Bearding Gone Bad; or, The Curious Cases of Zigi, Chiam and Hiddleswift
I am sitting here waiting in transit and have not much else to do in the meantime. I have been watching Zayn’s, Liam’s and Taylor Swift’s growing gay rumors and their jaw-droppingly bad fake relationship and bearding stunts like a slow motion trainwreck slash telenovela.
The question of the day: what happens when people stop believing your PR stunts?
The background: Taylor’s and 1D’s teams love fake relationships and beards. Fake relationships and beards are not uncommon in the entertainment industry, but what distinguishes Taylor and the men of 1D is that they have historically used fauxmances and bearding as cornerstones, rather than auxiliaries, in their promo strategies and PR images. Fauxmances/beards are a cheap and easy means of:
Promotion. They are an easy ruse to generate interest for the press. Bonus points if they involve two or more celebrities since their combined star power allows them to poach each other’s fanbases, e.g. Haylor.
Fandom management and engagement. Fauxmances/beards are an easy way to engage a fanbase. For artists like Taylor and 1D, who both have young, social media savvy and intensive fans that crave access and a sense of intimacy with their idols, the fake boyfriend/girlfriend/beard helps draw fans in. In Taylor’s case, fake boyfriends preserved her heterosexual image while also creating a “relatable” mythos which her (mostly young female) fans are strongly encouraged to engage by identifying with her. In 1D’s case, fake girlfriends preserved their het images while giving their (also young and female) fans an illusion of access to their world, where the boys are idealized objects of hetero romance/sexuality and the “girlfriends” act as proxy for projection and identification. In both cases relatability, a sense of (albeit idealized) attainability, and the fulfillment of heteronormative ideals are central. In other words the target demographic, young women, within the intended marketing script provided, is supposed to want to be like Taylor and look up to her, and to want to fuck and date the men of 1D. Taylor is the Role Model; the men of 1D are what are called in the industry Entry Level Lust Objects (ELLOs). Much like smoking, heteronormativity is most effective when it hooks you young. Which brings us to perhaps the most obvious function of the fauxmance/beard:
Image cultivation and management. Taylor and 1D’s images turn heavily on straightness™ and heterosexual© romance®, and the promise and premise of “attainable” and “authentic” yet idealized projections of these. Obviously, the formula fails if the idol is anything but straight. Also obviously—and depressingly—people are homophobic and might be averse to having a queer idol. But what if your clients are not actually straight? What if they say or do some not so straight things that people actually see, or otherwise botch the show by just performing straightness poorly? What if people start to question or just do not buy your client’s presented straightness™? No worries. The beard and some pandering to heteronormative expectations are here to save the day.
The situation: Less and less people buy Zayn’s, Liam’s or Taylor’s “relationships” anymore. Zigi, Chiam and Hiddleswift have all been widely called out for being fake by fans, the GP and even all levels of the entertainment media alike, and have ignited long fomenting gay rumors.
I wrote the following comparing Taylor’s and 1D’s shared penchant for overdoing it with the beards and fake relationships, and I will quote it here (slightly modified) because I am lazy:
I do think that 1D is getting diminishing returns from their stunts and usual tricks (in 1D Land: No Homo™ stunts). I would compare them to Taylor Swift, whose serial bearding and fakelationshipping eventually got old and stale. She played the same card over and over—fake dating closeted gay men [most of whom are very widely rumored to be gay] to preserve her own het image, build her wronged girlfriend/sweetheart image, and promote her singles and albums—and it did eventually become a joke. People knew her as the girl who would (fake) date another (gay) guy, get seen doing it a few times, then write some songs about it. Her status as a career beard became more and more of an open secret; her own gay rumors spread until they could no longer be contained. And then the bomb that was Kissgate happened, which essentially turned her PR world upside-down and forced her to backtrack on so many of her own story arcs. Long story short: Taylor’s usual tricks got played out—and they gave less and less payoff, until they started giving unintended or unwanted consequences, e.g. people mocking her “date-then-write-a-song” cycle, people getting suspicious about her bearding, people wondering if she herself is gay.
