I got pulled over by Officer Malaprop and he gave me a speeding trinket
When you get to court, ask for a mist trial
Judge Malaprop found me not guilty by reason of inanity
noise dept.
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Kiana Khansmith
Jules of Nature
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Claire Keane
Misplaced Lens Cap
occasionally subtle
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TVSTRANGERTHINGS
hello vonnie

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art blog(derogatory)
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
RMH
wallacepolsom

roma★

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@themyrmor
I got pulled over by Officer Malaprop and he gave me a speeding trinket
When you get to court, ask for a mist trial
Judge Malaprop found me not guilty by reason of inanity
“A kiss may be grand, but it won’t pay the rental, on your humble flat, or help you at the automat.”
Like literally the most famous song about how much girls love jewellry is just explaining the importance of getting jewellry for when your partner leaves you penniless and alone.
The founder of Girl Scouting in the US, Juliette Gordon Low, funded her first troop by selling her pearl necklace, which was her only belonging after her husband died and left everything to his mistress.
She founded Girl Scouts to teach girls self-sufficiency so they wouldn’t have to go through what she went through when her husband died and she didn’t know how to take care of herself.
While we’re on the subject, let’s please also remember that historically disenfranchised communities who had to worry about frequently being run out of town often bought expensive jewelry with their limited funds not because they were greedy or tacky or classless, but rather because you can’t sew a real estate investment into the lining of your coat, and the powers that be can’t freeze a diamond necklace the way that they can freeze a bank account.
Speaking as a jeweler in America right now, I cannot tell you how many people are buying jewelry as an emergency fund. The business my spouse started and I’ve been helping with for nigh on 20 years now, we sell to the queer community. Other people, sure, but I cannot tell you how many queer folks I’ve made jewelry for.
And they are buying as much as they can right now. Genderweird people, gay men, bi folks in same gender marriages, lesbians, anyone who looks around and realizes that the noose is tightening? They’re buying what they can afford. Sometimes a little more than they can afford.
People are asking about metal purity in our jewelry. This has never happened before, not even during the first trump debacle. People are worried, wondering how they can get out if things go real bad. And I tell them how to sell their stuff for cash if they need to. How to find places that won’t cheat them.
How to get the most out of the jewelry they already have.
They play it off as a joke, most of the time, and I’ll play along to make sure they’re comfortable, but we all know the joke is only funny because it’s true.
I have warned people that they won’t get what they paid back. People who buy jewelry are trying to make money, and they don’t care about the hours put into hand crafting a piece. They care about the metal, the stones, and not much else. Folks I tell this to understand, and sometimes ask if we sell bullion. Or coins. Something that they can use in the emergency they expect is coming.
I wish I didn’t have to do this. I wish more people worried about what it says when people are planning on fleeing their homes with only what they have on their back. I wish I didn’t have a plan for what happens when my genderqueer ass is declared illegal.
But I do.
WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS MY FAVORITE TELEVISION SERIES OF ALL TIME (it's not out yet)
for no reason whatsoever here’s a reminder that if you consider yourself a leftist/punk/abolitionist/anarchist/radical in any sort of way and get called into jury duty, you are to become the most square person on earth during the jury questionnaire!!!
don’t be that guy who says fuck the police in the jury questionnaire! that just gets you sent home! if you want to generate change, interact with the case and use your jury vote for good! ESPECIALLY if it’s a high profile case!
Remember, when you're on the jury, a good "that cop's story didn't add up" will sway a lot more Chads and Karens than "fuck the police."
Had jury duty, can confirm!
An innocent man is home with his family instead of spending his kids' whole childhoods in jail for "resisting arrest" when none of the cops could agree on why he was being arrested in the first place. (But it definitely had nothing to do with him being a Black man in a nice car, honest! 🙄)
And it still took like two hours of delibration after we'd heard all the evidence because one lady was so gung ho about believing everything the cops said, even when not a single goddamn one could agree with their own testimony, let alone their colleagues'.
Pointing out all the inconsistencies and admitted misconduct and letting people slowly come to their own conclusions as the trial played out was fucking hard, I won't lie. I can be patient, but it doesn't come naturally to me.
But. Yelling about how this was obviously a bs case would have shut everyone down and made them stop listening. Asking questions and letting people discuss how the cops tried to make xyz sound suspicious but it was totally normal, or about how if things played out the way the cops said then logically events should have proceeded in a totally different direction, and positing different theories that actually lined up with the evidence presented?
That got people thinking, and everyone realized that for a variety of reasons we all had reasonable doubts that the defendent had committed any of the crimes of which he was accused.
Being able to raise reasonable doubt among a jury of one's peers saves lives. If you get the chance, take it.
