Thoughts and Shit

This is always going to be whatever I decide it to be at that moment. Nothing more or less. Occasional nsfw. I have a porn blog. This is not it.

[lavidaextraordinaria]

What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us?

[frenchshower]

My science teacher said he thinks that’s true actually

[thepioden]

Yeah this is actually pretty much exactly what is going on. It’s why anti-oxidants are such a big deal. Bonus fact: oxygen oxidizes stuff in your cells or, in other words, it’s not toxic, just setting you on fire very very slowly.

[sarah-mcelroy-deactivated202601]

[femonologue]

What if there are aliens out there but they subsist on entirely different substances and they’re just scared as shit of us and our crazy ass hell planet? Once in a while some alien anthropologist type suggests checking out the people on this inhabited planet out towards the galaxy’s edge. The other aliens just look at the naive academic with horror. No!! We do not go to that world. That is where the DEATH BREATHERS live. They recreationally consume poisons and are more or less composed of biological fire. Their atmosphere is made of rocket fuel. We must leave the DEATH BREATHERS in peace. Do not go there. Do not.

[optimysticals]

I tend to always reblog posts about humans being terrifying weirdos to aliens.

[alessariel]

@brainsforbabyjesus

[brainsforbabyjesus]

okay but…that is actually what went down on earth about 2.5 billion years ago.

Earth was doing just fine with a mostly nitrogen/carbon dioxide atmosphere and everyone was happy to go on living in anaerobic bliss and then cyanobacteria suddenly hit the scene, altered the atmosphere composition so that there was a ton of oxygen gas and killed practically everything (97% or more of all species on earth).

We are literally descendants of the DEATH BREATHERS and cyanobacteria is our deadly mother.

[digitaldiscipline]

The cyanobacteria holocaust is so big, it doesn’t even have a cool name; it’s just called “The Great Oxygenation Event”; the *second* most apocalyptic extinction event in our planet’s history is the one that’s called THE GREAT DYING (the Permian-Triassic event, about 252 million years ago).

This shit makes like the rock-throwing that wiped out the dinosaurs look like kindergarten.

[violent-darts]

OH HOW I LOVE THIS POST. It makes me so much happier about being alive. I AM BURNING VERY SLOWLY. *hugs it*

[cannedcream]

And once again, the internet makes learning history and science a thousand times more interesting than school ever did.

[tsvrcm-deactivated20161229]

I love shit like this.

[department-of-fagriculture]

I was totally having thoughts along these lines and along comes tumblr to pretty much sum it all up. Bravo~

[madeofmxxnlight]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[movementnudge]

*nudges you to move*

[memeuplift]

[such-justice-wow]

Dust bunny

[nonenosome2]

How did I miss that?

[such-justice-wow]

You lack my quick wit and fat ass

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

PHRASE ADDED!

"You lack my quick wit and fat ass"

[gay-mormon-wizard]

today I used the phrase "breasting boobily" in casual real life conversation and everyone was shocked asking how I came up with that and I had to explain it. ive been at the devil's sacrament so long that I forgot he wasn't god

[lets-burn-down-the-post-office]

“I’ve been at the devil’s sacrament so long I forgot he wasn’t god” is getting added to the tumblr line book

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

it sure fuckin is buddy

PHRASE ADDED TO INVENTORY!

[detected-on-reddit]

You've been posted on r/CuratedTumblr! They're torn between liking it and being annoyed by it. Here's a link to the post.

Top 3 comments:

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

i did notice this! my gimmick is in fact primarily pointing at other peoples' jokes and saying 'funny. now laugh' and people keep following me for it

[ezra-didntreallyfall]

She drinks red bull I drink monster she's cheer captain and i am a lobster

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

CHARACTERS ADDED!

Cheer Captain (equipped with Red Bull)

Lobster (equipped with Monster)

[redstonedust]

woke up dehydrated and deliriously thought "i need to call my senator about this." notably im not american i don't have a senator but even if i did what's he gonna do, deliver fresh water straight to my mouth? make the sun be less warm?

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

PHRASE ADDED!

"i need to call my senator about this" [in reference to completely non senator-related status effects]

[aninals]

skateboard will be so fictionalized that people forget we all have one inside of us. like the war of course but like they arent just fantasy creatures.... its just In There

[aninals]

hey. So skeletons may have autocorrected to skateboard,

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

PHRASE ADDED!

"Hi. Skateboard?"

CHARACTER ADDED!

Skateboards (Real) (Not Fictional) (Everyone Has One) (Living Inside of You)

[burgundyquills]

That last bit is like a poem to me

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

Skateboard (Not Fictional) (Fictionalized)

Skateboard (Ubiquitous) (Living Inside)

Skateboard (Spelled Perfectly) (Post Button Hit)

Skateboard (Hi. Question mark.) (SKELETONS. SHIT)

[scottbaiowulf-deactivated201805]

Male writers writing female characters:

“Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards.”

