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@bartonsedai
"Do you like this character?🥺?" I want to see him sobbing and writhing in a ditch. Leave me alone
A succubus but instead of stealing your soul through sex she kisses you and your wallet disappears
She may have just been a pickpocket idk it was dark
Good try but this is already a 6 month old flop post
Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.
I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me
sometimes you do just have to lie to children.
If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”
If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.
So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”
Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.
See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.
you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.
You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter
Yes, for the sake of everyone’s sanity, some times you just need to lie to children. 😂
@josiah-glacier that’s too good to keep in the comments
ADD IT TO THE BADASS QUOTE LIST
*scrimbling in on no sleep clad in pajama pants and a poet’s shirt tucked into a hot topic waist cincher
IM HERE IM HERE HANG ON
I GOT IT
It’ll be me and you chasing that horizon. I can’t think of any other place I’d rather be. ✨
you think you’re soooo funny. well you are. let me kiss you
can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??
a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.
no come back ma’am
*under my breath* underwater girlfriend
underwater wife
Underwater love of my underwater life
There are benefits to being a marine biologist
underwater girlfriend underwater wife underwater love of my underwater life underwater benefits to underwater studies turning underwater sharks into underwater buddies underwater lovers are the partly sharky sirens seen if you’ve achieved degrees in underwater science
… couldn’t help it….
reblog to give the person you rb’d this from a hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows
THE WHEEL OF TIME REWATCH 10/∞ — 1x8 ❝ the eye of the world ❞
executive function
Arin, you didn't have to drag me like this
Commission for @magioffire of a HANDSOME Moth Man that I'm honestly obsessed with.
the moon is a lesbian and she hates terfs
the moon told me personally that she thinks you’re obnoxious and hopes you never get a girlfriend
I have a theory that the moon IS a trans woman cause she’s always associated with feminine things but when we saw the craters that look like a face we called it “The Man In The Moon”. She’s a woman with a face that people may perceive as male. She’s a beautiful trans woman
the moon is a beautiful trans woman who hates terfs and shows her face every night to remind other trans women they are beautiful and strong and loved and important and wonderful and that terfs and their opinions dont matter
I wanna add to this if it’s ok?? In Hindu mythology, Chandra, the moon, was originally thought of as a male deity. However, as time went on, symbolism involving the moon and the name “Chandra” itself became identified with femininity, with beautiful girls being described as having “moon-like faces,” with their dark, long hair reminding lovers of the midnight sky, and names like “Nilaa” (”moon” in Tamil) and “Indu” (in Sanskrit) are now pretty much now completely girl names!
AlsO Chandra is married to 27 wives, who are all stars. The moon is a trans lesbian and is gay for all the stars in the sky.
Reblog if you’re gay for the trans lesbian poly moon who supports all woman.
Fun Fact: in one month (1/1/23), all Sherlock Holmes stories hit the public domain and the Conan Doyle Estate can't do shit! I say this for absolutely no reason but also congrats in advance to the happy couple.
forgive me
i don’t know what specific part you’re asking for forgiveness for