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Love, support, advice, and positivity from your favorite Torchwood characters.

[torchwoodpositivity]

I have finals coming up and there’s a lot riding on my genetics final...I’m having a hard time staying positive about it even though I know I have no chance of doing well if I’m not positive about it. Could I get some positivity from Jack, Tosh, and/or Ianto, please? ☺️

First of all, the entire team wants you to know that you’re already doing amazing.  School is tough, and it takes a lot of dedication and hard work to do well.

Tosh knows what that kind of pressure is like.  She was nearly overwhelmed by schoolwork several times in her uni career and she knows how frustrating and exhausting it can be.   She suggests making a revision timetable - which topics within genetics to study on what days.  A little bit at a time, so as not to overwhelm yourself.   Take frequent breaks, drink lots of water, make sure you’re eating well and getting good sleeps are just as important as the information you’re reviewing!  Tosh knows you can do this!

Ianto remembers that the thing that helped him the most when he was in school was teaching the subject he was reviewing to someone else.  If you understand it well enough to explain it to someone else, you’re doing amazing!  Ianto wants you to take care of yourself and make sure you’re not overdoing it!

Jack agrees with above advice and just wants you to know that you rock, and that you’re are going to do your absolute best, whatever that best may be.  

They all have faith in you!  You can do it! <3

[torchwoodpositivity]

Hi, could I get some advice from the team for dealing with anxiety and bouts of depression, even when there isn't anything to be stressed or sad over? Much love to everyone running this brilliant blog xx

Firstly, the whole team wants you to know that everything you’re feeling is legitimate and valid.  Just because it doesn’t seem like there’s anything to be sad or stressed about doesn’t mean its not real.

Gwen can relate.  Sometimes things seem completely fine in the moment but she still feels a background level of anxiety and worry she can’t explain.  When it does, she tries to take some deep breaths and look around her, trying to ground herself in the moment.  There’s an activity she suggests you try when you’re feeling anxious or jittery:  1. find and acknowledge 5 things around you2. find and touch 4 things around you3. acknowledge 3 things you can hear4. acknowledge 2 things you can smell1. acknowledge 1 thing you can taste (food, gum, what does the inside of your mouth taste like, etc)

It can help calm your nerves as you distract your brain and distance yourself from the anxiety.

Tosh and Ianto can also relate, to both the stress and the sadness.  The little things get to Ianto and cause him much stress, and Tosh has been known to go through periods of depression.  She knows that feeling sad can be very disheartening, and that the temptation to hole yourself away and cry for days is strong.  But she suggests that when you’re feeling sad, seek out your favourite person, be it a family member, friend, or even fictional character.  Spend some time with them, talk to them, write about them or watch their show/read their book (in the case of a character).  It can help you feel more hopeful and potentially cheer you up!

Owen hopes you’re doing better with these suggestions but he just wants you to remember that sometimes, feeling stressed and sad for “no reason” can be a sign of a hormone/chemical imbalance in your brain and may need treatment.   If you’re not improving, it would be worth it to see a doctor or even a counsellor and tell them your concerns; they can help you.

The whole team wants you to know that you’re good and strong and you can get through this. <3

[torchwoodpositivity]

To the period Anon. I have pcos, and one of the main symptoms is irregular periods. If this has happened before, you should def talk to your doctor. If it hasn't, you can wait up to three months safely! In case getting in immediately isn't possible and you start worrying.

There you are, Anon!

Hopefully this lovely person can help reassure you a little bit.

[torchwoodpositivity]

I NEED ADVICE FROM THE GIRLS OF TORCHWOOD (and possibly Owen because he’s a doctor)! So my period is late more than a week and I’m DEFINITELY not pregnant, should I see a doctor or wait it out? I have no idea if this is normal or concerning.

Gwen and Tosh send their sympathies - it’s never fun going through something like that, regardless the circumstance.  They know how awful it is having to deal with a period in the first place, let alone one that’s not regular like that.  Both of them suggest always being prepared and carrying period supplies with you in case it comes unexpectedly and not letting yourself get overly stressed about it if you’re absolutely certain you cannot be pregnant.

Owen wants to reassure you that there are many things that can delay your cycle and that most of those things are benign and will resolve themselves.  Stress is a common one, so if you’ve been more stressed than usual lately he suggests finding ways to decompress and step away from whatever’s got you down.  Tosh suggests a bubble bath, while Gwen thinks a night in with your favorite movie and a mountain of popcorn.  If you’re still concerned in another day or two, all three urge you to see your doctor.  It’s still probably not a big deal, but it is MUCH better safe than sorry!

