The Untamed Incorrect Quotes

I don’t even know why I started this but here we go. [Submissions welcome]

[totallycorrectuntamedquotes]

Wen Ning: [bursts into tears]

Lan Sizhui: Is he okay?

Wei Wuxian: Yeah he’s fine, sometimes he just gets overwhelmed by all the love he has in his heart.

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Lan Sizhui: Fuck!

Everyone: [gasps]

Lan Sizhui: That’s right I’m rude now.

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Waiter: Wine?

Lan Wangji: No thank you. I do not drink.

Waiter: Oh, tea then?

Wei Wuxian: He just said he doesn’t drink.

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Wei Wuxian: I am going to speak to you very vaguely about a problem that I have, and you cannot ask me any questions or details about it.

Jiang Cheng: That is my ideal conversation, aside from no conversation, but that feels unlikely.

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Lan Wangji, before a night hunt: We're going out in public. I expect you to be on your best behavior.

Wei Wuxian: You kids better listen to Hanuang-jun.

Lan Wangji: I was talking to you.

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Jin Ling: I heard that a man was once paralyzed after eating 413 chicken nuggets.

Lan Jingyi, cracking his knuckles: So the limit is 412?

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Wei Wuxian: Hey, does anyone here know how to play the flute?

Jiang Cheng: Why?

Wei Wuxian: I wanna wander around Cloud Recesses and play one to annoy Lan Zhan.

Nie Huaisang: Technically you don’t need to know how to play it to do that.

Wei Wuxian: You have opened my eyes.

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Wei Wuxian: Do you trust me?

Lan Wangji: No.

Wei Wuxian: I’ll take that as a yes!

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Nie Huaisang: So, what did we practice you would say to Lan Wangji?

Wei Wuxian: "Will you go out with me tomorrow night?"

Nie Huaisang: And what did you say to him?

Wei Wuxian: I accidentally told him to suck my dick.

Nie Huaisang: How do you accidentally tell someone to suck your dick?

Wei Wuxian: I panicked, okay!

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My friends all say I’m judgy, but I never listen to them or care what they say because they’re stupid idiots.

Jin Ling

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Lan Sizhui: Hey, what was the name of that crazy guy from Mo Village?

Lan Jingyi: His donkey’s name is Lil’ Apple.

Lan Sizhui: That’s not what I asked.

Lan Jingyi: But it’s the information I have.

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Wei Wuxian: People are constantly asking me: “Wei Wuxian, what's it like to be a sex symbol?”

Wei Wuxian: [trips and hits his head on a chair before falling on the floor]

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Wen Qing: Why are you helping me?

Wei Wuxian: Because my life is a mess and I instinctively help others when I don't know how to take care of myself.

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Jiang Cheng: Jin Ling, if you're going to be a good sect leader, you’re gonna need to harness your repressed rage.

Jin Ling: I DONT HAVE ANY!

Jiang Cheng: Spoken like a person with repressed rage.

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Lan Wangji: Four hours is the most time I've ever spent alone with any human. It was the worst experience of my life.

Wei Wuxian: What about that time we were stuck in the coldspring cave together? That was about four hours.

Wei Wuxian: Oh, I see what just happened.

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Wei Wuxian: Look, we're not going to agree, so let's make peace. What do you say we change the tone a bit and both say something nice about each other? I'll go first. Look at you. There's no way around it, you're a beautiful man.

Lan Wangji:

Wei Wuxian: Now it’s your turn.

Lan Wangji: I never agreed to that.

Wei Wuxian: You beautiful son of a bitch.

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Wei Wuxian: You think I enjoy being mother hen to you all?

The Juniors: ...

Wei Wuxian: Okay, fine, it’s like crack to me.