Literary Fangirl

Here, thar be dragons! This is my side blog, dedicated to book fandoms. Mostly Wheel of Time. I'm in the middle of a re-read which is FULL of spoilers! Blacklist "WoT re-read" if you haven't finished the series yet! My main blog is miss-devonaire

[gunkreads]

Why do you all hate Gawyn so much? All he ever did was make every wrong choice available to him.

[thewindwasabeginning]

I’m Sorry

It has been a long time since I’ve even opened Tumblr, let alone posted anything here on my sideblog. I forgot I even had this, for a while. But with the Wheel of Time tv show gearing up, I realized I needed to clean out this old blog, and clarify a few things.

When I was first active on this blog, it had been a few years since my last read-through. I was also in active denial about being raped by my partner. When I entered into the wider fandom for the first time, I had been a solitary reader for a decade. I hadn’t bounced any ideas off of anyone, let alone read the myriad of theories and opinions. It’s not that I was in denial that men could be raped, it’s that if I allowed myself to see that Mat was raped, I would have to admit that I was raped as well. 

So, I argued multiple times that what Tyelin did to Mat was not rape.

I wish I could take it back. I can go through and delete the posts from this blog, but that doesn’t erase them from the internet. There isn’t a magic wand to make my past opinions vanish from existence. They’re there. You all saw them. Maybe you participated in those conversations with me. All I can say is I’m sorry. I see a LOT of things differently than I did in 2016. I’ve come to terms with my own sexual assault and am no longer in denial about anything. Much has changed. But the best thing I can do now is own my shitty opinions, admit I was wrong, apologize, and move forward doing better than I did before.

I’m sorry if I hurt anyone with my denials. I’m sorry if my words made anyone feel unheard, unbelieved, or ashamed. I know I never took those opinions outside of book discussions and my positions were only ever about Mat and Tyelin specifically. Not men in general. Men can be victims of sexual assault, and I know that. I’m sorry if I ever implied otherwise.

If I do come back to this blog, seeing as how we’re about to have All The Meme Content, I want it on the record that I was wrong and that I’m sorry. I haven’t decided if I’m going to delete those posts or not. Probably, even though the reblogs are out there in the interwebs regardless. I don’t need to leave them up here to harm people in the future.

[jinxy-valentine]

The Houses as Nice Sounds

Ravenclaw: Rain pounding on the windows. Book pages being turned. The world underwater. A heart beating. The flutter as cards are shuffled. Piano music. The whisper of the wind.

Gryffindor: Fire crackling. A cat purring. The pop as a cork is removed from a bottle. Thunder. High heels tapping against tile floors. Birdsong. The roaring crescendo of applause.

Slytherin: Waves crashing against the sand. Fresh snow crunching underfoot. Whale song. Coins clinking against each other. Ice cubes in a glass. Old music. The silence right after a storm.

Hufflepuff: Laughter. Leaves rustling in the breeze. The soft murmur of a stream. Bumblebees buzzing. Stones skipping across a lake. Bubbles popping. The final note before a song fades away.

[grimelords]

aesop’s fables are so funny because mostly they have a very clear moral outlined in the last sentence but sometimes they’re like this one where the moral is just ‘woah what the fuck? what the Fuck? get the fuck out of my house’

[deanhoney-deactivated20220819]

what she says: i’m fine

what she means: the words “christmas tree” are used in the hobbit, and since we know that bilbo is the author of the hobbit, hobbits must have christmas which means there must be a middle earth jesus. but hobbits seem to be the only ones who have the concept of christmas which means it was probably a hobbit jesus. but frodo says in return of the king that no hobbit has ever intentionally harmed another hobbit so who crucified hobbit jesus?? were there other hobbit incarnations of religious figures?? was there hobbit moses?? did jrr tolkien even think about this at all??