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

PHRASE ADDED TO INVENTORY!

BONUS!!! BIOSPHERE PERMANENTLY ALTERED!

[noccolibroccoli]

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

PHRASE ADDED!

"They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy"

CHARACTER ADDED!

Shamu (No, Not That One) (Against Tumblr Guidelines For Some Reason?) (Got A Hysterectomy)

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[vacueabissi]

[unicarcass-archive]

i want to know what kind of effects eating hot cheeto macaroni and drinking orange joe in the same meal would have on my body

[unicarcass-archive]

i have regrettably partaken in the joe not once,

but twice (bottled soda was OBJECTIVELY worse)

and the hotcheeto macaroni knocked me out for 12 hours

if i have both of these in the same meal i think i will be knocked into a

shitters coma

[unicarcass-archive]

eulogy for my bowels, 2022

see you all in the next life

[unicarcass-archive]

[unicarcass-archive]

following up on this post ~8 months later with the fact that im now physically missing portions of my intestines from my body

[joyousjoyfuljoyness]

Had to sketch this dude...

Can't get enough of the capys!

[joyousjoyfuljoyness]

Still obsessed with the capybaras!

[gaylor-moon]

[grippy3000]

fun fact one of the world champions in pepper-eating contests is a trans woman and she actually faced significant backlash because people somehow thought she had a biological advantage. to eating spicy pepper

[grippy3000]

update bc i went back and checked: her name is brianna “the chilli queen” skinner and she set a record in 2017 by slamming back 23 carolina reapers consecutively. she only stopped when told to by the referees, and the next year she stepped down out of boredom. queen

[pettyartist]

Here's a picture of her, by the way

And her super supportive wife

[nentuaby]

The championship, it should be noted, is unisex. Apparently being a trans woman gives you an innate biological advantage over both cis men and cis women.

[vexwerewolf]

The innate biological advantage of being cool as fuck

[m--ood-deactivated20181217]

Firefighter demonstrates how to put out a kitchen fire

[chronotriggerwarning-deactivate]

Reblog to actually save a life

[khaldurahm-kal-el]

To explain. The latter works because you’re cutting off the supply of oxygen to the fire and suffocating it

as opposed to slapping oxygen inside the pan with the downward motion

[norealdestination]

Reblogging, because this is so important. When I was learning how to cook for myself in my tweens, I had at least a five years of fire safety seminars from school drilling this into my head, and I STILL had that instinctive put-the-fire-out-with-water reflex. Didn’t even think. I saw our oily burner catch fire after frying eggs, whipped around towards the sink for water, and my brain immediately screamed NO!!! NO WATER! I mean that fire safety stuff straight up bitchslapped me out of REFLEXIVELY setting my house on fire. I found a pot lid and inched it over the burner before turning off the heat. Even if you think you know this stuff, panic is powerful shit. Make knowledge more powerful.

[postcards-from-absurdland]

“Even if you think you know this stuff, panic is powerful shit. Make knowledge more powerful.”

[the-real-seebs]

i try to reblog this every few times i see it because you might someday need to know how to put out a fire.

[triplefoul24-deactivated2022112]

Wig

[loyle-trash]

pokemon

[inquisitivemobius]

Penisaur and Clitaurus!

[professorevilbadpaingiver]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[musicalhell]

I turned my volume up just to see what he was playing and was not disappointed

[wheeloffortune-design]

In time travel movies, when the time traveler asks 'What year is this?!?' they're always treated like they're being weird for asking.

When in reality, if you go 'What year is this?!?' people will just say '2024. Crazy huh.' and you go 'Wtf where has my youth gone.'

And if you ask 'And what month??' people won't judge you, they'll just go like 'SEPTEMBER!!! Can you believe it?!?!' and you go 'WHAT?!? Last time I checked we were in May?!?'

[marlynnofmany]

That is a great point. Especially if you time travel to a period of Big Historical Events, when everybody's looking a little wild about the eyes.

"Hey, what month is it?"

"January already, can you believe it? I swear I was just at Pompeii, but no one's going there again."

[aphony-cree]

In the same vein:

Stumbling into a diner and asking "What town is this" isn't weird, the workers will think you're on a road trip

If you ask them "Where's the nearest Nano Deck?" they'll assume it's a shop they've never heard of and say "Sorry, I don't know where any of those are"

Going into a store and telling a cashier "I need pods for my comm device" will just get you a "Never heard of those, maybe try Radio Shack?"

I think the problem is that people who create sci-fi movies have never had to work customer service jobs