Fml I Need Omnipotence @tired-philosopher - Tumblr Blog

did you know you can rename everything on your pc

i've been using computers since 2009 i know how computers work you people need to stop assuming people know nothing about computers. yes i know you can change icons. i just made this post because i wanted to make a silly post about my puter. so many of you people would be the least fun person at parties because of how you go "omgf youre so stupid wait until you learn about (thing)" like politely. shut the fuck up and start being nicer to strangers on the internet

have some fucking joy and whimsy and instead say "its so awesome people are learning about this"

not-your-average-url

I miss when ads were a single click and then they’re gone. Now every ad has a minimum of three phases where you watch a video, exit the still frame of fake gameplay, and then exit the app download. That doesn’t even touch on the ones that forcibly take you to another app after opening a tab in safari without you ever touching the screen.

I hate advertising. I hate that you can’t do anything without companies jumping down your throat with mostly bullshit ads. I hate that billboards exist. I hate that every company unanimously decided to make their ads longer and longer. I hate that ad blockers try to charge you money and there are in app purchases to remove ads. I hate that my attention has become commodified. I hate that there’s nothing I can do about it.

melancholygirls

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

stillalittlekid

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT

christ-with-a-why

iamnotlanuk

dahliavandare

You’re just not ready. At no point in this video when he says the next thing are you ready.

thyfleshc0nsumed

I saw a dude with an American flag tattoo on his arm (there were a LOT of boyfriends of bisexual women at this event) and I said "is that an American flag tattoo?" and he was like "yeah" and I was like "...why?" and he was like "I had 16 cousins die serving this country" lollll

foolstooth

good-fwiend-in-wome

my neighbor told me the war machine keeps eating his cousins so i asked how many cousins he has and he said he just goes to his uncles and gets a new cousin afterwards so i said it sounds like he's just feeding cousins to the war machine and then his daughter started crying

susiehunsecker-remade

this is one of my favourite posts of all time

alexmey-does-an-arts

MY STUPID FUCKING CAT WONT STOP TRYING TO TOUCH THE BEEHIVE

asteroidtroglodyte

Quick shout out to the Down syndrome kid from my after-school program back when I was in grade school. Like yea he had the usual issues but he was a sweetheart and quite funny; and one day both his parents showed up at the same time to pick him up and I had the experience of meeting a family of genetically disabled people that had jobs and a home and a kid in school and it was a profoundly normalizing experience for me like I couldn’t take eugenicists seriously after that because like “no they totally can have whole entire meaningful lives with marriage and children and work and hobbies have you not met Dennis??” Anyway quick shout out to Dennis you were a real one

gayvampyr

it really pisses me off when adults sit there and drill it into kids’ heads that their youth is fleeting and tell them things like “enjoy your childhood while it lasts because this is the best it’s gonna get”. why are you telling children that adulthood is the worst thing they can experience? seriously what the fuck is wrong with you, why are you trying to make them feel like growing up is a fate worse than death? trying to convince them their life is over before it even begins? i’m tired of that shit. because tell my why my 12 year old cousin told me when she turns 30 she’ll be so depressed she’s just gonna cry all the time. what the fuck. kids don’t need to hear that their already stressful and overwhelming lives are never going to get better, that the abuse and lack of autonomy they face is apparently the highlight of their lives. they need to hear about adults who are happy to be alive and happy to have made it to their age. they need to know that growing up rules, it’s a gift and life does not have to suck for them, that they have a future that’s worth sticking around for. this rhetoric is so damaging mentally and i’m about to start hitting the adults who parrot it. i’m sorry you hate your life but you don’t get to dump your issues on these kids. don’t piss me off and leave these babies alone!

luckyladylily

So the thing is boobs really do be jiggling. If having breasts has taught me anything it is that the ladies frolic. I don't even have that large of boobs but every time I go down some stairs all I can think about is that stupid quote about boobing breastily down the stairs or whatever it is because God Damn.

But anime and video game boob jiggling is like. The most uncanny valley shit I've ever seen nine times out of ten. You would think people this horny about tits would have actually looked at some but I guess not.

What we really need is some pervert to compile the ultimate visual guide to boob bouncing physics that's just like 500 hours of meticulously organized videos of breasts of different size and shape and under different fabrics bouncing around from a wide variety of physical movements so horny game devs can finally get it right and I don't have to be creeped out by women who appear to have surgically implanted softballs in their chest under skin made of rubber bands.

assaultmystic

a quirk of sexting while british is switching from arse to ass. i would never fuck someone in the arse. its impolite.

evilneo

infertilityidol

dragongirlbunny

there is nothing a corporation hates more than having employees, but a close second is having to provide a good or service in order to make money. these two reasons concisely explain is why the ai bubble formed in the first place.