[maramahan]

Wait wait I might actually have an answer

Tolkien wrote The Hobbit like waaaay before he even dreamed up the idea for Lord of the Rings, so when he DID dream up LotR, he had a whole bunch of stuff that didn’t make sense. Like plotholes galore

Like for example in the first version Gollum was a pretty nice dude who lost the riddle contest graciously and gave Bilbo the ring as a legit present and was very helpful and it was super nice and polite and absolutely nobody tried to eat anyone because this is a story for kids and that’s very rude

But that doesn’t work with LotR, so Tolkien went back and re-released an updated version of The Hobbit with all the lore changes and stuff to fix everything that didn’t work

This is the version we know and love today

BUT rather than pretend the early version never existed, Tolkien went and worked the retcon into the lore

If you pay attention in Fellowship, there’s a bit where Gandalf is telling Frodo about the ring and he mentions how Bilbo wasn’t entirely honest about the manner in which it was found

To us modern readers, this doesn’t make a ton of sense, so mostly we just breeze by it–but actually that line is referencing the first version of The Hobbit

The pre-retcon version of the Hobbit is canonically Bilbo’s original book. The original version with Nice Gollum is canonically a lie Bilbo told to legitimize his claim to the ring and absolve him of the guilt he feels for his rather shady behavior

Then the post-retcon version is an in-universe edited edition someone went and released later to straighten out Bilbo’s lies

So it’s 100% plausible that the in-universe editor who fixed up Bilbo’s Red Book and translated it from whatever language Hobbits speak was a human who knew about Christmas Trees and tossed the detail in to make human readers feel more at home, because that’s the kind of thing that sometimes happens when you have a translator editor person dressing up a story for an audience that doesn’t know the exact cultural context in which the original story was written

Tolkien was a medieval scholar and medieval stories are rife with that sort of thing, so like… yeah

There’s a good chance it maybe did cross his mind

[scripturient-manipulator]

@old-gods-and-chill LOOK AT THIS THAT’S SO COOL

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

Not only all that, but Tolkien was also working within a frame narrative that he wasn’t the real author, but a translator of older manuscripts; so, in-universe, the published The Hobbit isn’t actually Bilbo’s book, but rather Tolkien’s copy of an older copy of an older copy of an older copy of Bilbo’s book. So when errors and anachronisms came up, he would leave them there instead of fixing them, and he may have even put some in intentionally; what we’re supposed to get from the “Christmas tree” bit is that the first scribe to translate the book from Westroni to English couldn’t come up with an accurate analogue for whatever hobbits do at midwinter.

[anarcho-tolkienist-deactivated2]

Yes. Another example of tolkien doing this is him using, for instance, Old High Gothic to represent Rohirric - not because the people of Rohan actually spoke that language, but because Old High Gothic had the same relationship with English that Rohirric had with Westron (Which is the Common Language spoken in the West of Middle-Earth). There’s tons of that stuff in the book.

[anarcho-tolkienist-deactivated2]

Like, Merry and Pippin’s real names (In Westron) are Kalimac Brandagamba and Razanur Tûk, respectively (to pick just one example of this). Tolkien changed their names in English to names which would give us English-speakers the same kind of feeling as those names would to a Westron-speaker. Lord of the Rings is so much deeper than most readers realise.

[kvotheunkvothe]

Can I also point out: just because the Hobbits might have had a Hobbit-Jesus and a Christmas doesn’t mean they also crucified him. He could have lived to like eleventy-seventy (or however the fuck they count) and then fucked off to Hobbit Heaven when he was bored. Maybe that’s why the Shire was so chill for the most part–they asses been saved, y’all.

[marauders4evr]

The thing I find most shocking of all was that at least according to book canon, Arthur and Molly never made a single attempt to invite Harry over during the summer of Prisoner of Azkaban??? Like this was after Ron directly told Molly that he was being starved with bars on his window! Molly knew this! There’s a reason this child lived with them for a whole month!

And then all of a sudden the next summer rolls around and the Weasleys were all like, “Lol nope we’re going on a vacation have fun with that convicted murderer who’s looking for you, here’s a photo of us having a good time without you.”

And of course Harry, my darling cinnamon roll of a child, is just sitting there half-starved with Dudley’s hand-me-downs hanging of of him, smiling like, “Oh wow, they had a lot of fun, I bet!”

And it’s like even when they came back, they still didn’t do a single thing to help Harry. Hang on, isn’t this also the summer of the telephone incident? Why would Ron even bother casually calling up Harry like he had to rescue him from his barred up bedroom! He should know that he can’t just call up Vernon and be like, “Hey, how’s it going, is Harry there?” No, Ron! He’s in his barred bedroom! ‘Sorry about that,’ he casually says in his note. His note! Why was his note, ‘Hey, look at how much fun we had’ and not ‘Hey, are you still alive?’

