I wanted to be someone, but did not succeed.
What do you mean "be someone"?
I wanted to be a weirdo, but did not have the courage.
Why do you say it takes courage to be a weirdo?
It takes courage to be different and to not be accepted.
Why do you say you failed?
Because I worked hard to be normal and was sensitive not to offend people's tastes too much.
Being what we want is just as important as being accepted in the equation of happiness.
I wanted to be a writer, but could not endure all of the solitary work.
Writing is indeed a lonely business. If I may, what about solitude troubled you?
They say that those who cannot tolerate being along with themselves are base and of low character. That's the best I can describe it.
That seems a little bit severe. But I understand your struggle. What else explains the situation that I am witnessing here?
I wanted to help people and be a teacher, but I was too selfish.
That's a shame. But I must say you have already given me much from this brief exchange.
Thank you, that is kind of you to say.
...I wanted to be funny, but was too proud.
Pride does get in our way sometimes, doesn't it.
I wanted to be lazy, but I would not let myself, out of guilt.
That's curious, I've never heard someone speak of laziness as a goal.
I wanted to be simple, but my heart was full of desires.
I don't know you, but you look like a composed person.
Composure is what keeps me from weeping, screaming and laughing all the time. I can barely keep myself from complaining. Composure is like the mold that holds the liquid bronze together until it cools and can keep the sculpted shape by itself.
Very poetic. I guess we all have some sort of a shell or shield.
I wanted to be a philosopher, but felt everything had already been said.
We do live in a time where knowledge is readily available. But that shouldn't stop you. The world always needs people to question the way things are.
But I wanted to be happy. Questioning everything appeared to be the perfect way not to be so.
Don't you think they are many ways to be happy? Why can't a philosopher have his own?
You may be right, but if truth is the highest value and the noblest of pursuit, why do so few people care about it?
I have come to believe that maybe there isn't any. Things are, they were and they will be, and we humans will tell ourselves and others stories about them.
I wanted for people to notice me, maybe even be popular. But the look of others was unbearable. And the idea of promoting myself disgusted me.
It's true that many trades today depend on one's capacity to showcase ideas, projects and accomplishments. But I digress, please continue.
...Most of all, I wanted to be a super hero.
That's endearing. What kind of hero.
The courageous kind. The kind that is invincible, selfless and revered.
I settled for me, and that's what you are witnessing here.
Written by The Taiji Student
