I can’t believe the movie Baby Driver is literally based off this early 2000s music video that Edgar directed, which featured Noel, Julian, and Nick Frost. That’s why they played a clip of it in Baby Driver.
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@therearetwentyghostsundermy-blog
I can’t believe the movie Baby Driver is literally based off this early 2000s music video that Edgar directed, which featured Noel, Julian, and Nick Frost. That’s why they played a clip of it in Baby Driver.
“Gordon Ramsay asked you what food stuff Hugh Grant threw at the paparazzi. What have you got?”
So basically, I was watching big fat quiz of the years shows on my tv when dun dun dun a spider starts crawling around my room. Which ya know, fair enough. I can share a room as long as he stays a distance away. But noo. He just has to crawl directly above me and clearly this spider wasn't the sharpest tool in the box, he kept slipping so I yeet myself outta there. So I'm at my door, watching it crawl when suddenly it disappears. And I figure, hey it hasn't moved from wherever it's hiding for a while, I'll keep watching tv in bed. I keep looking around me just in case. I move my pillow and a bunch of rubbish to the side so I can swap ends of my bed cuz the last sighting of the spider was near where I normally sleep. My bed now has a massive pile of rubbish down the side of it cuz I'm a mess. But I'm all sorted when dun dun dun he's back. I grab a box and a bottle. I give him 3 choices.
1. Move to the slightly slanted bit of my ceiling and I'll put him in the bottle and take him outside or to my bros room depending on my mood. 2. Move down the wall towards me and get squished with the box. Or 3. Move carefully around the room to the opposite corner, where he lives. He chose 2 so I get my box ready. He starts crawling down my wall near the massive pile and the box is like 1.5 cm away from him when suddenly he jumps. I didn't stick around. I just yeeted myself outta there and now I'm on my sofa. Kicked out of my own room by my roommate. I can never sleep in that bed again unless I see him with my own eyes crawling away from it.
fanfic author: *writes 100,000+ words eloquently and beautifully*
me struggling to put a cohesive sentence together in the comments: that was … um … good
Me: No one is hiring me
Adults: you’re just not trying hard enough
Me: oh yea, sorry about that. Let me apply “harder” this time. I’ll be sure to write my contact info extra “hard” this time. I’ll make sure to touch up my resume and make it hella “hard” this time around too.
preach
Adults: You just need to hit the pavement, knock on some doors, call the hiring manager!
Every job application ever: PLEASE NO UNSOLICITED VISITS OR PHONE CALLS.
Fact: Our reception pool forwards the names of people who call unsolicited on to HR, who puts the names on a DO NOT HIRE, CANNOT FOLLOW DIRECTIONS list.
This is what is the most terrifying about re-beginning the job search.
Fact: My brother was a store manager at AT&T for several years, and handled the hiring process. People that would call and call about the job wouldn’t get hired because, “They seemed to be the kind of people that would constantly need attention on the job, or wouldn’t make a good fit in customer service, because they don’t have the patience to wait for us to call them back.”
Meanwhile I’ve always been taught to do exactly those things because it “shows that you care and take initiative”
Here’s how I got my new job:
Made a profile on Indeed.
Crammed that fucker with every damn skill and job I have ever had. That time I ran roller-coasters for a month? On there. “Property Managing” my mother’s rental for six months because she was too lazy to drive over? On there. ALSO. If you are skilled in, say, Photoshop, don’t JUST put Photoshop as a skill. Also put Adobe Suite, Adobe Photoshop, etc. Put every possible term for your skill under the skills. Google skill lists and start slapping them in there if you have even a tiny bit of skill in them.
Downloaded the Indeed app on my phone.
Set up a saved search to show me all full-time jobs paying $15 or more per hour in my area, and set it to only show jobs with instant apply. I did not narrow it down by field or anything else. Just full-time, my area, $15/hr.
Wrote up a three sentenceish generic cover letter that was basically “I am good at customer service, client management, and handling the variety of tasks this job will involve. I will be available on X date and would love to speak to you about this position at your company.” But slightly more professionally put.
Just fucking clicked apply on everything. Anything that sounded like something I’d be willing and probably able to do. Like, I wasn’t applying to mechanic jobs or anything. But front-desk at a mechanic shop? Sure. Towing dispatcher? Sure. Print shop coordinator for some fancy real estate agency? Sure.
