Why Lawzo vault on ao3? š„ŗ Want to read fics but they hidden
I've been debating over posting something for a long time and I've gotten enough questions about it across tumblr/twitter that this ask is probably the best time to address it.
Most probably don't know, since I've only posted about it minimally on twitter, but I've been struggling with my physical and mental health for the last few years while working two full-time jobs. On top of taking in my grandma's senior cat with 0 warning and all of the vet bills that came from that (that are still ongoing). Because ofā¦all of that, I've been struggling. It's hard to gather the energy to do the things that used to bring me joy. It takes me months to be motivated enough to write and reading is pretty much out of the question. I've been able to get a more proper diagnosis for my mental issues in the past 9 months and it's helped a bit. But the lows still outweigh the highs by a lot.
I love Lawzo.
It's the first fandom I've actively participated in (life-long lurker previously), it's the first I've actively written for. I've dedicated so much time and energy over the last almost six years to it, in varying ways. But I've never actually ever felt like a part of the fandom. That's probably my own fault. I'm not used to being part of a community. I didn't put in the work to create a space where people feel comfortable interacting with me. I get anxiety going out of my comfort zone. My mental health makes me withdraw sometimes for months at a time without warning or explanation.
I thought that the improvements I've been having the last few months would help - updating WIPs, getting back into the flow of things, coming back to tumblr, etc. But I know now that my writing will never be good enough. That I will never be good enough.
I thought that I could learn to accept that. I've been having a hard time accepting that.
I appreciate all the support I've gotten over the years; both new and old, some who are probably reading this right now, and others who have since moved on to new fandoms. Every comment I've gotten that I was never able to reply to, every fanart I've inspired, every response, every kudos.
But it's hard when I see the amount of stress and frustration and literal and figurative tears that go into everything that I do and that, at the end of it all, it feels like the only worth I have is that I can sometimes write a somewhat decent fic. That that's the only purpose I have here. And that it doesn't even seem to be enough most of the time.
I've debated deleting all of my fics. I've been tempted to multiple times. The anxiety of having them there is nearly overwhelming most days. Except that would be ignoring all of the time and effort I put into them and, even though it feels like it now, it wasn't a waste then. All of the time that kind readers have put into reading them, the effort of leaving a comment, a kudos, maybe a small remark in a non-private bookmark. So for now, I've locked them in a collection. I'll probably unlock it when I've finished the last request I need to do, but I don't know about after that.
In the mean time, I'm probably going to go on a more permanent hiatus. Maybe in a few weeks/months/years, I can come back and view them with appreciation instead of the current dread I feel every day. And maybe, hopefully, I'll relearn to love Lawzo like I used to.
-Sorry, that was probably a lot more than you were looking for.
Do you ever wonder if in an ABO with Zoro being omega, his conquers' haki makes him read more alpha? Or if he'd just be ultimate power bottom? š
People probably mistake him for being an alpha sometimes....but I doubt it has much to do with conqueror's haki. But him using it in the bedroom? Ultimate power bottom move.
I totally haven't written him using it on Law already nope no way š
sometimes you see Takesā¢ that make you go "mmmhmmm okay yeah i see we both interpreted that differently based on what the show gave us, but i see how you arrived at your ideas even if they're different from mine," and then sometimes you see Takesā¢ that make you go "brother what show did you even fucking watch"
Funnily enough, Iām not 100% joking. While many animals have paw pads, the particular kind of soft, squishy beans found on housecats are an adaptation for stealth. Squishy beans mean youāre looking at an ambush predator.
It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! Thatās a big deal! Iāve never thought about it before but now that I have, itās ridiculous to me that thatās not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why donāt we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!
Itās July 20th. Thatās the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. Iām ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and Iām going to have a goddamn potluck. Youāre all invited.
PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)
I scheduled this in 2025 to give you all a week to make Moon Day Monday preparations! I think I will order a little rocket cake or bake some moon phase cookies!
GET. AI. OUT. OF. FANDOM. Stop making headcanons with it, stop making fanfic with it, stop making fanart with it. If I see one more "asking chatgpt *blank* about *character/characters in a fandom* I'm going to lose my goddamn mind. Use your own fucking brain, stop asking AI to do everything. You could even ask other real people what they think. Just. Stop. Using. AI. In. Creative. Spaces.
i'm glad that sanji's existence and canon dynamic with zoro makes you miserable. zoro and sanji will always be a duo and a set and your dislike of sanji will never change how important he is to zoro. cry about it.
youre the one who decided to look for my tumblr to make an anonymous ragebait when it has literally zero impact on you lol
chatgpt is a threat to the symbiotic relationship between fanfic writers and their betas. we are losing our traditions. eradicate the soulless machine and ask your friend who has a full time job and 3 kids to annotate your omegaverse fanfiction like any other responsible adult.
If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.
