It’s Oracle Hour

eleanor. she/her. england. I see the past, the present, and the future…

[berdyayeva]

being an executioner used to be an inherited job. imagine dealing with teen angst and also job shadowing your dad the town’s torturer

[willmackism]

the official 2026-27 schedule for the san jose sharks is now available! (x)

[starrynet]

I feel like people who are dismissive of sports don’t realize that they’re sometimes super condescending. like, okay, you didn’t like gym class and have personal grudges against the jocks from your high school! that doesn’t mean that other people are idiots for enjoying something that, when it’s at its best, can connect you to a broader community of fans and give you a chance to appreciate the athleticism that people are capable of when they spend years honing a specific set of skills. there’s something so valuable and human about sports that gets lost when you reduce it to “sportsball” or whatever

[starrynet]

highlighting some key points that multiple people are missing

[sentimentalslut]

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

[sentimentalslut]

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

[sentimentalslut]

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

[sentimentalslut]

framing these tags and hanging them up in my office to remind me that it can always be worse

[sentimentalslut]

vet med friends i see you and i promise i am trying so hard to not put you in these situations ,,, i think of you every time ,,,

[achillesinhighheels]

[cynids]

nhl offseason in a nutshell so far

bottom ten team: we have just paid a player that no one has ever heard of TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS

jason robertson: no i dont want to be paid 15 million dollars by YOU. who want me tho? no fr who want me?

ducks: we HATE our group

canes: we LOVE our group

half the league: captains? anyone want to be the new captain? no?

kings: i am going to pay a random 40-year-old 8 million dollars a year. yes this is getting us a cup

kraken: well fuck me i guess. worth a shot

connor bedard: i am going to KILL MYSELF

mike grier: well they dont call me big money mike for no reason. you get 8 mil and you get 8 mil and everyone gets 8 mil except for the guys who were alr on the team!

panthers + also gleb for some reason: i am going to KILL EVERYONE ELSE

habs: oui oui puppies! and kittens! and rainbows! and every one of them gets a choco chunk cookie (reasonable contract and term).

danny briere to his ex situationship: "hey... time to run it back... no fr tho... u still want me?" *crickets* "ok watch me money spread. you want me now?"

everyones goalies for some reason: "bye"

elliotte FUCKING friedman: your favorite fourth liner just got sent to HELL for future considerations

dylan larkin: hey so about that trade

[opencasketbasketfries]

@cynids your tagsssss I can’t leave them out 💀

[saviorified]

when a woman points out that sports fans hate women and sports leagues hate women and athletes hate women people will often go "just watch women's sports" and it's a stupid fucking response every single time

[saviorified]

women should be respected in every single sports space, none of these structural issues are solved by just ... sending them somewhere else + the way people say this always comes across as demeaning; watching womens sports is worthwhile on its own, it shouldn’t be prescribed as exile for women who notice that the wider sports world hates them

[cal3ris]

is this gonna get me fired you think

[flyersyaoi]

god please take all of connor bedard’s suffering and give it to the florida panthers

[etheltempest]

they are trying to cancel hank green for saying what ALL hockey fans have been thinking

[etheltempest]

[moveslikekeithrichards]

lately my kids have been playing Baby Knife, which consists of somebody acting as a baby with knife hands chasing people while going "baby knife baby knife" over and over. is this a thing or are they just insane

[moveslikekeithrichards]

we have a new teacher this year who has never had kindergarten before & she rounded em all up & told em No Baby Knife and No Zombies and idk how to tell her that 1. all kindergarten recess games boil down to Give Birth And Kill Each Other and 2. the absurd vaguely inappropriate games they make up are usually better than when they try to play an Actual game like soccer

[moveslikekeithrichards]

Baby Knife is straightforward. theres a baby knife. baby knife chases you. thats about it. when they try to play Real Sports every single child is playing by a different set of rules unbeknownst to the others and none of them are playing by the Actual rules. everybody is mad at everybody else and running up to tell on their colleagues for cheating every 3 minutes. this doesnt happen when they play Baby Knife

[kedreeva]

if no one's said it, it's normal. It's just Tag with flavor. Tag is boring so you gotta add imagination.

