certified gender traitor

blog for discussing trans issues | he/him | not my main

[trannytink]

i have a lot of names, just call me tink. he/him. transsexual perisex genderqueer guy. white usamerican. ablebodied + neurodivergent/mentally ill. adult.

i post about gendered and sexed forms of oppression. bc i’m a trans guy, a majority of posts will be about transandrophobia. this does not mean that i support or tolerate transmisogynistic behavior/views in any way. it’s also not solely what i post about; posts about intersexism, misogyny, transmisogyny, etc will be reblogged occasionally.

this blog has no dni but i will block anyone being assholeish or acting in bad faith. i don’t follow from here.

tagging system:

#333 say the thing to me - asks

#i want my money back - original posts

#i remember every little thing as if it happened only yesterday - reblogs where i’ve added commentary of any kind

#off topic - what it sounds like

[deepestsearchwarrent-found94]

Something interesting I've noticed is that a lot of people (not all, not exclusively trans fems) seem to discredit transandrophobia under the idea that masculinity plays no part in oppression. A statement that is fundamentally not true.

Masculinity (when paired with another oppressed class) has always been used in oppression of that class. Disabled men have their masculinity attacked or are told to just be man. MOC have been arrested for sex crimes that they didn't commit. Poor men have been shamed for not doing a "man's job" of supporting his family.

Men's abuse is often brushed under the rug, or justified (especially if the abuser is a woman). I know when I reported abuse with both of my abusers (both cis women) I was either told to man up, that I should enjoy it, or that I should understand their perspective and do better. I know a close friend of mine was treated the same way, I know acquaintances who were treated the same way.

But when my second abuser falsely accused me of SA it was immediately believed by basically everyone. In person I was isolated, even online I lost most of my circle, I still haven't been able to rebuild my life. My abuse was cast aside when I had proof, evidence, witnesses, and hers was believed when it was just word of mouth. Even when I had messages showing her threatening to falsely accuse me, I was never believed.

There's a common rhetoric in even left queer spaces that men are inherently evil, trans men are cast out of spaces or expected to feminize ourselves.

So I hope it's understandable why there should be a word for the oppression of trans men, when it so often gets tied with the inherent man-ness of ourselves.

[mewos-laptop]

I genuinely don't think the trans/queer community at large has separated itself from the transphobic idea that everything trans men do is embarrassing and cringe, and it rlly shows in the way some of you talk abt your questioning of your gender back in 2020, as well as artists and people associated with teenage/young transman/masc culture, and it's rlly disappointing to see, esp since it's so common in the transmasc community itself

[mewos-laptop]

Like,, genuinely a lot of you are just doing misogyny with extra steps (don't get on my ass for calling this what it is, that being misogyny. I am not misgendering anyone, because misogyny is experienced by EVERYONE regardless of gender. I am quite literally a trans guy myself don't fuck with me over this)

"Lmao these cringe trans boys who think they invented indie/grunge music, they're such posers" carries the same energy as "Oh hahha she has such a cringe taste in music, she wants to be one of the boys SO bad"

Like srsly some of you are just repeating misogynist talking points and then saying "oh but it's just tough love, these trans boys won't pass and be REAL men unless they stop listening to Cavetown and Mother Mother" to cover up the fact that you just hate trans men and view them as women who want to be unique and different

[cannibalistic-tranny-deactivate]

imagine hating men more than you love women. imagine mocking a statement telling you to love women. as a lesbian. we think you have to be a pretty shitty excuse of a lesbian feminist to be like that

[tea-and-secrets]

Excuse me but YES dehumanisation is still bad even when you do it to men eveneven when you specify WhiteCisStraightNeurotypical men! And making sweeping generalisations about them is still gender essentialism even if you're trans!

(and NO, I'm not saying this to stick up for the poor widdle bois because i see them as victims, i'm saying it because YOU PEOPLE are engaging in harmful ideology while acting like you aren't!)

.

[thewarmvoid]

timeline cleanser for all the trans men + transmascs following me 🖤

[sanguinewolves]

[plain text: “timeline cleanser for all the trans men + transmascs following me 🖤” /end pt.]

[velvetvexations]

I don't ever want to come off like I'm scolding people for how they respond to the absolutely insane aggression they get on a daily basis. Posts calling out "transmisogyny" among people who discuss transandrophobia has gotten on my nerves some, particuarly about OOPs that just made me think "Ha! Good one." I regret not being more vocal when I disagreed with something like that because I feel like it was a genuine failure on my part to not stick up for people having extremely restrained reactions to people coming at them first much more viciously much more often.

