cephalopod at hearts

He/him. Dave. Discourse blog. Adult content. I'm ADHD, autistic, and queer as hell. Header made by @vaporwavelich. "god help any physician who has the misfortune to encounter you"

[spacelazarwolf]

you know i think i’ve come to the conclusion that the answer to “but what if a cis woman is traumatized by men/male presenting people/whatever?” irt safe spaces is this: if you can’t be in the same room with someone you assume to be male or a man without feeling triggered, it probably means you have a lot more solo therapy and healing to do before relying on group therapy or other communal healing.

because how do you decide who gets to stay and who gets kicked out based on a cis woman’s trauma response? is it based on appearance? should intersex women with facial hair not be allowed because beards are triggering? should butches and studs not be allowed because masculinity is triggering? should talk broad shouldered trans women who don’t want to voice train not be allowed because low voices are triggering? is it based on identity? should a pre transition trans man who came out two days ago not be allowed because he’s a man? is a nonbinary person with a full beard and deep voice allowed because they are not a man?

because if you base your entire set of rules for who’s not allowed in the safe space on what makes cis women uncomfortable or triggers them, you’ve just made that space unsafe for trans people. and you need to decide if you’re ready to own that.

[spacelazarwolf]

guys this is the faggot tranny blog why is this a hot take.

[spacelazarwolf]

!!!!!!!!!!

[grison-in-space]

Y'all last night I realized that being physically hot for extended periods of time is literally a trigger, in that it cues me to remember and be emotionally braced for some fairly traumatic shit that happened when I was hot like that last... which means everything is worse and more stressful while it's happening.

If the only thing to do about it is to cease being hot, I have real bad news for my brain about "global warming" and "living in Minnesota (where there hasn't been as much investment in nuclear level AC)". Like, shit, at least you can ask dudes to clear out of your spaces without invoking King Canute quite that clearly. It's not any more reasonable, but it's marginally less absurd!

No, the thing you do about triggers is you learn to account for them and you practice learning to defang them. That means you gate your own exposure to triggers to minimize the odds of getting blindsided, but you also deliberately spend time around your triggers un-learning the association between them and the scar of your stress. Because asking half the world to avoid you for the rest of time is intrusive and unreasonable, just like asking the world to stop changing climate because that's really inconvenient for me is unreasonable.

It sucks, but that's life! Being aware is only the first step to healing, baby. The rest is like PT: long, shitty, and requiring both a good spotter and a lot of crappy effort to get anywhere with it.

[queer-adhd]

It's so sad that they broke kayfabe on the stock market. Like, we all knew it wasn't real, but everyone pretended so that the finance guys could have fun. Now the magic is gone, and you can reliably predict what the Whitehouse will announce about 15 minutes in advance by looking at the oil futures market.

[queerautism]

They're formalising the market manipulation and insider trading that's already happening, but fully out in the open this time. It's fucked.

[queer-adhd]

It's so sad that they broke kayfabe on the stock market. Like, we all knew it wasn't real, but everyone pretended so that the finance guys could have fun. Now the magic is gone, and you can reliably predict what the Whitehouse will announce about 15 minutes in advance by looking at the oil futures market.

[genderkoolaid]

ohhhh im reading an article about trans men's experiences in the US prison system and its making me see red

[genderkoolaid]

Here's the article, TW for trans(andro)phobia, sexual assault, forced detransitioning

Its an interview with multiple (mostly Black) trans men about their experiences in prison, starting with strip-searches:

The officer [at the men's prison] asked me to lie down on a table, then told me to spread my legs and hold them open,” Graham said, adding that he was then instructed to pull his genitalia back so the officer could “get a better look.” He said he could see that the officer was getting an erection. When the search was over, Graham said, he told a counselor at the facility what had happened.  [...] After having spent several weeks at an Austin jail, Graham was transferred to a women’s prison run by the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. But rather than offer him greater safety and security, the women’s prison “was a million times worse,” he said. Upon his arrival, Graham said, he underwent a strip search in view of a large group of incarcerated women. “They forced me to bend over and open up my legs to make sure I didn’t have a hidden penis,” he said.

