Her: farts like a beast
Him: Niiice!!
*High fives*

Kiana Khansmith
occasionally subtle
ojovivo
cherry valley forever
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Andulka
Jules of Nature

oozey mess
hello vonnie
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

titsay
Monterey Bay Aquarium

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ellievsbear
Mike Driver
DEAR READER

Origami Around
NASA
seen from Tunisia
seen from Tunisia
seen from Tunisia
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
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seen from Singapore

seen from United States
@thingsisaytomypartner
Her: farts like a beast
Him: Niiice!!
*High fives*
You think I'd be skinny by now
Her: My cheeks hurt from laughing
Him: Me too. That'd a good fuckin workout... I wonder how many calories that burns
Stone cold honesty
Her: I want my doughnut. Do you want me to get yours?
Him: You can get yours.
Her: Okay well you're not getting a bite
*Ed Sheeran plays in the background, dancing romantically*
Him: Thanks Bruno
My eye is like the new clitoris.
Her, while she is rubbing her eyes like crazy and moaning
I finally have lung in my weed.
Him
Please keep itching my knee pit.
Her
Her: "You'd be proud of my poop."
Him: "It's not fair. I wish I could see your poop."
It's really good! You should try it! I would give you a bite but its my last one... so no.
Her
Did you fart? Or is that your breath?
Her
Things to say in public:
Him: "You're the love of my dick."
Her: "You're the dick of my life."
You should see my toenails, they're so long.
Him
If you looked up Patella of Anthophila, it would be a picture of us. Because we are the bees knees.
Her
Respecting each other's Bodies
Him: *flares nostrils*
Him: Did you see my nostrils?
Her: Babe, you could see them from a mile away.
April Fools Ownage
*Last Year. He is vulnerable due to school stress.*
Her: Omg babe. I'm pregnant.
*shows positive pregnancy test picture via phone*
Him: *complete meltdown and catharsis*
Her: April Fools
Him: What is this life?
*This Year. He is vulnerable due to school stress.*
Her: Omg babe. Our best friends are suddenly engaged because she found out she is pregnant.
Him: *mild meltdown and catharsis*
Her: April Fools
Him: Am I even real? Is it possible for this to happen to someone?
Mark my words Iron King. Smokey Jack is gonna get you back.
Him: Wanna make love?
Her: I’m sorry I’m too tired tonight
Him: Okay
***20 minutes later, just about asleep***
Him: You still tired?
Her: Yes
Him: Okay
Good Morning
Her: Did you fart?
Her: Or is that your breath?