Having said that, let's please, please remember that no trans woman needs to unlearn toxic masculinity. If a trans woman hates people with vulvas, it's just the same misogyny cis women exhibit and get from the same source: the constant messaging in society that those people are stupid and weak and annoying. It doesn't uniquely effect trans women because we were generally male socialized, that messaging is omnipresent and results in internalized misogyny in cis women extremely frequently. "Male socialization" is itself an extremely broad range of experiences and not even applicable to all trans women, some of whom report being female socialized or otherwise treated distinctly from other children AMAB growing up.

We do not need to speculate that much on why some trans women act like that. Just as they're capable of being misogynistic because it came free with living in a misogynistic society, so is everyone. It's not about being raised one way or the other. There's not really any way to square this position with opposition to sex-segregation, since it must necessarily justify the position that people AFAB need special exclusive spaces away from people who might still carry negative traits exclusive to male socialization. And that's not even true of cis men, let alone trans women.

[eclipsedomens]

re: that other post. i HATE HATE HATE the modern trans discourse thats just "boys versus girls but Progressive this time I Promise ^_^" like you have GOT to be kidding me. its so so so odd to me that people can Be transgender and still come to the conclusion that Bioessentialism is Good actually, cis people are just doing it wrong. come the fuck on. does anyone remember when it was considered STUPID in the trans community to be policing people based on agab. remember when it was embarrassing to Ask what gender someone was before transitioning. im walking in circles i feel ill Hello

[eclipsedomens]

you guys have GOT to stop using the word truther

[dysphoria-things]

“sure i mean these bills affect all trans people but they specifically target and name trans women” an executive order was signed to halt transition under 19 with the expectation that we need our breasts for our future as mothers and cites anti fgm laws against trans men and mascs specifically. what do you MEAN we arent being targeted

[gor3sigil]

A cis woman tells me that maybe she should transition to gain male privilege as I'm recovering from getting beaten up in the men's bathrooms.

I tell her to be my guest and give me a call when she gets her jaw broken, I always carry a first aid kit and a pepper spray.

She calls me a misogynistic asshole.

A cis man tells me that he'd sure love some T.

Gave him my prescription and best of luck with the constant shortages and getting denied.

He calls me a pussy.

I'm fighting for my life and reproductive rights. I get told to get off women's fights, that it's not about me, like I shed my womb after my first T shot.

I search for support groups for SA victims, and I'm stuck in the same “women/NBs only”. Still shooting my shot, send an application. I introduce myself. Never get a call back.

I go to a trans night. Say I go by he/him. Get told back “yeah, that's how we all start !” by a trans woman. I'm too exhausted, I get up and I leave.

I hang out with my friends, one of them drunkenly says masculinity is a prison we must learn to escape. She gets rows of applause. Back to drinking alone.

Yes I could explain it. But who'd you rather be ? A delusional girl or a man made threat ?Or it could be better, I could just not exist ! And we'd bleach my corpse and I'd become a casualty. Not an F, ot an M, a W for Wound and for Wrong.

I put a candle on a single cupcake, 2 years on HRT. I blow it in the dark. Curtains closed like casket.

[st-dionysus]

Hey so I've heard you're the one who's coined transandrophobia and I wanted to properly get it from the main source- what is an exact and specific definition of the theory and all it entails? I recently wrote a piece on it because of a specific source and the ways I feel it failed to understand the root of oppression- however it was not by you and therefore is more likely to have been a bastardization or a flawed version of it. I want to know what the original theory is so I can better understand things and know if the issue I find is more so due to things people have thrown on top of it overtime.

Feel free to ignore this if you want, absolutely no pressure.

Hello, I am writing a book on the topic, until then, This Post is a rough run down on defining transandrophobia and some examples, I suggest you start there.

Further reading would be This Post (discussing the importance of not harrasing transandrophobic people online, since it does help combat transandrophobia), This Post (Discussing one of the many ways trans men's struggles are dismissed as lesser despite the grave violence we face), This Post (Explaining why waiting for the perfect term to define transmasculine oppression is futile), and This Post (Discussing one of the ways that transandrophobia kills trans men).