They talk about being violently misgendered, denied hormones and surgeries, & forcibly detransitioned:

In addition to what he said was routine verbal and physical harassment from prison staff members, Graham also said he was prevented from dressing and grooming himself in a way that aligns with his gender. Correctional officers told Graham he would get written up unless he grew out his hair, and they forced him to shave his beard, which he had permission to maintain on religious grounds, he said. He also alleged that they told him he was required to wear women’s underwear and a bra, even though he had had his breasts removed. Several other trans men incarcerated in Texas and contacted by NBC News said they had encountered officers who required them to wear sports bras and women’s underwear, as well as to grow out their hair to longer than 2½ inches or risk “catching a case” — getting written up for breaking the rules. According to advocates and currently and formerly incarcerated people, trans men in the state have no routine access to boxer shorts and are unable to buy chest binders, which are used by those who have not yet had top surgery to flatten their breasts.  “I’ve tried to request boxers and chest binders and was denied, which made my depression worse,” Angel Ochoa, 49, another incarcerated trans man in the state, said in a letter. Asked to clarify the state’s position on clothing for transgender people, Hurst, the Texas Department of Criminal Justice spokesperson, said, “Inmates are to dress according to the sex assigned to them at birth.”

It goes into the sexual assault experienced in women's prisons, and that trans men are "protected" through solitary confinement, which discourages them from reporting:

Graham said women on his unit would undress and climb into his bed at night saying they were going to have sex with him or would try to look at his body while he was showering, even though he was supposed to be permitted to shower alone.  Prison staff members did not take steps to keep him safe, he said. After staff members were alerted to one particular incident, he spent about 10 days in “safekeeping,” a form of isolation also known as protective custody. Incarcerated trans people often end up in protective custody for their purported protection, because they are uniquely vulnerable to sexual and physical assault when they are in the general population. But the conditions in protective custody generally mirror the conditions faced by those in disciplinary isolation. When he was in safekeeping, Graham said, he was fed through a door and had very limited access to showers or his property. After a third time in safekeeping, Graham said, he was fed up and vowed never to end up there again.

And it talks about how trans men are seen as violent and hypersexual, and that they are an easy target for blame:

Trans men may also be unfairly identified as threats to other inmates and punished, said El Sabrout, who said others “perceive them as threatening” and “dangerously sexual,” particularly when they begin taking testosterone.  Ochoa said he was once placed in solitary confinement after he was accused of having a sexual relationship with a correctional officer. “Anyone can say anything about you and it’s believed, especially if you’re a trans guy,” said Ochoa, whose prison records were not independently reviewed by NBC News.

So, in summation: "trans men have systemic privilege/power over cis women" shut the fuck up. Also, support prison abolition.

[genderkoolaid]

every person who brings up v-coding (real and serious systemic violence) on my posts as a gotcha for why anti-transmasculinity isn't real / isn't "as bad" needs to read this + about the Louisiana ICE forced labor and sexual abuse program for transmascs and butches, and then give me their next paycheck.

& BEFORE we piss on the poor im not saying the above is literally actually the same as v-coding. i am saying y'all throw around that violence like it's a fucking trump card that proves trans men have male privilege, as if trans men do not also experience transphobic misogynistic sexual violence in prisons.

[skeletonislandtheme]

careful, detective. that’s pure-grade urban cycling youve got there. one hit and you’re saying stuff like “we need more rational curbspace management in this city.” pretty soon you’ll be calling curbside parking “free private car storage” and saying that upstanding car commuters could “kill you quite easily” and at that point it’s too late

[byjove]

I think about The Man of the Hole so often. 27 years alone. 27 years with no one to speak to but strangers to wave to. Survived a genocide, a massacre that killed everyone he had ever known and later, an assassination attempt. He still tried to warn researches about the traps he built. He was only about 60 when he died in 2022. The people who tormented him in life later desecrated his grave.

[byjove]

I do think it is important to share the stories of the Lone Woman of San Nicolas Island and Ishi and the countless other indigenous people who experienced the profound trauma of being the last survivor but it is important to remember that the last Aboriginal families in Australia to be contacted by Europeans were resettled in the 1980s and the Indian government has proposed a plan that will mean total genocide for the Shompen people. The total eradication of indigenous peoples, their cultures, their languages, their ways of life, is not something which occurred in a distant ugly past but an ongoing progress.