"Jury Room / The Holdout" (1959) by Norman Rockwell. One of my favorites of his. Particularly the gendered dynamic he depicts here.
can we bring back the term "fair-weather friend" bc I feel like if fair-weather friends got called that more this whole argument about whether or not you should be there for your friends when it's inconvenient/at what point of personal inconvenience it's ok to bail on your friends would kinda fall apart bc like. we literally have a word for "friend who's only there when you don't need something from them" because the baseline expectation is that a friend should be there even when it sucks. like we used to make fun of people for bailing on their friends.
Yeah no I get it
"good" cops don't last
Oh, this definitely belongs on Tumblr.
From the Nib, by Mattie Lubchansky
I don't know that I've ever seen someone make the Aardman Grimace in real life.
Truly a masterclass in harrowingly strained enthusiasm!
I do think it’s funny that when I look at my cat something happens in my brain that approximates to
Analyzing: Cute —>
Cute = [Human Infant] —>
Evolutionary Pressure = Prepare [Human Infant] to Survive —>
Evolution as a Social Species = Communication Essential to Survival
Conclusion: Teach [Human Infant] to Communicate via Speech —>
Production: Enunciated Vocal Sounds and Exaggerated Vowels to Encourage Speech in [Human Infant] —>
“Hell-OHHHHHHH! How are YOUUUU. I loooove you.”
Die temu ad die
Hmm. Accidentally looks like latin.
It accidentally is latin
Accidental latin is my new favourite thing.
Found this in the margins of a medieval manuscript.
This is a very charming illustration and I do approve of Accidental Latin, but unfortunately, that is not what this (Fake) Accidental Latin actually says. Google Translate seems to think "temu" is identical to "timor" (infinitive, "to fear"), which would then be conjugated in first-person singular as "timeo" ("I fear"). "Temu" is not a word in Latin. So that is a very weird leap on Google Translate's part to turn gibberish into... something vaguely etymologically similar sounding? Hmm.
Next, "die" does mean "day," though nominative singular is "dies," i.e. "dies irae." It could be conjugated "die" if it was in ablative or locative case, but "die ad die" would mean something more like "day to day." "Ad" is in a "to" direction and "ab" is from, i.e. "ab urbis," and ablative case is used to indicate the movement of a thing. In short, "by" is not really a way to translate "ad"; we might want "per" here? (Through, by means of, etc.)
Not to mention, it would be weird to put one "die" at the start and another at the end The verb also usually goes at the end in Latin sentences, just for that extra bit of fun. So yes, in short, this is not actually Latin, and Google Translate is very bad at Latin in particular. Nonetheless, still charming.
@theshitpostcalligrapher
Agree, @qqueenofhades, except on the matter of breaking “die ad die” apart. It’s a common structure in poetic and oratorical Latin to jam one phrase in the middle of another. I can’t think of an example exactly parallel to this construction, but I could believe a Roman poet would write it!
Ah, that is true. My Latin is of the reading-medieval-documents (particularly charters and/or chronicles) variety, where the sentence and usage structures are often more formulaic and there is less poetic license to move words around. There is obviously far less fixity for word order in Latin, since the conjugations explain how they grammatically relate to each other rather than placement in the sentence. (Coincidentally, this is why I used to say that the best feeling in the world was walking past a Latin classroom and not having to go inside it. Ahem.)
So yes: true that poetical Latin might be more at liberty to split the "die"-s up that far, though "timeo" (verb) is still more likely in most cases to go at the end, which would place them together anyway ("die ad die timeo," "day to day I fear" if translated in strict word order, which would make sense to an English speaker and sound more poetic anyway). Keep in mind, however, that my Latin is a) fairly rusty and b) mostly used for said formulaic legal document reading rather than freeform verse, so don't super-hard quote me on this.
I saw that ablative “die” and that final -u on “temu” and thought of the ablative supine (as in “mirabile dictu”) but as you observe, there isn’t a verb that “temu” could be, and then also, the ablative supine requires an adjective, as far as I know.
But perhaps “temu” is a hapax legomenon (in which case we would need the rest of the text to gloss it) or a scribal error for temeratu, from temero, “I defile or disgrace”. In that case, and in true Tumblr form, I might translate it as “daily I disgrace, in the manner of the day”, with some errors attributable to the scribe.
....oh my god. You might be a genius. Because what else does Tumblr do but daily disgrace [itself, oneself, and/or numerous others] in the manner of the day, and make numerous scribal errors.
how dare you say we error on the scribes
this is what happens when you buy your latin on temu
Winry, trying to help Ed after losing his arm and leg: Can you rate your pain for me?
Ed, heavily breathing: Zero stars.
Winry:
Ed: Would not recommend?