The beauty of Indeed’s mobile/quick apply is that once you’ve set up your profile on there clicking apply is literally all you have to do for about 75% of the quick apply jobs. Some will have a couple additional questions like how long you’ve done certain things, or when you’re available to start. Some have random fun questions like your favorite superhero (usually startups). You click that button and off your resume goes.
I spent about an hour every day doing this, submitted several hundred applications in the process, and heard back from…maybe 20. Got an interview at 4 or 5. Got hired at an insurance company that pays RIDICULOUSLY WELL. Took about a month.
Do I want to sell in insurance? Not particularly. But this job will support me, my art, my ability to buy a house, and PROVIDE RESIDUAL INCOME ONCE I RETIRE. Which. If I play my cards right I could do in as little as ten years.
Your mileage may vary with this technique, but given the way job hunting is set up now carpet bombing an application site like Indeed is always worth a shot. I will note that when I came across a job I thought sounded extra interesting and more in line with the fields I wanted to be in I’d save the application instead of applying, then take the time that night to put together a better full application.
Good luck. Job hunting is terrible.
This is all solid advice. One more piece of advice is be on the lookout for any career groups. If you manage to join any they can be a huge help whether it be making connections or just helping to keep your head on straight.
every playlist on 8tracks
“For the nights when you can’t stop thinking about him” Me:…………………………..who….
No one:
Literally not a soul:
Me literally any chance I get:
I have a headcanon that Hermione insists her children attend some primary muggle schooling before Hogwarts, just as she had done. Now, imagine Arthur Weasley attending his grandchild’s science fair, being the ultra proud grandfather….and yet also completely geeking out over absolutely EVERYTHING.
Canon
“That is a volcano, that is a VERY SMALL VOLCANO, how - young lady, how did you make this? Baking soda and food coloring? MARVELOUS!”
the kids would love him.
Never have I ever loved anything more than I love this
All the muggle teachers would think he was being so adorable, “pretending” not to know how potato batteries and mini-volcanoes work, fawning over the hard work the kids did on even the simplest the projects. And he comes every year, because after the kids have aged out (”gone on to some boarding school in Scotland,” the teachers say over bad coffee in the break room, “they didn’t seem the type”), he gets an honorary invitation to the fair every year, because he never stops making the kids feel smart and good.
“And this airy-o-plane, it flies by means of a… rubber band? Did I hear that correctly? No magic at all? Doesn’t flap its wings like a bird? MARVELOUS! What an ingenious method of flight!” *looks around* “You, sir! With the ribbons! This child deserves one of those prizes!”
@deadcatwithaflamethrower
This is so wholesome.
Arthur Weasley, as the Science Fair attendee we all deserve.
After a couple years Arthur Weasley brings his own ribbons. They shimmer in a way that makes everyone wonder what kind of ink he uses—“secrets!” he tells anyone who asks—but they’re beautiful. They’re coveted even more than the official ribbons, because they remind you that while he was heaping praise on you, you felt magical.
This is one of the best HP headcanons I’ve ever read.
This is wonderful. Truly the fandom deserves Harry Potter more then Rowling does. I’m not really that big into it, but much of the headcanons I see are so wonderful and come from such a delightful group of imaginative and lovely minds.
Dear Men Writers
Lesser known facts when writing women:
High heeled shoes don’t become flats if you break the heels off.
The posts of earrings aren’t sharp.
Nail polish takes a long time to dry and smudges when wet.
You can’t hold in a period like pee.
Inserting a tampon is not arousing or sexual in any way, ever.
Feel free to add your own.
- Bras leave red marks on the skin under and around boobs and it is a magical experience when taken off.
- Make up can take anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes depending on how skilled you are.
- Taking hair out of a ponytail after wearing it for hours does not make it perfectly straight when it comes down.
- Hair when wet sticks to the skin it no longer flows, idiot.
-When women with long hair kiss, turn around, do anything, their hair falls in the way.
- Stockings are itchy and tear like wet paper bags.
- Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different. - Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble - Most can’t run in heels unless they have been VERY worn - Insecurity in appearance doesn’t mean “buy me a drink” - EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING
-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief. If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it won’t fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.
Putting a tampon in isnt a quick bend-poke-done kinda deal. It involves cubicle yoga, messy hands, numerous curse words as you realise it isnt in correctly and have to take it out and start again with a new one.
