not depressed
not horny
but a secret third thing...
Jules of Nature

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
wallacepolsom
trying on a metaphor

roma★

shark vs the universe

@theartofmadeline
hello vonnie
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Stranger Things
will byers stan first human second
Cosimo Galluzzi

titsay
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

if i look back, i am lost

Kaledo Art
Misplaced Lens Cap
seen from United States

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@theredumbrellatheory
not depressed
not horny
but a secret third thing...
They have you thinking "thank you Doordash and Uber for providing to me a side hustle" when you should be thinking "fuck you capitalism for making me need a side hustle".
Some of my favorite miis ive made
(submitted by @anxiety-cheese)
Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.
Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.
Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.
Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.
fool count: 2
(submitted by @bingus48)
Wow thanks for the ingot man let me just inspect the quality real quick
Dude come on
"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"
complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich
rainbow snoopys red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple
There exists a video somewhere of Shane Hollander standing in the parking garage of Censplex wearing a backwards snapback and althetic shorts with an inseam that is probably quite literally just listed as 'slut' on the tag as he stares down whoever is holding the camera. In his hands is a beautiful and perfectly spherical watermelon. In his eyes there is nothing.
"You want me to do what?" he asks.
"Crush it," says Harris, too loud and close to the camera.
"Like, with my hands?"
"The challenge is to do it with your thighs."
Shane, his face and his watermelon do not move.
"It's for charity."
Smash cut to Shane sitting on a parking block, face bright red as he reroutes every bit of strength in his entire body towards his thighs. He is utterly silent, straining, and he only makes a sound when the watermelon finally gives up and crumples under the onslaught.
The sound he makes is high, long and deeply inappropriate. It also echoes throughout the entire parking garage for what seems to be a preternaturally long time.
"What the fuck is--" Ilya, who heard that shit through an open window all the way in the team offices, careens out of the propped-open side door just in time to see his husband bite a hunk of watermelon from the dripping remnants. There is juice on his thighs.
"Hey," Shane says, and then squints at the camera, deadpan once again. "I nominate Ilya Rozanov for the watermelon crushing challenge. Or whatever."
Harris, luckily, has a second melon handy.
Another closely guarded take of mine is that I think Hollanov actually did do the whole lovemaking thing before the cottage.
Not often. Maybe only a couple of times. Maybe only once.
Some brutal fucking game where Shane cracked his fucking head on the ice hard enough that Ilya swore he felt it through the ice. The visor on his fucking helmet snapped off. His ears rang and his head swam but he didn't lose consciousness, his eyes were dilating fine. The trainers kept him back for half a period but eventually had to let him back out on the ice because someone complaining that much and talking that lucidly was probably alright. And he is, he is actually alright, but by the time the adrenalin of the game is gone and by the time he's done self-flagellating for the fact that, after all of that shit, Boston won by one point--by the time that's done, he's tired. His head aches. And this is the last time he gets to see Ilya, maybe, before playoffs ramp up and they don't speak for awhile. So of course he still goes to Ilya's place and of course he lets Ilya kiss him hard in the doorway, though he can't help the slight Ah, ah that comes out of his mouth when Ilya does his normal thing and fists a hand in his hair.
"Oh, oh, your head." Ilya says this far too gently and far too sweetly, like one might to an animal or child. Because Ilya is a little like the Big Bad Wolf and at times speaks with a voice not his own. Sometimes he opens his mouth but what comes out isn't his normal voice, deep and sexy and sometimes crude. At times he speaks with a different voice enirely--soft, higher. Call it loving, if it wasn't Ilya fucking Rozanov.
(This is because Ilya Rozanov is a loverboy at heart, always has been. Shane doesn't know this yet.)
"It's fine," Shane mutters, already searching for Ilya's mouth again. "Come on. Come on."
And Ilya obliges him, slots their mouths back together and slots his hands behind Shane's thighs to lift, and Shane loves that. He always does. He would never ever tell Rozanov, but he fucking loves submitting to him in that way--giving over his entire body as something to be picked up, moved around. This instrument of his that he keeps so finely tuned, and when he's with Ilya it doesn't belong to him anymore. It feels so fucking good, every time.
