[smalltalktorture]

tumblr i am literally begging you to let me reblog your shitpost ads

[fanonical]

harry potter is late for class

hurry, potter!

[fanonical]

so. uh. we were in Bo Burnham’s movie… Eighth Grade. and here it is. there we are.

[marisatomay]

I don’t wanna name an actual author so let’s just make one up; let’s call her ‘JK Rowling.’ So I’ll fall in love with this author’s work and I’ll ask her, ‘Can we have some happiness?’ And she’ll go, ‘No. They all end up straight or dead.’ And I go, ‘Okaaay!’ And then I go to the bathroom. Then I come out of the bathroom and I go, ‘How about a sequel?’ and she goes ‘Ha, you get one (1) weird play. Now take this shitty play that paints everyone you loved as super out of character and leaves you feeling queerbaited, go fetch!’ And I go ‘Okaaay!’ and I go over to Pottermore and go, ‘Can I have anything please?’ and they go ‘NO!’ And I go ‘Okaaay!’ And they go, ‘Everything JKR does is good because she considers herself a feminist!’ And I go ‘Nooo,’ and they go ‘SAY IT!’ and I go ‘Everything JKR does is good because she considers herself a feminist.’ And then I go over to look at the diversity and representation in Harry Potter, which is an oxymoron, and I go, ‘Can we please have an openly gay character?’ and they go ‘No! In fact, we’re not even going to mention the sexuality of the one (1) gay character we revealed to be gay post canon despite his central roll in the new movie series that we’re pushing at you! And we’re going to support a man who beat his wife instead of listening to the scores of fans who feel hurt and alienated by our decisions!’ And I go ‘Why are you doing this?!’ And they go, ‘Because we’re JK Rowling and Warner Bros, and life is a fucking nightmare!’

[icebats]

I cleaned Will’s family’s kitchen because they have fucking mice and a fly problem and the second his mom got home the counter suddenly has a dirty pan, open chips, an open cheese jar, a cheesy lid, a dirty spatula, a big ass plastic bag with arsenic blocks in it, a torn chocolate cake mix packet, and a sauce covered tupperware lid strewn about 🙃

And somehow??? Somehow there is an entire plate just sitting on the floor

How 🙃 does 🙃 she 🙃 live 🙃 like 🙃 this

[icebats]

The mice in this house are going to form an alliance and rise up against us and i am powerless but to watch it happen. I may strike a deal with them when the time comes, become prince of the mice, king of the rodents, and i will rest upon a royal throne made of the fallen food that this family refuses to clean up off of the ground

[icebats]

I am attempting to establish spiritual communication with their people

[icebats]

He

[icebats]

THE ORACLE IS HARD AT WORK

[icebats]

NO!!!!!!!!!!!

[icebats]

You sick fucks wanted me to Ask Later so here you go

The Wise Ones shat all over the last paper so i had to make a new one, and we’ve caught and released about 5 mice since yesterday, so I don’t know how fast they’ll be to answer, but we will see if they grant me their Prophecies

Thus Begins, The Final Consultation

[icebats]

HHNNGG THEY TOOK A PIECE AND CARRIED IT BACK WITH THEM

[icebats]

TWO

[crytiptid]

YAHTZEE,

B A B E Y ! !

[memecucker]

what if i told you that a lot of “Americanized” versions of foods were actually the product of immigrant experiences and are not “bastardized versions”

[ace-and-ranty]

That’s actually fascinating, does anyone have any examples?

[memecucker]

Chinese-American food is a really good example of this and this article provides a good intro to the history http://firstwefeast.com/eat/2015/03/illustrated-history-of-americanized-chinese-food

[voxiferous-deactivated20171119]

I took an entire class about Italian American immigrant cuisine and how it’s a product of their unique immigrant experience. The TL;DR is that many Italian immigrants came from the south (the poor) part of Italy, and were used to a mostly vegetable-based diet. However, when they came to the US they found foods that rich northern Italians were depicted as eating, such as sugar, coffee, wine, and meat, available for prices they could afford for the very first time. This is why Italian Americans were the first to combine meatballs with pasta, and why a lot of Italian American food is sugary and/or fattening. Italian American cuisine is a celebration of Italian immigrants’ newfound access to foods they hadn’t been able to access back home.

(Source: Cinotto, Simone. The Italian American Table: Food, Family, and Community in New York City. Chicago: U of Illinois, 2013. Print.)

