dyke with hysteria @toothy-torpedo - Tumblr Blog

Bonus: If I buy a book I get to keep it! The publisher can't turn up at my house at random and confiscate all the books I bought.

cikero

did anyone else see that seal that just ended up on the street in connecticut

cikero

bonyassfish

No place for a little seal

bungerc0re

it's called a ball python because it is a python(🐍) that ball(🟠)

contemptible-scoundrel

nothing in the rules says a python can't play basketball

yorgen-sh

The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes

scarlettohairdye

And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles

teaboot

This is Peak Yuri media and I hope my beautiful feral daughters love each other forever

greelin

no i don’t hold onto resentment ever. Hope they die though however

guelwaar

people love the idea of the mean girl nurse pipeline because it problematises medical abuse as a personal perversion rather than understanding it as a product of broadly held ableist values and its like, if this was only about ontologically evil teenage girls choosing to enter a profession because of their unique sadism then you really wouldnt expect to see the exact same forms of abuse pervading all arrangements of paid, unpaid, formal, ad hoc, and familial caretaking as well -- its more comforting to believe the nurse was just a preexisting bad person than that most of the world broadly hates disabled people and will abuse, neglect, and gaslight them if given power over their care

jewfrogs

kids were roleplaying with minecraft figurines and one of them had their figure go up to the other and say “i’m in love with you” and the other one replied “sword slash to the chest. and you’re on fire”

randomfae

myothertardisisonthemun

nereb-and-dungalef

can't believe ppl think being gay is a new thing when the epic of gilgamesh is literally right there

nereb-and-dungalef

to be fair i guess the epic of gilgamesh wasn't always right there. it had to be written by hobby lobby

nereb-and-dungalef

happy pride month hobby lobby

lymphonodge

scrappy doo has been found dead in miami

snootgaze-deactivated20170620

is he okay

lymphonodge

hes alright but he died

saltoncity

scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close

hppjmxrgosg

"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.

hppjmxrgosg

you shut your mouth.

quietwingsinthesky

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

gotylocks

Happy 10th birthday to the best tweet of all time.

justsomeguycore

horror movie showing a child’s drawing of the monster or ghost or whatever but instead of a little kid and crayons they’re like a preteen and it’s manga style

picsthatmakeyougohmm

cryptotheism

If staff reformed the ban system to stop banning trans women and used the resulting good will to re-introduce pornography, this site would become a juggernaut. It would swallow Twitter whole.