Mari

She/her, 43, couldn't get the hang of Tumblr 10 years ago, but willing to try again for the blorbos

[soft-galaxies]

thought of a new terrible mbtv oc: sleazy adult entertainment talent scout rogue comfortunit who scans for augmented humans to recruit for a specific subgenre of fetish media. gurathin's waiting for the rest of presaux at an interstellar bar one night when this sleazebot sidles up to him. hits on gurathin with no interest in having sex with him but with much interest in his potential for raking in the hard currency credits on OnlyAugmentsMax or whatever with that svelte data port of his. slides over a transparent digibusiness card with its feed contact info and a wink. mb catches wind of this and incinerates the card on sight and presaux are banned from the bar for life

[therearesomewhocallmemari]

@carrot-gallery these tags are good tags:

[micuko]

Sorry for being a freak, but Gurathin is so damn pretty when he cries. He cried like 3 times in season 1, is it too much to hope we'll see that again in season 2.

[leveragehunters]

I was watching Starships, as you do, and had the thought that surely someone must have made a similar style fanvid for horses.

Many fruitless searches later, I found myself here.

(Also on AO3)

[dykeferatu]

i’m not even that much of a pervert i can just find the eroticism in anything. doesn’t get me bricked up necessarily i just like to appreciate it.

[creepycrag]

i think we need copyright reform. currently most works are protected by copyright for the life of the author plus 70 years. here are my two proposals.

18 years. this is enough time for the work to grow to adulthood and begin to care for itself

life of the author + zero years. i like this one because it encourages you to kill people

[foone]

I was looking at sex toys on aliexpress (like you do) and it suggested I get a 45cm (17″) Black Tourmaline Hexagonal Obelisk. I don’t think that’s a good idea

[foone]

FINALLY, WE CAN TENTACLIZE THE CLOUDS THEMSELVES! 

[foone]

and now I found the “realistic torture/execution devices for dolls” section. 

[foone]

aliexpress is seriously the best place to look at sex toys because they can’t show nudity so they have to finding other ways to show off the use of the toys.

This results in a LOT of abused food, which is always hilarious. 

[foone]

that’s not what I was searching for and frankly at this point I can’t really remember what I was searching for 

[foone]

oh baby, slide into my chrysanthemum for some novel gameplay!

[foone]

one of my favorite things is when they decide to give you the whole hard sell.

instead of just being like “hey this is a good sex toy”, they instead try to explain why you’d even need a sex toy, from first principles. and that principle is usually “your boyfriend/husband sucks”. or doesn’t, I guess. 

they always end up looking like a r/wheredidthesodago commercial for lesbianism

[foone]

so the sound of this sex toy is between a flower and a clock! 

wait, a flower? do… do flowers make sounds? 

[foone]

I’ve posted about the Hammer Sex Toy before, but it turns out it’s not alone. There’s also… 

THE WRENCH! 

[foone]

now that is a fucking slogan

[foone]

one of my favorite things is that when they’re showing off that sex toys have a bluetooth+internet thing so people can control them remotely, they always show a world map and two points labeled with city names and they’re ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR THE ACTUAL CITIES. 

[foone]

sex toy or vulcan starship? 

[foone]

OH MEHR SPIELMÖGLICHKEITEN! 

[foone]

this will give you the biggest orgasm of your life, but your mother will die. Oh well, there’s other parents.

[foone]

In the quiet night all you can hear is your rapid breathing

[foone]

found another tool! it’s scissors this time.

I’m not sure anyone of any gender really wants scissors near their genitals, so this may not be the best design

[foone]

sometimes all I can say is “what”

[foone]

is this vaporwave?

[foone]

I don’t think that’s how that works

[foone]

your strawberries will never be safe

[foone]

finally, the first robot that can eat a flan! 

[foone]

another fun trope in aliexpress sex toys: just listing off all the rooms of your house you could use it in! 

(Unlike all those terrible dildos that don’t work in the living room or kitchen)

[foone]

finally the first sex toy designed specifically for wizards! 

[shaneposting]

'he would not fucking say that' maybe he would if he knew he was starring in his very own porn fic for the sole purpose of delighting some freaks on archive of our own dot org. maybe he'd play it up for the cameras. ever consider that

[even-more-pro-fiction-jellicle]

Hey. Hey, you. The people who have a strong preference for the explicit and smutty side of fandom. You’re super valid and are doing nothing wrong by having sexuality be your main focus. Sexuality being important to you doesn’t make you a creep, you’re not objectifying people because you prefer to explore characters’ and ships’ sexual lives and preferences. Sex is not shameful. Don’t let anyone try to shame you for celebrating and loving sexuality. Sex and smut have been an important part of fandom throughout it’s whole history. You don’t have to meet any silly quota of non-sexual fandom interests.

There’s still so much sex negativity in the world. People can have sex negative opinions without even realizing because they’ve grown up in such a repressive and conservative culture. Fandom has always been a place to escape that repressive culture.

And always remember, you don’t owe anyone an argument or debate.

[scifitrash]

a phenomenon

[cheaphalloweencostume]

do any of you even enjoy reading or watching fiction at all? if i wanted the plot with virtually nothing else i would read the wikipedia page

[therearesomewhocallmemari]

Prev, I also immediately thought of Victor Hugo. I like to imagine that he'd be really touched that in 2026 people are still appreciating how very much he thought about architecture and sewers while writing novels.

[nicky-in-space]

"The thing is the bad stuff is also a part of the good stuff. Sweet and bitter. Positive and negative."

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[soft-galaxies]

saving an image of your least favorite human saying the least expected thing

(loosely illustrating my own fic for make a terrible comic day)

[godkissedme]

The thing about being mysterious is sometimes you’re just dehydrated and replying tomorrow

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

lots of handwringing and discomfort about the phenomenon of kinks forming before puberty but if you think about it’s it’s much scarier to imagine a world where kinks only ever appear without warning when you’re fully grown

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

on your 18th birthday—wait no let’s say 25th birthday—you must undergo the traditional ritual and be assigned a kink that will determine the course of your sex life forevermore and place you within the corresponding faction. you close your eyes and pray that it’s something kind of classy and chic and practical and affordable and not something that will freak you out or embarrass you. the girl before you comes out crying; she’s autistic and got “prolonged eye contact”. you gulp. someone else is hastily pulling up Wikipedia. the anarchist guy covered in ACAB pins scowls at the floor, resentfully contemplating his uniform fetish.

[xavantina]

Murderbot + text posts, a brand new Wednesday edition

[patatoscope]