It feels especially good tonight, when all he's heard for hours is Fuck Hollander that one was bad. Careful with that head man we're gonna need it. That one was nasty, you sure you're good. Gotta be careful man.
Ilya says absolutely none of this. Ilya hauls him to the bedroom and tilts onto the bed, landing on it widthwise with Shane under him. He kisses Shane's stomach and hips as he takes off his pants for him and then he rests his chin in Shane's bush as he smiles and says, "You have headache, hm? I see you squint."
"A little. It's fine."
"You know what's good for headache?" Ilya kisses him twice, once in the hip, once on the stomach, low enough that Shane feels the suction of the kiss at the base of his dick.
"What?" Shane whispers, arms over his head and knees dropped onto the bedspread.
"Orgasm," Ilya says simply. "Releases chemicals, makes you feel good. I'll make you feel good, okay? See if that headache goes away."
And Ilya, as always, makes him feel good. But only after he puts a pillow behind Shane's head and a pillow under his hips and asks him if he's comfortable. And Shane would roll his eyes and accuse him of patronizing him, making fun of him for taking the hit, if there wasn't something different in Rozanov's eyes tonight. He kneels between Shane's legs and looks down at him, hands massaging Shane's thighs, and he looks unbearably handsome. Shane tells him so.
"Are you gonna fuck me?" Shane murmurs, when the staring and the touching has gone on for a very long time.
"Mm-hm. Yes." Ilya kisses his belly again, presses his forehead there. Says something that might be So beautiful or Pretty boy or even My baby. Shane decides it's not for his ears and doesn't listen, and then makes himself forget he ever heard it.
Ilya fucks him for absolute ages and says things like Feel good? Nice for you? Nice full feeling in your tummy? How is your head, baby, feel better? And Shane doesn't know why it doesn't feel condescending, why it feels so fucking good to let Ilya handle him this way when they normally snarl and bite at each other after games like the one tonight and like it that way. He doesn't know why this version of Ilya's control over him feels so right and fucking special.
Shane comes twice. Once with Ilya's hand around his cock, hand fisted in Ilya's perfect hair, Ilya grunting into his neck, the beautiful sensation of Ilya's thick cock twitching inside him, ideal in almost every way. Once a little later, in Ilya's mouth after he'd come and tied off the condom and got back in bed and kissed his way slowly down Shane's body from his shoulder to his hip. A gentle, soundless orgasm that Ilya swallowed down without comment before he rested his cheek on Shane's hip and dozed for a little while.
Shane taps his chin because it's getting late and he's going to miss curfew.
"I will pay your fine," Ilya mutters next to Shane's balls.
"Bad idea," Shane mumbles. There's a beat of silence, and then he says, "We probably shouldn't...do it like that again."
Ilya, after a moment, only nods.
It's the closest they come to talking about it. The way that it gets just a bit too real sometimes. The way that they let it keep happening, each of them making eye contact with it and then plucking their own eyes out just to forget its shape.
At the door, Ilya says, "Your head feels better, yes?"
And Shane says, "Yeah, you took good care of me."
And Ilya puffs up, proud of himself, then kisses the side of Shane's head while Shane resists the urge to say Fuck, Rozanov, what did I just say, because he wants it. Goddamn it, he fucking wants it and he's tired of denying himself.
So he lets himself be held for just another minute, because someday he won't have this choice anymore.
ilya starts this bit with shane where he claims he can psychically sense when shane gets horny whenever they’re apart and so he’ll text him out of the blue like “senses tingling. you are horny.” and the gag is that he’s not Wrong but its definitely a chicken or the egg situation as shane claims he only gets horny after ilya suggests it (also he’s kind of like. never not horny) and it kind of pavlovs shane to get hard every time his phone dings so he starts aggressively using do not disturb when he has sponsor deals and meetings and such only then the awareness of the texts he Could be missing from ilya is heightened and so its all he’s thinking about when he’s trying not to think about it and trying not to get hard in public unfortunately only turns him on more and ilya catches on whenever he goes to text shane and sees he’s in dnd mode he’s like oh he must be trying not to get hard right now so then shane will check his phone later and ilya will have texted him like “you were hard at 12:53 PM” and shane is like how the Fuck did you know that ilya is just like shane i told you i’m literally psychic 🙄
pokemon sprite pngs!
(feel free to use but a like or reblog is always appreciated)
theres some stuff im rather abnormal about
when the character is passively suicidal
when the ship is made up of two or more passively suicidal The characters
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