The Wayne Conspiracy

Everyone has heard the infamous rumors that billionaire/playboy Bruce Wayne is the Batman. This blog is for all opinions on the subject! #wayneconspiracy

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

What it’s like to be a student in Scarecrow’s psychology course

[frostbittenbucky]

I’m so fucking sick of it

Bruce Wayne IS NOT BATMAN!!! Leave the damn man alone! No offense but Bruce Wayne is a fucking idiot

Have any of your seen a single interview with him? The man legitimately didn’t believe narwhals existed

[lemanzanabizarra]

Cut of said interview:

Bruce Wayne: so the sea unicorns are real?!

[imacowboy3]

Honestly Bruce Wayne is THE definition of himbo,I don't know why ya'll keep insisting that he's the bat.

[inprogress-predicament]

Ok, but remember when the Riddler crashed a Wayne Gala. Bruce decked the first goon to get with 10 feet of his kids.

[frostbittenbucky]

He’s just a really good parent. If you had your gang of children at a heist you too would drop anyone who approaches them

[mollyhats]

Look the baseline for Gotham himbo is different from everywhere else. You wouldn’t understand, you’re probably from Metropolis or smth.

[dick-nightwing-grayson]

As a parent, I second @frostbittenbucky That is simply instinct. I ill personally fight the joker if he threatened my kids. He may win, but he would not come out unscathed. Bruce Wayne is just a mother hen doing his best

[sugarcoated44]

I’ve seen Bruce Wayne stutter when trying to buy hot dogs from a vendor on main street outside his office, anyone who says him and the bat are the same has to be on something.

[sapphossidechick]

but the butts are the same

[locket-lyncis]

Are you seriously going on the fact that their butts are the same? That's creepy af! Now you're sexualising both of them >:(

[frostbittenbucky]

Thank you!!!111!1!!!! Disgusting 😤

[theshinymetalassknight7xl9]

Honestly the theory of Bruce Wayne being Batman it's simply ridiculous, the guy is well intended trying to give jobs to people but he can't be Batman, he doesn't know the difference between buying a Netflix subscription or buying Netflix

[dick-nightwing-grayson]

Are we honestly thinking the guy that locked his keys in his cars 4x last year, that we know of, is batman? This man cannot even remember how to spell AAA for roadside service, he definitely is NOT batman.

[interplanetary-redacted]

Are we saying that the guy who started crying when he got lost in the supermarket after they remodeled and he was separated from his youngest child is batman??? Really?? Didn't Damian end up making an announcement to try and find his dad??

[tangent101]

Isn't Batman an excellent actor? Couldn't he be pretending as "Bruce Wayne" to be a complete idiot? And it can't be cheap being the Batman. I'm just saying that if you ignore the obfuscation, it's clear that Batman is using "Bruce Wayne" as a disguise. There's probably no real Bruce Wayne at all, just some rich kid that after his parents died went off and died of a drug overdose or something.

[thefiresontheheight]

Listen every time I see the tired “Bruce Wayne is the Bat” “joke” “theory” I roll my eyes. Because we’re missing the obvious. Look at the Planet’s website. Look at their reporters. All fairly small looking people with the exception of one who’s fucking built like a wall. You know the one I’m talking about.

Think about it? Clark Kent is only seen during the day. Batman at night. Knows lots of things based on his job as a reporter. The uhhhh physique. Plus think about it. When you think of it, biggest distinguishing features of Kent? Aside from the build which can’t be hidden to easily, the glasses, and the “aww shucks I’m just a simple boy who loves women” voice. What does Batman have? Obviously disguised voice and upper face. Think through it.

[the-sword-lesbian]

YES!!

THANK YOU!!

Finally someone stating the obvious! Clark Kent couldn’t more obviously be Batman. All you “Bruce Wayne is the Bat” conspiracy theorists need to open your eyes. Bruce Wayne? Batman?? Are you kidding? My friend works for Wayne enterprises and they’ve lost count of how many times they’ve had to tell him, THE OWNER OF THE WHOLE COMPANY, where to find boardroom B, or where the cafeteria is, or “does this elevator go to all the floors?” Y’all really think this is the same guy finding his way around Gotham at night IN A MASK?

Meanwhile we’ve seen numerous times where Clark Kent has been on the scene faster even than the police, clearly this man knows his way around.

“Bruce Wayne is Batman” smh

[dick-nightwing-grayson]

Also Bruce has what, 6, 7 kids now? We all know he doesn't have a nanny. Sure he has that butler guy, but he is practically 90. You are telling me Bruce Wayne can run an entire company, be a single father to 6 kids, AND have the energy to fight bad guys at night? Absolute nonsense. Do we forget the collage of tired dad Bruce the tabloid ran just last week from all of his sighs from his kids' shenanigans. He is trying his best, you guys just want to put single moms on a pedestal and forget that dads can be exhausted too!

