Made this three years ago, decided it’s finally time to leave it by the side of the road, before I drag it into another year.
A good comic
I swear I’ve had this dream
we're not kids anymore.

No title available

★
styofa doing anything

Origami Around
cherry valley forever
Sade Olutola
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Jules of Nature
noise dept.
Xuebing Du
Mike Driver
Cosimo Galluzzi

pixel skylines
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

@theartofmadeline

shark vs the universe

JBB: An Artblog!

JVL

ellievsbear

seen from Russia
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seen from Singapore
@therealproblemis
Made this three years ago, decided it’s finally time to leave it by the side of the road, before I drag it into another year.
A good comic
I swear I’ve had this dream
my uncle
-is allergic to chocolate -is physically incapable of laughter (it comes out as a hiss, like steam escaping a pipe) -has weird long vampire teeth -once led a chemical attack on some college students who had bullied his high school chemistry class -named his bicycle Tom Bombadil -got hired twice for the same job as himself and his fake identical twin because his boss wouldn’t hire him full time -is the only member of my family to have shown me open and unconditional support -is a clean-cut nerd… who used to be a psychedelic Deadhead and follow them around on tour -enjoys snacking on an exercise formula called “goo”; his favorite flavor is “plain”. Plain goo. He gave me a box of it for Christmas once and it’s as gross as it sounds. -cannot touch mangos -teaches meditation seminars at his Buddhist temple -has begun studying magic -used to be obsessed with cults, especially Scientology, and would just… spy on their temples -is so fucking weird -used to drive a car that he’d covered entirely in plastic lizards, until someone stole it -is terrified of the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz and still has nightmares about them
-is sending me on a roadtrip to the National Radio Quiet Zone for fun and education
-showed up to a family outing downtown this morning, wearing nylon shorts and expensive leather Oxford formal shoes -cried himself to sleep as a child because he desperately wanted a pet alligator -has experimented with god knows how many psychoactive substances…. For Science -is a literal masochist, as discovered this afternoon, when he told me all about how he’s addicted to the “excruciating pain and unexpected pleasure” of physical therapy -has feet so long he has to get shoes custom made for him - they have, in the past, been mistaken for clown shoes -once took his girlfriend on a date to lick the St. Louis Arch, in winter, and later revealed that he only framed it as a date ‘cause he was afraid of going alone in case his tongue got stuck to the metal -told me that he loved how bananas made his whole throat feel tingly, was surprised to find out that bananas are not supposed to have this effect -was disappointed that I did not bring a book on demon conjugation to the family reunion, because he wanted to compare it to his own translation -got banned from going down a slide today because he was dripping wet and had clearly been swimming…. he was just really sweaty from climbing the stairs
-sent me a check but forgot my legal name and put my nickname on it instead (it can’t be deposited and he hasn’t sent another)
this is what he wore to a family outing downtown
He showed up to our Christmas Eve dinner wearing a dress shirt, fancy slacks, and flip flops. All he ate was a bowl of smoked oysters.
new cryptid
Even in death you cannot respect a woman enough to use her name. How disgusting.
Jesus fucking Christ. She was a real life WARRIOR and the only thing these people value is her physical aesthetic. You have got to be fucking kidding me.
I cannot fucking believe this, she was a 19-year-old Kurdish woman with a name. NINETEEN-fucking-years-old and she led an all-female battalion against known ISIS groups in Syria, and they comment on her appearance before her rank, her age and don’t even use her fucking name? RIP Asia Ramazan Antar, you will be remembered.
So disrespectful.
RIP Asia Ramazan Antar, you will be remembered.
Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.
Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.
Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.
Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.
Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.
There are million dollar blockbuster movies that were less entertaining than the rollercoaster this post just took me on.
every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them.
Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes.
Update:
I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour.
I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF
Update:
After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow!