It baffles me how so many grown adults seem to believe AI is 100% reliable and never wrong. ‘Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in?’/‘Have you tried turning it off and on again?’ was a huge meme when I first began using the internet because technology shits the bed in a myriad of ways for no particular reason at all. If your GPS can try to send you down a street that you can’t turn on to and your phone randomly freezes and your laptop periodically gives you the blue screen of death, why the fuck would you trust artificial intelligence to make all the important decisions in your life?
Semi-related note but I hate that society is shifting further and further away from having analogue backups to anything, especially the medical field. There was that software outage last year and my physiatrist casually admitted to me she did not know what patients she was seeing that day and at what time because it was all saved electronically and dependent on the Internet and mentally I was like. Oh. That’s really bad.
That is DIABOLICAL museum design, A++, no notes
um actually there's nothing wrong with letting cats be outdoor pets. your cat is depressed locked inside forever. it's animal abuse. let it outside. more cats should be let outside more often. especially overnight.
This was my art school’s water fountain. Drink from them wolf tiddies
Assignment misunderstood. I have now built a city.
Give it a day
As I get older, the entire moral arc of Return of the Jedi irks me more and more, even without getting to see Anakin's actual atrocities in the prequels or the fact that his act of defiance barely even mattered in the sequels.
I remember an Expanded Universe comic set immediately after RotJ where Leia tells Luke words to the effect of "Vader literally had me tortured and blew up my homeworld. What, am I supposed to feel kinship with him just because I discovered he's my dad yesterday?"
The important thing that happens in Return of the Jedi is that the Emperor dies and the planet-killing superweapon gets blown up. Vader spent the last two hours of his life doing something good after 25 years of genocide, mass murder and torture, and even then, it was partly out of vengeful hatred. Vader fucking hated Palpatine for a quarter century and never had the spine to do anything about it. It was only after his own son was being tortured to death in front of him that he chose to act - and he'd cut off the kid's hand like two years before that! That's not a fucking redemption arc.
Darth Vader the fucking child-killing planet-murderer gets to stand there with Yoda and Obi-Wan as a Force Ghost, give me a fucking break.
"My father's name was Bail Organa, actually."
I have a whole other post I did about the original Star Wars trilogy that is relevant to this, but I'll try condense it:
So one, yes, absolutely it is entirely correct to take issue with Darth Vader's apparent forgiveness by the Force, there is no need for Leia to accept him as her father or to feel anything for him besides hate and contempt, redemption takes more than turning back for a couple of hours and then getting out of culpability by dying, all fair.
That said: the original trilogy is Luke Skywalker's story and the story of Luke Skywalker, on a meta level, is about being a young adult in the 60s and 70s who did not experience WWII or the depths of fascism personally, but who grew up with gaping familial wounds - family members who you never knew but who older people refer to or talk around, people they compare you to, figures who other children had in their lives but you didn't. Someone who as a child was given fantasies of heroes fighting daring battles, who was told it was all about nationhood and fighting for your people and the course of civilization, someone who internalized those principles as guiding lights for their own morality and who they want to be... and THEN finding out when you become an adult, and are permitted to know about the horrors, that it is not just honor and glory in your heritage, that you, 70s white boy, may have evil and darkness and the corruption of all your values as a potential to fall into just as your father did, the temptation to hate and cruelty and domination and atrocity. And the absences in your family are maybe not just because of death, of noble sacrifice, but perhaps instead because those people who shared your blood became monsters, severed from their family because of their terrible actions, and still live as awful hateful versions of themselves, enslaved to evil, and that could be you.
And what do you do with that? Will you strike your father down with all of your hatred, when the thing that corrupted him by his hate for its own ends is sitting there grinning and laughing, waiting to do the same to you? Is violence the answer against that creature, infinitely better at taking advantage from violence than you are? Or will you just die - and even just walking away here means death, sooner or later - and let the evil persist?
Or will you, privileged young person with ideals and hopes, with a family member who has done terrible unforgivable things but who still holds affection for you, make use of that affection to tempt them to just turn their back on that evil for a moment, the thing it will never expect from the person it made its slave for longer than you've been alive? Neither you nor he can pay back the crimes of those years, but perhaps you can stop the evil, here and now, from going on.
So you do that. And what is your reward? Is it appropriate for Luke, whose whole story has been about becoming the ideal he grew up admiring and defeating the evil that ideal had the potential to become, both halves of it embodied in the being of his father, to come back to his friends and then have the universe say to him 'your father was unredeemable, and had nothing good enough in him to deserve peace in death'? Or to say there was a darkness lifted from him, and a light restored?
The whole purpose of Darth Vader in the story of the original trilogy is to represent who Luke could be, and through Luke, the audience. He wasn't really supposed to have a character arc of his own, his redemption isn't for his own sake, the story isn't about him - or wasn't meant to be originally, in any case. How you depict the fate of Darth Vader is something that sends a very strong message, and there's a reason why it was chosen as the final message of the original movies, in the context of the world in which those movies were made and who they were intended to be speaking to. If you change that, you change the message. Which you can do! And you can take issue with the original message! But like, there was a message, that was chosen purposefully, and you have to lose the original message to add a new one.