You know who doesn't run an entire conglomerate and manage a house of 9? Clark Kent. Obviously the posters above get it. He has the build, the look, the excuse with his job, and more importantly- THE TIME!

#ClarkKentIsBatman

[fiddlepickdouglas]

I simply want to point out that Clark grew up on a farm, hence the build. And isn't a journalist's job to follow a story and get into the dirty details? That is, if you really consider the Planet to be 100% accurate. It's pretty biased regarding all superhero activity.

If we're looking for someone who has some explaining to do with the money and the down time, I'm eyeing Oliver fucking Queen. He's got the kind of trauma I would expect causes a man to go full vigilante. Also the vibes are on the nose. That interview where he casually described how to take down an attacker with a sword while theoretically unarmed? UM?????

[thewayneconspiracy]

No way Kent is Batman. Have you seen him? He wouldn’t last a night patrolling Gotham City.

Oliver Queen is sus, but I think he might actually have been body swapped with a Martian a few years back so.

[justiceleaque]

hope bruce wayne has a wonderful day today! (i mean financing batman’s activities) (because it’s batman day and bruce wayne isn’t batman) also hope batman has a wonderful day today! (because it’s batman day and he’s batman) (no relation to bruce wayne except for the fact he’s his financer)

[vizrecon]

[jalter-is-my-wife]

This is the ONLY “We don’t need Batman” post I will EVER consider valid.

[evilly-laughing]

wayne family memes

[onebadnoodle]

imagine living in gotham and your news is just-

[grimeclown]

I dont think the joker chemicals really did all that when he fell in. I think he just wanted an excuse to be like that

[thewayneconspiracy]

Happy holidays and a happy new year to everyone besides Damien Wayne who kicked me in the leg last week

[captainlordauditor]

one of those aus where the justice league doesn’t know about batman’s kids BUT ALSO when they finally meet dick, he tells them all random facts about his family that sound EXTREMELY fake, even to a woman made from clay, 2 aliens, a guy who got struck by lightning, and a space cop but are 100% true

[captainlordauditor]

Barry: what else is Batman hiding from us

Dick: he eats his burgers with a fork

Barry: oh my god.

Dick: one time I saw him cut up a grilled cheese sandwich with a knife and fork and delicately dip it into his tomato soup.

[captainlordauditor]

Dick: his shampoo smells like lavender because he can’t stand ‘manly’ scents. He has a whole 20 minute rant about it.

Clark: this is starting to get a bit intrusi-

Diana: go on:

Dick: I have 5 siblings.

everyone else: you have HOW MANY

[captainlordauditor]

Dick’s facts will rocket wildly between “Bats owns fuzzy slippers he goes over case files in” and then the next one will be “my brother died once and now he’s a canonized saint even though half our family is jewish” “what?” “yeah, he came back five years later with a motorcycle and a crime habit. also every tie bats owns is striped and his favorite food is oatmeal”

[captainlordauditor]

Hal, upon finally meeting Jason: is it true you have 30 extra rules to dreidel in order to keep the peace

Jason: absolutely not, who told you that? Was it Dick? He hasn’t been home in ages. We’re up to 43.

[thewayneconspiracy]

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyways.

[memeszem]

Really wanna see this Bruce Wayne

[thewayneconspiracy]

🤔

[rustedsun-deactivated20230308]

idk what batman villain needs to hear this but your theme IS unique and creative, your puns and gimmicks ARE witty, your costume IS cool and fashionable and you DO have a chance of defeating the batman.  you are a valued and important gotham citizen <3

[ginger-ale-official]

If I were in Batman I would just kill the joker like fuck that guy

[ginger-ale-official]

I’m not Batman in this scenario I’m just some guy. I think the joker would get a kick out of that honestly

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[thewayneconspiracy]

Tim Drake is the only valid person in the Wayne family (except Alfred, who is a God among men and cannot be bound by any system of validity created by us mere mortals)

Amen sis

[thewayneconspiracy]

Okay but like, Bruce's youngest is an asshole he kicked me in the knees and tried to steal my service dog and Bruce just laughed and said "don't mind him that's just what he does." Theory that the reason we didn't hear about him until he was 10 is bc his mom raised him alone bc Bruce is a shitty ass parent and should not be permitted to have children.

Agreed definitely an asshole kid, might be his mom’s fault though I mean why else would he just suddenly move in with Bruce

[thewayneconspiracy]

Let me just say, getting caught in traffic because of a goddamn Arkham breakout during MIDTERMS