Personally, that is where I see 1D right now: in a weird limbo where everyone with some sense who is paying attention, and even plenty of people who are not paying much attention, basically side-eyes or just sees through their shit. And IMO, it is having some truly bizarre, unintended consequences.
Long story short: Taylor and 1D have overplayed their hands with the fauxmances and beards, and are getting diminishing returns from the same tired tricks. The GP and fans might be persuaded to an extent, even after multiple runs. But overdo it and even those who want to believe it or who like it might start to sense that Something Is Amiss; and those who look into it or ask too many questions or were simply not convinced to begin with might start rolling their eyes or getting outright suspicious.
To quote my friend, who does not care about Taylor or 1D or pop culture much at all, on Swiddles over lunch today: “She [Taylor] way overdid it. I figured it out like two years ago that there’s no way all of her ‘boyfriends’ could be real. She’d ‘date’ them for, what, at most six months, and then write songs about them every time like it was the biggest deal. People know she’s faking it; they aren’t that stupid.”
Same with 1D. The fauxmancing, bearding and generally aggressively heterosexual everything got to be over-the-top and just doing The Most™. Harry got his appointed winter girlfriends during the holiday season to promote 1D’s albums and lead single, like clockwork. Zayn turned up with Perrie and had manufactured cheating scandals and even a fake engagement, always oh-so-conveniently in time for all of releases and projects from Perrie’s band (which oh-so-conveniently shared the same management, PR team and record label with 1D). And why were Louis and Liam seen with Elounor and Sophiam excessively, complete with very planned pap walks (most pap walks are staged [X X]) complete with the same pap agency copyrights every time, very planned and syndicated articles, and tons of visibility and product placement…why…if their “girlfriends” were non-famous ordinary women, who were loudly touted as “private?” Why was a boyband full of teen idols marketed to young women always widely publicizing their “private” “relationships” (three of which were long term), when conventional boyband and teen star marketing wisdom dictates that you hype up the star’s singleness so that there are no roadblocks in the fantasy? (Many J-pop and K-pop boybands’ teams even contractually dictate that members cannot publicly date in order to preserve their singleness = their status as desirable icons of heterosexual masculinity.) Why were the boys of 1D sometimes seen on these very planned pap walks with very syndicated articles with their very “private” “girlfriends”…even when they had literally nothing to promote? Why?
The point is that Taylor and 1D did not just overdo it to the point of diminishing returns. Their fauxmancing, bearding and closeting games had broken down to the point where their old tricks started producing some very odd, unexpected consequences. Fans, the GP, and the media started side-eying harder. Or they just stopped believing altogether.
A Tale of Two Beards: Zigi & Chiam
Zigi is interesting because it was the first fauxmance among the boys to be openly shaded and called out during its lifetime. (Haylor and Hendall were called out, but after they ended.) See here [X X]. And openly called out it was—spectacularly.
Gigi (or Gigi’s social media manager?) responded with panic tweets, which were quickly deleted:
In terms of believability and credibility, this was perhaps the worst thing that could have happened to Zigi. New York Magazine is one of the US’ most prestigious publications (more National Magazine Awards, the highest award in magazine publishing, than any other magazine) and they represent the elite New York literati, whose opinions are influential in American journalism. If a senior writer at NY Mag was not having Zigi’s fakery, then expect that others would take notice. And true to form those callouts set the tone for Zigi that continues until now [X X X X X X X X X X]:
No, this is not how relationships or “relationships” are normally portrayed in the mainstream entertainment press. Even the media stopped playing along and would make shady or outright disdainful comments about Zigi’s fakeness, even continuing to do so when they “broke up” [X X X X X X X X]:
Complete with some shade [X X X X] regarding Zayn’s rumored relationship with Liam:
And including shade that mocked Zigi’s stunts and even their “breakup” by inserting Liam:
It did not help Zigi that their stunts were, as Jessica Roy put it, very juvenile and clearly engineered for “the teen market.” Or that everything they did utterly stank of PR, from Gigi’s spot in the “Pillowtalk” music video (something she did with multiple artists before her) to the Vogue photoshoot, to the Met Gala photo op. When the media decided that they were not playing along with Zigi and would shade and call out their already extreme fakeness, along with fandoms (more so Zayn’s than Gigi’s) that were already suspicious from years of excessive stunting, it was over.