Why didn’t Arthur and Molly make an attempt to get him? Why didn’t Fred, George, and Ron show up to Privet Drive again?

Why were the Weasleys an amazing surrogate family to Harry except for this one time when they severely dropped the ball and nearly got the poor child expelled because he had to use magic to stand up to his abusive relatives?

Did Jo just think we would get tired of two similar summers? Because we wouldn’t have! If it meant that Harry was in a loving, household, I’d be fine if she had just copied and pasted the entire The Burrow chapter. Or hell, if you need something original, send Harry to Egypt with them. Don’t just have the entire Weasley family randomly forget about this boy! It’s so out-of-character!

They would never…

[thebibliosphere]

*sing song voice* fucking thANK YOU

[regent-valley]

Rand lost a hand before​ the Last Battle so you could say he saved the world…….

………single-handedly

[moghedien]

the thing I appreciate the most about how Nynaeve is constantly figuring out new/forgotten things to do with/about the One Power, is the manner in which she makes discoveries

Nynaeve accidentally finds out sul’dam can channel because she sticks an a’dam on one because she hates her. Nynaeve accidentally heals gentling and stilling because she’s mad that she can’t heal gentling and stilling. Nynaeve rediscovers lost knowledge because she captures a Forsaken and is like “hey what’s some lost knowledge you know about?” Nynaeve takes the One Power and hits it with a stick until it gives her what she wants. Nynaeve reinvents channeling out of spite.

[moghedien]

The Wondergirls’s first meeting with Aviendha and the Aiel is the funniest thing ever?

Egwene’s like “these Aiel are definitely gonna kill us so I have to hold saidar the whole time and WATCH THEM”

Aviendha is all “No, Aes Sedai we would never harm you. I would literally let you kill me if you wanted.”

Elayne “Slut for Aviendha” Trakand is all “I know you would! Look how much I know about Aiel! I love Aiel!”

Bain and Chiad are side eyeing Elayne and Egwene the whole time, trying to figure out if they’re fucking or not.

And Nynaeve is just screaming the entire time so that she can be angry enough to heal Dailin and scaring the crap out of the other Aiel who think she might just decide to kill them while Elayne and Egwene ignore Nynaeve and insist that she’s fine and acting normally

[tamyrlin]

at one point im like 90% sure rand makes a mental comment on cadsuane’s hair ornament sa'angreal saying that he’d worn something similar in the age of legends????

anyway canon man bun lews therin telamon

[tamyrlin]

Rand al'Thor, after gaining all the memories of Lews Therin Telamon, also remembers wearing the original male version of a paralis-net.(x)

“male version” is probably meant to imply that it was worn differently but whatever man bun lews therin confirmed

[melavixen]

Rand in the first book: “I won’t ever touch [the true source] again. Not if I have to cut my hand off.”

Me:

If he only knew….

[thewindwasabeginning]

A+ fandom blending.

Also, TOO SOON!!

[narcisseledecadent]

Can we talk about that time when Mat invented personnas and backstories for all members of the Red Hand just because Verin was looking for him in a village?

[thewindwasabeginning]

He went as far as writing it all down and telling them to study up! Amazing. Even for Mat!

[narcisseledecadent]

Let’s talk about… Rand’s mysterious pipe

SPOILERS

For some time now, I wanted to launch a series of mini-articles, discussions and theories about the Wheel of Time. Being currently not busy, let’s start!

As I was falling asleep yesterday, a detail of a Memory of Light kept popping up in my head. As Rand rides away after the Last Battle, he takes out his pipe, cannot channel (not the One Power nor the True Power) but by wishing it lit, the pipe is lit. Now, we know that the ending was written by Robert Jordan and that Sanderson, though knowing why and how, will not tell us.

BUT, if you read carrefully, one can find some clues. I’ll summarize the bits of information I thought useful for this theory :

The Wheel of Time is a cyclical time

The Dark One is sealed at the beginning of time

The Bore happens at the end of the Age of Legends when mankind opens the Dark One’s prison

During the fight with the Dark One, Rand “creates” realities, not by channeling but by using threads of the Pattern

All these infos, swimming in my head as I was falling asleep suddenly all clicked. Rand, during the fight, created the world again, after rejecting several possibilities. Hence the world, which could have stopped, is born again. As such, while it’s a bit of a stretch, a can theorize that Rand is the Creator (or at least an avatar of him) creating the world and sealing the Dark One.

