Mostly A Stony Blog

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[tracingmemories13]

SHANE HOLLANDER NEEDS MORE FRILLY SOCKS!!!!

[hollanone]

post-rose landry, shane goes to boston to surprise ilya because isn't that what the spare key is for? shane let himself in and got into the Shock of His Life when he finds a sex doll that looks like him in ilya's bed

ofc he texts this to ilya and ilya is obvs embarrassed but he tries to play it off "i had it custom to look exactly like you" shane is furious "this is so disrespectful to me i am literally Here and you're fucking a sex doll" and when ilya doesn't reply (he didn't know what to say) shane texts him like is this how my hole feels like and ilya visibly groans and be like no shane yours is hotter and tighter i promise

and so that night shane insists ilya fuck the doll first while shane kisses him on the neck and after minutes of ilya pleading and begging shane pls pls let me fuck you i will throw the doll away you are the best thing to me, shane finally lets ilya fuck him

and ilya was about to throw it the next day but then shane stops him and finally admitted actually its so hot ilya can they do one that looks exactly like you for research purposes only

[hollanone]

isn't that what all that matters?

Summary:

All the years of hiding from and fighting for and loving despite of, just for it to end on a Tuesday afternoon like this.

But maybe, it’s for the best, that they choose a path they want, not what the other wants, even if it means losing the other. In the grand scheme of things, maybe it’s for the best. In the grand scheme of things, isn’t that what all that matters?

[mutinsfromthemoon]

a short au idea where shane dropping by supriste at his girlfriend’s house because he was on a work trip and when he knocks on her door it takes a while to swing open, and when it finally does he’s face to face with a half-naked man he’s never seen before and his girlfriend appears behind him and turns all apologetic and starts crying when she notices shane at the door and starts saying it’s not what it looks like and begging for forgiveness, but shane just stands there barely listening, only having eyes for the guy who’s leaning against the doorframe looking completely unbothered, smirking like he’s actually enjoying the whole scene, and it makes shane so mad, so he pulls his hand away from his ex’s grip, breaks up with her, and leaves. he goes straight to his car but doesn’t turn the engine on, just leans his forehead against the steering wheel and stays there for like fifteen minutes, until he hears someone knock on his window and looks up and it’s the guy, so he rolls the window down and snaps “what do you want?”and the guy goes “i didn’t know she had a boyfriend” and shane’s like “so what?” and the guy, smirking just like before, goes “if i knew she had a boyfriend who looked like you, i would’ve been chasing you instead of her” and shane’s thinking this situation is absurd (and secretly pleased) and just asks “what the fuck is your problem?” and the guy goes “my problem is that i clearly chose the wrong one, now you can help me correct it, right?” and he winks at shane, who just flips him off, rolls up the window, and drives away. later shane is at a bar telling what happened to his friends when someone slides into the booth next to him and it’s the guy and his friend rose goes “shane, this is ilya, he’s the guy i met at the painting class and was telling you that you two would be great friends” and shane is sitting there horrified and speechless while ilya gives him that same satisfied smirk and goes “oh shane, we’re definitely going to be GREAT friends” and now shane is truly fucked

[fohatic]

Hydra!Steve/Tony Stark, from a comic by @xiaminnie

[todaysbird]

i think this is…actually the most extreme stupid dove nest I’ve seen.

video

[kaiapraxidike]

[tartrazeen]

Imagine you're coming home after a long day of hunting, and the first thing you hear is your seven shitty kids screeching at you for no reason, how pissed off would you be, I'd immediately fly away too

Imagine you're the oldest of seven and a fucking HOA member broke into your HOUSE and SHIT AN EGG and is BITING at your siblings, but your dad shows so you try to tell him the problem but you're very little and you don't speak English and he doesn't speak English either so you can't communicate that a fucking GOBLIN is in your HOUSE and the only reason he doesn't know is cause his ASS was on that bitch's HEAD and he must've assumed it was one of your brothers and sisters but it was actually that FREAK WOMAN who got in, and now your dad is flying away 'cause he has no idea what's going on

