Forever Young

Fake it 'til you make it baby. 20 something/dying

[fakesleepwalking]

phone in bed can range from comforting to mundane but phone in parked car will have you feeling like you've never done anything right in your entire life

[fairycosmos]

good morning to the beaten and the damned only

[beansfrombeans]

[vamplire]

spending my twenties rotting and decaying

[berrycobbler]

it's so hardcover –> we're so paperback

[librarylurker]

this post is making me pronounce hardcover in a way i never considered

[vetchtibbles]

make sure to give a good little scoff at posts that displease you. a quick glottal exhalation with perhaps the raising of an eyebrow should do it

[montrealswolfboy]

[kiisaes]

everyone eat more vegetables NOW!!! and mention the last vegetable you ate in the tags so we're all on the buddy system. I'll start: bok choy

[etheltempest]

it’s never a goalie’s fault when a team loses. except when it’s carter hart. that’s 100% his fault and we should all point and laugh

[byjove]

ages 0-7: slowly gain sentience

ages 7-12: be an ‘old soul’

ages 12-16: allow the darkness to consume you

ages 16-19: be a kid for the first time ever

ages 19-30: develop dad lore

ages 30-35: court a beautiful lady

ages 35-40: get married, start a family

ages 40-55: promise to clean out the gutters and never do it again

ages 55-60: allow the darkness to consume you once more

ages 60-75: swinger cruises with your beautiful wife

ages 75-86: be an eccentric grandfather

age 86: mysteriously disappear

[puzzled-on-main]

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

[circusheart]

I do think the post that's like "when they torture you to insanity and then torture you for being insane 😂🤣" is one of the most succinct and foundational analyses of interpersonal violence and conflict that had ever been written

[thecryptkeeper]

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

[userfish]

this is the craziest thing I’ve ever fucking seen

[pussyronin-deactivated20260120]

if i were in charge of star wars i would end the last movie witth yoda reading the story out of a big book and he gives a little chuckle and says "happened, none of that did." and then he gets out of his truck and waddles into walmart

[beardedmrbean]

[lhavdil]

a hometown is a type of dead wife

[lhavdil]

[byjove]

why are art museums the only museums with cafeterias? imagine if you just got done walking through a civil war museum and there was a place offering hardtack and soup beans and really bad coffee based on the rations of a union soldier