This rebuttal is really good, but I actually think it also works as the culmination of Anakin/Vader’s arc… when you understand the message ISN’T “one good deed absolves years of atrocities”: It’s that it’s never too late to do the right thing, and be a better person.
It doesn’t mean people will forgive you - hell no. The things Vader did were unforgivable, and he knew that. But because of that, he believed the only path left was to keep committing atrocities, to wallow in self-hatred and anger for decades and take it out on the galaxy. He says it himself: “It’s too late for me, son”.
But what Luke shows Vader is that we ALWAYS have a choice: To be a better person, and to choose compassion. Anakin doesn’t kill the Emperor out of hatred, or even because he thinks it’ll make up for anything he did: He knows nothing ever will. He chooses to save Luke, and break the cycle of violence because it’s the right, kind thing to do.
Vader/Anakin isn’t fully redeemed by the end of Return of the Jedi: He simply takes his first step back into the light. Obi-Wan and Yoda chose to give him that second chance, but that was their decision to make. The people you hurt are by NO means obligated to forgive you - but you should still strive to be better regardless.
And I think that’s the message of Anakin’s sacrifice: No matter what we’ve done, we always have a choice to break the cycle and be better, with no expectation of forgiveness.
Vader/Anakin spent twenty years trapped in a cult/high-control situation/relationship with a malignantly evil, manipulative man who has been heavily involved in his life since he was a teenager---complete with medical control, by the way---and locked up by his guilt over things he was guided to do thinking they were necessary or righteous at the time.
And at the end of his life he took the terrifying step of freeing himself from it in a desperate effort to prevent a loved one from suffering. Should he have done that before? Absolutely. Could he have? I doubt it.
Few people---thankfully---are given the necessity of enduring their own failures at such a magnitude. It is NOT always easy to be good, and sometimes someone puts real effort into making it seemingly impossible. Humans often fail in that regard. Often.
But he saved the galaxy from the NEXT twenty years of the rule of the Sith, the absence of the Jedi, the overwhelm of the Empire, the destruction of more planets by the Death Star.
The fact he didn't save the galaxy from the FIRST twenty years of it doesn't erase that.
Leia doesn't have to forgive him, or see him as her father. But the message of Star Wars is, as stated above, that you're never too late to do better. Even, or perhaps especially, if you think it can never be enough.
Hell, sometimes the previous failure is what puts you in place to be a current success at it. Just as Han Solo's departure from the battle of Yavin let him enter the battle completely unexpectedly and land the hit that saved Luke from Vader in the trench run, Vader's presence as the Emperor's second-in-command and Sith apprentice, his loyalty to the Empire unimpeachable, put him in a position to successfully kill the Emperor---and, being the other Sith himself, to end their reign.
Sometimes your failures lead you where your successes wouldn't, and sometimes that's an important place to be.
[Image transcript follows]
"It really has to do with learning. Children teach you compassion. They teach you to love unconditionally. Anakin can't be redeemed for all the pain and suffering he's caused. He doesn't right the wrongs, but he stops the horror. The end of the Saga is simply Anakin saying, 'I care about this person, regardless of what it means to me. I will throw away everything that I have, everything that I have grown to love - primarily the Emperor - and throw away my life, to save this person. And I'm doing this because he has faith in me, loves me despite all the horrible things I've done. I broke his mother's heart, but he still cares about me, and I can't let that die.'
Anakin is very different in the end. The thing of it: The prophecy was right. Anakin was the Chosen One, and he does bring balance to the Force. He takes the ounce of good still left in him and destroys the Emperor out of compassion for his son."
George Lucas, The Making Of Revenge Of The Sith; page 221
You’re completely correct. Out of my way, able-bodied losers. Fuck you.
It's called an EZRide+ and you can learn where to find them here. They're about $1100 US as of June 2026, but you might need to buy additional parts to attach them to your chair, depending on the style of chair.
Remember to put links to products like this, they're usually hard to find and a lot of people need to know they exist.
This makes me think of a college friend who got her bf to help her soup up her motorized wheelchair. They took the governor off the motor, and flipped the plexiglass laptray up to serve as a windshield. She got herself a helmet and took it out on the road, with bf following in his car.
She blew thru a school zone and got PULLED OVER. The cop was laughing so hard he could barely talk. 'kid do you know how fast you were going?' 'no! tell me!'
Gentle readers, she GOT A TICKET for going nearly 30 in a 15 mph zone. I have never seen anyone more proud in my life than she was when she rolled up into the campus grill waving that ticket like a battle flag. :D