Bold of you to assume

that I know what I'm talking about

[meanplastic]

[dorfs]

why is this so fucking funny

[mjalti]

only sexy bitches sit on kitchen counters that’s the law

[slimy]

[hyrude]

you fuckinng dumbasses are wearing glasses during sex?

am i expected to find the g spot by echolocation? 

[newtgeiszler]

you looking inside the pussy with your eyes? you crawling in there like antman?

[janeplease]

*throws rocks at God’s window* hey! Why did u make me

[pidge-gunson-deactivated2018010]

Frankenstein by Mary Shelly

[sickfuture]

[rudescience]

I am beginning to think boston dynamics is just fucking around at this point. 

[nerdjpg]

[sarahconnorjr]

[partywithponies]

Me, refusing to leave tumblr: sir, this is my emotional support hellsite

[localstarboy]

“wyd after work”

sleeping for work tomorrow

[left-reminders]

[muppetmolly]

Enchantress: I turn you into a hideous Beast. What are the names of your servants?

The Prince: Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts -

Enchantress:

[pastelparrotlet]

Sometimes you have to just treat yourself like an overtired toddler.

“Okay, as soon as you finish this assignment you can take a little nap.”

“You just cleaned your room, good job!”

“Hmm..maybe eating a snack will stop you from wanting to cry.”

[cutlerydeficient]

Sometimes? I think you mean all of the time.

[checkkonetwo]

I just googled “college christmas trees” and I found some gems that needed to be shared

and my personal favorite

[toasthag]

me .01 seconds after emphatically saying yes to plans

[hymnsofheresy]

peace be with y’all

[hymnsofheresy]

you. you get it. 

[sugajimin]

the most beautiful gummy smile (cr.sandyfor_)

[automatically]

walking a drunk friend like

[personagfs-deactivated20210107]

can you see him GLOWING!!!!! 💖💖💖💖