I Am Returned @tomorroe-jones - Tumblr Blog

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animate-mush

Dracula: I have crossed oceans of time to find you - you are the reincarnation of my own beloved wife!

Mina: I see. And we got married when exactly?

Dracula: uhhhhhhh mid 1400s I think? It's been like 500 years

Mina: cool. And then I ...died, is that right?

Dracula: it destroyed me! But you are alive now!

Mina: and then - let me make sure I'm following - then you died also?

Dracula: to arise as you see me now - immortal Lord of Darkness!

Mina: right. But, technically speaking, you did die first, right? And continue to be dead at this time? Like, medically speaking?

Dracula: I am the Great Undead who-

Mina: do you have a heartbeat?

Dracula: I no longer require such things

Mina: so I am the living wife of a dead husband, is that correct?

Dracula: in your mortal pedestrian terms - but I shall

Mina: uh huh. Let me consult my lawyer. Darling, what is the legal status of the living wife of a dead husband?

Jonathan: according to the Widows & Orphans act, the living wife of a dead husband is defined as a widow

Mina: and I think I heard somewhere that a widow is at liberty to marry again

Jonathan: according to English common law, with biblical precedent, that is correct

Mina: cool. I choose this guy.

Jonathan: (yippee)

Mina: I believe I am also entitled to half his stuff via intestate succession?

Jonathan: yes that is correct, the remainder to be equitably divided between yourself and any other heirs of his body

Mina: cool. Did we have kids?

Dracula: well no but -

Mina: great. I always wanted a Castle

steelbluehome

I feel like I need to reiterate this, Americans, we do not EVER turn anyone in for the reward money, because the reward money is a LIE!

There will be a reason they come up with for not giving it to you. Even Nancy, the snitch at McDonald's, who everyone in the world knows turned in Luigi Mangione, will not get a penny of the reward money. The reason she is getting is that she called 911 instead of the tip line.

But there are other reasons, like, the cops already had the info you gave them from "other sources". "Lots of other people" called in the same tip. The reward was "up to" the amount promised, so you're getting $1.50. You didn't do the proper paperwork before you gave the tip. And just about anything else you can think of.

They won't give any money out until the person is actually convicted, not just arrested. It could take years for a case to even get to court. If the suspect takes a plea deal, then did your info really lead to a "conviction"? Or by the time the suspect is convicted, suddenly the money is not there. Reward money? What reward money? It isn't like they have it sitting in a box waiting to hand it over to you after the conviction. No, after the conviction, now they need to try to find the amount they put up for the reward. And who's budget is that going to come out of? Who wants to put that money in your pocket instead of their own? Okay? Understand? Got it?

You never get the reward money!

regularlesbian

come on

margbarcis

this is fucked up

ripleyandweeds

something about this bird just unlocked something insane in scientists’ heads

regularlesbian

this is unlocking something insane in my head to be fair

villainessbian

look! it's a flambeedle! it's short for flamboyant needle

ayeforscotland

Proteomics International soared 24pc to 75c on news its PromarkerEndo test could successfully diagnose all stages of endometriosis, which af

This is fucking excellent news. Researchers in Australia have managed to achieve near perfect results for a blood test that can detect endometriosis.

Until now endometriosis has only been diagnosable through invasive abdominal surgery.

This is an amazing game changer.

benvolioknowsbest-blog

Rarely is a potential medical advancement so reclvolutionary, but this actually would be. If it was to actually come to fruition, we'd be looking at a way to make the dismissal of women's pain much less likely. Women across the world could be given answers in a non-invasive way, research would be that much easier to conduct, measure and apply to real-world applications. It would truly change EVERYTHING.

ayeforscotland

Surgeries would actually be targeted instead of simply exploring (often with mixed results) and hundreds if not thousands of doctors hours could be freed up too.

tilthat

TIL that the reason lead levels in children’s blood have dropped 85% in the past thirty years is because of an unknown scientist who fought car companies to end leaded gasoline. He also removed it from paint, suggested its removal from pipes, and campaigned for the removal of lead solder from cans.

via ift.tt

squeeful

Yep. It also correlates extremely strongly with an increasing decrease of violent crime. One of the symptoms of low level constant lead exposure is increased aggression and volatility.

kurowrites

“Unknown scientist”? That was Clair Cameron Patterson.

solarpunkcast

Gas companies are still so mad at him he’s “unknown scientist”, know his name

bogleech

Daily reminder that health and safety standards like these are what politicians mean when they talk about “deregulation.”

prismatic-bell

Patterson died 5 December 1995.

Petition to make his date of death a Tumblr holiday celebrated by talking about cool shit the gas and petroleum industries don’t want us to know about, and fighting to continue his work.

kittydesade

Happy Clair Cameron Patterson day!

ailelie

Oh, hey, it’s almost Clair Cameron Patterson day!

tsunflowers

homeschooling in the US needs to be regulated but this is one of those conversations that immediately gets crushed by extremist conservatives and even well-meaning liberals will pipe up to be like "well some homeschooling is good!" when that's absolutely not relevant. regulation will not change anything for the homeschooling families who are serious about their children's education. the people who need to be regulated are the fringe extremists

tsunflowers

the lack of regulation is so bad that according to the coalition for responsible home education 11 states don't even require parents to tell anyone they intend to homeschool and 18 more only require a notice of intent. after that there is nothing the state can do to ensure that the children are actually learning or even being cared for

don't bring up the good homeschoolers when the bar is so low that "requiring all parents nationwide to submit a notice of intent to homeschool" would be an improvement. the good homeschoolers are already doing things that are this simple and reasonable. we are not talking about them when we say things should be regulated

hometoursandotherstuff

strangetikigod

mysharona1987

reagan-was-a-horrible-president

mousegirlheart

lol. lmao even.

