Some dickjay fics will have Jason getting shy and Dick asking if he’s a virgin but what if instead he just blurts out that he’s not but it’s different this time because now he has a choice
Thank you for the ask, anon ^^ I wrote a little something for it :)
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It’s said as a joke, and maybe it was kind of an assholish one, but the thing was that Jason made jokes all the time too, and Dick couldn’t have known—except that he could, but hadn’t cared about it at the time…
Well, none of that matters. What is important is Jason’s blue-green eyes going wide in the wake of his own words.
It goes like this:
Dick sees Jason’s hesitation in shedding his clothes and saying what he likes in bed, and says “come on, don’t tell me you’re a virgin.”
And Jason replies, “no, it’s just different… Having a choice about this.”
Jason’s an open book written in a language Dick doesn’t speak most of the time, but right now it’s not like that. Meaning is processed in a second, and Jason’s wide eyes are also interpreted: he hadn’t meant to say that. He did, and the knowledge is Dick’s.
A thrill runs through Dick’s body as he fully comprehends the situation. His first thought, though, is unkind. Worse than the joke is what passes through Dick’s mind for a brief second, the idea that Jason’s playing him for sympathy.
It’s not that, and Dick knows. He’s known for a while now, hasn’t he? Closed his eyes to what Bruce’s will could mean—used it against Jason because whatever it was his secret, Dick only cared about containing his brother.
There’s a shuffling noise which gets Dick out of his own head, putting a stop to the growing wave of guilt that was surely about to drown him.
Jason’s moving, swinging his legs over to the side of the bed, clearly intent on leaving.
“Wait,” Dick says. Jason looks at him, waiting like he said, and Dick doesn’t really know what to say. It’s a situation he doesn’t usually find himself in. “We can—I can show you things?”
Jason raises an eyebrow. “That’s not—” he pauses, gives Dick a pointed look. “Pretty sure I know a lot.”
The words hang between them, horrible in a way that makes Dick’s blood boil, but they are also said matter of factly, no drama at all. The words also make his mind wander, but Dick buried that deep, deep down.
“Yeah—” Dick agrees, trying not to let the words weigh him. “I mean, we can find out what you want. Together.”
There’s a moment of silence, and then Jason shrugs and nods. Dick wishes he could demand to know what kind of judgement is going inside his brother’s mind, why he is being given this.
Then again, maybe it’s better not to know, after all.
Having Thoughts for a moment about Dick killing thr Joker and his pain, guilt, and shame for crossing that line potentially being made worse by Jason finding out and falling for him all over again for it.
Puppy love hero worship young crush evolving into genuine love at this irrefutable proof that he was loved over duty, over The Mission, over everything.
And it utterly ripping Dick's heart to shreds all over again to be so loved for something so awful as the blood on his hands. To been seen and loved for his Worst and his Best. Not in spite of. Not because he has worked so hard to Be Good. For ehat he considers his absolute fucking rock bottom, most terrible.
Add to it the genuine brotherly connections they have and this is some Peak Gothic Romance shit, do you feel me.