Absolute. Shenanegans. @toastyuriko - Tumblr Blog

Goodbye, Tumblr

I'll miss you

I clicked on the link for context, there is none. I looked through the comments for context, there is none- in fact theres only self promotion comments and its utterly confusing. Can SOMEONE provide some context?

eveisnep

I thought it looked like LA so I searched up fires. I believe an arson set fire to the Da Vinci apartments. 🙏

toastyuriko

Thank you so much!

skygenders

bi women what is ur wisdom tonight

skygenders

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

God I was at that restaurant in Annapolis yesterday that serves those 4 lbs milkshakes and these two dudes were just finishing one together and people were asking them for tips and they were like “you have to get like mint chocolate chip or something because if there’s no texture it gets too boring to finish” and all I could keep thinking was that it can only be a matter of time before some god wipes this town off the map and we will have earned it with our disgusting hubris

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

Everyone who has ever finished one of these will have it weighed against a feather when they die

bearisthename

Doable? Maybe

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

Listen. After the Burger Incident of 2016 I’ve learned to accept my fragile mortality and live within the boundaries set for humanity by the Universe.

bearisthename

I’m a little nervous but my curiosity is overwhelming~ what, pray tell, is the Burger incident of 2016?

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

In 2016 the day Pokémon Go came out I worked up a big appetite with my friends and we went to Steak ‘n Shake and I decided that none of the burgers looked big enough which…..I don’t know if I thought the photos on the menu were actual size I don’t know what was going on but

I asked the server for the biggest one they had and she said “that’s the 7x7, it’s not on the menu…you don’t want that”

And immediately my friends knew I was fucked because I felt challenged which I blame on my middle child syndrome and also on that I am by birth just an idiot so I ordered it without knowing competitive food bloggers write entire articles about this thing.

I sort of knew I was in trouble when the cook came to see who’d ordered it but I wasn’t backing down and in the end I ate all 1300 calories and THEN the fries and ALSO my shake and I had to go to my friend’s and take a three hour nap and when I woke up I was so fucked up that I just started eating leaves straight off her mint plant because antacids weren’t going to cut it.

Then I complained for like two days and Ultimately I learned absolutely nothing.

sissy-butch

In case anyone wanted a visual for the 7x7

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

Hubris

dragonkingofthestars

When you can’t decided between pride and gluttony so commit both sins at the same time.

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

This is the only comment allowed now

iwouldlikeamuffinplease-deactiv

Committing pride and gluttony together is now officially on the bucket list.

parrotiny

i want to know what bears think sometimes

mediocrechick

parrotiny

morgluxia

doublesslightpeppa-deactivated2

ofools

transpeter-deactivated20180411

i’m happy that mcu peter’s spidey sense isn’t being shown as a miracle worker, like i’m happy peter’s sense went off to danger that was laughably close to peter. people have this misconception (mainly due to the 2002 spidey films) that his spidey sense will give peter a heads up to threats wayyyyy in advance, but that’s not the case. like there have been many times when peter’s spidey sense doesn’t really alert him to danger until the danger is really close, sometimes close enough that regular people have already noticed said danger.

and even then, peter often ignores it bc it can go off to things that aren’t necessarily a threat but COULD be. like a wad of paper being thrown at him by flash, a puddle on the floor that could make him slip. so sometimes peter just ignores it bc it goes off all the time to shit that really isn’t that dangerous. the sense is basically like a really reliable, and sometimes annoying, gut-feeling. the spidey sense is so cool but it’s still a sense not that different from sight or hearing or taste or touch, and it isn’t all powerful or always very helpful.

transpeter-deactivated20180411

madmen

radioactive spider: look! i made a superhero!

the avengers: you fucked up a perfectly good teenager is what you did. look at him. he’s got anxiety.

thewritersramblings

30-minute-memes

rythen

The onion isnt even in the vicinity of fucking around

ofinfinitespace

No, but actually my partner worked at the Onion for two years and came out radicalized.

magnesiumflare

That he started not really wanting the job and unionized the place on the way out is maybe one of my favorite character arcs

churchyardgrim

god this is a big ask but I really wish there were like….. a site where you could plug in your state/district/whatever and tick some boxes on issues you prioritize and then the site would give you a rundown of the potential candidates in your area and where they stand on those issues in like….. clean simple bullet points. gimme the cliffnotes, I literally do not have the time or energy to comb through god knows how many articles and shit to figure out who to support, just tell me what their stance is on X, Y, and Z, and that’s gonna have to be enough.

antis-are-abusive

There’s BallotReady!

It goes through who’s on your ballot and explains things like that based on your address.

jumpingjacktrash

this is really great. it gives you bullet points on what each candidate has said and done on each issue.

very illuminating, frankly, seeing the candidate’s own words and actions. for instance, under ‘defense/veterans’ the republican candidates almost always say something about a well-funded military, and the democrats almost always say something about getting veterans the medical care they need. makes it pretty obvious that republicans don’t care about soldiers once they’re done with them.

toastyuriko

Vote411.com is also very useful for this! This is where I go to look at the issues I will see on my ballot.

badjokesbyjeff

A good percentage of my friends are Nazis.

That percentage is zero. That’s a good percentage of Nazi friends to have.

a-boy-called-micah

op change your url this is fucking fantastic

pietriarchy

corporate: we wont pay you a cent above min wage

also corporate: why are all the good employees quitting? why are we understaffed? we gotta fix the high turnover rate that happens god knows why. everyone on the floor go and work harder to compensate while we figure out this mystery thanks

sindri42

oh it’s worse than that. Corporate refuses to pay for enough people to work enough hours at minimum wage to keep the store running, allowing fewer people every month to actually be working in the store at any given time, and then is utterly bewildered when sales start to go down because there’s no service and nobody can find anything.

saywhat-politics

jakovu

When you vote a straight democrat party it changes Beto to Cruz on some machines. If you’re in Texas and voting please RECHECK your answers. If your machine does this, notify someone working at the polling site.

Oh my god