Imagine you're a parent and you've calmed down and gone to get McDonald's for your seven kids, and you come home expecting to get cheers because you know the D's are always a winner, but when you fly back in through the door the kids are all still screaming, and it's not even excited screams but you don't know what's wrong so you just look into the camera like you're Jim from the Office

Imagine you're one of the small middle children and probably the one that this HOA WITCH was BITING after she broke into YOUR HOUSE and SHIT an EGG and you tried to be a good host by cuddling with her to congratulate her on her egg but then she started BITING and taking over your ROOM and threw out all your GOOSEBUMPS books and your eldest sibling couldn't call dad so you all just had to wait, and then dad comes home but your STUPID FAMILY won't stop SCREECHING to explain what's going on so your dad leaves but then comes back and he's brought McDonald's which is like yay but there is an INTRUDER, and finally your dad looks around the house and notices BITCH BIRD KAREN IN YOUR BEAN BAG CHAIR, and you're like ok dad can handle this but then you learn he's more scared than you?????

Imagine you're a dad and you just got home with McDonald's and WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN MY HOUSE but luckily you have seven children and the mean one is willing to fight this bitch and you're just gonna chill in this corner until this problem is resolved even if your other kids are straight-up judging you

Imagine you're Kevin McCallister and you're doing Home Alone except you're not home alone 'cause your dad is home too but he's not helping, he's just holding a bag of McDonald's, so you have to be the head of this house at eight years old 'cause you're home alone emotionally but this FREAK ON AN EGG isn't leaving so you decide to screech at your dad and he's more scared of you than she is

Imagine you're a dad and your child has publicly shamed you in front of your other kids and this ASSHOLE KAREN and you decide you're not gonna take this shit anymore so you tell your kids that you paid for this McDonald's with your hard-earned bird money and they're gonna damn well eat this, so everybody stop looking at that side of the house and just eat your fucking french fries but then that fucking MONSTER starts BITING your only child willing to go into battle so you recognize this is a lost cause and throw the burgers on the counter and you remember you're an ADULT so you grab your car keys and fly the fuck away

Imagine you're all seven children and dad left you with the pigeon again

[middlepeep]

Ok I caved and made them kith

[bloominflowers]

thinking about Shane's first pride night with the Centaurs ;u;

[thoughtsthinksandthings]

Headcanon that baby Shane has a slight accent when speaking English, and it's for a super unexpected reason.

A few weeks post-partum, Yuna decided that their son should be bilingual. Yuna speaks to Shane in Japanese, and David speaks to him in French. Baby Shane catches on extremely quickly.

It isn’t until baby Shane is enrolled in daycare that the staff notices he has a hard time following directions and making friends.

Yuna and David find it hard to believe. At home, baby Shane is speaking two languages and actively translating between French and Japanese. It’s not until a few weeks later that Yuna comes to the realization.

“David,” she calls from the kitchen after hearing David read Shane a book in French. “Did we ever formally teach this kid English?”

And David is sitting there stunned, because no, no, they did not. Sure, David and Yuna spoke to each other in English, and to their friends and family in English when they visited the house, but they never spoke to Shane in English.

They enroll Shane in an English as a Second Language class (which really should be called English as a third language, in this case). Shane eventually catches up and becomes somewhat fluent in English, but he has this slight hybrid Euro-Asian accent when he speaks it.

[mina-logan]

When your bro is also your bunny it can be something so special.

[snowsmoked]

Ilya never gets dementia. He worries about it, with his genetic predisposition and his frequent head injuries. But he never gets it.

His brother does.

His brother calls him, forgetting that Ilya went no-contact with him. Ilya's silent on the phone, listening to Alexei's wife softly explain it to him and take the phone.

He texts Ilya, asking when where he is. Asking who he's playing next game.

Ilya's been retired for over 20 years.

He knows Shane wants to say something, but he never does. He's just quietly supportive.

