trying on a metaphor
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
dirt enthusiast
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
No title available
No title available
#extradirty
Mike Driver
KIROKAZE
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
taylor price
DEAR READER
⁂
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Claire Keane
No title available
sheepfilms
Sweet Seals For You, Always
$LAYYYTER
d e v o n
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Colombia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Tunisia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Pakistan
seen from Singapore
seen from Lithuania
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from Finland
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seen from Malaysia
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@thepartthatsalwayshidden
Did you guys know Elon Musk sent that STUPID car into space without sterilizing it, and if it hadn’t gone off it’s intended path, and it had reached mars as he intended, it could have permanently ruined the search for life on Mars by contaminating the red planet with Musk‘s cooties. This may sound silly to you but I assure this is very real and serious. He could have ruined the entire field of astrobiology all for his stupid advertisement. Let’s kill him
will olaf and minions ever end. will i be forced to live the rest of my life occasionally seeing olaf and minions
Said the Baudelaire children.
The Pacific Ocean is wider than the Moon. Anyway how’s your day going?
dip moon like cookie
One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.
And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”
He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.
during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard
When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”
She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”
He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”
Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”
ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid
i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”
I saw him live at my college. During his show he shouted something, which spooked a service dog in training that someone had brought with them (the dogs are common on campus, cause they are learning how to socialize and be in large crowds without reacting). Seeing the dog had been scared he apologized and asked the dog’s name. Upon hearing the dogs name was “Blanket” he about lost his god damn mind he was so happy. throughout the show he kept checking on Blanket. It was adorable.
This is my favorite version of this thread now
John Mulaney is a fucking blessing.
stop i NEED that pic of the boy who took his cat to prom and she has a lil dress and is looking up at him with 100% love and tenderness……..
there she is!!!!!!!
love……..tenderness…….
@ every girl who thinks “maybe I’m being paranoid” about ur instincts about a guy.... you’re not.
apple TV and disney plus are pushing me back to piracy. streaming almost made an honest woman out of me... but it’s time to sin
that’s cute.... *hikes skirt up a little higher* i’ll show you REAL piracy
*family sits down to watch a movie together*
80 executives: THEY JUST CAN’T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT, THEY JUST CAN’T!
Sometimes I see a rom-com poster and the man looks so smug that I want his character dead. Idgaf that he’s the love interest. I don’t trust him and I want him Gone.
I need you to know that I’m so wine drunk that I first read the post as this
And I was just like absolutely
Oh that’s infinitely better than my original post and god it is so true
Reblog if you would wait with him in the rain
He inside tho
He doesnt want to get wet
why is he floating, also
Maybe he has a medical condition, mind your business
Numb // Linkin Park 80s Remix
I didn’t know how much I needed this until I heard it.
The original song is how depression felt at first, this version is how it feels now
@l-heure-du-the this is so VIOLENTLY your fucking aesthetic
From “… nothing matters…” to “NOTHING MATTERS! :D”
Ominous positivity
You will be okay. You have no choice.
Everything will turn out fine. You cannot stop it.
You will succeed. It is inevitable.
okay but waking up in the middle of the night to soft rain and knowing you’ve still got hours to sleep, when you’re toasty warm and comfortable & sleep has made you forget all your worries and responsibilities and u go back to sleep feeling as content as ever
Source For more facts, follow Ultrafacts
nobel prize worthy work
Here’s a diagram from the original paper.
Here’s the full article:
http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0088458