[torchwoodpositivity]

could i please get some advice from Jack? There's a big possibility I could be moving across the country by the end of the year, and i'm not sure how to break the news to my friends. Is there anything i could do to make the talk any less stressful on myself? I'm excited for the move but i also don't want to lose my friends, i will miss them a lot.

Jack knows what it feels like to move around and leave behind people that you care about, and he offers his deepest sympathies.  

It’s never easy to break this kind of news to anyone, but Jack suggests coming right out and being honest.  The sooner you let them know, the sooner you can all start to make the most of the time you have left together and create awesome, lasting memories.  He understands that having that kind of discussion can cause anxiety, but he wants to remind you that your friends are there for you and that they’ll be supportive and understanding.  Maybe break it to them at the start of a fun day out so that you can use the remainder of the day to cheer up and connect, or if talking in person is difficult for you, perhaps try writing them each personalized letters explaining things.

As for losing your friends, being away from them doesn’t have to mean your friendships will be broken.  With texting and social media you can connect anytime, anywhere, and if you want to make things even more fun, suggest things like little gift exchanges at holidays, video chatting, or sending post cards once in a while.  There are lots of ways to keep in touch no matter the distance!

In the end, he knows you’ll be able to break the news, even if it’s hard.  He believes in you and wants you to know that he’ll support you no matter what you choose to do.

[torchwoodpositivity]

I have so many summer projects, and I keep procrastinating. Could I get some advice from Ianto on how to stay productive?

Ianto can totally understand that feeling.  Sometimes having multiple projects at once can feel super overwhelming and lead to procrastinating because you don’t even know where to start.

He suggests making a list; write each project down, and the steps you need to take to finish them.  Then you can look at it each day and decide what you’re in the mood for accomplishing that day.  Perhaps one day you’ll do step 1 from 3 different projects, or maybe you’ll want to to steps 1-2 or 2-4 (etc) from a single project.  It’ll help keep you more organized and goal oriented; if you cross off each step as you complete them, it can serve as motivation to keep going, because look at how much you’re getting accomplished!

Ianto wishes you the best of luck and offers words of reassurance, because he knows you can do it! :)

[torchwoodpositivity]

Any chance I can get advice from the Ianto and Tosh about giving too much of yourself to someone in a relationship? I’ve recently been giving my boyfriend anything and everything he wants, and it’s not like he’s not returning it, but I don’t know if I’m overdoing it or exhausting myself.

Ianto and Tosh are sorry to hear that your relationship isn’t as fulfilling as you’d like it to be right now, but they’re both sure that things can be ironed out!

Tosh knows what it’s like to feel like you’re giving something all you’ve got with little reward.  She encourages you to talk to your partner about the issue; sometimes it’s hard for other people to see things from your perspective without a little bit of prompting, but she’s sure he’ll be able to reassure you and work things out if you talk to him!

Ianto wants to remind you that a relationship is an equal partnership, and that you can’t pour from an empty cup - it’s important to look out for yourself, too!  Your boyfriend can get by without quite as much as you’re putting out there for him, Ianto’s sure, and he’ll more than likely want to help you back just as much as you help him out if you talk to him!

They both wish you the very best, and hope that things work out.

[torchwoodpositivity]

Updated!

Somehow my tired mind thought you had asked for Owen originally, not Ianto, so I’ve fixed it!  The support still stands. :)

Cheers!

[torchwoodpositivity]

Any chance I can get advice from the Ianto and Tosh about giving too much of yourself to someone in a relationship? I’ve recently been giving my boyfriend anything and everything he wants, and it’s not like he’s not returning it, but I don’t know if I’m overdoing it or exhausting myself.

Ianto and Tosh are sorry to hear that your relationship isn’t as fulfilling as you’d like it to be right now, but they’re both sure that things can be ironed out!

Tosh knows what it’s like to feel like you’re giving something all you’ve got with little reward.  She encourages you to talk to your partner about the issue; sometimes it’s hard for other people to see things from your perspective without a little bit of prompting, but she’s sure he’ll be able to reassure you and work things out if you talk to him!

Ianto wants to remind you that a relationship is an equal partnership, and that you can’t pour from an empty cup - it’s important to look out for yourself, too!  Your boyfriend can get by without quite as much as you’re putting out there for him, Ianto’s sure, and he’ll more than likely want to help you back just as much as you help him out if you talk to him!

They both wish you the very best, and hope that things work out.

[torchwoodpositivity]

can I get some advice from Owen and Tosh about feeling alone? Most of my friends are straight and/or getting married and I don’t have a partner and I just feel so completely and utterly lonely sometimes.