[emphasisonthehomo]

Stuff you Missed in History Class has a really good podcast overview of “Foreign Food” in the US.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

I LOVE learning about stuff like this :D

[oo0owo0oo]

that corned beef and cabbage thing you hear abou irish americans is actually from a similar situation but because they weren’t allowed to eat that stuff due to that artificial famine

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

<3 FOOD HISTORY <3

[alianovnataliasoldblog-deactiva]

[froankie-deactivated20130715]

#SHE IS NOT EVEN ANYWHERE NEAR THE GENERAL AREA OF FUCKING AROUND GODDAMN

[all-fades-away]

Hello Queen of Genovia

[theroguefeminist]

i read an article once that tried to “analyze” why so many people hate anne hathaway. i think the reason is because she’s a woman who sticks up for herself and stands up against sexism

[ray-winters-sings-deactivated20]

The true Disney Queen

[justlookatthosesausages]

This movie already is the most hilarious animated crossover ever made in history omg

[folly-of-alexandria]

@thebibliosphere

[thebibliosphere]

Sounds perfectly understandable to me.

She gie’d her mammy a cake, she turnt intae a big bear, and her old yin tried tae dae her in. If that’s no pure mess, I don’t know wut is. Simples.

[tienriu]

I’ll be honest, I got the first part of that, and the last part.  But there is an entire sentence in the middle, that evidently is about her father trying to kill her mother, that sounds completely unintelligible to me.  I assumed it was another language - potentially Gaelic but honestly, I’ve never heard that spoken before so I was taking a guess there.

I watched Brave and had absolutely no trouble understanding the entire movie so they’re definitely increasing the accent here for comedic value.  But also it’s not just an accent - that second part of the first sentence isn’t understandable even transcribed.

I’m a weird one though - I grew up in an asian country (not white), and somehow despite multi-lingual parents and siblings (as is expected in that asian country), my only and mother tongue is English.

[thebibliosphere]

It’s no Gaelic, it is however Scots :)

“Big Yin” is a common Glasgow term, and this is important, cause Billy Connolly who voiced her Da, is from Glasgow. It’s also the name was known by during his rise to fame, and is still affectionately known as “The Big Yin”.

It basically means “the big man” (note: a person does not need to be tall or large in stature to be called the big man, sometimes it can mean something else like “boss” or “strong personality”). So yea. Was a nice wee addition to her dialogue, though they’ve made her more Weegie for sure.

[trans-sister-radi0]

Are you saying “The Big Yin” could also translate into “Big Dick Energy”???

[thebibliosphere]

Abso-fucking-lutely.

[deadgodjess]

It’s funny that what to me is Elsa’s blissed out face. She looks high as fuck. Good for her!

[thebibliosphere]

She really did let it go.

[insomniac-arrest]

How can you hate jocks when the ultimate jock, Fa Mulan, is possibly the coolest person in Disney canon

like the jacket? the repose? The Look? we stan

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

[6sheep]

[mjalti]

25 human years to Keanu is equivalent to like 2 minutes. he hasn’t changed outfits cuz he’s barely started his day

[nge-deactivated20220127]

[kawaiiasfuckk]

People are obsessed with this youtube ad

[nxrcal-deactivated20221223]

i.. couldn’t… stop .. watching… omg…

[chalkycandy]

“real sparkling”

[gaybrofart-deactivated20240505]

I had to watch EACH. ONE.

[afrocentric-divination]

She’s trying so hard. You go girl

[minikloon]

THIS IS CALLED BEING A BOTTOM

[lord-kitschener]

#pillow princess is now a sexual orientation

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

her: wow you came pretty quick

me: AGDQ 2015 Sex With Hot Girl Speed Run #AGDQS2015  announcer: awesome sauce, we got a 10 dollar donation from mengaman and he says “good luck with the sex”

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i feel like ikea turns me into a different person. i walk into the swedish furniture jail and suddenly i’m a 29 year old pinterest mom who owns 6546 minimalist storage bins and names her daughter parsley

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i take one look at a showroom with like a perfectly styled FJÅLBJØRKBÖLLSTORP or whatever and suddenly i am this woman

[dankmemeasstronaut]

A conservative dress with children of your own race. SO progressive!

[dingdongyouarewrong]

…. do you need something, or?

[dankmemeasstronaut]

Yes, I need to tell you that you have been manipulated by this site I used to spend my entire youth on. I used to be just like you but life made me mature and I realize now how brainwashed I was. This site is poison, and I sincerely and absolutely mean that. You were here since 2012? I was since 2009. Please, wake up, I beg you. Please stop being misled by all these labels and infighting and utopian ideals, it’s not worth it. Stop living life for cheap pleasure. Seeing innocent people be led to chaos like this makes me cry. It really does. i wish you the best.

[dingdongyouarewrong]

what in the god damn hell are you talking about……. this was a post about ikea

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

Some are sourced or attested here:

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi#Quotes

[fishingboatproceeds]

As I near 200,000 followers here at fishingboatproceeds, I just wanted to say Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

[arkham]

this how we lost post editing and it was still worth it