If we take this theory as true, Rand’s pipe becomes much clearer. During the fight with the Dark One, he uses the threads of the Pattern and DOESN’T channel. And, for me at least, at the very end, he kept this ability to bend the Pattern’s threads and light his pipe with it.

So… that’s it, not much of a theory, but the epiphany seemed so important I had to share it.

TL;DR lol : Rand is so badass, that he becomes the mother-flamming Creator to finally get some peace.

[bartonsedai]

I actually really love this theory. It plays in so well with the cyclical idea of time. If we assume our world is a different age of the same time (which I think might have been confirmed?), it makes so much sense.

Rand, to us, fits a lot of what we say about Jesus. Jesus, in Christianity, is the son of God. How far is it from avatar of the Creator to son of God to God himself to the Creator?

And it fits so well with “the Dark One was sealed by the Creator” in a way that doesn’t disrupt the Wheel idea.

[bombadilsboat]

I honestly don’t understand why there isn’t a bigger fandom on Tumblr for Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time series. I mean it’s so superbly written, has an amazingly developed “magic” system, perfect characters, a huge variety of countries with differing cultures. It’s easily on par with Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. Plus, I need more WoT blogs to follow!

[mapsoffantasy-blog]

Pern planetary information.

[telarti]

Space, dragons, teleportation, telepathic connections, and sound science. Plus solid female characters, a well fleshed-out world, and insightful views on humanity. What’s not to love? Anne McCaffrey was decades ahead of her time!

[thewindwasabeginning]

forever one of the best series ever written in the history of fiction!

[charlottelucas-deactivated20180]

Headcanon: Professor McGonagall has a muggle wife she never mentions to the students, because they never ask.

Four years after Harry’s left Hogwarts he visits McGonagall’s home to talk her out of retirement, and the door is opened by a woman he doesn’t recognise. Confused, he introduces himself and asks to see McGonagall. The woman recognises the name and invites him in, saying Minerva will be home soon. She then talks a mile a minute, but not about the war - about the stories she’s heard about the golden trio from their head of house. About how Harry stood up to Umbridge, and how clever Hermione was, and how Ron had been able to beat her chess game, and how PROUD Minerva was of them all.

By the time McGonagall does arrive, Harry and her wife are chatting like old friends. Minvera’s wife calls her things like “Darling” and “Pumpkin.” Harry cannot believe his ears.

Harry is invited to tea every Wednesday from then on. He always looks forward to it.

[sleepy-loopin]

but lets be real here, even with the “darling”s and “pumpkin”s Harry still wouldn’t catch on and he’d go home and tell Ginny all about McGonagall’s lovely gal-pal and Ginny would have to be like “babe…that was her wife”

[charlottelucas-deactivated20180]

You’re right, fuck! How could I forget how deeply unobservant Harry is?!

[coffeetwosugars]

so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count

[actualtrashbag-deactivated20170]

holy f uck jane

[coffeetwosugars]

its a serious question

[tinfoil-on-the-windows]

well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.

[coffeetwosugars]

new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing

[tinfoil-on-the-windows]

no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.

you gotta digest it.

so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?

[coffeetwosugars]

huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?

[generallyhuxurious]

Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”

[coffeetwosugars]

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”

“you what now”

[the-negotiator]

i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic

[coffeetwosugars]

now that u said it im really surprised as well

[rainnecassidy]

what the fuck did i just read

[manynamedshe]

Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?

[thewinterotter]

I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.

[audsbot]

I’m not convinced by this, actually!

Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”

But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:

“I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”

“You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”

“You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”

Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.

The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.

(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)

Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.

And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”

Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years. 

[constant-instigator]

Or they feel obligated to show up at your house a couple days a year. So, like

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”

“you what now”

[thewinterotter]

This is my favorite act of intellectual bugfuckery on this entire website, when I die I want someone to print this out and place it in my grave with me so I can cherish it forever.

[thewindwasabeginning]

i love this goddamn site