The 10 Most Formative People You Meet in Your 20s
I started this website when I was 23, when all I wanted was to see the positive, the things I loved about my life and New York. It helped me wiggle myself out of the things that were difficult which, at the time, felt like everything, and only see the good. With one month until I turn 30, I’m releasing my ode to my 20s with this list of the 10 most significant people I’ve met this decade.
Who are yours?
1. The one you love - he/she you could see a future with, and whether it happens or not, they help you imagine the life and the feelings you want in it. They help you become the better person you so wish you’d become. With them, every day you get closer. 2. The one you loved - he/she was a first for you in many ways, and while the relationship is no longer, it defined what you want from the person beside you and how they make you feel. They created the boundaries within which you play. You look back on them with mostly warm feelings, for without them, you’d never know what you want and what you don’t. 3. The infatuation - he/she is the one who was addictive and horribly wrong for you, but nearly impossible to resist. When you think of them, you both smirk and recoil. This person used you, and you used them, for very different reasons. This person taught you the value of respect and integrity by not giving it to you. They taught you how unsustainable unbridled passion and obsession is. You learned that highs and lows can tire your soul. This person shook you enough to finally say, “Enough. I am better than this.” Because of this person, you eventually found it. 4. The risk-enabler - this person you went to whenever you were indecisive about a major life event. A job, a health issue, a relationship. Like a safe haven, they listened and supported you, but also motivated you to take the biggest risks of your life. Because of them, you now live more bravely, and you are grateful to them every day for inspiring you to have faith that everything will work out. 5. The guide - this person was your advisor in your career, especially when things were shaky and insecure. They were your trusted source, because you admired them and their career, how they treat people, how they make decisions, even though, they too, are simply winging it. They believed in you and complained with you and applauded you through every step. They opened doors for you where there were none. 6. The lost friend - this person you’ve known most of your life, since childhood. They went on to become someone very different from who they were, while you perhaps changed or did not. They help you realize how far you’ve come. If you met them today, you would not be friends with them. You no longer share the same values, and while you sometimes hang out, to mixed results, this person is mostly gone from the significant events of your life, and you’ve realized it’s, actually, not so big a loss. 7. The new friend - this person represents the person you’ve become. When you see them, you connect so well, because you both met in recent, real time. It is refreshing spending time with this person, because it reminds you who you’ve become, and since you like this person, you like yourself more too, by simply being with them. They give you hope that there are people out there to become friends with, and they inspire you every time you’re together. 8. The loyal friend - this person you’ve known most of your life, likely since childhood. They’ve seen you through the highs and lows of so much experience. They always are there for you. You can be your total self with them, because you both still mostly align on values, and there is nothing that phases the other by now. You are always grateful that you can speak with this person and it will feel right and good and comforting. They know you, and they always will. 9. Your parent - this parent might not always believe in you. Deep down, they believe in you tremendously, but they might have very different desires for you then you’ve developed for yourself. They’re there for you, but in a way that feels sometimes judgmental or fleeting or fair weather. What’s difficult is that they love you more than anyone in the world, but they simply want the best for you. Because your life is out of their control, they cling to fear, as they struggle with you making your own decisions and living your life. When you need them, they are there, loving you fearlessly, relentlessly, unconditionally. 10. You, today - perhaps it happens after an enormously hard but rewarding event, or simply while eating some strawberries at breakfast, but you finally meet the you are today. He/she is far more resilient, braver and kinder than you imagined. Whenever this moment strikes, you realize this you is the strongest you, you've ever known. You are surprising - you.