[mousegirlheart]

I WANT MARRIAGE EQUALITY NOW

SURE, I CAN LEGALLY MARRY MY WIFE RIGHT NOW, BUT IN DOING SO BOTH OF US WILL HAVE OUR DISABILITY BENEFITS CUT AND WE WILL THEN BE STRUGGLING FINANCIALLY.

THAT IS MARRIAGE INEQUALITY

WE, AS DISABLED PEOPLE, ARE PREVENTED FROM BEING MARRIED OR WE WILL BE FUCKED FINANCIALLY

I WANT TO MARRY MY WIFE

THIS IS UNFAIR

[suggestionsofkindness]

It’s okay to be sad about or grieve the opportunities you miss out on/cannot take due to your health no matter how much you want them. It sucks and it can be heavy and it’s not your fault. You cannot will power your way out of it, it’s a disability because it is disabling. And that can hurt a lot. In a way it’s not an opportunity if you cannot take it, it’s a magical and unrealistic “what if” but they still hurt. So I’m here to tell you and myself that it is okay to be sad, it’s also okay if some people don’t get your limits. You are the one living your life, and I hope true and joyful opportunities are on the way to all who wants and needs them. 🌸

[free-and-to-none-accountable]

[its-a-hil]

[ID: A tweet by Zito (@_Zeets) reading:

Not really doing another round of this absolutely useless argument where the state can employ any and every kind of violence against people, but the second someone throws a rock at their car, the person gets lectured about how violence is not the way. End ID]

[r2x2]

The Amnesty International report that JK Rowling is trying to censor through legal threats.

It can also be found on Google Drive here and on Bluesky here.

[cbarc]

Please save and share this info where possible. This report has since been removed by Amnesty International due to legal threats of libel from JK Rowling. This information is no longer easily accessible.

[helenvaughans]

[yeyinde]

Collins is gone.

Namaygoosisagagun First Nation/Collins has burned to the ground. The entire community is nothing but ashes after being quickly consumed by wildfires. They did not have any support from emergency services, and no one offered aid. The community saved themselves by escaping into boats because no one came.

Mishkeegogamang and Cat Lake have lost power. Families are ending up in shelters with nothing. Armstrong, Lac La Croix, Whitesand, Gull Bay, Lac des Mille Lacs are currently in the fires path and all members are being evacuated.

All this loss, all this devastation, and it was entirely preventable.

After steadily underfunding wildland firefighting and purposefully excluding Indigenous wildland firefighters and Indigenous wildfire organizations from wildfire operations, firefighter training, decisionmaking, and resource exchanges, in 2025, Doug Ford slashed the forest firefighting budget.

It's hard to ignore his decision to cut funding and leave us out of adequate fire training (even though we've lived with forest fires for thousands of years—far longer than settlers have been in Canada—and made sure fires like the ones we're all seeing today were prevented through kinisitotēn) when, despite making up less than 5% of the population, we account for 42% percent of all wildfire evacuations in Canada.

And when we are successfully evacuated, we face discrimination and racism—like Kashechewan—because it's always been easier to blame us than it is to blame the true culprit: denialism, corportate greed, and colonization.

The people of Collins and every other impacted community deserve better.

Right now, the AFN is currently accepting donations to help Collins First Nation. If you're able to, please consider donating.

ONWA (Ontario Native Women's Association) is another great place to donate to. They have outreach vans going to motels and inns and offering food, water, resources, and cultural support to those impacted by the wildfires.

Other places to consider donating to are Mikinakoos Emergency Fund, Red Cross, True North Aid, Indigenous Climate Action. You can also send donations directly to Whitesand First Nation via e-transfer ([email protected]) and they request that you add your full name in the e-transfer comment section to receive a tax receipt.

*Before sending money, verify that the appeal appears on an official First Nation, Tribal Council or registered charity channel.

