dwight fairfield, nervous leader.

as penned by rue, 29, gmt.

[thenervousleader]

moved.

[thenervousleader]

i'm moving dwight to my multi @ohsunshine

this was inevitable lol. it's not because of lack of muse for him but because i frankly can't be bothered to switch accounts.

[thenervousleader]

what form of love do you embody?

love as light

[ love as a luminous force—warm, radiant, and golden ] when mary oliver wrote "light of the world hold me” and when charles bukowski said “I look at her and light goes all through me” and when david viscott said “to love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides”and when e. e. cummings said “lovers alone wear sunlight”

[heraldic-thunderbolt]

sick of my own vibes

[asoldieronce-blog]

I hate when people say “survivor”.

Because “Survivor” means that you made it out

And I dont think all of me did.

[screenshotsofdespair]

[wearepaladin]

[sweatermuppet]

every day i get my heart ripped out & every day i simply just continue

[sweatermuppet]

so much unprocessed grief so little human contact something more happens something awful or sad & you think you don't even have any room left to ache properly you let yourself have one quick sob & u plunge your hands back into the sink & wash the dishes & the next day it's the same. more of the same

[gut-instinnnct]

you’re an open wound and you’ll stay an open wound as long as you’re alive. you will exist only in pain.

your death will not be a kind one.

[basketcasemp3]

Listen to me, you’re part of the treat yourself team now, okay? If that costume somehow makes you happy, you’re gonna buy it. And you’re gonna wear it out of the store, okay? You’re gonna treat yourself.

PARKS AND RECREATION 4.04 • Pawnee Rangers

[thenervousleader]

“checklist” ( wesker / melpcmene )

I find you to be:

[ ] interesting [ ] cute [x ] attractive [ ] sexy [ ] reassuring [x] intimidating [ ] annoying [ ] tedious [x] terrifying

I think we should:

[ ] talk more [ ] hang out more [ ] date [ ] adopt each other as found family [ ] fight (friendly) [ ] fight (hostile) [x] avoid each other if at all possible

If we spent an evening together we would:

[x] just hang out [x] talk about deep stuff [ ] cuddle [ ] go to bed together (to sleep) [ ] go to bed together (to… not sleep) [ ] go out and party till sunrise [ ] both get arrested [ ] probably wind up killing each other

If we kissed it would be:

[x] a chaste press of lips [ ] a playful smooch [ ] swift and stolen [ ] deep, sweet, and sincerely meant [ ] all teeth and tongue and hot as heck [x] not happening

If we had sex it would be:

[ ] romantic and luxurious [ ] fast, rough and hard [ ] against the nearest wall [x] fantastic [ ] awkward [x] a really bad idea [ ] an all-around disaster [x] not happening

If I woke up and found you unexpectedly in my bed I would:

[ ] cuddle you [x] offer you breakfast (awkwardly) [ ] attempt to seduce you [ ] kick you out [x] demand to know how you got there [ ] scream

idk this is for both dbd and re verses.

[thenervousleader]

Checklist :)

I find you to be:

[ ] interesting [ ] cute [ ] attractive [ ] sexy [ ] reassuring [x] intimidating [ ] annoying [ ] tedious [x] terrifying

I think we should:

[ ] talk more [ ] hang out more [ ] date [ ] adopt each other as found family [ ] fight (friendly) [ ] fight (hostile) [x] avoid each other if at all possible

If we spent an evening together we would:

[ ] just hang out [ ] talk about deep stuff [ ] cuddle [ ] go to bed together (to sleep) [ ] go to bed together (to… not sleep) [ ] go out and party till sunrise [ ] both get arrested [ ] probably wind up killing each other [x] other: have a terrible time

If we kissed it would be:

[ ] a chaste press of lips [ ] a playful smooch [ ] swift and stolen [ ] deep, sweet, and sincerely meant [ ] all teeth and tongue and hot as heck [xxxxxxxxxxxx] not happening

If we had sex it would be:

[ ] romantic and luxurious [ ] fast, rough and hard [ ] against the nearest wall [ ] fantastic [ ] awkward [x] a really bad idea [x] an all-around disaster [xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] not happening

If I woke up and found you unexpectedly in my bed I would:

[ ] cuddle you [ ] offer you breakfast [ ] attempt to seduce you [x] kick you out [x] demand to know how you got there [x] scream

[dr-whitaker]

emily’s 1k celebration post ➥ @penbeatssword asked: ❓ Ben Wyatt or Chidi Anagonye

#a curated gifset of my favorite ben wyatt moments 👌

[thenervousleader]

i really want dwight to reunite with someone he once knew, either in the entity's realm or once he's escaped.

[thenervousleader]

thinking about dwight post-fog and the violence there had to leave scars... i know something heals them between trials but outside the entity's influence, i think some after-effects of the trials will make themselves known: hook-scars, rough, calloused fingers from working on the generators, various weapon scars on his torso. they look old, properly healed, but they're pretty big masses of scar tissue that he hates to look at.

his shoulders are stiff and sore in the cold/damp, and he sometimes finds it difficult to sleep because of the ache. (not that he's a particularly easy sleeper post-fog anyway...)

[thenervousleader]

thinking about dwight post-fog and the violence there had to leave scars... i know something heals them between trials but outside the entity's influence, i think some after-effects of the trials will make themselves known: hook-scars, rough, calloused fingers from working on the generators, various weapon scars on his torso. they look old, properly healed, but they're pretty big masses of scar tissue that he hates to look at.

his shoulders are stiff and sore in the cold/damp, and he sometimes finds it difficult to sleep because of the ache. (not that he's a particularly easy sleeper post-fog anyway...)

[thenervousleader]

👻 - How does your muse handle feeling scared? Do they enjoy horror? Do they believe in the paranormal? What calms your muse down? Do they have any scary stories?

dwight hates horror. pre-fog, he avoided horror media as much as possible. but no, he didn't believe in the paranormal or really that there was anything more than live/sleep/work unhappily in a shitty job/die. when in trials, he handles his own fear by focusing on the others. he's always muttering reassurances (this helps him too, but it's mainly for the other's sake), and he'll actively put himself in harm's way in order to protect his teammates. this terrifies him - it always hurts no matter how many times he's downed/hooked, but it helps him to have something to focus on. post-fog, he knows know that the 'paranormal' exists, although he hates the fact that there's probably more than just the entity's realm and he doesn't know about it. (his mag/nus arch/ives verse is post-fog and he ends up working as a researcher specifically to try and protect people from whatever might be out there). as for things that calm him down - talking to other people (which is a double-edged sword because he's prone to isolating himself/doesn't naturally open up to people about the Big Things like Feelings). he doesn't really have any scary stories (except in post-fog verses obviously - but he's very very unlikely to tell anyone else what happened to him because they'll think he's bonkers).

[thenervousleader]

@korinthiakos sent:

❰❰ PIN ❱❱ sender pins receiver during a fight/training

It's not like Dwight, but he fights back. He's down, bleeding sluggishly into the dry, yellow grass, and he feels so terribly hopeless. It's been ten years to the day of being hunted and murdered and there's no end in sight, no chance or hope of escape; it's enough to make even the most timid, mild-mannered man furious.

When the Corinthian comes to hook him, he grabs a rock from the ground and smashes it against their temple with all the strength left in his worn, weak body. He thinks of all the times his friends have died, all the times he's died, and he swings again.

The rock falls to the ground with a dull thump. He's still bleeding, so much so that he's dizzy with it, but he's not going to give up.

Dwight scrambles up, reaching for the rock again, but his head spins and he topples, inelegantly sprawling across the ground. When he's able to see straight again, he's pinned to the ground with a heavy foot on the back of his neck.

"Get off," he snaps, desperate and so, so angry. "You have no idea what it's like. None. I'm so f-- I'm so fucking tired of it all. Let me go."