Enter Chiam. As with Zayn and his fake relationship stunting, it seems the media had stopped giving a fuck about playing along with Liam’s shit. See here [X]. So much so, that Dlisted (which also called Zigi a “contract”) called out the bullshit and implied that Liam is gay on day one:
And The Independent rang the death knell for Chiam on day three:
Like the Zigi callout in NY Mag, which represents the highbrow New York literati, the serious side of American journalism; the Chiam callout in The Independent represents the upper end of British journalism. If gossip publications like the tawdry Dlisted as well as respectable mainstream publications like The Independent were not playing along with the charade, then you can bet that no one else would. And like the Zigi callouts, these early Chiam callouts set the tone for Liam and Cheryl, which is ongoing: suspicion, eye rolling, and open mockery from high and low press alike [X X X X X X X X X X X X X X]:
And once again, this is not normal. This is simply not how the mainstream entertainment press typically discusses relationships, real or fake. Fake relationships are not uncommon in showbiz, and there are many unspoken rules of etiquette, including not exposing stunts and shady showbiz lies, so that publications maintain amicable relationships with celebrities’ teams and continue to get those ever-coveted exclusives.
Gossip and niche publications have continued to follow suit with the mainstream press. More shade regarding Liam’s relationship with Zayn [X X X], with bonus shade on Cheryl’s rumored lavender marriages (for the significance of the Ziam/Chiam Popbitch blinds and Liam’s gay rumors in the media see here):
Other than Zayn and Liam being from the same band the contexts for Zigi and Chiam are somewhat different. Whereas Zigi is widely regarded as a PR stunt to promote Zayn’s music and Gigi’s projects with some bearding chatter on the side; Chiam happens off the heels of Cheryl’s widely publicized divorce and departure from The X Factor, when she is only teasing the idea of another album and when Liam has nothing to promote.
Barring a scenario in which these callouts were planned for God only knows what reason, it seems that Zayn and Liam (and 1D in general; see also the Hendall 2.0 callouts/shade [X X X X X X]) had finally overdone it with the fake relationships and beards. Since Zigi and Chiam were occurring under very different premises, what is the common denominator between Zigi and Chiam that would cause them to backfire? A history of hamfisted fauxmancing and stunting, and a gaggle of gay rumors.
Now let us look at the next fauxmance that no one believes: Hiddleswift. One that is happening under different circumstances, since Taylor currently has nothing to promote (unlike Zayn) yet is fresh off the breaking up of a long term “relationship” (unlike Liam). One that also stars a fellow serial fauxmancer with her own beard rumors.
TayTom Hiddleswift: T-Beard Strikes Back
Tayvin had just ended (and Zigi the day after)! The evil Beard Empire had been defeated.
What was Taylor’s longest fauxmance stint, which niche publications had been calling fake from the get-go and which had made fans and casual observers side-eye, had finally ceased and fans were either sad or rejoicing. Either way, cue the typical Taylor Swiftian platitudes towards Gurl Power—with bonus Squad member NewlySingle!Gigi in tow.
Sike! Say hello to Hiddleswift. Taylor was seen in this absurdly awkward and very staged pap shoot with Tom Hiddleston.
Considering the precedent set by Zigi and Chiam, it was perhaps most ironic that Hiddleswift debuted in The Sun—1DHQ’s (Modest!/HJPR/Syco) official mouthpiece—via an “exclusive” from Dan “The Trashcan” Wootton—1DHQ’s favorite lackey.
People openly mocked the pap shoot. Other than the “slut shaming” and criticisms that Taylor was getting back into a “relationship” too quickly after Calvin (which however sexist, still hurt Taylor’s sweetheart image), people cynically made jokes about expecting a new single, about Taylor’s serial fakelationshipping, about Tom Hiddleston’s sexuality (more on that in a bit).
