Sage

Hi I’m Sage Any pronouns Musical Theatre Major 20 yrs old :D

[ohillleavewithyourheadsire]

TWO ASEXUALS SITTING IN A TREE

S-I-T-T-I-N-G

[oniongentleman]

Please call the fire department. We are stuck.

[digitalmagpie]

We thought we were rescuing a cat. Turns out, the cat was fine. We are not. Please help.

[bumblebeebats]

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

[spectralhauntings]

I've been using the pet poison hotline's poison list cause it has a search function. It also tells you whether something is mildly, moderately, or severely toxic which can be very handy! It doesn't contain like everything but it might be a good place to start, it also includes plants for fellow houseplant lovers <3

Explore Pet Poison Helpline®s vast knowledge on poisons by reviewing our pet poison list. Explore our top 10 poison and holiday poison lists

[thewiseherb]

Ok so I honestly don’t know if this is the right place to ask, but I’m autistic and have a ton of sensory issues with food, and I want to try new foods but I don’t know where to start.

Any fellow autistic people, especially if you have arfid, what are some safe foods you have? Bonus points if they are not something that would be on a kids menu (no shade AT ALL, I just have already tried many of those and I’m looking for new things :D)

[vintageandroid]

OP I don't know exactly what your texture issues are but may i recommend the Sad Bastard Cookbook? It has lots of super easy & cheap recipes for when you're depressed and/or executives won't function and/or you're broke, and also has a lot of things to add to stuff you might already make, or easy alterations. Basically it's a good thing to look at to try to make some new stuff with pretty low stakes, because if it isn't something you like you're only out a couple bucks and a few minutes' effort. It's also free!

[thewiseherb]

Oh that name IMMEDIATELY hooked me I will definitely check it out

[thewiseherb]

Ok so I honestly don’t know if this is the right place to ask, but I’m autistic and have a ton of sensory issues with food, and I want to try new foods but I don’t know where to start.

Any fellow autistic people, especially if you have arfid, what are some safe foods you have? Bonus points if they are not something that would be on a kids menu (no shade AT ALL, I just have already tried many of those and I’m looking for new things :D)

[hcnnibal]

just got back into gardening so i’ve forgotten. are basil leaves supposed to be this big

[hcnnibal]

am i the problem

[mousegirlheart]

op are you a hobbit

[thewiseherb]

No one on tumblr is scared of commitment.

Just ask The Bit.

[isthereaduck]

There are no ducks in this post.

[thewiseherb]

Now there are

[tatzelwurming]

in the dungeon you will have to face a monster with the nose of a tiger, the teeth of a tiger, the ears of a tiger the eyes of a tiger , the cheeks of a tiger , the neck of a tiger, the torso of a tiger, the arms of a tiger, the paws of a tiger, the belly of a tiger the back of a tiger, the the legs of a tiger, the claws of a tiger, the ankles of a tiger, the tail of the tiger, the mind of a tiger, and the power of a tiger

[thewiseherb]

Is it perhaps a tiger?

[thewiseherb]

The pareidolia is pareidoliaing

[paranormal-taters]

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

[paranormal-taters]

okay nevermind it IS a word now and this is exactly what it means.

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

WORD ADDED!

Besquintled

[charlunday]

@thewiseherb this sounds like something you would say

[thewiseherb]

You know what. Yes. I would in fact say this. I was besquintled just now during tech when the stage lights went on me lmao

[hurricane-eva]

[i-am-a-snom]

Sometimes you just need to sit and listen to the sounds around you.

Outside, inside, at home, at a restaurant, where ever you are.

You can pick up on small things you never noticed before.

You can also do this with music. Just listening to the layers that went into creating it.

Just something to try.

[thewiseherb]

This is actually such a good way to ground yourself when coming down from a panic attack-

[officialunitedstates]

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free:  pouring river water in your socks

[evilscum-deactivated20160223]

why would i do that lmao

[officialunitedstates]

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free

[grimeclown]

Kinda fucked up and nasty how vampires drink blood, imo. Like. Pepsi costs a dollar seventy five

[grimeclown]

Hospital

[grimeclown]

Not me I’m paying a dollar seventy five. At the hospital

[grimeclown]

I feel like we’re getting off topic

[bitegore]

So is pepsi if you steal it?

[grimeclown]

Because it’s only a dollar seventy five

[aromancy]

Why in God's name would a vampire drink pepsi

[midvvest-vampire]

Why would anyone drink Pepsi?

[grimeclown]

Huh?

[skywardkonahriks-deactivated202]

That’s why I’m not a fan of the sexy vampire trope.

1. It’s overused and supports the current status quote of typical vampire supremacy:worshiping rich folk.

2. Vampires prey upon humans and therefore symbolize capitalists preying on the working class.

3. Werewolves are much sexier imo.

[grimeclown]

[star-lara]

am I having a stroke????

[fiollaigean]

you might want to go to the hospital then

[sherlockfandomtandem]

I hear the Pepsi is cheaper there

[tastefullyoffensive]

(photo via tomato)

[a-wolf-by-any-other-name]

How do you even melt a tomato?

[a-wolf-by-any-other-name]

I just realized that it is in fact a pile of ketchup.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ultimately i just want to be an object that attract crows

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"is this why you keep stealing people's gold fillings while they're asleep" no that's unrelated

[a-spicy-memes]

[abolish-everything-deactivated2]

They never had a chance

[spikeghost-deactivated20240530]

what happened in 1845?

[gaycave]

That’s not the year, that’s his kill streak.

[relientk]

okay let's bake a cake 🎂

butter

sugar

eggs

flour

milk

baking powder

vanilla extract

Voting ended onFeb 10, 2023

[rabbitindisguise]

[udekai]

[raevenlywrites]

This artist's rendition is like a renaissance painting and is the most thing I've ever seen (affectionate) thank you for your service