I can not, in a single post, provide an "exact and specific definition of the theory and all it entails" for transandrophobia any more than I could provide the "exact and specific definition of the theory and all it entails" for idk Marxism. It is a large and complex topic and tumblr has never been the ideal space to discuss theory due to the social desire for harassment that haunts this site.

But the short of it is "Transandrophobia is a term to describe how the fear of men (androphobia) and gender essentialist politics in certain spaces, queer and non-queer, trans and cis, effects transgender men's lives." The reason this term exists, is to provide trans men with language to discuss this specific and often shared experience of violence and rejection, in the hopes that it will encourage discussion among queer and trans circles along with prompting organization and mutual aid for trans men.

[luckynein]

I’m curious, how do you feel this intersects with parts of transmasculine oppression that don’t have to do with fear of men and such? Do you feel like there’s a space for multiple terms? Transandrophobia as you see it to be defined and also terms like anti-transmasculinity that might touch of aspects this definition of transandrophobia might not?

Feel free to not answer, this is entirely just my own curiosity.

[st-dionysus]

If you look at the very first link in this post, I will link it HERE again, you will see that yes I think there is space for multiple terms. When I coined Transandrophobia the only other term in use was transmisandry which I was not fond of (though I don't mean to dismiss all conversations that happened under that term, as many were important and just lacked a better word). I am partial to the terms "Anti-transmasculinty" and "Transmasculine oppression" as broad words to encompass many types of oppression that trans masculine people face, transandrophobia being a specific term for a specific type of oppression that falls under the anti-transmasculinity umbrella.

[trannytink]

funny that trans men are told to be quiet, speak when spoken to, never acknowledge their oppression. funny that some people online are characterizing us as either incompetent and unintelligent, or insidious, untrustworthy snakes. i wonder if that’s reminiscent of anything else that’s been said about any other gendered group… i can’t quite put my finger on it…

[pansnovidinniaabandoned]

(thats called misandry guys. cis men are not allowed to talk about themselves too. society immediately shuts them down with "dont speak over women", "be a real man, stop crying", "you're rapist because you're a man" etc.)

[trannytink]

nope, this is a post specifically about misogyny faced by trans men. please do not derail it.

[beepbeepmfkr]

Your issues with masculinity and malehood are not the curse that trans men must bear in order to earn your respect or protection ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[futurev1ctorian]

Idk which one of you fuckers started this shit but you need to get it through your heads.

You MUST respect people’s pronouns. (👍)

INCLUDING IF THEY ARE CIS. (🔥😨🔪💥)

When I still identified as a girl, I would try to make friends within queer circles and a Significant™️ number of people (in different friend groups!) would ask my pronouns, I’d say “she/her, sorry I’m boring lol”, and then they would REFUSE to call me by my preferred pronouns. It was ALWAYS they/them—which is a good default! Should be the default!! I am glad it’s becoming the default!!! The problem was that i informed them repeatedly that those were NOT the pronouns they should use for me anymore, and was repeatedly denied my gender identity.

“Sorry you just don’t look cis”

“Whoops I thought you were joking”

“Oh yea well I’m not used to those pronouns”

“Oh well I use they/them for everyone it’s not a personal thing”

You’re transphobic.

Any argument you use for not using cis people’s pronouns is a transphobic argument. You are refusing to use people’s preferred pronouns. You are transphobic.

Stop this shit immediately. I’m not gonna say it again (unless I need to :))))) {seriously quit I’m so sick of hearing us do this}

[bitter-limelight]

I am begging everyone on any side of any bit of bullshit discourse to realize the fact that *transitioning does not equal passing.* These are not synonyms. Trans men do not have this magical trans power some of you seem to think we do where testosterone makes us look like men. Even a high dose. Even after years and *years* of transitioning. Even after top surgery and the right hair cut and a deeper voice and legal document change and care in how you move and speak and only wearing men's clothes and only being around people who never knew you Before,

Some of us don't pass. I'm so exhausted hearing this bullshit from 15-20 year olds about how all a boy has to do is put on a hoodie and he passes as a man or hearing that we can't understand how it is to be treated as a woman "after we transition." Like I WISH I lived in this fantasy world you live in where choosing to transition means passing and the ability to be stealth. Please tell that to the men who throw a fit seeing my skinny titless facial hair having ass in the men's room multiple times a week.

[majesticcorn2000]

people like to talk about how bad toxic masculinity is until they hear transmasculine people talking about their experience and suddenly it turns into "stop whining, you are A MAN"