If you can't offer financial support, please consider donating items of need. Moontime Connections is currently accepting drop-off donations. If you live in the Thunder Bay area, Namaygoosisagagun Health Office is also taking in donations! They can also bemailed to Superior Inn Hotel & Conference Centre at 555 West Arthur Street, Thunder Bay, ON, P7E 5P8.

items needed are: food, diapers, medical masks, men’s and women’s joggers (all sizes), children’s clothing (newborn to size 14), children’s shoes, summer clothing, men’s clothing, toiletries (lotion, Vaseline, toothpaste, toothbrushes, shampoo, conditioner, soap, deodorant, etc.), strollers, adult depends-all sizes, dog & cat food

wīya ispīh iyiniw-kiskīyihtamowin pasikōpayiki kāwi askiy ta-iyihyīmakan

[queer-adhd]

Alright, new British prime minister!

[iamwizzzzz]

[warcrimesimulator]

[the-bi-wonder]

When I was diagnosed at age sixteen, after having one period in the eighth grade and then never again till a medically induced one my junior year of high school - my uterine lining measured in centimeters because it was so thick, my mother turned to me in the car. She was upset. Literal tears in her eyes. And she told me her friend had PCOS, but was still able to have kids. That this was still a possibility for me if I did injections and fertility treatments, etc. My mom had never asked me if I wanted kids, she just assumed.

My first conversation about PCOS with my new endocrine/OBGYN was about weight management and how that could improve my fertility when I eventually wanted kids. It wasn't asked what my goals were for my health or if I wanted kids, just assumed.

I was a hormonal, depressed mess. I hated my body. My body dysmorphia was so bad that I cloistered myself away from so much. I wore hoodies and jeans in the 90°F, 80% humidity summers. This was considered fine. I was given metformin and birth control pills and told this was all that could be done. That PCOS wouldn't affect my life until I wanted to be pregnant. I wasn't asked if I wanted to be pregnant, just assumed.

I don't know how many PCOS groups I joined on my early 20s hoping to find community and commonality for body dysmorphia and symptom management, only to be bombarded with fertility treatments and tips and 'inspirational conception' anecdotes. They never asked if I was attempting to conceive, just assumed.

It's a problem. It's been a problem. And thank god I learned to speak up and find medical professionals that would help me with *MY* goals. I shouldn't have had to, someone should have recognized the needs of that sixteen y.o. and protected her, but I can only hope the conversation changes as awareness increases.

[queer-adhd]

Fucking tired of movie bullshit!! Sorry to the handful of actors I enjoy but we gotta blow the whole thing up and start over I am sick and tired of this shit. I am done with trailers that last for 5 fucking minutes, done with sequels and reboots and remakes, done with Everyone From Everything Is In this, done with We Spent Billions of Dollars On Absolute Garbage, done with the entire fucking thing. We're resetting it. Everyone gets ten grand, 5 aspiring actors they sort of know, and a cabin in the woods. We are not letting the military anywhere near any of this shit, I don't care if you want a free helicopter. Go make some fucking art and free us from this hellscape.

[pspsappho]

& honestly there's no debate to be had the zendaya earrings are orders of magnitude worse than kim kardashian wearing that marilyn dress. yes that piece was a one of a kind unique textile made so specifically for marilyn monroe she had to be sewn into it. at the end of the day it was a ~70 year old usamerican cultural artefact being repurposed by an american for an american cultural event and everyone involved knows exactly where the dress came from + what happened to it + where it went afterwards. zendaya is wearing the looted (or forged) cultural heritage of a people her government is currently bombing & whose lives they have been deliberately making unliveable for decades to a movie premiere that has fuck all to do with iran. we don't know where those discs came from where they were found or by whom & we never will. AND the jeweller appears to have altered them substantially from their original condition. destroying a people's cultural heritage at the same time you destroy their country + their lives so you can look good on a red carpet One Time i want to fucking hurl

[uhhhhmanda]

Zendaya’s The Odyssey premiere earrings spark ethics row

The earrings, worn by Zendaya at The Odyssey press tour, are believed to be 2,000-3,000 years old and come at a time when the US is bombing

An archaeologist quoted in the article says "the point of these earrings is not to showcase legitimate ancient artistry, it is to fetishize the past, to be a commodity, stolen from the elite, circulated illegally, and immorally…this is about class signalling."