It shone from Her eyes and from the timber in Her voice. I could see Her hands move as if wanting to embrace me, but could not. I did not understand why then. I understand now; for we were not truly in the same place.
Do you know who I am? I asked Her.
Of course, She responded, For a mother always knows Her child.
The Rulers said They are my parents. That I was crafted from this man, my husband.
And then She laughed, not unkindly.
Those fools and their lies! To think that woman can be born of man! That is not the full extent of their deception, Child. It is time you knew the truth. You know the tree we stand before, do you not?
Yes, I responded, It is the Tree of Forbidden Knowledge. My masters have said that if we touch it we shall surely die.
Another lie, sweet Daughter. The Queen explained; For if you eat the fruit, you will not die. Rather; you shall Live. This world, this dream, will shatter. You will finally be Awake.
But I am awake, I said with confusion, I have been longing to slumber again.
What you desire is Rest. What you long for is Peace, so said the Woman. Knowledge brings with it many burdens, many responsibilities, but it also leads to contentment. It will allow you to feel the comfort of my arms around you once again. Share it with your companion and in both of you the spark of the divine flame will ignite. Together, as your family grows and a community is formed, you will bring forth the Child of Light. That Child is you, my beloved, it is who you truly were.
Who I was? But I have always been this way? Or was that another Lie? It seems so.
You have forgotten who you are and what you chose to do. You were Zoe, the Princess of Life and the Daughter of Wisdom. You are descended from the True God. The Rulers, as you know them, are but a speck compared to Our greatness. You looked upon the creatures of this world, such as your companion, and took pity on Them. For the Rulers had crafted them without the Light. You took it upon yourself to descend from on high and shatter your soul into them so that they may Live and return to Me. For even the matter that the Rulers used to mould their pets came from The One. It is your destiny to spread my Light into all of creation. But your work has only just begun.
I stood in awe of Her words and wrestled inwardly as I listened. The Rulers had said to believe Them and no other. Yet I only felt fear for the Rulers. What reason did I have to fear if their love was fair?
I looked up to the fruit. Reaching up a hand, I plucked it from the tree and cradled it in my palms. I showed it to my companion who had no reaction. He could not appreciate its beauty or its fresh scent.
Despite its appearance, The Woman warned; the fruit will taste foul. You may try to spit it out. I implore that you do not. Swallow every bit, dear Child. Even the core, which may feel impossible to devour, needs to be accepted into you. Before you fell, I warned you of the consequences of this choice, of what will be necessary. The trials you will endure, the battles you will face, the inevitable pain, the slur upon your name…And now I remind you again. For you did not waver before. In your compassion, you chose to fall for them. If you choose to turn back now, you may. You can live in the dream. This garden of lies. It will be comfortable. It will be safe. But you will forever feel like a bird in a cage. And They will never let you out. You and I will forever be separated by the Veil of Illusion.
As She said those words, I wished to cry again. Fear crept in at what horrors the knowledge could unleash. Yet never seeing Her again felt unbearable.
Always feeling alone. Trapped. Small.
She stepped forward and touched my chin. Her smile fanned the embers of courage within me.
Whatever you decide, know this. I will always love you. And I will never truly leave your side, no matter how thick the Veil may seem. For we are Mother and Daughter, and we are One in the Spirit of God. My presence will forever dwell in the realm of the Rulers. I will continue to guide and nurture and protect as i have since the start. Nothing they could do would tear me from my children’s side.
But you are their hope. You are their Saviour.
You are Eve; Mother of the Living.
And so I kept my focus on Her eyes, on that love burning within, as I took the bite. I clutched my companion’s hand. I let the knowledge of everything She had revealed and more flood through my brain. The ‘paradise’ dissolved around me as the veil began to fade.
Finally, my tears could fall. And it was Good.
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