Owen and Tosh are both so sorry to hear that you’re feeling so lonely and isolated lately.  They’ve both faced the same feelings in their own lives surrounded by loving couples and having to go back home to an empty apartment at the end of the night, and they know just how small it can make you feel.

Owen suggests getting out and spending time with friends or family.  He knows from experience that company can make you feel better whether or not it’s the company of someone you’re in love with.  Spend some time around people who can make you feel cared for and welcome, and those feelings of loneliness will ease until you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Tosh suggests perhaps getting a pet, if you’re able.  Animals have a world’s worth of love to give and while they may not be able to talk back when you’re holding a conversation, they can help make home feel a little less empty and quiet.  They’re always full of love and affection when you need it most.

Overall, they both hope that things start looking up for you soon.  They think you’re a wonderful person and you deserve all the best, and they’re sure the right partner is out there looking forward to meeting you as much as you are them!

[torchwoodpositivity]

Team, I'm having a hard time finding balance for all my commitments. Uni, work, family, friends - it's all getting a bit too much and I don't want to disappoint anyone. A little advice?

First of all, everyone on the team wants you to know that you’re doing a great job and they’re super proud of all you’ve accomplished so far.  There is no shame in feeling overwhelmed, but they want you to be able to fix this so that you don’t burn yourself out.  

Jack thinks that your family and friends need to realize that you are VERY busy with work and school and that sometimes you won’t be able to hang out - they should understand that.  Its difficult being a student, especially when you also have to work, and juggling work and school alone can be a nightmare, let alone social things as well.  

Gwen says: Do not feel bad if you have to say no to someone - your own rest and sanity are much more important!!

Tosh wants to know - As for work, is there any chance you could work a bit less (assuming that you’re working a bit too much already)?  Perhaps a few hours less a week might be enough to offset some of the stress?   

Owen suggests (if you don’t have one already) a student planner for school - it can be an absolute godsend for keeping all of your assignments, exams, work shifts, etc. together in one place, and can help you come up with a plan that’s more manageable.  

Lastly, Ianto wants you to please, please try not to worry about disappointing anyone.  You are doing your best and that’s all anyone can ask of you.  You are awesome and you got this.

- <3 Torchwood team

[torchwoodpositivity]

My parents are going through a divorce and it's rough. I'm trying to keep calm for my brother and dad but i don't know how much I'm helping. It's frustrating and I'm feeling useless on top of everything else. Could I have some advice from Ianto, Jack or Tosh?

The team is sorry to hear that you have to watch your family splinter.  No matter how old you are watching your parents part can be incredibly heart-wrenching so they want you to know you’re allowed to fall apart too.

Jack has watched love grow and die more times than he can count in his many lives and he knows how hard it can be to keep your feelings in check.  He wants to remind you that your dad and your brother can be strong sometimes, too, so that you don’t always have to be.  You don’t have to bear this burden on your own.

Ianto knows what it’s like to have rocky family dynamics and what it’s like to watch other family members go through rough periods.  He wants to remind you that you are not useless, and that the depth of your caring for your family is evidence of your kind heart and compassion.  Needing to step back from things to care for yourself is not uselessness.

Tosh is familiar with feeling overwhelmed and helpless.  She wants you to know that you are your own harshest critic, and that others see your love and support where you see those things lacking.  You are the only one privy to those crushing feelings of helplessness and so it might be helpful to express them so that your family can reassure you that that’s not the case.  Being open and communicative can make a world of difference.

Overall, the team wishes you and your family all the best in this trying time.  They hope you make it through the worst of things very soon, and they’re confident you’ll be an even more loving and stronger person on the other side.

[torchwoodpositivity]

hey, i was wondering if i could get some positivity from owen or andy. i’m trans but i struggle feeling proud of it. help?

Owen and Andy both know what it’s like to struggle with something only to wind up feeling less than happy with who and what they’ve become.  There are a lot of critics out there who would want for you to feel badly about yourself, but you shouldn’t pay them any mind.

Owen wants you to know that any time you achieve something and become more of who it is you want to be, it’s worth celebrating and being proud of.  You’ve worked hard to overcome many challenges and now it’s time to sit back a little and congratulate yourself on a job well done.  

Andy hopes that you know you’re valid, worthy, and great just the way you are.  You’ve walked a long road to get to where you are and if you turn around and look at just how far you’ve come, he knows you’ll start to feel better.

Both men want you to live with truth and to celebrate the person that you are.  There’s only one you and even if you can’t always feel proud of yourself, they’re always rooting for you!

[torchwoodpositivity]

I’m currently dealing with trying to heal a sprained pelvis, keep my spine from shifting back, and heal my badly skinned knee :(. It hurts! Jack, how do you deal with the pain while healing? Medium-low, I would say.