You are the future
As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks.
Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins?
ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit
vive la resistance
I took my rubber band out of my hair and it formed a perfect treble clef.
I cannot reblog this enough
Why is this still getting notes
because a treble clef is at the beginning of every bar so there must be notes to follow
Wowie that was a good one
The story writes itself. *scribbling*
Imagine your OTP
i’m so tired of the AU where your soulmate’s name is on your wrist. i want my enemy’s name on my wrist. i wanna know who i’m going to have to physically fight eventually. turn on your fucking location
your enemy’s name on one wrist and your soulmate the another. no clue which is which. hope it’s not the same name on both wrists.
poussey is everything
Some Pokémon Go information
This turned out a little long so I’ve bolded main points for TL;DR skim readers. This post covers some current issues and some beginner tips.
As of typing (7/7/16), Pokemon Go has been released in Aus, NZ, US, and JP.
The game does not work on Windows OS, or Android versions older than Lollipop.
You need GPS location tracking enabled on your phone, as well as a constant stable internet connection. The GPS is a major battery drain.
The AR cam decimated my Samsung Note 4′s battery in minutes, disable it for more play time.
Data usage is minimal, but more Data is used when battling Gyms from my observance.
You can sign up with either a Google Account (or whatever Apple use) or a Pokemon Trainer Club account. Right now Trainer Club is having periodic connectivity issues. (“Unable to Authenticate.”)
When starting the game, you’re offered a “starter Pokémon”, its 100% preference as you can catch starter Pokémon later.
After capturing your “starter”, you enter your username. Alphabetical/Numeral Characters only, no spaces, Names must be Unique. They cannot be changed, currently, if ever.
The game must be actively open for it to find Pokemon, but you do not need to be staring at the phone. Stay safe and be alert of your surroundings, your phone will vibrate if something pops up near you.
The “Nearby Pokemon” tab seems to double up as a tracker, tap a “nearby pokemon” in the list, Footprints indicate its distance, and the tab pulses more as you approach the nearest/targeted Pokemon.
Small towns have no shortage of Pokestops and Gyms, but residential areas understandably have very few.
Catching Pokemon is simple, you start with ~50 Pokeballs, you gain many more from Pokestops, you can carry a limited number of combined items (350) without bag upgrades. Do not buy Pokeballs from the cash shop, they are essentially an infinite free resource.
Pokestops go Purple when used, the cooldown is incredibly short but the cooldown does not reduce if you stay near the stop.
Battles are not explained, at all. Tap the opponent Pokémon to launch a “Fast Attack”, and accumulate charge for your Strong “Hold” attack. Swiping your Pokémon to dodge attacks is very important.
Teams are “Instinct” Yellow, “Mystic” Blue, and “Valor” Red. There is no benefit to joining a specific team, just pick the one you want/agree with.
A Grey Gym is unclaimed, simply deposit a Pokemon to defend it and claim it as your own. Warning: Deposited Pokemon cannot be withdrawn from the Gym until it is defeated by the opposing team, avoid depositing your strongest Pokémon when defending Gyms.
At a Friendly Gym, you can battle your own defending Pokémon (and the Pokémon fellow teammates have deposited) and give your Gym more Prestige. Prestige is essentially the “health” of your Gym, and if the opponent teams reduce it to 0, the Gym becomes unclaimed. You may struggle to train if you deposited your strongest Pokémon.
At a Rival Gym, your goal is to defeat as many of the Rival Pokemon as possible. Your 6 Selected Pokemon will be allowed to assist you in battle, but only two may faint. You may switch at any time.
Pokémon defeated in a training session are reduced to 1 hp and can be healed with a Potion, however Pokémon defeated while battling an rival gym become fainted, and a Revive must be used. These items can be obtained at Pokestops from level 5 onwards.
You can challenge a Gym as many times as you are able.
The Strongest Pokemon in the Gym is the one sat atop the tower on the Map.
I do not know if Eggs are Pedometer related or distance related, but you should get off your lazy ass and walk because its good for you. Some lovely Tumblr users have informed me that it has been said Egg counter is Distance calculated with a speed cap, which is great for accessibility! Still, if able, walking is good for you. It took me approximately 7000 steps to hatch a 5km Egg.
YOU MUST INCUBATE AN EGG IN ORDER FOR IT TO HATCH. You are given one Incubator to start with unlimited uses. You can buy more, but they break after hatching 3 eggs.