Like Zigi and Chiam before it, the mainstream media, both highbrow and lowbrow, American and British, were not having Hiddleswift. They called it out as fake, they discussed Taylor’s very staged pap shoot, they invited open scorn and cynical derision. A lot of it [X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X]:
Team Taylor had finally overplayed their hand. The media backlash was severe. Fans, the GP and the media all united in scoffing at, lampooning and hardcore side-eying Hiddleswift. Hiddleswift caused the public to take Calvin’s side in the still-fresh Tayvin breakup (that he felt “betrayed” over Hiddleswift), retroactively cast doubts on Tayvin’s legitimacy, and made Taylor look like a publicity starved thirst bucket. That Kim Kardashian gave an interview to GQ claiming that Taylor was always in on her and Kanye’s epic feud at the same time that Hiddleswift started only hurt Taylor more. In that light, Hiddleswift looked like a distraction from being exposed. But it also replaced one exposure (Taylor being in cahoots with Kanye) for another (Taylor being a serial beard). And either way, Taylor’s stunt antics were out in the open.
It had also seemed that, indeed, people had caught up to Taylor’s serial bearding [X X X X X]. They started asking if Tom Hiddleston is gay simply because he is “dating” Taylor. Searches for “tom hiddleston gay” literally skyrocketed:
And shade on and discussions about Taylor’s own gay rumors and rumored relationship with Karlie Kloss had also returned [X X X]:
We come full circle: that last article is especially bizarre because despite ostensibly being about Kaylor, it randomly brings up Zayn and Liam, as well as Zayn’s “relationship” with Gigi, several times.
Why did Vice bring up Zayn and Liam in an article that is supposedly about Kaylor and Hiddleswift, other than the fact that Zayn, Liam and Taylor all cannot seem to get past the media these days without their beards and fake relationships being mocked and called out?
Which leaves us now with the burning question: what exactly is going on here?
IMO the failure of Zigi, Chiam and Hiddleswift to persuade fans, the GP and most strikingly the media of their authenticity, as well as their spectacular breakdowns, can perhaps be understood thusly:
In the scenario that the callouts and shade and the breakdowns of any combination of these “relationships” is unintentional, I think that it is perhaps, as I have suggested above, a simple case of diminishing returns. Perhaps the breakdowns of these narratives are a symptom of people wising up to 1D’s and Taylor’s overused stunts. Simply put, people—be it fans or the media—are over their shit. They are starting to see through Taylor’s serial bearding and “fake-date-then-write-a-song” rinse-and-repeat cycle. They are starting to see through Zayn’s/Liam’s/1D’s obnoxious and over-the-top and frequently not even well-performed displays of heterosexuality and romance. What once worked to secure their het images, engage fans and get their names out there might still get their names out there, but due to overuse and simply poor execution plus the concomitant spread of their gay rumors, now also make people side-eye their “straightness” and simply get tired of their tried-and-true ways of capturing people’s attention.
In the scenario that the callouts and shade and the breakdowns of any combination of these “relationships” is intentional, then things get far far more intriguing. Because if indeed these fauxmances are being undermined on purpose, why would someone undercut their own go-to tricks and expose themselves—especially in Taylor’s case, since it very much goes against her ethos of authenticity? And considering Gigi, Cheryl and Tom, if indeed any of these fauxmances are being undermined on purpose, are they playing along—and what exactly would they get from this? In Zayn’s and Liam’s cases, since they are currently in the middle of a protracted team transition, is it part of an ongoing and messy behind-the-scenes power struggle between outgoing and incoming teams? Is this all a way of transitioning out of the teenybopper, super heterosexual mode of engaging fans that Taylor and 1D have traditionally relied upon? Is it a nod to their past fakery and an attempt to indirectly address it and thus move away from it, without outright admitting that they bearded and had beards, or without too quickly alienating old fans who are attached to the old way of things? Is it an attempt to move out of the closet in some way? Or is it just another ploy for publicity—stupid ideas wrought in dramatic fashion? Profound mysteries.
Personally, I am inclined to think the former over the latter. Because these callouts are not exactly the more flattering and also hard to control. All I can say for sure is that it is one hell of a show.
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