Our baby knife as kids was Raptor Tag. Raptors hunt in packs so the person who was "it" had to run around pretending to be a velociraptor and to tag people they had to actually tackle them and "eat" them for 5 full seconds (others could come to the rescue and save them in that time, but risked getting eaten too or instead if the raptor switched targets). Eaten players then became raptors, until the whole pack was teamwork-hunting the last wily or lucky kid. There were no winning survivors- the game was won as a group once everyone was a raptor.

[gallusrostromegalus]

My kindergarten played "wolves" where a pack of 4-12 children, usually all the girls, would try to chase down and "kill" the deer (usually me)

I was bulled extensively in elementary school, but 1. Mostly by my teachers and 2. Not during this, because we ALL had PBS Nature and as Deer, I was allowed to gouge, kick, bite, keep running even after being grabbed, or body-check the larger children into the picnic tables and other architecture.

You know, for realism.

In point of fact, I was usually The Deer because I was the best at evading/ not going down without a fight, whereas most boys would just start crying or tattle, which is no fun at all.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

We were incredibly boring. We played "murder ball" which was just Capture the Flag over the whole school grounds (outdoors only) and violence was permitted using the ball.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#We played Leeches (people run past you and you grab their legs and make them fall)#And Roadkill (body-slam your friends to the ground)#The teachers did not like these games

Your school would've loved Get Down, Mr President

[earhartsease]

we had British Bulldogs which was where one line of kids had to get past another line of kids (and vice versa) and violence was expected, much like we imagine dodgeball to be

[a-chilleus]

Three anti-LGBTQ+ broadcasts on GB News in three weeks. The complaint windows are open. Sixty seconds. Be counted.

GB News called Pride a celebration of paedophilia. Here is a very quick and easy way to complain to Ofcom.

[murphyatthemagpie]

He hasn't changed 😭

[murphyatthemagpie]

But he's not alone now 🥹

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

just once I want to see a good post critiquing makeup culture that doesn’t turn out to be made by some janky radfem blog

oh hey!! I’m not a janky radfem I can do it myself!

makeup culture is wack and normalizes a ludicrously high bar as the bare minimum women can do. I saw a “lazy"makeup tutorial the other day that listed 22 separate goddamn products. you’re supposed to buy and know how to use 22 different things on your face just for the privilege of being considered lazy and that’s uuuuuuh what’s the word? bullshit.

Really, five products could work, even 3. Just frame the face, eyes, lips, and you’re done.

0 products also works great

because I’m gonna be real here, the idea that 22 products is a minimum sucks but it’s really upsetting that any amount of makeup is the bare minimum at all

I would really just suggest some powder foundation, concealer, mascara and lipgloss/lipstick, or tbh just mascara works too, but that’s up to you

I’m sorry if I didn’t express this clearly enough in the original post but I’m not really looking for more concise makeup regiments. my intention was to point out how it’s Bad that makeup is considered a bare minimum at all, regardless of individual feelings on the matter

no face should be “required” to have “a minimum” of makeup. makeup has no health benefits and does nothing but fill the pockets of companies that prey on women and our insecurities.

makeup should not be seen as hygiene because it isnt. get that shit out of your head.

this post: makeup culture is ridiculous and 22 products should not be considered a minimum requirement for someones face. no one should have to do that

the notes: so like……. what youre saying is……. we need to make the minimum about 5 or 6 instead… i gotcha

Really the only makeup you need is eyeliner but that’s just my personal opinion

okay

where did we lose you

why are people like this

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

#nobody survived this post

[official-graveyard-posts]

Official graveyard post

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

stop telling people I’m dead

[feldfrog]

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

[podcastwizard]

LIKES TO CHARGE REBLOGS TO CAST

[berkeleygirl3]