One day, it's Alexei's wife that calls him. She apologizes for calling. She tells him Alexei doesn't remember her anymore. Or their daughter. He only asks about Ilya and their parents. She offers to delete Ilya's number from his phone.

Ilya declines.

After that, he starts answering the phone. And talking.

Alexei asks where he is. Ilya tells him he's coming home soon. That seems to make Alexei happy.

Alexei asks who Ilya is playing. Ilya says Montreal. Alexei tells him to win or papa will be angry.

Alexei tells him mama made him soup. Ilya tells him that was his daughter. Alexei laughs, he doesn't have a daughter.

He doesn't remember how cruel he was to Ilya. He doesn't remember how much he loved drugs and drinking.

He was so much like Ilya's Alexei, before he started taking after their father. Before he let his anger at their mother consume him. Before he caught Ilya and Sasha and allowed his fear for his little brother to turn into anger and disgust.

One day Ilya offers his wife, Natalia, to have them visit. Their daughter has visited more than once, even stayed with them for a summer after high school. His and Shane's kids tried to teach her hockey.

Natalia regretfully tells him Alexei is not well enough to travel.

Ilya can't travel to them, not while he's married to Shane.

But their phone calls are enough.

About once a week, he gets to speak to a version of his brother than he had dearly missed. He gets to talk about his mama like she's still live, not dead for over 50 years. He gets to talk about the rink he and Alexei used to play hockey at. To talk about the stray cat he and Alexei once hid in their bedroom for a week.

He finds himself looking forward to the phone calls.

And dearly missing when they end.

[snowsmoked]

Even after they come out, Shane is a private person. So is Ilya. And, look, Shane is very happy that the centaurs are so accepting. He really, really has to remind himself how relieved and happy he is about it. He also remembers that this is how locker rooms are. As captain of the metros, the amount of times he had to tell off a player for showing pictures of their girlfriend's breasts or ass to other players was uncomfortably high.

So he really should have expected the question, "so who is, you know, the man?"

"Excuse me?"

"Dude, you can't ask that," a very progressive Young advised. "You gotta ask who's the top. Not the man."

Shane exhaled slowly. He loves his team he loves his team he loves his team.

"That is private," Shane said firmly. "And inappropriate in the workplace."

He was, of course, largely ignored. And while neither him nor Ilya really enjoyed their team, their friends, the internet, and homophobic players guessing their bedroom arraignments, Shane was surprised that nearly everyone got it wrong.

The general consensus what that Shane was the man. His going out outfit was usually jeans and a t-shirt, Ilya's was tight leather pants and a leopard print with four buttons undone. When they drank, Shane got a beer and Ilya either got shots or the sweetest cocktail they had. Ilya was more flamboyant, Shane was more reserved. Ilya liked to bake, Shane liked to grill.

And yes, Shane was aware why all these seemingly innocuous personality traits accumulated to make Shane the man and Ilya the girl. Still, it didn't stop it being generally annoying, offensive, and uncomfortable. Nonetheless, Shane liked finding the silver lining in that this was something just for them to know.

Ilya finds it more amusing then Shane. And, like most things, tries to use it to his advantage.

"Shaaaane, carry my bag," Ilya held out his hockey bag.

"No."

"I can't believe you treat your girlfriend like this."

~*~

"Is it a happy bouquet or an 'i'm sorry' one?" Holmsberg asked as he and the rookies peered over Young's phone. "Get the all roses one."

"That's the most expensive one!"

"Dude."

"Shane," Ilya whined, calling their attention to him. "Why don't you ever buy me flowers?"

"That's messed up, dude," LaPointe shook his head.

"I'll buy you roses, Roz." Wyatt grinned.

"You will not," Shane grumbled.

~*~

"Ah," Ilya winced as he lowered himself on the bench.

"You okay?" Shane asked him. He had taken a hard check into the boards early in the game and, despite reassuring Shane he was fine, he knew his hip was killing him.

"Fine," Ilya said predictability. "Just sore. Will be fine in a minute."

"Hey," Zane nudged Shane's shoulder. "Go easy on him on game days, okay? We need him."

