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dungeonmastersconsortium

I'm very taken with this metal vocalist that has a parrot who wants to participate

original by reebz_uk

mikkeneko

#give it up for hatebeak... 2!!

inkskinned

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

inkskinned

i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.

i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.

as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.

disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.

at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.

i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.

i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.

we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.

damazcuz

When you have a hammer, every problem looks like it's a nail. And when you have a character, every post looks like it's about them. And that's cause it is! 😊 #wisdom

beholdingslut

in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

dikdikpronouncedxylophone

bigfoots-biggest-fan

HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY

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Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...

Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).

punkrorschach

happy first day of pride everyone

dailynarnia

is jake gyllenhaal gay??

why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this

trickstarbrave

BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU

silvaurum

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

silvaurum

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

silvaurum

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

fallout-lou-begas

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snoleopard7

quietwingsinthesky

like the betrayal’s always going to be worse if they cared about you and it didn’t matter. someone discards you because they didn’t give a shit, then you can be angry about that, you can feel vindicated in that, you can get over it. but if they can look you in the eyes and say “I love you. I would make the same choice again.” You will never sleep peacefully again, is all.

quietwingsinthesky

“I thought they cared about me, but they were lying this whole time.” <- tired. boring. removes all the nuance of this relationship to make it easier to move on from.

“I thought they cared about me, and I was right, and every minute they were there for me, every time they said they were proud, every laugh we shared leaning against each other bruised and breathless, all of it was real. and they still left me behind. They could put their love aside. I couldn’t.” <- insane. will never leave you alone. reminds you that even the worst people are still people and can still care about even the ones they hurt the most and that undoes neither the harm nor the love.

quietwingsinthesky

okay. something about the way i worded this is making people think this is a vent thing about real relationships. and it’s fine if that’s where it took you. but i feel like i need to be transparent here: this be blorboposting. karlach cliffgate and her terrible awful no good very bad betrayal.

quietwingsinthesky

they are seasoning my fucking post with unknown herbs. beefleaf. the fuck’s a beefleaf. why are you putting that in the stew.

shopcat

look at this wonderful gif of scallops getting scared and scattering like a flock pigeons

elioftheasphodel

whatever. go my scallops

whitachi

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

buttpoems

indigonite

Through Miku all things are possible so jot that down

scramratz

everyone u reblog is safe right? i feel like u reblog a lot of ppl and i just want to make sure ur vetting them all first,,,

Everybody I reblog from is evil and does crimes aplenty

catkola

Bitches wanna buy their boyfriends the latest consoles but when was the last time he CONSOLED you? ps 5 years ago

noknowshame

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

blackarachnya

the morbius jokes got stale fast but sony misunderstanding them and rereleasing the movie only to cause it to lose even more money was an all timer moment. we couldnt recreate that situation if we tried