rowantreesandberries

*how* did I let myself forget how fucking amazing Aabria is as Antiope? She's so fucking cool!! Rewatching the seven was def the best thing I could do for my general life

tomorroe-jones

In the Airship fight, when she uses the Boots to jump like 30 feet straight up and uses Sharpshooter to hit that dude harder than they have ever been hit it my life…

I was a @quiddie fan FOR LIFE.

sometiktoksarevalid

bogleech

Doing this benefits these species tremendously. They can become so rare over such a vast area as people destroy the only plants they can eat, every single one that survives makes a positive difference!

say-hi-intrepid-heroes

some of yall really out here missing the entire point of misfits and magic

you can't make a problem go away just by pretending it doesn't exist. you have to call it out.

misfits and magic calls out that book series in every way possible, from the general discrimination to the lack of diversity to the specific idea that kids are evil from age 11.

should that book series get more publicity? no. but if the bullshit that author does is ignored, it will only fester and become a bigger problem. call out the issue without giving the issue any money. call out the issue in an effective manner. and in this case, call out the issue in a fun way that supports actual queer people.

godlessondheimite

fluffmugger

#so did they miss the part where gatsby ends up floating dead in a pool and all the miserable deaths in wuthering heights#or did they miss that because there weren’t any chapters titled In Which The Sinners Are Punished For Their Errors#like. even if you require explicit moral instruction from literature it’s pretty hard to miss the comeuppance in those.

pennie-dreadful

“What I assume my teachers were trying to teach me”

doctorbluesmanreturns

Huck Finn is about a white Southern boy who was raised to believe that freeing slaves is a sin that would send you directly to hell who forges a familial bond with a runaway slave and chooses to free him and thereby in his mind lose his salvation because he refuses to believe that his best friend and surrogate father is less of a man just because he’s black. Yes it features what we now consider racial slurs but this is a book written only 20 years after people were literally fighting to be allowed to keep other human beings as property, we cannot expect people from the 1880s to exactly conform with the social mores of 2020, and more to the point if we ourselves had been raised during that time period there’s very little doubt that we would also hold most if not all of the prevalent views of the time because actual history isn’t like period novels written now where the heroes are perfect 21st century social justice crusaders and the villains are all as racist and sexist as humanly possible. Change happens slowly and ignoring the radical statement that we’re all human beings that Twain wrote at a time when segregation and racial tensions were still hugely prevalent just because he wrote using the language of his time period is short-sighted and foolhardy to the highest degree.

mikkeneko

I’m really kind of alarmed at the rise in the past few years of the “and we do condemn! wholeheartedly!” discourse around historical figures. it seems like people have somehow boomeranged between “morals were different in the past, therefore nobody in the past can ever be held accountable for ANY wrongs” to “morals are universal and timeless, and anything done wrong by today’s standards in the past is ABSOLUTELY unforgiveable” so completely, because social media 2.0 is profoundly allergic to nuance

please try this on for size:

there have always been, in past times as today, a range of people in every society, some of whom were even then fighting for a more just and compassionate accord with their fellow man and some of whom let their greeds and hatreds rule them to the worst allowable excesses. the goal of classics and history education is to teach you enough context to discern between the two, not only in the past but in the present

three--rings

My mind just boggles at the “There’s Racism In That Book” argument. Yes, there is racism in that book, because that book is ABOUT RACISM. The message is that it is BAD.

My high school English teacher, who was a viciously brilliant woman, used to say that when people banned Huck Finn they said it was about the language, but it was really the message they were trying to ban, the subversive deconstruction of (religious) authority and white supremacy.

lyricwritesprose

Huckleberry Finn can actually be seen as a powerful case study in trying to do social justice when you have absolutely no tools for it, right down to vocabulary. And in that respect, it’s a heroic tale, because Huck—with absolutely no good examples besides Jim, who he has been taught to see as subhuman, with no guidance, with everyone telling him that doing the right thing will literally damn him, with a vocabulary that’s full of hate speech—he turns around and says, “I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to participate in this system. If that means I go to Hell, so be it. Going to Hell now.”

(I used to read a blogger who insisted that “All right, I’ll go to Hell,” from Huckleberry Finn is the most pure and perfect prayer in the canon of American literature. Meaning, as I understand it, that the decision to do the right thing in the face of eternal damnation is the most holy decision one can make, and if God Himself is not proud of the poor mixed-up kid, then God Himself is not worth much more than a “Get thee behind me,” and the rest of us should be lining up to go to Hell too. Worth noting that this person identified as an evangelical Christian, not because he was in line with what current American evangelicals believe, but because “they can change their name, I’m not changing mine.” Interesting guy. Sorry for the long parenthetical.)

Anyway, the point of Huck Finn, as far as I can tell, is that you can still choose to do good in utter darkness, with no guidance and no help and none of the right words.

And when you put it like that, it’s no wonder that a lot of people on Tumblr—people who prioritize words over every other form of social justice—find it threatening and hard to comprehend.

Well, the day your kid starts their senior year of high school seems like as good a day for an existential crisis as any.