"Go easy?" Shane's eyebrows drew together. "What do you - Oh! No, that isn't - he - I didn't -"

"It's fine, man. Whatever you two-"

"No!" Shane interrupted. "He's still sore off of Richard's check - Not - Ilya, stop laughing!"

~*~

"Doesn't it bother you?" Shane asks Ilya one day.

"What?"

"That everyone assumes you're, you know," Shane gestured, a cute little blush on his cheeks. "The girl."

"There is no girl," Ilya raises his eyebrows and palms Shane through his pants. "I would know."

"Asshole," Shane scoffs. "You know what I mean."

"I know," Ilya smiled. "But no. It does not bother me."

"Why not?"

"Because it's hot," Ilya lifted his hands, over Shane's chest and up to his face. "That people can't even imagine you like this."

Ilya dips to kiss his neck and Shane's eyes flutter shut.

"Makes no sense," Ilya continued, hands roaming down to Shane's ass. "To me, I know this immediately."

"F-fuck off, you did not."

"Oh, I did," Ilya gripped his chin, forcing Shane to look at him. "I see you... those beautiful freckles and I know how desperate you are for it. So obvious. Thought everyone was looking at this boy thinking how good he would look getting fucked. How well he would take it."

"Ilya..."

"Shh," Ilya patted his face. "But I think is better this way. That only I get to even imagine you like this. Only I get to have it."

"Only you," Shane agreed readily, hands flying to the zipper on Ilya's jeans.

"Only for me," Ilya agreed, letting Shane take down his pants and boxers. He pressed down on Shane's shoulders, the slightest pressure getting him to sink down, eyes already heavy. Ilya ran his hand through Shane's soft hair, watching the gold of his wedding ring catch the room's low light. "Only for me. Forever."

[orteil42]

why do closed captions keep pretending english is the only intelligible language? when a character speaks spanish what exactly is forcing your hand to transcribe it as "[speaks foreign language]" rather than "Si"

[concerningwolves]

This intersection of Anglocentric bias + ableism and audism makes my blood boil.

People commonly defend this practise with "But the audience isn't meant to understand!" or "It's inconsequential!", neither of which actually address a) their assumption that the [ideal Anglo] audience wouldn't understand, or, perhaps most crucially in the context of CCs, b) that this is a failure of accessibility. A hearing person who speaks that "foreign" language will know exactly what's being said. A deaf or HoH person – the people CCs are primarily intended for – who speaks or reads that language should therefore have the exact same opportunity to understand. It very much feels to me like an assumption that we deaf and HoH people couldn't possibly understand any language but English, so there's no point in getting those languages transcribed for us. I hope it goes without saying how profoundly audist that sentiment is.

There is also, I think, a profound misunderstanding or ignorance of Deaf culture at play. Which is to say, CCs in English-language media are written with not only the assumption that the audience will be native English speakers, but that all d/Deaf and HoH people speak English as their first language, so all other languages are as supposedly foreign to them as they are for hearing people. But sign languages are their own distinct language. BSL, ASL, ISL, AusLan, NZSL etc ≠ English (and are indeed different from one another), LIS ≠ Italian, JSL ≠ Japanese, and so on. So, if you follow the captioners' logic to its natural extreme, all non-signed dialogue is "foreign" to many d/Deaf and HoH people and should therefore be labelled [speaks foreign language] / [speaks English] / [speaks own language] / etc. – which is, obviously, a terrible idea that perfectly highlights all the biases implicit in closed captioning.

TL;DR: your accessibility feature fails in its function as soon as you fail to transcribe all spoken languages.

[lilylikeswords]

@heatonice I have no self restraint and too much free time. I apologise... (there's also a baby Ilya and an adult Ilya now)

[flyora]

Harris do his best as always

[casualcryptid69]

We’re under a severe thunderstorm warning rn and my dad just opened the door to show my dog because he was begging to go out and it reminded me of that part in Dracula where Dracula opens the door to the howling wolves and Jonathan’s like um actually I’ll stay inside thanks

[scorpionlafemme]