Yes to all of this. But also:
If her hair is in an updo, one does not simply remove a hairpin to send her hair cascading down her back. No. If her hair is an updo, it will take at least an hour and an extra set of hands to remove the 137 bobby pins that are holding her hair in place. Furthermore, there’s probably a can’s worth of hairspray in there, intended to withstand category 2 hurricane winds. There’s no cascading happening here - the best you can hope for is a misshapen nest of hair to clump and poof unattractively in the back while it still remains flat against her scalp.
This is one of the funniest posts I’ve seen in a while (especially if you read all the comments), but also really depressing because at 42 I still judge myself as having failed for not matching up to all these mythical stereotypes despite knowing they’re impossible
^^^This though
The odds of a woman having smoothly shaved legs and armpits are directly proportional to the amount of skin her clothing bares and/or the amount of fucks she gives at that particular moment.
GLASSES ARE NOT COSMETIC. If we whip them off, we do not become gorgeous fashion models. We become squinty.
-most women wear bras. Yes, even when they are trying to dress sexy. Because bras make boobs look perkier and rounder, which is something men apparently find sexy, so being a seductress or femme fatale is not an automatic reason for a female character to not be wearing a bra.
-a good bra will hide headlights, or at the very least drastically reduce their noticeability. A women with enough pointy nipple issues will opt for a padded or molded bra to hide them.
-women’s nipples do not automatically become hard pyramids visible through any and all layers of clothing the second they become even slightly aroused. They are not the female equivalent of boners. And even if their nipples do get hard, the bras they are almost certainly wearing (because even a goddamn succubus with big, honkin’ knockers for seducing men is gonna have those painful puppies in some kind of boob sling) should keep those pointy nipples from being visible to every other character in the scene, JIM BUTCHER. YES, EVEN LARA RAITH WOULD WEAR A BRA ONCE IN A GODDAMN WHILE.
if you’re being tied up and tortured in a freezing underground dungeon, then you probably have more important things to pay attention to than how hard somebody’s nipples are, jim butcher
- Wearing a bra that doesn’t fit HURTS. It’s not sexy to wear a bra that’s “two sizes too small”, it’d make your clothes hang oddly and you’d have a weird, uncomfortable “quad-boob” effect and your back would hurt, BEN AARONOVITCH.
Also, after removing a too small bra, there’s gonne be angry red lines on the boobs and ribs and the lady is not going to want them to be touched by anyone for a good long while
-Not all women wear heels. Those things hurt and are hard to balance in. They can also mess up your feet and back pretty bad.
-Lips aren’t just naturally red “as if she’d been drinking wine but they were just like that without makeup cause she’s so perfect,” my dear little Kvothe from ‘Name of the Wind’. Also, girls do not naturally smell like fruit or flowers, it’s either perfume or something she’d been eating recently.
I’ve been appreciating this post but now it’s back very specifically calling out my problematic faves and I don’t think those male authors realize how much it totally takes me out of the story for a moment when they commit these errors. It does nothing useful for the plot and is annoying for half of the audience
Is it weird that I’m female and wasn’t aware of a solid third of these?
I mean, all writes take note. I basically live in man land when it comes to protagonists so I don’t know half these things despite being a woman
(Most) Women do not look at themselves in the mirror and compare their breasts to fruit. Any sort of fruit. Especially melons. Please save us from the melons.
Also we are not aware of our breasts at all times. I do not walk down a flight of stairs and think “oh golly my breasts are bouncing so much right now”. They are as much as natural part of our bodies as arms. Do you constantly think about how your arms are moving? Sure you may be aware of them, but paying full attention? Doubtful.
Also: women working out are almost never sexy. They’re not glowing or glistening or (kill me) *sparkling*. They are red and sweaty and gross just like all the dudebros doing their time with the dumbbells. Stop ogling fictional women at the gym, TOM WOLFE.
I love this post.
Steve: *accidentally brushes his hand against Billy's*
Billy: *aggressively hold Steve's hand* Fucking commit to it.
If Billy doesn’t pin Steve against a wall/tree (or the other way around) in s3 then what’s the point
S3 had no point
Been seeing posts about touch-starved Billy. Been thinking about him constantly trying to pick fights with Steve. Been thinking about him finally getting that first bit of physical affection from Steve in the aftermath of season 3.
Billy:
And she doesn’t even care that my real pearls are still coming in.
+ bonus
please read this
The biggest “no homo”
Always reblog
stranger things modern au part 8
part eight : heather and robin talk, mostly about steve and billy
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