Evolution is not level/CP based. They use Candy to evolve. Candy Evolution requirements vary. Pidgey needs 12, Spearow needs 50.
Eevee Evolve Randomly, according to screenshots.
Each Pokemon gives 3 candy of its species upon being caught, 6 if hatched. You can power up a Pokémon’s CP using its candy and “stardust.”
Magikarp makes me cry.
lmaaaaaooo
When my future husband comes home from WORK and asks what’s for dinner
When it’s pussy for dinner yet again and you aint had a cooked meal in months
LMAOOO
When the lady next door cooks actual food.
LMAOOOOO it got better
Lmao 😂😂😂😂
Ya gotta stop 😂😂😂😂
And She serve dessert
Originally posted by champagneovo
It just keeps getting better 😂
💀💀💀💀
But her man found out about you “coming over for dinner”
Originally posted by eightyproblems96
Wait this made me laugh
Nooooooooooooo :(((( #crying
Oh god 😂😂😂
Originally posted by cratermania
why does this post keep getting better and better lmao
^^^ really tho lol
When her and her bestie fake an alibi and he believes it
Originally posted by toxzen
when you just got done killing yo husband and the side bitch next door cus they thought they was slick
When you dont go to jail for a crime everyone knows you committed, still gettin dicked down and you still aint cookin for nobody
Now i can reblog it
LMAOO
Even better …. Keep adding on
lmao omg
When best friend finds out and comes for revenge
@psychoticcoven @dippednv8splash
and when the homies upstate hear what went down and start making calls…
…and then when you step out the crib to go to the club…
and when they find you and your whole squad in the morning.
This is some Hamlet shit
This was lit 😂😂😂😂😂😂
How is this still going?! ctfuuuuuuu
This went soooooo left 😂😂😂
Animals that are awwingly awesome.
Too much
In case no one told you growing up
Bras last longer if you let them air dry. Don’t put them in the dryer.
If you have a problem with frizzy hair, don’t dry your hair with a towel. It makes the frizzies worse. (I recently read an article that said to use a t-shirt? I brush mine out and let it air dry.)
Whites wash best in hot water. Everything else can be in cold - save on your electricity bill.
You can kill 99.9% of germs in a sponge by putting it in the dishwasher for a cycle or by microwaving it for 2 min (be sure to make the sponge damp before microwaving and to put a cup half full of water in with it and please DO NOT squeeze the sponge until it has cooled off)
Airing out your room/house and letting sunlight in every so often can decrease the number of household pests like silverfish and ants.
Black underwear is best during your period as stains are less likely to be visible.
To save money, put aside 10% of each paycheck into a savings account. It’ll add up.
Unless your hair has something on/in it (like grease or mud or something), using conditioner first can actually be the better choice. The conditioner holds in the good oils that help you hair look sleek and beautiful, which shampoo would otherwise wash away.
Speaking of shampoo - if you have long hair, washing just the bits that touch your scalp is generally enough. The rest of your hair gets cleaned with just the run off from your scalp.
If you put a tampon in and it’s uncomfortable/you can feel it, you didn’t do it quite right. A properly placed tampon is virtually unnoticeable by the wearer.
Apply deodorant/antiperspirant a couple hours in advance of when you need it. This gives the product the chance to block your sweat glands. Using deodorant just before going somewhere where you’ll sweat (this means walking outside for people in high humidity places) results in your sweat washing the deodorant off and starkly limiting its usefulness.
After running the dryer, use the dryer sheet from that load to brush out the lint catch - it gets everything off in a fraction of the time it’ll take you to get it clean with your bare hands. Paper towels also work well.
Wash your face everyday, or as often as possible. Forget which brand of cleanser is best. Just washing your face everyday will guarantee you clearer skin. And do you best not to pop pimples, as tempting as the urge may be.
Fold laundry asap after taking it from the dryer to avoid wrinkles. This may seem obvious for dress shirts and silly for things like t-shirts, but you’ll notice the difference even then once your shirts stop looking like unfolded paper balls.
To all the kids whose parents couldn’t help you with this kind of stuff
Addition: the natural acidity of a vagina can bleach the gusset on darker underwear. It’s perfectly normal.
i did not know some of this stuff, so useful!
You know society has failed when you gotta teach people that it's okay to be happy with the body and the face they already have.
Random mode on Netflix that plays the audio for one movie and the video of a totally unrelated movie
On April Fools Day, porn sites should pop up a fake notification that says “successfully shared to Facebook”