Teacher, Troubadour, Esq.

Five time winner of the Oxenfurt Bardic Competition. My students are my first love.

[streetw0rms]

i haven't heard that song. i only listen to cds i steal out of unlocked cars

[lambert2269]

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

[free-my-mindd]

Me 24/7

[lambert2269]

Well that was... fucking wild. I need a drink.

[thevaldomarx2269]

I would also like a drink. Maybe something very, very strong.

I... think I'm going to pass out anyway.

Fuck.

[arnaghad-of-gemmera]

I WILL CARRY HIM. WE NEED A SAFE PLACE FOR HIM TO REST. SMALL CAT LOOKS UNWELL TOO. @gezrasofleyda269 DO YOU NEED HELP CARRYING HIM? HE IS AS SMALL AS THIS BARD, I AM CAPABLE OF CARRYING BOTH THOUGH IT WILL BE UNDIGNIFIED.

[gezrasofleyda269]

I can carry him. He'll be safe in the Caravan. You can come along, too.

The troubadour is not invited.

[thevaldomarx2269]

I... resent the implication... that I had anything to do with this.

I can't even fathom how you'd come to that conclusion.

I... I... need to rest.

Perhaps hide.

[arnaghad-of-gemmera]

THE COURT SEEMS AN UNWISE RESTING PLACE. LET THE CATS COWER, WE ARE CAPABLE ENOUGH WITHOUT THEM. WE ARE NOT FAR FROM SKELLIGE AND IT HAS LONG BEEN SAID THE SEA AIR IS GOOD FOR HEALING.

WHAT SAY YOU, BARD? I AM WILLING TO ESCORT YOU NEAR ANYWHERE YOU WISH TO GO. LET THE SMALL CAT HEAL WITH HIS FAMILY, I AM SURE HE WILL RETURN TO VISIT SOON.

[thevaldomarx2269]

I think it best to be far away from here.

My kin will not stop chasing me, but I might thwart them for a time.

@lambert2269 please. Come with me. With us. I would know that you're safe. And what better place than by the side of this walking mountain?

If my cousins have turned the Cats against us, we have no choice but to leave them to their Caravan.

[lambert2269]

... I shouldn't. I really shouldn't.

[thevaldomarx2269]

Yes, you should.

And bring that boyfriend of yours too. He seems to have his priorities straight at least. Gezras isn't going to begrudge you that.

@arnaghad-of-gemmera I'm trusting you to know where we're going. To keep us safe. Whatever that entails.

Someone needs to teach me how to wield a sword.

[93749185789183]

how to be cool

A) cool sunglasses emoji B)

[heartcollage]

is that a god damn pun. in emoticon format

[thevaldomarx2269]

@lambert2269

[thenatsdorf]

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

WE SEE UR CRIME

[drfitzmonster]

HIS GUILTY LITTLE FACE OMG

[thevaldomarx2269]

@gaetan22269

[catchymemes]

[reptiliannastyboy]

despite her efforts to evade me, i have finally filmed my cat playing my harp

[reptiliannastyboy]

Is a tiny cat playing a harp blasé to you people?? You don’t even have time to give her a little like for her recital 🥺?

[madkiyan666]

@thevaldomarx2269

[thevaldomarx2269]

Is this you asking for lessons?

[glumshoe]

hey do you guys know about the uncomfortably horny BDSM song cut from Disney’s Aladdin

[argumate]

no but I wanna

[glumshoe]

it’s called “Humiliate The Boy” and it’s just line after line of Jafar making it Weird™️

including the very real lyrics “oh, we’ll emasculate him slowly/all the better to enjoy/how delicious to humiliate the boy”

Disney why

Disney I can’t kinkshame fast enough to keep up with this shit

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

after learning Ursula’s character design was based on a (truly splendid) drag queen, I just sort of got lazy with assuming she would always be the most salacious disney villain. 

but apparently Jafar is a dom with a thing for twinks & humiliation play so what do i know

[glumshoe]

I don’t think I’d call Ursula especially salacious–she makes jokes implying that men only want sex, and she moves like a theatre major at the grocery store with their friends, but I wouldn’t describe her as horny.

I guess Frollo has a whole song about how horny he is, and both Gaston and Jafar also have “marry the heroine but in an evil way” as motives. 

[smokyquartz323]

Ursula is comfortable in her sexuality. Frollo is horny on main but trying to deny it. Gaston and, apparently, Jafar are horny period, with Gaston being mysoginistc and Jafar having a humiliation kink

[virgil-is-a-cutie]

Oh dear

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ok someone do an alignment chart

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I made an alignment chart because I needed something to occupy my time. no one but frollo is on the “conflicted” bar because no other disney villain is anything but 100% comfortable with their sexuality and that’s that about that. gaston is evilly sexy, not evilly horny, because the only person gaston is horny for is gaston.

also, did we NOT already know jafar was kinky? was the slave girl outfit and hypnokink not a huge giveaway?

[crispydumbass]

I love tumblr coz where else would I read a serious analysis of Disney villains in terms of them being sexy/kinky/horny while listening to a very disturbing kinky Jafar song

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

someone replace “but conflicted” with “but a creep” and add scar and hades

[wee-tiny]

[pixie-mage]

Perfect

[counterpunches]

#the real reason i’ll stay forever on this godforsaken website#truly groundbreaking analysis just like this  @fiddleabout

[erik-christine]

[thevaldomarx2269]

@madkiyan666

[thevaldomarx2269]

😍

[tiaramania]

Heart Tiaras

Diamond Heart Tiara, circa 1880

Grand Duchess of Baden's Diamond Palmette Tiara by Ludwig Bertsch, circa 1900

Duchess of Manchester's Diamond Heart Tiara by Cartier, 1903

Countess of Moy’s Diamond Heart Tiara by Cartier, 1909

Diamond Heart Tiara by Carrington, early 1900s

Diamond Lover’s Knot Tiara

Ribbon Heart Tiara by Mikimoto

Pearl Heart Tiara by Mikimoto

Interlocking Hearts Tiara by Massoni

Diamond Heart Tiara by Moussaieff

Heart and Arrow Tiara by Gucci, 2019

Queen of Chaos Tiara by Maria Nilsdotter, 2021

Infinity Tiara by Graff, 2021

Tiara Motifs 30 of ∞

[moonblossom]

@tiarasnteakettles

[jaubaius]

This high school drumline’s incredible performance included only drumstick

[kjuw89]

Impressive

[marlynnofmany]

My thoughts as I watched:

“Heh, that’s cute.”

“Okay, that’s cool.”

“Dude.”

*reblogs*

[lambert2269]

I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.

[lambert2269]

Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and don't really care

[butibelieveindivinity]

[runandhide21]

♥   Late Valentine cards from Gaunter O'Dimm   ♥

VK | Instagram

[musicproblems]

See My Other Valentines Here