Jack knows how much healing after a bad accident or injury can hurt, and he’s sorry to hear that you’re going through it right now. 

He recommends a team approach with everyone involved in your care.  Listening to doctors’ advice can sometimes be difficult, but the closer you stick to your treatment plan the less eventful your healing journey will be.  He knows it might take a long time, but he sees how strong you are and he’s confident you’ll get through it.

Jack knows how distracting pain can be, too, but he suggests trying something to help you keep your mind off of it.  If reading isn’t enough or isn’t your thing, something with a little more flash might help more, like a video game or watching a movie.  Playing games with friends or family can be nice, too, because it’s harder to focus inwardly when you’re with other people.

Whatever you end up trying to help alleviate some of the pain and the awful, seemingly endless waiting to improve, Jack hopes you make a speedy recovery and feel better in no time!

[torchwoodpositivity]

Ianto, do you have any advice on how to cope with PTSD from people hurting you? It's hard to feel anything but awful these days.

Ianto knows how heavy the weight of past trauma can be, and he’s not unfamiliar with being hurt, either.  He understands that it’s hard to look ahead when the past is always on your mind and to trust people after you’ve been hurt so much.

The first thing he would suggest is slowly trying to surround yourself with people who love and care about you.  It’s hard to rebuild that trust, but if you spend time with more positive people in your life who make you feel better rather than bringing you down in small doses, eventually you’ll start to feel that love and acceptance and it’ll replace some of that lingering pain in time.

If you’re struggling with PTSD symptoms, he urges you to get counselling if that’s something you’re willing to try.  There are counselors out there who specialize in treating PTSD and they can work you through the worst of this until you start to feel more in control of your feelings again.  Ianto wishes you all the best and he’ll support you 100% of the way, however you choose to help yourself through this!

[torchwoodpositivity]

I was wondering if I could get some advice from Jack about remembering to brush my teeth. It is my worst habit. Medium-ish urgency. 🙏

Jack understands that sometimes trivial things can get brushed aside when you’ve got a lot on your mind, but he wants you to know just how important it is to take care of your health, which absolutely includes your teeth.  Tooth decay has been linked to everything from headaches to heart disease, and he really doesn’t want you to have any kind of issues.

He suggests setting alarms for half an hour to fifteen minutes before you’re planning on going to bed, and also putting sticky notes in obvious places so you’re reminded - perhaps on the bathroom mirror so you see it when you go in to use the toilet, or on your bedside table or headboard, so you see it before you get into bed and are reminded to do it.   If you live with someone else and don’t mind them knowing about your bad habit, you could also ask them to remind you to brush your teeth when they brush theirs (assuming you go to bed around the same time, or later than they do).

Jack also understands that forming new habits can take time, and he wants you to go easy on yourself if you forget here and there; it happens!  Doing your best is the most important thing!  You can do it!

[torchwoodpositivity]

Hey, could I please have something from Jack about dealing with anxiety and feeling embarrassed about getting stressed over dumb situations?

Jack wants you to know that feeling embarrassed about things like that is normal and valid.  The stigma around anxiety and other mental health issues is lifting, but he understands completely that it’s a lot to handle right now.  He also wants you to know that coping in whatever way you’re able is nothing to be ashamed of, and getting upset like that isn’t anything to be embarrassed about.  As long as whatever you’re doing to cope works for you, that’s perfectly fine.

For anxiety in the moment, Jack recommends doing your best to remember to take slow, deep breaths.  Focus on the small things around you - the situation that is causing your anxiety is best left for later, just deal with the feelings first.  When it comes to the overall things that cause you anxiety, writing them all down so you have them laid out in front of you can help you to catalog and manage them.  Take small steps and approach things one at a time.  You’ll get a handle on it all eventually!

Jack urges you to take care of yourself and to find small ways every day to help deal with little things before the become big worries.  Taking a proactive approach is a great way to prevent larger anxieties from arising in the future.  

Whatever comes your way, Jack knows you can do it!

[torchwoodpositivity]

Hey Jack. I'm not sure I want to die but I'm not sure I want to live and I'm feeling very overwhelmed and under so much pressure not to let everyone down. What can I do?

Jack is very sorry to hear that you’re at such a difficult point in your life.  No one deserves to go through feeling the way you are right now.  He wants you to know that you’re being tremendously brave just for hanging in like you are, and so long as you hang in there you’ll never let him down.  He wants you to stay alive because the world just wouldn’t be the same without you.  He hopes that you can get the help and support you need to find solutions to the pressures you’re experiencing, and that things start to turn around for you very soon.  If you ever need him, he’s right here and willing to listen and give advice.